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Memories of COCOA LAPUFF PARRIS

My Dearest Cocoa,
I remember the day we went and picked you up, it was the happiest day of my life. I remember us sharing our first bowl of ice cream on our way home and we have been inseparable ever since. You have been there for me through the smiles and the tears and the heartbreaks. I knew I could conquer anything and everything as long as you were by my side. I do not have one memory that does not involve you in it whether it was a prom pic or a hunting pic or just a summer time pic, you were always there. You were the best thing in my life and I am so scared to have to face life challenges without you. You helped me grow up and mature. You are my best friend and will always be. I remember the day the vet said that they had found a tumor in your bladder and the prognosis was grim, I broke down and cried for days, I couldnt imagine loosing you,my very best friend. You amazed me with your strength, you survived two more years. I knew you were tired of struggling to live, I knew you stayed around because of your love for me, when you felt it in your heart that I would make it through this difficult time, you decided to give up the fight. As much as it breaks my heart, I know you are in a better place and we will be together again. You were so much more than just my dog, you were my sweet little boy. I love you with all my heart and I miss you so much I can barely breathe. You gave me fifteen years of laughter and memories, I can never thank you enough. Thank you for loving me, as I loved you. We all miss you Cocoa Man!!! We have lost a huge part of our family, and it will never be the same without you. Don't forget how much you were loved by everyone around you. I love you so very much and one day we will be together again. Jodi
03/04/2010 Hey my little man, today is the first day that your smile will not be seen, your smell will not be around, and the house will be quit. We no longer will hear you bark at your sister (Stella Bella)when she sits on the counter top and looks down at you (she knows that drives you insane) or you two fighting over which side of the bed you will lay on. I went to work today, I couldn't stay at home, seeing your pictures EVERYWHERE makes me cry. Everyone was saddened to hear that you are no longer with us, they all thought you were just to cute for your own good, and you, of course knew that! I hope the pain will start to lessen, and I hope I can think of memories and just smile because of all the time that I had with you, I mean I got you when I was nine and now I am almost 25 (where did the time go?!?). You were there when I started middle school, highschool, college, and then nursing school and you helped me thru it all. I cried into your fur when I was sad, we shared a pillow when we were tired, and when we were scared we hid under the covers. Every once in awhile your "big dog" attitude would come out, especially if you thought I was getting hurt. Please tell Cocoa #1 (your big brother that you never got to meet) that he still has not been forgotten and is very loved. I love you Cocoa Moe, your my life and I am scared not having you around, but you are in a better place. You dont cough anymore and struggle to breathe. Harlowe Sue and Stella misses you very much! Please never leave me. I love you! Jojo
3/5/2010 Hey Cocoa LaPuff, I miss you so much! I think today has been so far the hardest yet. The day of your passing, I was so shocked from the phone call from your "grammy" saying that you are no longer with us that I really couldn't find the emotions that I know have. Yesterday was hard because I was in disbelief-I always thought that I would have you "forever", as unrealistic as that may sound. Today I felt alone, I felt like my heart has been taking away from me... I have never felt like this. I am so angry, I wasnt ready to let you go, but I guess I never would be and that would be selfish because I know you were sick. I get so sick to my stomach knowing that I wont get to see you again (or not right now-one day I will). I want you back more than anything. "Grammy" misses you like crazy too. I call her, and she sounds so down, she took such good care of you when you needed the extra attention when I couldnt be there. Im so thankful for her...the love she showed you, the patience she had with you since you are the world's worst medicine taker and possibly the world's pickiest eater. She would cook you anything you wanted to eat, no more dog food for you (and you know I am the world's worst cook. We wont ever be the same without our lil Cocoa Man, but your memory will live on with us until we can meet again. I love you my sweet baby boy. I miss you more than you will ever know. Sweet dreams! Jojo
3/6/2010 Hey Cocoa Moe! Ugh today has been one of those days that I would have came home and just snuggled with you and all my "ugh's" and "oh my goodness" would just disappear. I called your grammy today to check on her, she was having a rough day. This would be the day that we would let you outside to "sunbathe" or you would walk over to the neighbor's yard and watch the birds and bugs. You always made us come and get you, you could get over there but you were not sure how to come back! It's not ever going to be the same, since we wont be able to see you sitting in the neighbors yard, inching closer and closer to their back door. We still havnt been able to empty your dishes and clean up your bed, we took your sweater that you were you wearing and laid it in the bed. I dont think any of us is ready to let you go. You are missed so much and loved so much. We got you back yesterday, grammy couldnt let you stay over night at the vet's office. Grammy said she put you outside today and then tonight she put you back in your bed. I am going to come and get you in the next couple of days. I love you and I miss you more today! Good night my sweet boy and have sweet dreams. Please come and visit me tonight! P.S I had the most odd thing happen today, someone bought me breakfast. I was in the drive thru line, and the car infront of me bought it (had no idea who they were) but they told the cashier to tell me to have a great day and injoy the sunshine. How did they know that I needed to have a good day?!? I think you had something to do with that, you were letting me know it will be okay. Thank you, it made me smile and think of how awesome you are.
3/7/2010 Hey Pooh Bear, I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you, it was so hard waking up today knowing that I wouldnt get to see you. I think about you all the time. You are still my baby boy and my best friend, no matter what. Dont forget that. I love you with all my heart and soul. I pray that one day my life will feel a little bit more "normal". You are the best thing that God has ever given me, I thank him everyday for allowing me to become your mommy, there was a reason I picked you 15 years ago and not your other two litter mates. God knew you were the right for me, I truely believe everything happens for a reason. You made me a stronger and more independent person. I love you baby. Nite nite sweet dreams. LUBBB and MUBBB! Jojo
3/9/2010 Hey Baby Boy! I am sorry I did not write you last night, I did though join the candlelight tribute. It was perfect. It made me feel like I wasnt alone. I thought about you all day and missed you like crazy. Today was the first day that I laughed since you left. Me and the girls went had a drink and talked and laughed. It was nice, but I missed you like crazy. I dont want to laugh, I dont want to enjoy life because I cant enjoy it with you. I feel guilty when I laugh. Today is your little sister's birthday, she turned two today. She is as rotten as you, although she's not as sweet as my baby boy she's more feisty. You were always the most sweetest, lovable dog I have ever known. You let everyone know who your momma was. You never left my side, you would rather be on my lap or in my arms than running around with other animals or other people. You were very content. I tried to give you the best life I could, I hope you feel the same. I hope you know how much you were loved and cherished and how much you are missed.I pray that you lived a happy life. You gave me so much happiness in mine. I love you lil man. Sweet dreams! Please come and visit me tonight. Let me know you are here. (Kisses) Jojo
3/14/2010 Hey Cocoa Moe! It's been a week and a half since you left, I remember making this past last week. Time goes by so fast.I went home this weekend, I barely could go into your room, seeing you bed, sweater, and food and not you was really hard. I held your bed and smelled your smell and I realized I would never have your smell again. I cried this weekend, it was really difficult you not being there with me. Stella misses you so much, she let Harlowe around her without scratching her, but she growled like a lion. You were her best friend and big brother and nothing will ever take the place of you. She let me pet her today and I did not loose any blood :). I held your box all weekend, I sat you one the couch while I watched the cooking channel, I took you outside when Harlowe went out to potty. I put you back in your bed when I went to bed and brought you upstairs this morning for breakfast. I miss you so much, it feels like I am in a horrible dream that I cant wake up from. I know you needed to go, you were tired of fighting to breathe but I miss you more each day. I know you are not far, you are my guardian angle. Grammy's friend had to put there furbaby down the other day, she also had cancer. Please take care of her and show her the ropes and help her family with their heartache. I love you baby boy, I will never get all my heart back because when you left, you took part of it with you. You will always have my heart and soul and know that you still mean the world to me. You always made me smile and I am getting to the place that when I think about you I smile but I usually have tears. I love you and miss you, good nite sweet boy "Kiss Kiss" Jojo
3/17/2010 Hey Cocoa Man, its already been two weeks since you left. Not a second of the day goes by without me missing you. I look at your pictures everyday and see you smiling at me. You were the best dog, friend, companion I could have ever asked for. Im so blessed to have felt unconditional love by you, and I learned what it meant to truely love someone or something. You are my little Cocoa Man and you are missed by so many people. I miss you and love you my sweet baby. I still have my necklace with you name on it. I love you. Nite nite sweetdreams. Come and visit me in my dreams. Kiss Kiss. Jojo
3/24/2010 Hey Cocoa Moe, Today is three weeks since I got to see your sweet face. I miss you so much. I saw your bed this weekend, I can still smell you scent on it. You are the best friend a person could ever ask for. Even though you are not with me in body, I know your spirit is always with me. I know Im never alone. I love you my sweet boy and miss you more than anything. Good nite sweet boy! Sweet dreams! Kiss kiss Jojo (Come see me in my dreams).
5/26/2010 Hey my lil man! How are you? I am sorry that I have not wrote you in awhile but you know there's not a day goes by that I dont miss you and think of you and wish you were still with me. My heart is still broken, I feel like my best friend is no longer here with me but I know you always are with me. I brought you back home from grammy's. I put you in the living room so you can keep watch of your sassy little sister. We still have not moved your bed and sweater or even your food bowl, I just can't right now. Even though I know your not here, just seeing your stuff makes me feel like you are here. I can smell your smell on your sweater. Please watch after Harlowe, I am so scared of loosing her too. You two are the most important thing in my life, you are my baby boy. She has helped the pain, she is nothing like you. She is so much more feisty and sassy. She is not my lovable baby boy that would lay on the bed with me all day and watch tv with me.Everyone knew you were a mamma's boy. You were the best lil boy a person could ask for. You have given me so much happiness that I could never thank you enough. We miss you Cocoa Man. I love you so very much and miss you so very much. "Kiss kiss" sweet dreams baby boy. Love always JoJo. Ps come and visit me in my dreams tonight. I am going through a lil turmoil right now, please help me get on the right direction and be able to see what is the best outcome for me. I love you.
12/19/2010 Hey my lil man! I know that it has been awhile since I wrote you last but you know I always talk to you! I have had so much going on lately. I have started school again which stinks and all I seem to do anymore is study and work. I miss you so much. I dont know how I have made it thru the holidays thus far without my "other" half. Grammy stayed the night last night and we talked about you, how much we miss you and love you. There will never be another Cocoa Parris as long as I live. I cant believe its been 9 months since I lost you. I know you are in a better place now, your not struggling to breath or walk anymore. You recently had your sweet 16 birthday. You dont know how much you have helped me get thru the hard times in my life. I am finally finding my happiness. I go out with my friends and I see the family more. I know you did not want to leave me but I know God was ready for another angel. I know you are up there in Heaven with Justice, Dixie, and Grandmother. I love you so much, I still have your name on my necklace by my heart. I miss you my sweet boy! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Please come and see me in my dreams tonight. I miss you! Harlowe and Lola miss their big brother! Sweet dreams Cocoa Moe! Love you always and forever, Jojo
Hey Cocoa Man, I haven't written in awhile but yesterday was two years since your passing and I missed you so much yesterday. I still cry thinking of you, I know that you are in a better place but my heart still hurts not seeing your smiling face. when you left, I not only lost my baby boy but I lost my best friend who got me thru some tough times. I'm doing good besides missing you, I graduate nursing in about 2 months which I am beyond excited about. I have a new friend in my life that is amazing...you would love him. Harlowe Sue turns 4 on Friday. You taught her how to be the best baby girl ever. She reminds me so much of you and the way you made me feel loved. I just wanted to let you know that not a day goes by that I don't sit by you and miss you more than anything. I love you baby boy more than anything in this world and I hope one day I will get to see your sweet face. Love you Momma, Harlowe Sue, and Lola Belle.
08/22/2012 Hey baby boy! I am sorry that I haven't wrote in awhile...it has been crazy here! No matter how crazy it gets around here I never once go a day without thinking about you and feeling your presence all around me. I don't think I have ever missed something so much. I thought it would get easier as time went by but it really hasn't. I haven't forgave myself for dating that horrible person while you were alive. You deserved such a better "male influence". The past two years has been a whirl wind. I have so many positive changes in life. I wish you were here with me to experience them. I graduated nursing school and now unfortunately I started back. I have a wonderful boyfriend in my life that treats Harlowe and Lola like they were his from the start and I am truly happy. Don't get me wrong I do have rough life moments but I am a strong person and can get through anything. I love you more than words can say and I miss you so much my heart hurts just thinking about you. Harlowe is doing great...she is a mess but she is a momma's girl. She reminds me of you...not as sweet and quite like you but like you. Lola is doing great...she is huge! Grammy misses you too. I love you baby boy and miss you more than anything in this world. Love you lots Momma

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