Jan 30, 2021 -Day 366 My dearest Abbey, Happy Sweet 16th Birthday, Baby🎀 You've been gone 365 full days and today you are spending your second birthday at Rainbow Bridge😭

I hope that you are happy and that you do not have any memory of what happened about half a day before your 15th birthday. Sixteen years ago, you came into this world and shortly thereafter, we got a call that you were born (in Severy, KS) and so we patiently waited for you to be 8 weeks old to come live with us. We met you and you chose me the day before you were 7 weeks old.

Your fur parents were Hao Hun Yun (black & white) and Ker Al (brindle, white). I remember sitting on the floor with you and many other fur puppies as I tried to decide which one was going to be my companion. But YOU, my sweet Baby, made that decision - you had decided that you wanted me to be your human mama. It was you who kept coming back to me to snuggle on my lap every time I put you down. After a few times of going back and forth, daddy said that YOU had to be the ONE because you wouldn't leave my side and for almost 15 years you stayed right by my side.

I wish I had more information about your first 8 weeks of life, like what time were you born, how much you weighed at birth, what was your birth order, exactly how many siblings you had. I think that you were 1 of 6 babies born on Jan 30 but I am not sure if you had siblings born before or after you. I also wish that I where your siblings went after you were separated from them and your parents on March 24 and are your fur parents and some or all your siblings with you at Rainbow Bridge?

Today is another very HARD day. I wish that I was with you to help celebrate your sweet 16. I wonder what you are doing now...are you alone curled up in a corner sleeping or are you running and playing with your fur family and your new Rainbow Bridge fur family? Are you happy? Did you and all the fur babies that are celebrating a birthday today have a special dinner and a fabulous celebration? I like to think that you are happy, walking, jumping and running like you did when you were a tiny puppy. I hated to watch you sleep most of the day and watching you walk slow as you got older. A few years ago, I began to hate the month of January because it meant that you were one year older. Now I hate January for other reasons, but then again, I have hated every day since you've been gone, and I will continue to hate every day until we are together again. If I may be allowed to make one wish on your birthday, it would be that I could fast forward my time on earth so that I could see you and hold you again.

So today, as I think about how you came to be my faithful companion, I am grateful for the remarkable, smart, sassy, loyal, and beautiful companion you were in my life. Thank you for your love and for always wanting to be with me. I remember your birthdays, in particular the last birthday that you had here on earth on January 30, 2020. I am glad that I took pictures and a video to mark your 14th birthday as that was the last time that I got to celebrate the date of your birth with you.

Abbey, I hope that you know how much I loved you then, how much I love you still, and how much I will continue to love you because my love and devotion to you have no end. The only one good thing about how quickly time passes is that I am one tear, one breath, one heartbeat, and one day closer to you. I love and miss you Baby Girl💔 Every day, forever🤍

2023 -

Jan 6-Day 707 Dear Abbey, another year has begun without you. Two years ago today, you were still here, and I had no idea that our time together was coming to an end in just a matter of weeks. How did I not know? Why was I not given any warning? Or was I and I just did not see them?

17 years ago, it was different. We had not met you yet as you were still in your mama's belly, but we knew that you were going to be born soon. Your arrival to our home changed my life, and for 14 years, 10 months and 4 1/2 days, I had the honor of caring for you and I was lucky to have your love and loyalty. Never did I ever think that I was going to lose you in the same month that you were born. Your birth changed my life and then your death did the same, but in a different way. You loved me your whole life and for that I am eternally grateful. Your life was too short, and I miss you every second of every day. Life just isn't the same anymore. I miss you Abbey, and I cannot wait until we are together again. I love you. Every day, forever🤍💜

Jan 13-Day 714 Dear Abbey, I wish that wherever you are, there were visiting hours, but even more, I wish that I could bring you back home with me. I miss you Babygirl😭 I love you. Every day. Forever🤍

Jan 20-Day 721 My dear sweet Abbey, you were that BEST thing that ever happened to me and the time you spent with me was the most beautiful and best time of my life. I so wish that you were still here instead of there. I miss hearing the pitty-patter of your little paws. I miss your little barks and the soft growling sounds that you would make when you wanted attention or if someone was at the door. I miss the sound of your soft snores when you slept. I miss the warmth of your little body and your soft hair. Simply put, I miss all of you. I love you Baby. I always did and I always will. Every day, forever 💜

Jan 27 Dear Abbey, how is it possible that I've lived 728 days without you? Another Friday and 104 weeks since your life ended😢 That's 24 months since I held you in my arms. Two years since I had to say goodbye to you and kiss you for the last time💔 I don't know what else to say other than my heart is broken into a gazillion pieces. I am sad, bitter, angry and heartbroken to say the least. You were my joy and my reason for getting up every morning. My life just isn't the same without you here...it is empty. I will live whatever time I have left always thinking about you and remembering the years that I had the honor of caring for you. I miss you, baby, with every breath I take, and I will continue to miss you until we meet again😭 I love you Babygirl💖 Every day, forever🤍

Jan 29 My beloved Abbey, I am numb. It still feels unreal that today is your 2-year angelversary. It was a tragic end to our story together which has made it more unbearable to accept. 730 days of relieving our final moments together. 24 months of pure hell to have to go on living without you by my side. My anger makes me question what kind of God does this to a beautiful soul like you. I wish that I could wake up from this nightmare of not having you by my side anymore. Oh gosh, Baby, it hurts so much to not be able to hold and kiss you anymore. I just wish that God would take me now to wherever you are. I want to pick you up and never let you go. I need you with me, sweetheart. I need you back in my life for it to have any meaning. This world is cruel and lonely without you.

I hope that you are happy and that you do not have any memory of your last moments here. It is my hope that what I saw happening to you that awful day, was not bad for you. You deserved a peaceful goodbye from me, and from what I experienced, it was not at all peaceful. And now that today is your 730th day at Rainbow Bridge, I pray that you are running free alongside Sawyer, Rambo, Suzie Woo, Babie J, Barkley, Homer Bear, and all the other fur angels that are waiting for their mommy and/or daddy.

Abbey, I will continue to walk down "Abbey Memory Lane", every day, so that I can run into you, and continue to love you every day, forever❤️

Jan 30, 2023, Happy birthday Babygirl💝 Today is your 3rd heavenly birthday. It would have been your 17th earthly birthday if you were still here with me.

Oh sweetheart, I remember preparing for your homecoming and then finally meeting you seven weeks later. You brought light into my life and our home. You became my faithful companion from that first meeting and until you left me, brokenhearted. You were and will always be the only Babygirl for me. Abbey, the promise of seeing you again is what keeps me going every day, even when my life seems to be falling apart since you left. When I see you again, I am going to pick you up and have you sit on my lap forever.

Today, my wish for you is that you are happy and having loads of fun in "Sniffari". I picture you and all the other fur angels sniffing away. This is how I wish to think of you today. It breaks my heart to ever think that you may be sad without me, but I am hoping that you are not at all sad, but instead, you are running with your "pack" and enjoying many sunny days. I miss you baby, and I love you very much💕 Every day, forever🤍

Feb 3-Day 735 Dear Abbey, I am still in disbelief that this is third 3rd Feb 3rd living without you...another day (735), another week (105), another month (24), and another year (2). It's been much too long without you😭 And all I want is to be with you, in person...not just in the memories of when you were here.

I hope that you remember my love for you and our time together. Be happy, Babygirl, and wait for me. I think about you every moment of every day, and I love you. Every day, forever🤍

Feb 5 - Missing you, my sweet Abbey...😥

Feb 10 Dear Abbey, it's been 742 days, 106 weeks and a little bit over two years since your life ended so unexpectedly but it still feels like yesterday and at the same time it feels as though it's been forever since I last held you. I have been missing you every day since that dreadful Friday, Babygirl😭 Trying to live life without you is so darn difficult and I am ready to be with you wherever you are💔 Gosh, I wish that day would get here soon. I love you, sweet girl💗 Every day, forever and always🤍

Feb 14 You are my always and forever valentine, Abbey❤️

Feb 17-Day 749 Dear Abbey, 107 weeks without has not done anything to make life without you any easier💔 I think about always, and never stop wishing that you were still here with me. Almost 15 years was not enough time together, but then again, no amount of time would ever have been enough. You are soulmate and always will be. I love and miss you sweetheart, always and forever🤍

Feb 24-Day 756 Dear Abbey, a question I ask myself often...how can it be? It has been 108 weeks since you had to leave. I have felt no greater pain then the moment your heart stopped. My broken heart has to carry on without you until it stops, and we meet again. I hope that day will soon be here. I miss you Babygirl, and I continue to love you. Every day, forever and always💜

Mar 1-Dear Abbey, since February only had 28 days, today marks 25 months without you. Grief has been my constant companion since you left. Coping with your loss is an everyday thing for me, but certain days can make it seem so much more intense. Yesterday was the first time that I drove daddy to work alone. For 14+ years, you were always with me to drop him off in the mornings and pick him up whenever he was ready...yesterday it felt weird to pull up in front of the building without you. It was hard. Life is hard and I am tired. I am ready to be with you, together forever. I miss you Abbey, and I love you. Every day, forever and always🤍

Mar 3- Day 763 Dear Abbey, 109 weeks ago our story ended😭 Last night, as there were sirens sounding off from a windstorm, I thought to myself that at least you were not here trembling and afraid of the sounds around us. I imagined that you were in a safe place where there is only sunshine, green grass and occasional snow so that you can run carefree like you used to here. I miss you baby, and I love you. Every day, forever🤍

Mar 10-Day 770 My sweet Abbey, another day and another week without you. I hope that today heaven is beautiful and sunny, and that you are having loads of fun. I only ever want the very best for you, Baby girl. I miss you so much and I never stop thinking about😭 The hope of seeing you again is what keeps me going. I love you sweet girl. Every day. Forever🤍

Mar 17-Day 777 Dear Abbey, here I am again...alone. My heart today is heavy💔😭 Again. I can't wait to be with you, baby. I miss you, and I love you with everything that is in me. Always and forever, sweet Babygirl💗

Mar 19 My dear sweet Abbey, in Heaven you live now. On Earth I am remembering the day you chose me, 17 years ago today. I wish that I could say that I picked you from the litter, but it was you who chose me and for that I am eternally grateful. In the Hebrew Bible, your name Abigail, means "father's joy" or as some may say, "source of joy". I did not know that in 2006 when I chose your name which only leaves me to believe that you were indeed Heaven sent to give me the best 14 years, 10 months, and 5 days (or 10 days if we count the day, you chose me) of my life. Today my heart is super heavy as I remember this day and think about our time together.

I heard this song today for the first time, but I would change the first few words as you were the one who decided that you wanted me to take you home. You were best friend, my endless "source of joy" and companionship, and the gift that I did not deserve but you stayed with me even when I was undeserving of your loyalty and love. These are the words to that song, and it certainly has hit a little harder...

"When I first saw you, I knew I had to take you home. My friends they argued. I could not raise you on my own. But I was sure that you were meant to be with me. You were my angel, sent from above to set me free.

Let's get in my car, and I will take you for a ride. Go to the bar and greet all the customers inside. I will not forget all that you've done for my life. My only hope is, you're up there chasing butterflies.

Through all the hard times, you were right there by my side. And when I needed answers, I just looked into your eyes. Now I do not know all the love you felt inside. My only hope is you're up there chasing butterflies.

I know we'll be together. Another day another time. But until then, just keep on chasing butterflies. Until then, just keep on chasing butterflies."

Daddy tried to convince me to not get a dog because he said that "dogs were too much work". He then wanted a big dog because he said that small dogs were "not dogs". Well, you were not too much work but he was right...you were not a dog. You were my sweet and beautiful baby girl. You are my family, and I would give up everything I have to do life with you, all over again. I miss you so much, Abbey💔😭 and I cannot wait until we are together again. Until then "I won't forget all that you've done for my life. And my only hope is, you're up there chasing butterflies" and having fun while you wait for me. I love you. Every day, forever🤍💜

March 24, 2006, was the day that we picked you up to live with us and you made our house a home. For 14 years, 10 months and 5 days, you brought me joy, love, happiness, and peace. You were my companion and always by my side for 5,425 days. The irony of all ironies is that we picked you on a Friday, at approximately 6 PM and you left me on a Friday...by 2 PM. You were gone out of my earthly life before I knew it.

You were by my side always, for almost exactly 775 weeks. During that time, we spent less than 20 days/nights apart. You slept next to me almost the entirety of your life and I never felt alone. 17 years ago today, was the start of the happiest weekend I ever had. 112 weeks ago, again a Friday, was the beginning of the worst weekend of my life. A weekend that I will never forget, very much, like I will never forget the day that we picked you up. I do not have a picture of that day nor all the details of your first night with me, but I remember how beautiful, sweet, feisty, quick and playful you were. Never in my wildest dream, could I have imagined that you would steal my heart and be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Having you and loving you, changed my life for the better. Losing you has also changed my life. In Heaven you live now. On Earth I still remember the day you were born, and the day you became mine. I miss you Babygirl😭 I love and think of you every second since you left me. Forever my Abbey💕💞💜

Today would have been Rambo's birthday. If we had the year of his birth correct, he would have been 15 years old today. I hope that you all had steak and lots of biscuit treats on the occasion of this very special day for Rambo boy🐾 I miss you, Rambo and Sawyer😢😢💙💙

Mar 29 Dear Abbey, today marks 26 months since I last held your beautiful, little body and touched your silky hair. I have now carried the weight of having had to say goodbye to you in a hospital room for 789 days and will continue to carry it for what remains of my earthly life without you. I wish things were different. Right now, I have a knot in my throat and tears in my eyes as I think of that last morning that we spent together. How could I not have known? Every day I look for you in the photos and memories you left me with. I wish that I had documented more of your earthly life, but even more, I wish that you were still here with me. Or that I was there with you. Or anywhere, as long as we are together. I miss you Babygirl😭💔 I love you. Every day, forever🤍

Mar 31-Dear Abbey, it's the last day of another month without you. It has been 113 weeks of pure hell. I have been missing you for 791 days and the ache in my heart is deep. I miss you Babygirl😭💔 I pray that you are having fun chasing butterflies and running around with Suzie Woo and all the other Shih Tzus at the bridge. There is Babie J, Homer Bear, Jake & Nico as well Lilly Lop and of course Rambo and Sawyer protecting you and your new friends. I cannot wait until I join in the fun with all you furbabies. I love you sweetheart. Every day, forever💜🤍

Apr 7- Dear Abbey, today is day 798 since that dreadful day when you had to leave. It doesn't get any easier, sweet girl. You have no idea how much I miss you and how unhappy and lost I've been without you. You are my great love and my greatest loss. If I could have given up years off my own life to have yours have lasted a little longer, I would have gladly done so. Your life, Sawyer's life, and Rambo's life. It just isn't fair that you were all taken so soon.

I love you Rambo and Sawyer. Thank you for your love, loyalty and companionship to David. You both were very protective of Abbey, and I know that you are keeping her safe now. You are both missed and are forever in our hearts 🐾🐾😢😢🤍🤍

Abbey, thank you for your love. You are truly my soul dog and I miss you every day😢💔 I love you💗 Every day, forever🤍💜

Apr 9 - Dear Abbey, today is day 800. How is that possible? I have been missing you for 800 days, 114 weeks and almost 27 months. I miss the sound of your paws walking thru the house. I miss your snores. I miss hearing you drink water and watching you eat your meals. I miss the sound of you chewing your biscuit treats. I miss hearing the sound of your squeaky toys as you played with them. I miss spending time with you outside on the patio. outside with you. I miss snuggling and sleeping with you. I miss taking you for a ride in your stroller and watching you take in the views. I miss holding you and playing with your tail. I miss having you next to me in the car. I miss hearing the tapping sound that would come from "scratching" the plastic container in the closet. This was something that you started as a puppy when we lived in Olathe and continued on until your last days in Frisco. You were laying next to this container right before you began losing your life. I just simply miss you, sweet girl.

Today is your 3rd Heavenly Easter Sunday. Happy Easter Babygirl🎀🙏 I wish you were here instead of there. I do not observe holidays anymore so I am glad that everyone went away this weekend so that I did not have to go thru the fuss of aknowledging the day.

IF I HAD ONLY KNOWN THE LAST TIME WOULD BE THE LAST TIME... So many regrets, Babygirl, and I know that it doesn't matter anymore because you are gone and nothing can bring you back. The only thing left is the hope that I have that we will be together again when my time here is over. That day cannot come soon enough, Babygirl. In the meantime, keep playing with Sawyer, Rambo and all of the other furangels you've met, keep chasing butterflies, and keep running free, while you wait for me. I love you Abbey. Every day, forever💜🤍

Apr 14 Dear Abbey, 805 days without you and it still hurts the same today as the day you left. I am so sorry that I took you and your age for granted sweet girl😭 I use to think about how some people died around their birthdates, before or after, but it never occured to me that I would loose you the day before your birthday💔 The way that it all happened haunts me to this day, but most especially it breaks my heart even more to know that you did not have a peaceful death. I remember the look in your eyes and I panicked. I am so, so sorry, Babygirl. You did not deserve to be taken the way you were. I hope that whatever you were feeling, you have forgotten and that you are running free and happy with all of the other Shih Tzus, and with Rambo and Sawyer protecting you. I miss you three and life around here certainly is not the same. I cannot wait until I see you again. I love you. Every day, forever🤍💜

April 21-Day 812 Dear Abbey, Barkley's mama is getting a new companion and she has decided to adopt a Shih Tzu. The one she would like is an 8-year-old boy who has been given up or taken away from the only family he has known. Who does that? I know that if he comes to live with Pam, he will have a really great life...what remains of it. It is bittersweet for me because his face looks like your face with the black mask around his eyes. I know that I should be happy that he gets a second chance and will live in a nice house, but it is hard for me knowing that you are not here. I miss you Baby girl, and I love you always and forever🤍💜 Not a moment goes by that I do not think about you or wish that you were here. I will see you soon, my sweet and beautiful Abigail🧡

April 28-Day 819 Dear Abbey, another week and it all still feels surreal. I miss you, Baby😭 I just do not know what else to do without you💔 Life is cruel and there is so much going on that I just cannot handle it anymore. Ali left 8 months ago because she couldn't take it anymore. I hope that it is all true and that we will be reunited again. I wish you would somehow let me know that you are happy and that you will be with me again because that is what allows me to keep going with all of this misery. I love you Abbey. Every day, forever and always💜

April 29 My dearest Abbey, here we are at 27 months since that dreadful day when I lost you😭💔 I cannot tell you enough how sorry I am that it all went down the way it did. You did not deserve to be yanked from me the way that you were, and it kills me to think that you could have been in pain. You certainly were in distress and for that, I am sorry. For 14 years, 10 months and almost 5 days, I tried my best to protect you and keep you safe always. I would give everything I have to have one more day with you. To have things be different than they were then and the way they are now. That time I had you with me were by far the best years of my life and nothing will ever top that. No one could ever make my life better. So now, I just sit in wait until my life comes to an end, and we will be together forever💞 I miss you, Abbey😭 More than I can ever put into words. I love you💗 Every day, always and forever🤍💜

May 5 Dear Abbey, it's another day (826), another week (118) and a new month in which you are not here. Every day is still difficult to accept that you are gone. It all happened so unexpectedly, and for that I am so very sorry, Babygirl. You deserved better. These days everyone else take up my time and I feel like my life is not my own. I just want to go where you are and just walking with you. Gosh, I miss walking with you, holding and kissing you. I miss everything about you. Our time together were the best years of my life and now everything feels horrible. I love you, Abbey💖 Every day, forever🤍💜

May 12 Dear Babygirl, how is it possible that it is the third Mother's Day weekend without you? It has been 119 weeks and 833 days of sadness and nothing that can be said will ever take the anguish that I feel every day without you. I know that you must be marking your trail everywhere you go in doggy heaven, but I wish it was happening here in our neighborhood.

Barkley's mama has a new companion named Caesar. I hope that Barkley was the one who sent him to her and that he is happy for his mama because she was really sad and said that she needed a companion. I am sad that you are not here, but I just need you, no one else and so therefore, I will wait until we are reunited again. So, for now, have fun with all your fur mates. Please give licks to Sawyer and Rambo for me. I love and miss you, Abbey💗 Every day, always and forever🤍💞💜

May 19-Day 820 Dear Abbey, it has been 120 weeks since I last held you and even though the weeks have come and gone fast, it somehow still feels like I just lost you today. Life is cruel. People are cruel. Life ends in a blink of an eye and when we least expect it. Lacy died last Saturday, but you probably already know that as I am sure you that you, Rambo and Sawyer welcomed her with lots of licks and showed her around Sniffari. Poor baby girl was only 8 years old but her heart was too big for her little body 😥 Another sweet baby gone suddely and unexpectedly, like you. I miss you Abbey girl, and I love you. Every day, forever 🤍💜

May 26-Day 847 I wish you were here, Abbeygirl. It has been 121 weeks of overwhelming sadness. I have felt no greater pain than the moment when your heart stopped beating💔 And mine carried on. The only good thing about today is that I am one more day, one more year, closer to you. I miss you Baby😭 And I love you. Every day, forever 🤍💜

May 29 Another day, another holiday weekend, and another month...making it 28 months without you, sweet Babygirl. Today is a slab day where it feels like there is a concrete slab lying across my chest...that is how much it hurts to not have you with me😭💔 I love you, always and forever💕

Jun 2-Day 854 You were always the best part of my life. Always loved, never forgotten, and forever missed, Babygirl 😭💔

June 9 Dear Abbey, I miss you 😭 I think of you every moment of every day, Babygirl. When I open my eyes in the middle of the night and when I finally wake up in the morning, I think of you. As I get ready for bed and before I close my eyes, I think of you. No matter what I do, I think of you because for the most part, you were always by my side. My shadow, my sidekick, my baby, I think of you all of the time. Life is hard and I am tired. I am tired of sad news all around me. I am tired of being without you💔 I love you, my precious girl. Every day, forever 💜🤍