Jan 30-Day 366 My dearest Abbey, Happy Sweet 16th Birthday, Baby🎀 You've been gone 365 full days and today you are spending your second birth day at Rainbow Bridge, apart from me😭|
I hope that you are happy and that you do not have any memory of what happened about half a day before your 15th birthday. Sixteen years ago, you came into this world and shortly thereafter, we got a call that you were born (in Severy, KS) and so we patiently waited for you to be 8 weeks old to come live with us. We met you and you chose me the day before you were 7 weeks old.
Your fur parents were Hao Hun Yun (black & white) and Ker Al (brindle, white). I remember sitting on the floor with you and many other fur puppies as I tried to decide which one was going to be my companion. But YOU, my sweet Baby, made that decision - you had decided that you wanted me to be your human mama. It was you who kept coming back to me to snuggle on my lap every time I put you down. After a few times of going back and forth, daddy said that YOU had to be the ONE because you wouldn't leave my side and for almost 15 years you stayed right by my side.
I wish I had more information about your first 8 weeks of life, like what time were you born, how much you weighed at birth, what was your birth order, exactly how many siblings you had. I think that you were 1 of 6 babies born on Jan 30 but I am not sure if you had siblings born before or after you. I also wish that I where your siblings went after you were separated from them and your parents on March 24 and are your fur parents and some or all your siblings with you at Rainbow Bridge?
Today is another very HARD day. I wish that I was with you to help celebrate your sweet 16. I wonder what you are doing now...are you alone curled up in a corner sleeping or are you running and playing with your fur family and your new Rainbow Bridge fur family? Are you happy? Did you and all the fur babies that are celebrating a birthday today have a special dinner and a fabulous celebration? I like to think that you are happy, walking, jumping and running like you did when you were a tiny puppy. I hated to watch you sleep most of the day and watching you walk slow as you got older. A few years ago, I began to hate the month of January because it meant that you were one year older. Now I hate January for other reasons, but then again, I have hated every day since you've been gone, and I will continue to hate every day until we are together again. If I may be allowed to make one wish on your birthday, it would be that I could fast forward my time on earth so that I could see you and hold you again.
So today, as I think about how you came to be my faithful companion, I am grateful for the remarkable, smart, sassy, loyal, and beautiful companion you were in my life. Thank you for your love and for always wanting to be with me. I remember your birthdays, in particular the last birthday that you had here on earth on January 30, 2020. I am glad that I took pictures and a video to mark your 14th birthday as that was the last time that I got to celebrate the date of your birth with you.
Abbey, I hope that you know how much I loved you then, how much I love you still, and how much I will continue to love you because my love and devotion to you have no end. The only one good thing about how quickly time passes is that I am one tear, one breath, one heartbeat, and one day closer to you. I love and miss you Baby Girl💔 Every day, forever🤍
Feb 4-Day 371 Dear Abbey, it was 53 weeks ago today that at approximately 12:08pm, you were walking around in the backyard and by 2:08pm I was holding your lifeless body in my arms. It all still feels surreal at times but I know that it is real because you are not here with me anymore. You life ended but my love for you has not and everyday I wish that somehow I could just go where you are to hold and kiss you again. Thank you for almost 5,425 days of unconditional love and companionship 💜 I love and miss you so much, my sweet Baby Girl. Every day, forever🤍
Feb 11-Day 378 Hi Baby, yesterday I peeled the label from an Rx bottle but I did it very quietly as I couldn't bear to hear the sound that it makes when it gets peeled off quickly. The memory of watching you waiting for me to give you the bottle was and will always be a very beautiful memory. It warmed my heart to know that simple things like an Rx bottle brought you minutes of play even though you had baskets full of toys. It is memories like that one that bring me to tears now that you are not here but I am happy to have them. I miss you so much, Baby. I miss your eyes. I miss your breath. I miss your kisses. I miss your quiet snores. I miss EVERYTHING about you 😥
Feb 14-Day 380 I love you Abbey ❤️
Feb 18-Day 385 My dearest Abbey, it's 55 weeks without you, my little sidekick, and I miss you more than I can put into words😭 Some days are still tougher than others but I continue to have hope that I will see you again...hopefully, sooner rather than later and in a blink of an eye. Today I want to thank you for changing my life and for being the missing piece for the entirety of yours. I cannot thank you enough for loving me and for the endless cuddles and kisses you were always willing to give me. You are the best four-legged furry human soul that I had been entrusted with. You are irreplaceable! I love you my sweet and beautiful Babygirl🥰 Every day, forever 💜 Mama
Feb 25-Day 392 I miss you Abbey...every minute of every day and no amount of time will ever change that💔 We are are told that grief has to look a very specific way and that it should only last for a very specific amount of time but I do not subscribe to that. At 56 weeks, my heart is still filled with immeasurable sadness and my eyes still fill with tears at any given moment. No one around me will ever understand what losing you has done to me and how much I long to see you and hold you in my arms again. I love you Babygirl 🥰 Every day, forever 🤍
Mar 1-Day 396 13 long months without you, sweet girl. Life is different now but I hope that you are doing well and are having fun in the beautiful meadows at the Bridge. I cannot wait to be with you again. I miss you😭 I love you💖 I wish you were here with me💔 Every day, forever🤍
Mar 4-Day 399 Dear Abbey, 57 weeks/Fridays since you left my side and in your absence, I stand alone. And I have learned that I always will. Most days are still very hard. EVERY DAY my mind always finds its way back to you and most times I can smile because you were real, you were here, and your love was pure. You were absolutely the most perfect little girl and I wish that you were still here. I love and miss you sweet Baby girl💜 Every day, forever🤍
Mar 11-Week 58 Dear Abbey, I think about you every single day 😭 406 days. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Mar 18-Day 413 Dear Abbey, tomorrow is the 16-year anniversary of the day that you chose me as your mama. I remember sitting on the floor and picking you up but when I put you down, she came back to me. The other puppies went along on their way, but you kept coming back to me and then stayed on my lap. I then heard Daddy say that it seemed that YOU were the ONE🥰 YOU wanted me. What a privilege and honor of my life it was to have spent 775 weeks and almost 1 day with you physically here. Those have been by far the best weeks of my life💜 Today marks 59 weeks since you unexpectedly left my side but I hope that I will not have to wait more weeks without you then with you before I can hold you again.
You were here. You were mine and I was yours. Thank you Sweetheart, for your unconditional love and loyalty. You are all I think about. Through everything that I do, I see you. ALL THE TIME. You will never be forgotten as long as I breathe. I miss you my Sweet Abbey😭 I love you. Every day, forever🤍
Mar 19 Dear Abbey, thank you for choosing me 16 years ago today and for the bright days you gave me for 775 weeks. You are always loved, never forgotten, and forever missed, Baby. Every day, forever🤍🖤
Mar 24, 2006 was the day that you came home to live with us. Oh Sweet Girl, how missed you are😭 I love you💖 Every day, forever🤍
Mar 25-Day 420 Dear Abbey, how is it possible that its been 60 weeks? But here I am and the painful reality of grief is knowing that you are never coming back💔 I love and miss you so much, Sweet Girl. Every day, forever🤍
Mar 29 Dear Abbey, every passing day takes me further away from you💔 Further from that moment that I held you for the last time. Fourteen months, Baby...14 long months and the pain of losing you is still constant. Every day moves me further away from the last morning that I cared for you...from our last walk together that you seemed to enjoy so much. I miss you Abbey😭 I love you...love you so much! Every day, forever🤍 Mama
Apr 1-Day 427 Dear Abbey, I miss you soooo much, Baby😭 I love you💜 Every day, forever🖤 Mama
Apr 8-Day Day 434 Dear Abbey, it still feels impossible that you were taken from me 62 weeks ago but unfortunately that is my reality😭 There's not a day goes by that I don't think about you or wish that I could hold you again. I heard a song today that describes how I feel every day when I think about our last Friday morning together. It starts with these words..."If I had only known the last time would be the last time. I would've put off all the things I had to do. I would've stayed a little longer, held on a little tighter. Now what I'd give for one more day with you..."
I'd give up everything that I have and more for one more day with you, but until I'm standing with you again, YOU will continue to live on in all the better parts of me, my sweet Babygirl👼 I miss you so much and I love you always💗 Every day, forever🤍 Mama
Apr 15-Week 63 Dear Abbey, four hundred and forty one days. That's how long it's been since I saw you. Since I held you. Since I watched you go. Since I had to say, "Abbey died", for the first time. Sixty three weeks since nothing has been the same. Nothing about this life has felt the same or looked the same, or been the same. Not since the moment we were torn apart💔🖤 Every day and every night this week has been difficult to want to move forward because I am broken without you😭 I miss you every moment of my day, my sweet Babygirl. I love you. Every day, forever🤍 Mama
Apr 17-Day 443 Happy Easter, Abbey. I miss you soooo much and wish that you were here with me, precious Babygirl🎀 I love you. Every day, forever💜
Apr 22-Day 448 My sweet Babygirl, I wish you were here. Or I was there. Or we were together anywhere. I love you and miss you so much, sweet Abbey 💜 Every day, forever🤍 Mama
Apr 29 Dear Abbey, 15 long months, 65 long weeks and 455 long days...that is how much time I have spent without you. The missing you has not stopped. Every day, I wake up with tears in my eyes and wishing that you were sleeping next to me. Not a day goes by that I am not thinking about you. Thinking about my favorite memories of you, about the things you did, or thinking about what you would be like today. You are always on mind, Abbey🐾 I don't ever want that to go away...
May 6-Day 462 Another day, another week, and a new month without you, my sweet and beautiful Abbey💗 Each morning, for 461 days, I have woken up to the complexities and pain of grief, and to my new reality - that you have been gone 66 weeks ago. Nothing has been the same since the moment that your heart stopped and mine broke into a gazillion pieces. Simply put...Life sucks without you, Sweetheart. I miss you every second of every day as I spend my days remembering you always. I love you, Baby girl. Every day, forever🤍 Mama
May 8 Really missing you on this, my second Mother's Day without you, my sweet Abbey. It's been far too long without you. I love you so much Sweetheart. Every day, forever🖤 Mama💔
May 13-Day 469 Not a moment goes by that you are not in my thoughts, my sweet Abbey. Each day, as I move farther away from the last time that we were together, I miss you a little bit more. It may seem like I have survived these last 67 weeks without you, but the reality is that I still struggle every day. Losing you so suddenly and unexpectedly has been the worst thing that has happened to me. The grief is heavy and the pain hurts my heart. It is unimaginable heartache. Every day, I live with an overwhelming sadness that will be with me until I see you again. Until then, I will continue keep your memories with me always. I love and miss you, Baby. Every day, forever🤍 Mama🖤
Day 474 I miss you Abbey 😥
May 20-Day 476 Dear Abbey, this life without you is hard. And sad. And incredibly painful. It is filled with disappointments. You never disappointed. You brought me joy each and every day. You made me want to do things and made me a better person. You were the greatest part of me. I miss you as much as I love you, my precious girl. Every day, forever 🤍 Mama
May 27-Day 483 Dear Abbey, another day, another week, and another birthday spent without you. Birthdays will never be the same because life is different now. I am different. I feel trapped and isolated without you by my side. I love and miss you Sweetheart💗 Every day, forever🤍
May 29 Abbey, my beautiful, special and sweet girl. 16 long months without you💔 How is that possible? This weekend also marks the beginning of the second summer without you and I miss you terribly.
Jun 3-Day 490 and 70 long weeks since you left, my sweet Babygirl. Every day I close my eyes and wish that when I open them, you'd be right here next to me, looking at me with your big beautiful eyes, but you are not. It is still all too painful to think about the way you were snatched from me. I am sorry that I could not save you and that I did not know to be able to tell you that it was okay and that "mama will be back". I will never recover from that.
Jun 10-Day 497 My sweet Babygirl, here I am at 71 weeks since that dreadful day that you were taken from me. I look at your photos to keep you close to me every day, and as I searched today's date, pictures of you and Suzie Woo popped up. It was 11 years ago that Suzie and her family came to visit from KS. It was also the last time that we would see Suzie in person. Life happened and we never got to visit with them again. And then I got the sad news that Suzie had crossed the Rainbow Bridge before Xmas and 39 days later, you followed. Never did I imagine that you two would go to the Bridge so close together. I think that Suzie wanted you by her side😥
Jun 17-Day 504 It still does not seem possible that I lost you 72 weeks ago today, my sweet Abbey💜 Life has no meaning anymore. I am an empty shell without you. I'm functioning but I'm not here as I'm in never-ending darkness I miss you, more than I could ever put into words, little girl😭 I love you💖 Every day, forever🤍
Jun 24-Day 511 Dear Abbey, you gave my life joy. You made this house a home. You made things better and brighter every day. You were here. You were real. But now you are just a memory of a life we had together. Not quite 15 years together but by far the best years of my life. Every day I ask myself "what's the point" now? Every day I miss you more😭 And every day I think about you always and wish that this was all a nightmare. I love you, my sweet little girl💖 Every day, always and forever🤍
Jun 29 my dearest Abbey, it's been 17 months of a life without any sunshine, warmth or joy in my heart. Life doesn't matter anymore without you here😢I miss you. I miss us💔 I love you. Every day, forever 🤍♾
Jul 1-Day 518 Abbey, my life was better when you were here😭 I love my little girl. Every day, forever🖤
Jul 8-Day 525 Dear Abbey, I was extremely blessed for having had you in my life💖. Today is 75 weeks and life just isn't the same without you here😭 Thank you for loving me and for being the greatest part of my life. I love and miss you, Sweetheart. Every day, forever 🤍💜🖤
Jul 15 Dear Abbey, another day and another week of living without you. Not a moment goes by that I do not miss you. At 76 weeks and 532 days without you, I still struggle with getting up every morning and you are not here. I miss you, Sweetheart, and wish that you were here with me but I know that you had to go. When I see other dogs with cloudy eyes, blind, or just visibly sick, it breaks my heart and I try to be thankful that you did not get to that point. But my heart breaks even more when I look at your last few pictures and see how beautiful your eyes still were and I was not aware that you were breaking in the inside. That thought haunts me often😭 How did I not know?
Barkley has gotten sick since you left and he cannot see now. He is skin and bones and will probably be joining you soon. My heart aches for his mama but in his case, I know it is what will be best for him. Our days certainly are not the same anymore.
Abbey, my love for you will never end and I cannot wait until you greet me at the Bridge and give me the wettest tongue licks ever and we resume our walks. Until then, I want you to enjoy paradise and the sunshine with Rambo, Sawyer, Suzie Woo, Babie J and Homer Bear. I will see you again Babygirl. Mama loves you. Every day, forever 🤍♾
July 22-Day 539/Week 77 Dear Abbey, you always linger in my mind. You will always be the other half of my soul. And you will always be the deepest scar on my heart💔 ALWAYS🤍 I love and miss you, Babygirl. Every day, forever🖤♾
July 29 Dear Abbey, here I am at month 18, week 78, and day 546 without you. I may have survived this time and will continue to survive this life without you, but the pain of living without you lives on inside of me, every second of every day. I have no more words to describe how much I miss you and wish that you were here. I just miss you😥 I just wish you were here💔 And never a day will come that I don't. I love you. Every day, forever💜
July 30-Day 547 I love you Abbey💗
Aug 2-Day 550 "The hardest walk is walking alone"💔 Oh gosh, do I know this all too well. I miss you, my sweet girl😢 I love you always and forever🤍
Aug 5-Day 553 Dear Abbey, I miss the sound of your bark, the sound of your paws walking around the house, the sound of your quiet snores while you slept and the sounds you would make when you were dreaming😢💔 Wherever you are, I hope that you are happy and not missing me at all...I hate the thought of you being sad without me. And wherever you are, I hope that you are with Rambo, Sawyer, Suzie Woo, Babie J, and Homer Bear...all chasing rainbows together. I love you Babygirl😘 Every day, forever🤍♾
Aug 12-Day 560 Dear Abbey, 80 weeks without you feels like a lifetime. I wish you were here with me now as I face some challenges that I never saw coming. Once again, I have been blindsided just like I was blindsided the day you were taken from me unexpectedly. Thank you for visiting me in a dream early yesterday morning. Holding and hugging you felt so real and I hated that I woke up. I saw Barkley today and he is not doing well. He will probably be joining you soon and together you can chase rainbows. Not a day goes by that I do not think of you or a night that passes that I wish for you to be laying next to me. You will always be my one and only true love, Babygirl💖 I miss you and love you. Every day, always and forever🖤
Aug 19-Day 567 Dear Abbey, at times, it is still hard to believe that you are not here and are never coming back. The shock of your absence only seems to be intensifying. Losing you will never make sense to my broken heart💔 I miss you sweet girl, and I love you so very much. Every day, forever🤍
Aug 26-Day 574 Dear Abbey, it's been 82 weeks since you left and I haven't stopped missing and loving you since then💔 This journey without you is just as lonely and sad as ever. Life is hard and a lot of things don't make sense but I have to carry on without you as I am faced with more challenges. Though nothing can ever compare to the heartbreak of losing you. I still miss you. Today and every day, I still miss you. I love you. Every day, forever🤍
Aug 29- Dear Abbey, 19 months ago you left me and this world behind😭 I know that you are eternally safe and happy at the Bridge with Rambo, Sawyer and all the other fur angels, but it does not lessen the extreme sadness that I feel each morning when I open my eyes to face another day without you by my side. Continue to chase butterflies and rest easy until we are together again, Babygirl. I miss you and I love you. Every day, forever🤍
Sep 2-Day 581 Dear Abbey 83 weeks of missing you and wishing that you were here. This week has been a difficult week but I know that you are with me wherever I may me. I wish you were here for the snuggles and kisses that only you gave best. I love you, Babygirl😢 I miss you. Every day, forever 🤍
Sep 9-Day 588 Always and forever in my heart, Babygirl💜 May you be running happily with Suzie Woo and Babie J and surrounded by angels in paradise, my sweet Angel Abbey. I miss you and love you. Every day, forever🤍
Sep 16-Day 595 My dearest Abbey, the ache in my heart is always there. It is a reminder of all that was, all that happened on the day that I lost you, and all that will never be because you are not here. I miss you, Sweetheart, and I never stop thinking about you or wishing that you were still here by my side as you always were😭💔 I love you, Baby. Every day, forever🤍
Sep 23-Day 602 Dear Abbey, It has been another 100 days since you left me, making that 602 days since your heart stopped. Oh Baby, what I wouldn't do to have one more "life" with you. Missing you, thinking about you and wishing that you were still here consume my days. I was not ready to let you go, not that I ever would have been, but the way it happened was cruel and not fair to you💔 You did not deserve to have it happen the way that it did.
My hope is that you are happily chasing butterflies and resting in your new surroundings along with all your new fur buddies. I miss you and I miss Rambo and Sawyer😭 I know that they are looking after you as they always did when we were all together. I love you, Babygirl💜 Every day, forever🤍
Sep 29 Dear Abbey, 20 months of wondering if you are okay, if you miss me like I miss you, or if you are happy or sad. 20 months of holding and kissing your urn instead of holding and kissing you. 20 months of living life without and wondering if this is all there is. Time has not healed my broken heart and I believe that it never will. I love and miss you, my sweet Babygirl😭 Every day, forever💕
Sep 30-Day 609 Dear Abbey, you were my ray of sunshine. You were perfect and spunky, and so full of life. I think about you every day, Babygirl.
Today I come with a much heavier heart, Baby. Barkley will be joining you at the Bridge in less than a few hours. He got sick shortly after you left us and his mama is making the difficult decision of letting him go to where you are. I think that you went there 20 months before him to welcome him when he arrives. I am sure that he will run to his daddy first and then find you so that you two can walk thru the beautiful meadows together. I know that you will help him find his way and show him all of the best sniffing spots that you have found.
My heart continues to hurt every day because life as we knew it 610 days ago is not the same. I am going to go see Barkley one more time and tell him to give you a few licks for me. I already miss him😢 I love and miss you, Sweet Girl. Every day, forever🤍
Oct 7-Day 616 Dear Abbey, I am still sad that Barkley had to leave his mama. I know that you welcomed him with excitement and hopefully he did not forget to give you the licks that I asked him to give you.
My world came crushing down around me 88 weeks ago. My heart still aches and there is not a moment that I do not think about you. I continue to look at your pictures everyday to keep you close to me. I love you Abbey💖 There was no greater privilege and honor to have been loved by you. I miss you, Princess. Every day, forever 🤍
Oct 14 My sweet Babygirl, here I am at day 623 and 89 weeks since I last had your warm little body in my arms. My life without you feels dark, sweet girl. I spend my days going through our life together and looking at your photos and videos to keep you close to me. At times, that day creeps in...the devastating, horrific life-changing moment that had no warning. And just like that, you fell ill and before I knew it, you were gone😭 Nothing stops the ache that I feel in my heart, Baby💔 I hope that you can hear me talk to you every day. I will never forget you, Abbey, and I will always keep your memories with me until the day we meet again. I miss you and I love you💖 Every day, forever🤍
Oct 21-Day 630 Ninety weeks - that is how long I have had to live without you. I had less than 15 years with you but I sure hope that I will not have to live that long without you😢 I cannot say enought just how much your are still loved and missed, every second of every minute of every hour of every day, my sweet Abbey🤍
Oct 28-Day 637 Dear Abbey, it is still hard to believe that you are no longer by my side and will never come back. You gave me your whole heart and were fiercely loyal to me until your very last second. Thank you!
I miss touching you and feeling your wet kisses on my face, my love💜 I love and miss you so much. Every day, forever🤍
Oct 29 Dear Abbey, it's already 21 months and it still hurts💔😭 I love and miss you, ALL OF THE TIME, Babygirl💜
Nov 4-Day 644 Dear Abbey, 92 weeks since you rode in your stroller for part of our last walk together. It now sits in my sewing room with its wheels deflated😥 My head knows that you are at the Rainbow Bridge waiting for me just like all the other fur angels that went before and after you who are also waiting for their mama and daddy, but my heart doesn't want to accept it. At times I wonder if you truly are waiting for me and if I will ever get to hold you again...those are the times of deep sadness that feels like a black hole from where I cannot scape. And then there are the times when I think of all of the happy memories you left behind...like when you would zoom around the coffee table, up and down the stairs, back around the table all while wrapping yourself in yarn. And during those flashback of happy memories, I feel hopeful that I will hold you in my arms again. I love and miss you ALL OF THE tIME, sweet litte girl. I just wish that you were here🤍
Nov 11-Day 651 I love you so much, Abbey. One of today's photo memory is from Nov 11, 2011 at 4:07pm as we were driving to Petco. It's a happy memory of you standing up in the front seat looking out the window. You always stood up when I would make a turn into a shopping center. It was as if you knew instintively that we were going shopping and you would immediately stand up to look out the car window with excitement. Gosh, I miss you so much. I no longer have a reason to go to the pet stores and my heart sinks every time I drive past them becasue it was one of your favorite things to do. But for now, I will continue to keep your memory alive, every single day, and I will try to enjoy the happy memories of those times that made you happy. You are always on my mind and forever in my heart, my sweet Babygirl. I love and miss you, ALL OF THE TIME🤍
Nov 18-Day 658 Dear Abbey, how is it possible that it has now been 94 weeks since we had a normal morning and I walked you for the last time? It all happened without any warning and I was not able to comfort you as you took your last breath😭 It hurts so much to live this life without you💔 You feel so far away, sweet girl. I love you forever, and I miss you always. "Mama will be back, ok?" 🤍
Nov 25-Day 665 My dear sweet Abbey, yesterday was Thanksgiving Day and I thought of you all day long, as I always do. I hope that you had a good day and are happy wherever you are. I am thankful to you, Baby, for having been in my life for 14 years, 10 months and 4.5 days. Most days feel impossible to get through, and I only get through them with the thought of you and the memories that you left me with. I miss you and I just want to see you again😭 I love you, Babygirl. Every day, forever🤍
Nov 29-Day 669 Dear Abbey, today marks 22 months since you left me. I cannot ever say enough how much I miss you and wish that you were here still. I miss the way you would "paw" at me and the way you would rock from side to side when you wanted something. I miss watching you tear apart a ball of yarn and then watching me as I put it back togehter for you to do it all over again. I miss watching you play with your toys and making them squeak. When I am getting some shredded cheddar cheese, I think about how much you loved to have some on your little bowl. As I think of everything you are missing, like sunbathing outside on a day like today, playing with your toys, eating your food, walking and hopping on our walks, and so much more, my eyes fill with tears. My eyes will never be dry again 😢
I think that you left too soon. You most definitely left when I was not prepared to let you go. Heaven is lucky to have you now and I cannot wait until we are togehter again, forever. I love you, beautiful girl! Always and forever🤍