Jan 30-Day 366 My dearest Abbey, Happy Sweet 16th Birthday, Baby🎀 You've been gone 365 full days and today you are spending your second birth day at Rainbow Bridge, apart from me😭|
I hope that you are happy and that you do not have any memory of what happened about half a day before your 15th birthday. Sixteen years ago, you came into this world and shortly thereafter, we got a call that you were born (in Severy, KS) and so we patiently waited for you to be 8 weeks old to come live with us. We met you and you chose me the day before you were 7 weeks old.
Your fur parents were Hao Hun Yun (black & white) and Ker Al (brindle, white). I remember sitting on the floor with you and many other fur puppies as I tried to decide which one was going to be my companion. But YOU, my sweet Baby, made that decision - you had decided that you wanted me to be your human mama. It was you who kept coming back to me to snuggle on my lap every time I put you down. After a few times of going back and forth, daddy said that YOU had to be the ONE because you wouldn't leave my side and for almost 15 years you stayed right by my side.
I wish I had more information about your first 8 weeks of life, like what time were you born, how much you weighed at birth, what was your birth order, exactly how many siblings you had. I think that you were 1 of 6 babies born on Jan 30 but I am not sure if you had siblings born before or after you. I also wish that I where your siblings went after you were separated from them and your parents on March 24 and are your fur parents and some or all your siblings with you at Rainbow Bridge?
Today is another very HARD day. I wish that I was with you to help celebrate your sweet 16. I wonder what you are doing now...are you alone curled up in a corner sleeping or are you running and playing with your fur family and your new Rainbow Bridge fur family? Are you happy? Did you and all the fur babies that are celebrating a birthday today have a special dinner and a fabulous celebration? I like to think that you are happy, walking, jumping and running like you did when you were a tiny puppy. I hated to watch you sleep most of the day and watching you walk slow as you got older. A few years ago, I began to hate the month of January because it meant that you were one year older. Now I hate January for other reasons, but then again, I have hated every day since you've been gone, and I will continue to hate every day until we are together again. If I may be allowed to make one wish on your birthday, it would be that I could fast forward my time on earth so that I could see you and hold you again.
So today, as I think about how you came to be my faithful companion, I am grateful for the remarkable, smart, sassy, loyal, and beautiful companion you were in my life. Thank you for your love and for always wanting to be with me. I remember your birthdays, in particular the last birthday that you had here on earth on January 30, 2020. I am glad that I took pictures and a video to mark your 14th birthday as that was the last time that I got to celebrate the date of your birth with you.
Abbey, I hope that you know how much I loved you then, how much I love you still, and how much I will continue to love you because my love and devotion to you have no end. The only one good thing about how quickly time passes is that I am one tear, one breath, one heartbeat, and one day closer to you. I love and miss you Baby Girl💔 Every day, forever🤍
Feb 4-Day 371 Dear Abbey, it was 53 weeks ago today that at approximately 12:08pm, you were walking around in the backyard and by 2:08pm I was holding your lifeless body in my arms. It all still feels surreal at times but I know that it is real because you are not here with me anymore. You life ended but my love for you has not and everyday I wish that somehow I could just go where you are to hold and kiss you again. Thank you for almost 5,425 days of unconditional love and companionship 💜 I love and miss you so much, my sweet Baby Girl. Every day, forever🤍
Feb 11-Day 378 Hi Baby, yesterday I peeled the label from an Rx bottle but I did it very quietly as I couldn't bear to hear the sound that it makes when it gets peeled off quickly. The memory of watching you waiting for me to give you the bottle was and will always be a very beautiful memory. It warmed my heart to know that simple things like an Rx bottle brought you minutes of play even though you had baskets full of toys. It is memories like that one that bring me to tears now that you are not here but I am happy to have them. I miss you so much, Baby. I miss your eyes. I miss your breath. I miss your kisses. I miss your quiet snores. I miss EVERYTHING about you 😥
Feb 14-Day 380 I love you Abbey ❤️
Feb 18-Day 385 My dearest Abbey, it's 55 weeks without you, my little sidekick, and I miss you more than I can put into words😭 Some days are still tougher than others but I continue to have hope that I will see you again...hopefully, sooner rather than later and in a blink of an eye. Today I want to thank you for changing my life and for being the missing piece for the entirety of yours. I cannot thank you enough for loving me and for the endless cuddles and kisses you were always willing to give me. You are the best four-legged furry human soul that I had been entrusted with. You are irreplaceable! I love you my sweet and beautiful Babygirl🥰 Every day, forever 💜 Mama
Feb 25-Day 392 I miss you Abbey...every minute of every day and no amount of time will ever change that💔 We are are told that grief has to look a very specific way and that it should only last for a very specific amount of time but I do not subscribe to that. At 56 weeks, my heart is still filled with immeasurable sadness and my eyes still fill with tears at any given moment. No one around me will ever understand what losing you has done to me and how much I long to see you and hold you in my arms again. I love you Babygirl 🥰 Every day, forever 🤍
Mar 1-Day 396 13 long months without you, sweet girl. Life is different now but I hope that you are doing well and are having fun in the beautiful meadows at the Bridge. I cannot wait to be with you again. I miss you😭 I love you💖 I wish you were here with me💔 Every day, forever🤍
Mar 4-Day 399 Dear Abbey, 57 weeks/Fridays since you left my side and in your absence, I stand alone. And I have learned that I always will. Most days are still very hard. EVERY DAY my mind always finds its way back to you and most times I can smile because you were real, you were here, and your love was pure. You were absolutely the most perfect little girl and I wish that you were still here. I love and miss you sweet Baby girl💜 Every day, forever🤍
Mar 11-Week 58 Dear Abbey, I think about you every single day 😭 406 days. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Mar 18-Day 413 Dear Abbey, tomorrow is the 16-year anniversary of the day that you chose me as your mama. I remember sitting on the floor and picking you up but when I put you down, she came back to me. The other puppies went along on their way, but you kept coming back to me and then stayed on my lap. I then heard Daddy say that it seemed that YOU were the ONE🥰 YOU wanted me. What a privilege and honor of my life it was to have spent 775 weeks and almost 1 day with you physically here. Those have been by far the best weeks of my life💜 Today marks 59 weeks since you unexpectedly left my side but I hope that I will not have to wait more weeks without you then with you before I can hold you again.
You were here. You were mine and I was yours. Thank you Sweetheart, for your unconditional love and loyalty. You are all I think about. Through everything that I do, I see you. ALL THE TIME. You will never be forgotten as long as I breathe. I miss you my Sweet Abbey😭 I love you. Every day, forever🤍
Mar 19 Dear Abbey, thank you for choosing me 16 years ago today and for the bright days you gave me for 775 weeks. You are always loved, never forgotten, and forever missed, Baby. Every day, forever🤍🖤
Mar 24, 2006 was the day that you came home to live with us. Oh Sweet Girl, how missed you are😭 I love you💖 Every day, forever🤍
Mar 25-Day 420 Dear Abbey, how is it possible that its been 60 weeks? But here I am and the painful reality of grief is knowing that you are never coming back💔 I love and miss you so much, Sweet Girl. Every day, forever🤍
Mar 29 Dear Abbey, every passing day takes me further away from you💔 Further from that moment that I held you for the last time. Fourteen months, Baby...14 long months and the pain of losing you is still constant. Every day moves me further away from the last morning that I cared for you...from our last walk together that you seemed to enjoy so much. I miss you Abbey😭 I love you...love you so much! Every day, forever🤍 Mama
Apr 1-Day 427 Dear Abbey, I miss you soooo much, Baby😭 I love you💜 Every day, forever🖤 Mama
Apr 8-Day Day 434 Dear Abbey, it still feels impossible that you were taken from me 62 weeks ago but unfortunately that is my reality😭 There's not a day goes by that I don't think about you or wish that I could hold you again. I heard a song today that describes how I feel every day when I think about our last Friday morning together. It starts with these words..."If I had only known the last time would be the last time. I would've put off all the things I had to do. I would've stayed a little longer, held on a little tighter. Now what I'd give for one more day with you..."
I'd give up everything that I have and more for one more day with you, but until I'm standing with you again, YOU will continue to live on in all the better parts of me, my sweet Babygirl👼 I miss you so much and I love you always💗 Every day, forever🤍 Mama
Apr 15-Week 63 Dear Abbey, four hundred and forty one days. That's how long it's been since I saw you. Since I held you. Since I watched you go. Since I had to say, "Abbey died", for the first time. Sixty three weeks since nothing has been the same. Nothing about this life has felt the same or looked the same, or been the same. Not since the moment we were torn apart💔🖤 Every day and every night this week has been difficult to want to move forward because I am broken without you😭 I miss you every moment of my day, my sweet Babygirl. I love you. Every day, forever🤍 Mama
Apr 17-Day 443 Happy Easter, Abbey. I miss you soooo much and wish that you were here with me, precious Babygirl🎀 I love you. Every day, forever💜
Apr 22-Day 448 My sweet Babygirl, I wish you were here. Or I was there. Or we were together anywhere. I love you and miss you so much, sweet Abbey 💜 Every day, forever🤍 Mama
Apr 29 Dear Abbey, 15 long months, 65 long weeks and 455 long days...that is how much time I have spent without you. The missing you has not stopped. Every day, I wake up with tears in my eyes and wishing that you were sleeping next to me. Not a day goes by that I am not thinking about you. Thinking about my favorite memories of you, about the things you did, or thinking about what you would be like today. You are always on mind, Abbey🐾 I don't ever want that to go away...
May 6-Day 462 Another day, another week, and a new month without you, my sweet and beautiful Abbey💗 Each morning, for 461 days, I have woken up to the complexities and pain of grief, and to my new reality - that you have been gone 66 weeks ago. Nothing has been the same since the moment that your heart stopped and mine broke into a gazillion pieces. Simply put...Life sucks without you, Sweetheart. I miss you every second of every day as I spend my days remembering you always. I love you, Baby girl. Every day, forever🤍 Mama
May 8 Really missing you on this, my second Mother's Day without you, my sweet Abbey. It's been far too long without you. I love you so much Sweetheart. Every day, forever🖤 Mama💔
May 13-Day 469 Not a moment goes by that you are not in my thoughts, my sweet Abbey. Each day, as I move farther away from the last time that we were together, I miss you a little bit more. It may seem like I have survived these last 67 weeks without you, but the reality is that I still struggle every day. Losing you so suddenly and unexpectedly has been the worst thing that has happened to me. The grief is heavy and the pain hurts my heart. It is unimaginable heartache. Every day, I live with an overwhelming sadness that will be with me until I see you again. Until then, I will continue keep your memories with me always. I love and miss you, Baby. Every day, forever🤍 Mama🖤
Day 474 I miss you Abbey 😥
May 20-Day 476 Dear Abbey, this life without you is hard. And sad. And incredibly painful. It is filled with disappointments. You never disappointed. You brought me joy each and every day. You made me want to do things and made me a better person. You were the greatest part of me. I miss you as much as I love you, my precious girl. Every day, forever 🤍 Mama
May 27-Day 483 Dear Abbey, another day, another week, and another birthday spent without you. Birthdays will never be the same because life is different now. I am different. I feel trapped and isolated without you by my side. I love and miss you Sweetheart💗 Every day, forever🤍
May 29 Abbey, my beautiful, special and sweet girl. 16 long months without you💔 How is that possible? This weekend also marks the beginning of the second summer without you and I miss you terribly.
Jun 3-Day 490 and 70 long weeks since you left, my sweet Babygirl. Every day I close my eyes and wish that when I open them, you'd be right here next to me, looking at me with your big beautiful eyes, but you are not. It is still all too painful to think about the way you were snatched from me. I am sorry that I could not save you and that I did not know to be able to tell you that it was okay and that "mama will be back". I will never recover from that.
Jun 10-Day 497 My sweet Babygirl, here I am at 71 weeks since that dreadful day that you were taken from me. I look at your photos to keep you close to me every day, and as I searched today's date, pictures of you and Suzie Woo popped up. It was 11 years ago that Suzie and her family came to visit from KS. It was also the last time that we would see Suzie in person. Life happened and we never got to visit with them again. And then I got the sad news that Suzie had crossed the Rainbow Bridge before Xmas and 39 days later, you followed. Never did I imagine that you two would go to the Bridge so close together. I think that Suzie wanted you by her side😥
Jun 17-Day 504 It still does not seem possible that I lost you 72 weeks ago today, my sweet Abbey💜 Life has no meaning anymore. I am an empty shell without you. I'm functioning but I'm not here as I'm in never-ending darkness I miss you, more than I could ever put into words, little girl😭 I love you💖 Every day, forever🤍
Jun 24-Day 511 Dear Abbey, you gave my life joy. You made this house a home. You made things better and brighter every day. You were here. You were real. But now you are just a memory of a life we had together. Not quite 15 years together but by far the best years of my life. Every day I ask myself "what's the point" now? Every day I miss you more😭 And every day I think about you always and wish that this was all a nightmare. I love you, my sweet little girl💖 Every day, always and forever🤍