My Precious Abbey, It has been a week since you were suddenly taken from me on Friday, January 29, just hours from your 15th birthday. The pain and emptiness that I feel seems to get worse with each passing day. I am sorry that you had difficulty breathing in the last moments of your life and that there was nothing that I could do for you. Oh how I wish that we could go back in time. You were the most perfect car companion thru our cross-country travels and were always by my side when we were home. You gave me a reason to get out of bed and go for walks. I would rush home when I was out just to be with you. These days I do not leave the house much because it is too painful to return and you are not there to greet me. You are/were my world! |
We first met on March 19, 2006 and you came home to us on March 24, 2006. I can still see your frightened sweet and tiny face looking up at me, not knowing who I was. I had no idea what to do with you as I had never had a dog before but you made it easy for me to learn quickly. You were just perfect from day one. You were my world, my life and my one and only furry baby. You were loved by everyone that we met on our daily walks from KS to TX and because of you I met our neighbors in the three homes we shared. Thank you my sweet, precious baby girl for almost 15 years of pure joy, companionship, unconditional love, loyalty, wet kisses, and all that you brought into my life. YOU ARE IRREPLACEABLE and I am lost without you. I hope that you have reunited with Suzie Woo and that you have introduced her to Rambo and Sawyer as you navigate thru your new surroundings. You are missed every second of the day and I cannot wait until we reunite forever in eternity! Love, mama
Feb 10- Oh baby girl, it's been difficulty to be without you. It's a cold day in Frisco but I wish you were here so that we could go for our walk.
Feb 12- My precious baby girl, today marks two weeks since you left me and I miss you immensely. I hope that you are not sad that I am not there with you. I pray that you like your new surroundings and that you are playing and running freely with SuzieWoo, Sawyer, Rambo, Sophie and all the other furry angels. I Love you baby girl! :-(
Feb 16- Another difficult day without you, my precious baby girl :-(
Feb 19- Today marks three weeks since you left me, baby. Fridays between now and 2 pm are extremely difficult as I cannot stop recalling those last moments of panic on my part. I know in my heart that I had to let you go as your quality of life would not have been a good one. It is just difficult to accept because of the normal morning that we had enjoyed. You seemed so healthy and happy. I am so sorry if I let you down, my precious baby girl. Yesterday Penelope lost her battle with neuroblastoma. At only 32 months old, she never did get to have a puppy. I pray that she is in your company along with all the other furangels, and many other children that were taken too soon. My sweet baby girl, my grief for you runs as deep as my love, and I cannot wait until our happy reunion!
Feb 24- I am so sorry my Sweet Baby Girl! I miss you so much.
Feb 26- My Precious Baby Girl, today marks four weeks since you left and it has not gotten any easier. I keep replaying that dreadful afternoon in my head and I'm having a difficult time accepting that it was obviously your time to go on Jan 29, 2021 and that our time together here on earth had come to an end. Oh, how I wish that was not so. I LOVE and MISS you immensely. Not a second goes by that you are not on my mind. You are my life, my world, and things are just not the same without you by my side. THANK YOU my Sweet Abbey, for always being my JOY, my SHADOW, my COMPANION, my reason for getting up every morning to walk even when I did not want to go and for LOVING me even when I was unlovable. I am sorry for the times that I rushed our walking time together and I am sorry if you were in any pain or discomfort and I just did not know it. You seemed so perfect and healthy but I should have known that at your age, you were fragile. My heart hurts immensely and longs for you to be here. The loneliness is difficult to scape because no one or nothing can fill the void that you have left in my life.
February 28- My Precious Abbey today marks Day 30 without you. You are completely irreplaceable and there are no words that can capture what your loss has done to me. Words are just inadequate and I will never ever be the same without you my Babygirl. I posted a video on FB of you and Suzie Woo chasing each other back in Olathe on 09/09/09. This is how I envision you and her, along with Sawyer, Rambo, Lilly, and all other furangels spending your time while you patiently wait for me. I LOVE and miss you immensely!
Mar 1 -Day 31- I LOVE and MISS you so much, my precious Baby Girl!
Mar 7-Day 37 I LOVE and MISS you baby girl, and I cannot wait until I see you again!
Mar 12-Day 42 Six weeks today since you left me and I am having one of those horrible days. But then again, every day since you left has been a horrible day. I am trying really hard to honor you by not being sad but it is difficult because it was you who made me smile every day. You were my reason for getting on with my days. I will never forget how lucky I am that you, my precious Abbey, happened to be a part of my life. You owned me, Baby, and it is so difficult to be without you. I will never forget the impact that you had in my life! I am looking forward until the day we reunite but for now, Precious Girl, play happily with your new friends and remember me always. We have a special love like no other!
Mar 14-Day 44 Baby Girl, I miss you so much that it hurts badly! The day you left me broke me and nothing has been the same since. You were my first and only furbaby that I love. I am not even sure how to live without you. Love you forever, my precious Abbey!
Mar 19-Day 49 My sweet Abbey, I miss you so much Baby. My heart is shattered and the pain is intense still. Today marks seven weeks since that tragic day that you gained your furangel wings. It was 15 years ago today, (a Sunday) that we met for the first time and you chose me as your mama so I am trying to focus on the joy and good memories rather than the horrific day that you were taken from me. You were so tiny and precious and by far the best gift that Daddy has ever given me. I would give back the diamonds, house, car, and every other gift to have you back with me forever. Also, one year ago today, we woke up to a blizzard in Denver (on what was to be our last girls road trip, unbeknownst to me) and you had so much fun playing in the wet snow. I am happy that I let you run in the icy puddle instead of fussing over you getting wet and dirty. A memory, like many others, that I treasure in my heart. So Precious Girl, my hope is that you are sleeping peacefully and playing happily with all of the other furangels, until we reunite. I hate to think that you would be sad and missing me as much as I am missing you but hopefully you are having fun with your nephews, Rambo & Sawyer, your old furbuddy SuzieWoo, and your new friend Lilly Lop as well as the many other furangels that you have met by now. Thank you Baby for choosing me all those years ago and for the joy and happiness you gave me during our time together. Loving you changed me and losing you did the same. And one thing is for sure...YOU are always with me, my sweet precious Abbey! I love you!
Mar 24-Day 54 Good morning Baby, Fifteen years ago today you became part of my family when we picked you up. I can still remember your tiny little face looking up at me, wondering who I was. I fell instantly in love with you! You were perfect for me. I will never forget your unconditional love, your loyalty, your sweet nature, but most importantly, I will never forget the WHOLE you! YOU made me a better person. YOU left an indelible mark on my soul and took part of my heart the day you left me, and I cry for you every single day. We should be celebrating 15 years together but instead my heart is broken by your absence. You are forever in my heart, sweet Abbey. I love you!
Today would also have been the day that you, Sawyer, & Rambo would have had filet mignon for dinner to celebrate Rambo's birthday. He has now had more birthdays at Rainbowbridge than here with us because he left us at such a young age. Now he has you and Sawyer, along with Lilly Lop, Suzie Woo, and many other furangels that are waiting by the Bridge, helping him to celebrate. Happy birthday RAMBO! I love and miss you all so much, my furangels! Hugs and kisses!
Mar 26-Day 56 Another week has gone by and every day is an uphill battle to survive without you, my sweet Abbey. Remembering you is easy but missing you is a heartache that never goes away. I love you Princess!
Mar 29-Day 59 I miss your beautiful face and everything about you, my sweet baby girl. My life was better with you in it.
Mar 30-Day 60 Good morning Baby, I wish you were here so that I could feel your warm little body as I hug you. I miss your big beautiful eyes and how you would flip your soft ears. Many think that you were just a dog but you were more than that in my life, and what hurts the most is that I had no time to prepare you to say our goodbyes. You were just yanked out of my life with no warning which has made losing you so much more difficult. I love you my precious Abbey!
Apr 2-Day 63 Nine weeks Baby. Your absence and grief hits me like a ton of bricks every second of every day. It hurts so much because your life was abruptly ended. Why? You never did anything wrong. You were never just a dog- you were my life, my constant. With you here, I knew what my day was going to look like because you were my priority and you made sure that I got out of bed even in the worst days. You made sure that we walked every day, at least twice a day, no matter how cold or hot it was. I miss our walks Baby. You were the reason we knew so many of our neighbors because you gave me the confidence to introduce ourselves to strangers even if they seemed grumpy. I miss giving you baths to make you look and smell prettier. I miss brushing your hair and putting bows in it even though you would find a way to remove them within the hour. I miss your kisses and how you would stare at me with your loving big brown eyes. I miss the pitter-patter of your paws as you entertained yourself with the plastic container in the corner of the closet. It is amazing that even though you could not speak, with you here, the house never felt as quiet as it does now. It is so hard living without you. Thank you Baby, for your unfailing love and for being my constant companion for almost 15 years. Selfishly, I was hoping for more time together but it was not meant to be so now I must wait until it is time for me to join you in eternity. I LOVE and MISS you immensely, my precious Baby!
Apr 4-Day 65 Happy Easter Baby Girl. Thank you for being forever faithfully! I LOVE and miss you very much Princess!
Apr 9-Day 70 Ten weeks without you and I am still drowning in grief. It has been a very difficult week (actually this whole time) because it is so hard to live without you, my Love. I pray that you are happy and well, and are having a great time sniffing your way around. Please do not be sad that I am not with you, as only I can be sad for the two of us. You can be certain that the first thing that I will do when I get to Heaven is to grab you and never let you go. I LOVE and miss you always, Baby!
Apr 13-Day 74 I miss you Baby! It hurts so much to not have you here with me.
Apr 16-Day 77 Another day and another week (11) without you my precious baby girl. Time passes but not a minute or day goes by that you are not in my thoughts and heart. Eleven Fridays ago, when you died, was not just a date on a calendar...it was the day that my life changed forever. Oh, baby, how I wish you were here. I would give away all of my tomorrows to be with you again. I loved you then, I love now, and I will love you for all eternity!
Apr 18-Day 79 I miss and love you so much my precious baby girl!
Apr 23-Day 84 Another week without you, my beloved Angel, and the pain of losing you is still excruciating. My heart aches immensely. I miss your sweet and beautiful face every minute of every day. I miss our play time together when you would get feisty and nibble on my arm, growling and barking to show me that you were the BOSS. I see you in every room and wish that I could pick you up and hug you one more time while I whisper in your ears how much I love you. These last 12 weeks without you have been the most difficult weeks of my life. Nothing will ever be the same as it was with you in my life. Some people say I will be okay in time, but I do not believe it; not without you.
In the meantime, while we both wait to be reunited so we can play again forevermore, I hope that you are happy as you navigate your new home alongside Sawyer, Rambo, Suzie, Lilly, and the many other furangels that are waiting for their mommy and daddy. I love you my Angel. You are forever nestled in my heart!
Apr 29-Day 90 Hi baby, my faithful companion and forever furry four-legged friend. Another day and another month without you. Your life was full of love and you gave it all to me. Thank you Princess! You always walked beside me wherever we went and now I walk alone. I miss not having you to hold and kiss. You always looked for me whenever you did not see me and would find me. I miss seeing the happy look in your eyes that you would give me when you would find me. You were smart, patient, sweet, lovable, and gave the best kisses ever. You loved riding in the car with the window rolled down to catch the wind in your face. You loved to say hi to every one that we met on our walks. Your favorite thing to do was to go on walks and to sunbathe in our yard or inside by the windows. You also loved going to the pet store to sniff all the kibble bags that were down below at your level even though you did not like to eat them. You were a very picky eater but when you found something you liked, you ate it all. I now only have the wonderful memories that we made together but I still feel alone because you are not here. No one could ever replace you, my precious baby.
Apr 30-Day 91 Hi Princess! Another day and another week without you and it hurts my heart immensely. Tomorrow I will turn the calendar for the fourth time since you have been gone. May is not going to be easy month to get through without you and my hope is that it flies as quickly as the last three months have flown by as it puts me closer to our reunion, whenever that may be. It is not fair that you are not here with me. Today I received flowers from Janelle and she wrote that you were our special girl. Yes, you sure were and still are our very special (and only) girl. You are missed more than you will ever know. I would give everything that I have to be with you, my precious Abbey. For now, run, jump, play, sleep, and enjoy your time with Rambo, Sawyer, Lilly, Suzie Woo, and Babie J as well as the many other furangels that have joined you at the Bridge. I love and miss you Princess. Muah!
May 5-Day 96 I Love and miss you Princess!
May 7-Day 98 Another week since you've been gone. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime but most times it feels like my heart is breaking all over again. Baby, YOU made my life worthwhile with your love, your trust, and with the way you lit up when we were together. You are still my world and YOU still occupy every bit of my heart. Losing you is killing me, my sweet baby, but I would not have missed loving you for the world nor would I trade a single memory of you for it. I would, however, trade everything to have you back because you mean so much to me - always have and always will. Oh Abbey, what I wouldn't do to get a second chance with you all over again. My hope is that your youth has been restored and that you are running around with Suzie, Lilly, Sawyer & Rambo, just having a grand old time while you wait for me. I am sure that you have found a warm sunny spot to sunbathe along with the boys like the three of you used to do here. I miss you more and more every day. You are forever my love, sweet
May 14-Day 105 Good morning Princess. Today marks 15 weeks that we had our last morning together before you were abruptly taken from me. Oh, how I wish that we could go back in time. I miss you immensely, my sweet baby girl, and not a moment goes by that I do not think of you. It has been the privilege of my life to have had you love me for 14 years, 10 months and 5 days. I hope that you know how much I love and cherish you, my little angel. You are and always will be the best part of my life. Life just is not the same without you and I cannot wait until I can scoop you right up into my arms again. I love you and miss you so much, my sweet Abbey.
May15-Day 106 I miss you my angel. I miss us.
May 20-Day 111 Baby, in losing you, I lost my primary companion and I lost myself. You loved me unconditionally as I did you. You were my security, my comfort, and my happiness. Your loss and absence in our home has dramatically changed my daily life. You left an emptiness in me that no one or anything could ever fill. I miss our walks, our times in the yard and our car rides. I miss having you next to me in bed and on the couch. I miss shopping for you and making your food. I miss holding you, bathing you, and brushing your hair. I miss your kisses and you barking at us to get our attention. I miss all of you and everything about you. You were alive on earth one day shy of 180 months and you were mine for 178 months. I hope that I do not have to wait that long until I can hold you in my arms again and get your sweet kisses all over my face. Today you are the Angel of the Day on a FB page BUT you are my Angel of the Day every day, my precious girl. I miss you so much Baby, and I cannot wait to be with you in eternity. The pain of being without you is unbearable and I will try to not let your loss destroy the wonderful memories that I have of you. I LOVE you, my precious Abbey.
May 21-Day 112 Oh my precious Abbey, for a fraction of a second, it does not seem possible that you have been gone 16 weeks, but then I look around and reality hits. It has been 16 weeks of tears, heartbreak, sadness, anger, loneliness, and sleepless nights. I miss you Baby. You took a big chunk of my heart with you when you left me and all I have are the memories that sometimes get overshadowed by the heartache. I know that you are in a better place now and my hope is that you are with Sawyer, Rambo, Lilly and Suzie, having a wonderful time together with the many other fur angels in your company. You were always a very patient little girl and I know that you are patiently waiting for me. Hopefully, Baby, I will see you very soon. I LOVE you Sweetheart!
May 28-Day 119 It has been 17 weeks since we were torn apart, my sweet Baby! Some days are harder than the last. Some days go slow and some go fast but every single day hurts my heart even more. There really is no escape from the pain and I know that I have to learn to turn this pain into gratitude for the time that I had you. All I have now are the wonderful memories we made together, which I dearly treasure, my precious girl. I know that you are patiently waiting until the time that we meet again. Until then, play joyfully with the boys, Rambo and Sawyer, as well as Suzie and Lilly. You all are dearly missed. I miss you immensely sweetheart, but I love you even more!
May 29-Day 120 My dearest Babygail, I miss you so much Sweetheart! How can it already be 4 months since we were torn apart? The hurt in my heart is worse than ever and I want nothing more than to have you by my side, my sweet Babygirl. Everybody says that you are with me always but it is not the same as having you physically here with me. I want to scoop you up, hug and kiss you, and never ever let you go, my Princess. My hope and prayer is that you are not sad like I am. I want you to play, sleep and enjoy your time with the boys and Suzie. I am sure that Lilly has introduced you to her sister, Sandy, and that together you are all running and having fun at the Rainbow Bridge until it is time for us to be together again. I love you my sweet Princess!
Jun 4 Day 126 My dear Abbey, here I am, 18 weeks since you left and I am still in disbelief that you were taken from me so abruptly. Why your passing happened the way it happened, I will never understand. You did not deserve to be torn away from me the way that you were. I think about our time that morning and how you ran down the driveway, excited to be out in the cold weather. You loved it. I regret that for a second I thought about recording what would have been your last walk as a 14-year-old but instead I decided that I would wait until our evening walk, but little did I know that it was not to be. How I wish that I could turn back time. To say that our house and my heart feels a gargantuan void and sadness is an understatement. You were mama's girl and you gave my life meaning. My beautiful, smart, sweet, affectionate, funny, soft, cuddly girl and just a joy to have in my life. I feel honored that you chose me to love. When I brought you home in 2006, I made a commitment to you that you would be my first priority and I hope that you knew and felt that you were during our 178 months together. I have been told that I was an exceptional dog mom, that you were loved and had a great life. The truth is that you were the one who was EXCEPTIONAL, who loved me unconditionally and made my life better during your short life. You were my EXTRAORDINARY girl and the light in my life. I miss you more than anyone could possible know, Sweetheart. I love you and I will never stop saying it. I will always say your name and continue to post your photos for people to know that YOU are still an important part of my life. I carry you and the memories that you left me with in my heart forever.
June 11 Oh my Precious Girl, Casa de Abbey has not been the same since you left 19 weeks ago. The weeks come around quickly and yet it still does not seem possible that you have been gone 133 days. There are no more words to describe how much I miss you and how much my heart hurts. We had a wonderful life together and I was not ready to let you go. You filled my world with love and joy, and your absence has left me empty. I am trying to navigate thru without you but it isn't always easy as the heartache and tears have become a part of my life. Baby, my hope is that you are happy and that you are back to your youthful years, running and living it up together with Rambo and Sawyer. I love and miss them as well. I have loved you from the moment that you chose me as your mama and I will continue to love you until the day we see each other D again, and beyond! You are forever my only girl!
June 18 Day 140 It is 20 weeks today that my world changed forever, and not in a good way. Losing you has been the worse thing that has ever happened to me. I miss your beautiful and sweet face, Baby. I was always amazed at how you would just sit or lay next to me, staring at me with your loving eyes. Oh Sweety, so many regrets and wishing that I had known then what I know now. Looking back, it was a good thing that we had a pandemic during your last year with me which kept me home more often than usual as I did not leave you to go do stupid quilt stuff. Oh Baby, I hope that you are not sad that we are not together. I know that you have more patience than I do and so I am hoping that this time of separation will be like a "blink of an eye" for you. You are all that matters. I will never get tired of thinking about you. I miss you more than anyone can imagine, but I love you more, my sweet Babygirl! 😘❤️