I spent some time with Blue Angel at the vet's office. Dr. Graf so very generously came in to complete Blue Angel's passing. Blue Angel was in her bed which is a 1/2 carrier draped with comfy blankets. Kathy and I sat on the floor and visited with Blue Angel. I shared memories from birth. Dr. Kathy cried. My heart was slowing shredding. I was with Blue Angel at her birth and cut her cord and placed her to her mother. Blue Angel slipped away very peacefully. Afterward, I brought her home for her littermate Sami to say, Goodbye. Sami sniffed her ear, licked and nipped at her other ear. He sat by her before her bath and longer afterwards. I gave Blue Angel a bath and dried her fur. She was always a soft beautiful kitty, but illness took it's tow on her cotton soft fur. I made an impression for a paw print. After her bath, I placed her in a coffin like box Kathy gave. Sami sat in the top of the box and watched. I lined the box with silk like linen, place Blue Angel inside. I put Blue Angel's laser, her favorite catnip mouse stocking, a picture of her with her littermates Sami and Shadow, a family portrait, and a peacock feather. I sprinkled some dried rose petals from her mother's memorial flowers with her. I folded the linen gently over her body. On top of the blanket I placed a golden butterfly. I took her back to the vet's office. Kathy's husband will complete Blue Angel's cremation. We'll make arrangements for a witnessed cremation. I'll be with her until her little body becomes cremains and back in my care. My little sweetheart has fluttered away. My heart is broken this night of March 27, 2010. It is so terrible to lose a real life Angel especially when the angel is a special feline Blue Angel.

Blue Angel it has been my honor to share almost 18 years of life with. I miss you terribly. You enjoyed many years of excellent health. You were a real trooper at enduring chronic pancreatitis, IBD, diabetes and then renal failure which took you away.Just know if there had been another option to treat you, it would have been done. You tolerated more shots than any kitty should ever need in a lifetime. You sniffed your meter and lancet for glucose checks! There's so many wonderful memories of you. I'm too sad to write more at this time. Just know I loved you and I will miss your daily Good Mornings!

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Blue Angel there are many wonderful memories sharing life with your for almost 18 years. I was with you when you were born after 12:30 PM June 20, 1992. KoKo became tired and needed help as you, Shadow and Sami were born. You quickly turned into a little white energetic kitten, playful, and so much fun. You loved jumpin, tossin, and flippin for da bird. You got stuck in a whicker chair with Shadow because it was a chair for a floral arrangement. You taught yourself to use the litter box the first time you saw it. You climbed upon the phone book, tumbled into the litter box, played then used it. You enjoyed sitting in the window watching neighborhood children, mail carrier and paperboy. One day I came home from work to find Sami, Shadow and you had shredded a box of Kleenex throughout the house, it snowed tissue that day. You were my only lap kitty of the Himalayans. At any opportunity you quietly made your way to my lap. There were times KoKo was on my chest and you on my lap when watching tv, movie or reading. You spent a lot of time on my lap when I worked at the computer. You chased the mouse never leaving a scratch on the monitor. When I got a laptop, it wasn't unusual for a message to contain a "message from Blue Angel" as a part of the email. In our house in Rochester, you climbed on the loft stairway ledge and hung out over the corner. You chased a laser light with convincing energy you had the light under your paw or in your mouth. Your favorite toys were the kat kaster, laser, Da Bird and peacock feather. You would immmediately come running when the kat kaster was tossed. You would play until exhausted. Katnip simply made you crazy and so much fun. A filbert nut would give you hours of play. You would work very hard to retrieve the nut if batted under a cabinet or other out of reach area. I alway bought you a bag of filbert nuts each Christmas. You enjoyed Christmas, just like a child peeking at gifts. You could hardly wait for grass, treats and toys. You especially enjoyed the remote control mouse. After watching a Friskie Cat Performance at a cat show, I trained you to jump through hoops, run through tunnels, and other stunts. You loved the attention and easily learned to jump through the hoops at different heights and angles. Within a few days, we had a little routine down. As soon as I go the hoop out, you were ready! Almost every morning of your life, you climbed upon me just before the alarm, snuggling, purring and excited to be petted. You were such a happy morning kitty. You were so sweet, I could never get frustrated when you woke me up. When I walked by you, you often would stretch out your paw for a greeting and a paw shake. I loved this greeting. I don't have any negative memories of you. I don't write this because you are gone, it's true. I can't think of one unpleasant behavior or experience with you.

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April 3, 2010 Blue Angel's Cremation: Blue Angel was cremated in Swisher, IA with the kindness of Drs. Kathy and Tristan Graf.

It is Saturday, the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Today you, Blue Angel, will leave the physical form of your body and slip into nature differently. I'm glad I can be with you during this transition, my sadness is overwhelming. From numbness, tearfulness, denial and gratitude for having you as long as I did is the turmoil of my emotions. This is the place I can be with you but not go with you. Letting go and knowing this is the journey you take alone is where I send my heart with you always and keep your heart with me forever. Life, Death, Absence and Memories merge.

I spent a few minutes with your body. Your fur was so very soft. I kissed a token heart inscribed "I am with you always" placed on you, one for your cremation and one for me to keep. Symbolic token of infinite connectivity. I held you for one last time petting and kissed you. Tristan handed you to Kathy. She then handed you, my babykat, to Tristan to place you for cremation. So respectful, but sad.

I sit by as you are being cremated and respectfully returned to nature. It's a beautiful sunny day for your transition. You are changing forms in a rustic furnace, under a beautiful blue sky with just the right number of fluffy purr white clouds. The air is fresh, the flowers are beautiful, all is quiet except the sound of your cremation. As sad as it is, it is strangely peaceful.

As you were being cremated, I wrote your Memorial Poem and prepared the urn for your cremains.

......................BLUE ANGEL...................................................(4-3-2010)

Born June 20, 1992 a tiny white kitten to mama KoKo
matured into a sweet petite Blue Point Himalayan
Littermate to Shadow and Sami, friend to Sugar and Sunshine
Lapkat of Himalayans, Babykat of Family

Named Blue Angel by coincidence
Representative of power and serenity
Perfect example of flawless living
Endless source of giving, seldom request of receiving

Star of entertainment, easily trained
jump upon the stool, run across the counter
back and forth through the hoops, circling the tunnel
simple response, let's play Happy Performer

Mouse chases at computer, no extended claw
leaping madness at laser, stalking Da Bird
Catnip chosen antidote for pleasure
eating, romping, rolling, frolicking delight

Early Morning Alarm, perched upon the human
purring loudly, proudly announced presence
Time for chin scratches, headbutts, and massage
Good Morning my person, Wake quickly for me

Seventeen years, ten months, seven days of precious life
IBD, chronic pancreatitis, diabetes, acute renal failure
Thank you sweet Blue Angel for Happy Good Days
Tomorrows, awakening yielding Blue Angelic Memories.

On Easter Sunday, Tristan brought your cremains out in a bucket with flowers painted on it.. I picked out three bones, two toes and one rib. I almost kept your skull. I couldn't. I didn't remember enough of the proverb I was told after KoKo's cremation while choosing the bones to share. It's hard to explain the meaningfulness of seeing your skeletal remains and choosing a few small bones. Although it's just bones, your bones, it's like having you back. Somehow freeing. Your cremains were processed and placed in your Urn. I gave Kathy a picture of you when you were first sick and 2 pictures from last year after she became your vet. I'm so thankful for the almost 2 years she helped you to have.

Blue Angel, you're home now along side Sunshine, Shadow, KoKo.

A special thanks to Blue Angel's vet, Dr. Kathy Graf. Because of Kathy, I had almost two more good years with Blue Angel I don't think I would have had without her. I'll never forget seeing Blue Angel in Kathy's arms at her last ultrasound, it was the right place for her to be. Thank you, Kathy, for being there at the saddest time in my life with Blue Angel. I'll appreciate you sitting on the floor with me, crying my heart's tears as Blue Angel's and her kitty family's life rushed through my mind before her euthanasia. Thanks for understanding my need to take Blue Angel home for Sami, to bathe her, hold and kiss her frozen body, be with her at cremation and choosing bones even though I couldn't remember the proverb. Blue Angel was lucky to have you as her doctor and I'm lucky too! We appreciate you. Tristan, thank you for Blue Angel's respectful cremation.

April 10, 2010. After your bath, I made an impression for a Bronze Paw Print, put the impression in the mail. Two days later, an impression I kept hardened and crumbled. I thought the mailed impressions would do the same. I expected an email or call a pawprint could not be made. Today the package came with the container I sent the impressions and a pawprint in bubble wrap. It's bronze with smooth edges and unique. I can't put it down. It was returned with the impressions, a perfect match. Later, I noticed another bubble wrapped package, I received 2 paw prints. When I walked by you, you would extend your paw for a paw shake or greeting. I loved holding your paw and spent much of our goodbye time holding and petting your paw. I'm glad to have you paw print, it's yours I love it. Thank you, Tracy Paine and Pet Paws for Blue Angel's Purrfect Paw Prints.

April 17, 2010 Recieved your Memorial Stamps and mailed your memory cards. It's already been three weeks. I'm glad to have had you almost 18 years, know it was best for you to let you go, but I feel very sad.

A candle is placed in the window with a golden glow connecting our hearts forever.

If there's a bridge, go find Sugar, Sunshine, Shadow, Koko and Dr. Catlett. If not, you have been enjoyed and one of the best memories ever.

=^..^= April 27, 2010....One month ago at this time I made the decision for your euthansia. I looked at "kitty baby" pictures last night, when you were solid white with a tiny darkening nose, when you were only a month old with KoKo, stuck in the wicker chair, 3-4 weeks old with bandaids on your ears, 5 months old sleeping on the couch with Shadow and Sami, cuddling with KoKo.........Miss your soft fur, beautiful blue eyes, paw shakes and most of all the early morning greetings. Love and miss you, Blue Angel.

May 27, 2010
It's already been 2 month since your euthanisa. Time seems to be speeding by. Not sure I like the gap of time between having you and your death widening so quickly. At times your pictures on the computer screen saver are real as if you are sitting on my lap, as if I can pet your cotton soft fur. I came across a picture of Sami hovering over you in your bed, just lying nearby, alertly watching you, another picture of you snug with warm, soft blankets with a catnip mouse wedged between your chin and paw. Mornings are not the same without you. I sure miss you...Sami still sleeps in your bed, I think he misses you to. Love you, sweetie.
Sami spends the day sleeping in your bed. He has been spending the evenings with me in the living room. He spent this evening sleeping in your bed and is still there. Kitty hearts must hurt too.

June 20, 2010 Blue Angel, today would have been your 18th birthday. You were so close to this day. There was a time, I began to think I would have you for 18 years. I miss you very much and enjoyed all the years and days I did have you. One of your favorite Christmas presents was a Cat in the Hat bed. I gave vet's office the Cat and The Hat book with your picture in your bed in your memory. You will be remembered with a special butterfly.

March 27, 2011

Blue Angel. Today, it's been one year ago since your death. That was one of the worst weekends ever. It was terrible having you to spend your last hours of life away from home. It was the only way to know if treatment could help you but I'm not sure a kind ending to your life for you. Sometimes I feel so sorry for that weekend for you too. I spent so little time with you, the last hours of your life. It's hard to believe it's already been a year. I miss you. You chair sits empty, there's been a few times I've thought I caught a glimpse of you in your chair, only to look closer to see it empty. Your warm purr, sweet disposition and playfulness will never be forgotten. I spent time with your memory box today for a moment of connection. I love your paw print. It's a way to still hold your paw. Your candle glows in the window, your pawprint left a deep impression in my heart..........I'll miss and love you forever. Love you sweet little girl, love and miss you. I wish kats lived forever!!!! Katmom!!!!

August 21, 2011 Thinking of you today. Missing your funny, sweet and gental mannerisms. Love you.

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Blue Angel, it has 2 years ago now that I began saying goodbye to you..you left my arms and embedded your forever pawprint into my heart. It seems impossible you have been gone for 2 years. I often think of you and miss your cuddly sweet gentleness. Nova reminds me so much of you. I often find myself calling her Boopy just like I called you. She's a chest lounger like you were, cuddly and sweet as you. The times she reminds of you leaves me feeling like having an unexpected moment with you again. I sure love you and miss your family....KoKo certainly gave me the best group of kitties ever and you all gave me best love for Himalayans that can happen. I visit your urn tonight, I hold you, kiss you, remember you and embrace your memory. Sad as I am you are no longer with me, I am forever thankful you were mine during your entire life! I love you sweetheart, I miss you! Peace my little feline friend, peace! Love and miss you most!!!

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June 20, 2012 Happy Birthday little Ms. Blue Angel "Boopies Blue" I sure miss you. One of the sweetest cats every. I do miss you and Nova has so many antics and personality characterists similar to you. I call her Blue Angel so often...makes it feel like you are a little closer. I miss you and love you very much. Sure wish we were celebrating your 20th birthday.

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March 27, 2013 Dearest Blue Angel, it's so very hard to believe and sad to know that you have been gone for 3 years....I don't like the gap of time lengthening between you and your feline family...creates a distance that is so very sad. I miss you, Sami, Shadow, Sunshine and your mamma KoKo so very much...I wish you were here with Nova, Mystic, Zen and Zeiss. Wish my two felines families were one forever and together. I so miss you. I'll love you forever.
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March 27,2014 It was about this time 4 years ago, I spent final time with you. One of the saddest days of my life...a night I'll always feel sad about...lenght of life doesn't alter the distress of life's end....I find myself calling Nova "Blue Angel" unintentionally, this always makes me stop and think of you..sometimes I hug her and tell her about you...sometimes I just think of you. I miss you so much, glad you are mine and wish you could be here with me. Love you sweetheart.
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March 27, 2015 My little Blue Angel. I have thought of you often throughout this week.. It's hard to believe 5 years have already passed since we were separated. I will never not miss you, I will never not have a tear in my heart because of your absence, I will forever smile when I see Nova sharing one of your antics and accidentally calling her Blue Angel......a compliment to a sweet cat just like you. I miss you and your entire feline family......I wish I could have you all back...there's an absence that can't be filled. Love and miss you my sweet little one!!!
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March 27, 2016 Blue Angel, how can it be that you have already been absent 6 years....I miss you. You were such a sweet lap kitty............I wish I could have had you and your family forever...I hate that time since separation begins to compete with the length of time I had you. Love your forever and miss you as much. Sweetie!!!!
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March 27, 2017 dearest Blue Angel, how can it already be 7 years since your death. Seems impossible, I miss you, Shadow, Sami and KoKo so much. I often accidentally call Nova by your name. I miss life with my first Himalayan family.
I miss you I love you.
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March 27, 2022. Sad memories of the day I had to let you go...unimaginable its already 12 years, you are forever a part of my life and missed. You along with your mother KoKo's family rest on the fireplace mantle. Love and miss you sweet of the sweetest! Wish your time was forever.
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Please also visit Koko Macadamia KitKat, Mystic Phantom KitKat, Sami Clovis KitKat, Shadow Baby KitKat, Sugar, Sunshine and Tiger.