I could talk about how the first time I held you, it felt like coming home.

I could talk about how the last time I held you, it felt like losing my heart.

I could talk about the 10 years and 10 months in between. About how you spent almost every night snuggled in my arms. About the millions of tiny kisses you gave me. About all the happy memories we shared.

I could talk for forever about you, and there still wouldn't be enough words to describe you well enough. To describe how sweet, how loving, how stubborn, how affectionate you were.

I could talk about how hard it is to be without you. About how empty and quiet our room is. About how although Milo is still his impish self, there's a bunny sided hole in my heart.

I miss you, Amy My Amy. I will never stop loving you.

Dear Amy, it's been two weeks now. You're gone, and still causing trouble; because you had to go so far away from home, your ashes had to be sent to Elgin. I have to spend six hours on the road tomorrow to bring you home. I can hardly wait.

I love you, I miss you, I wish you were still here. I'm sorry for the way you had to leave us, that we dragged you down to Edinburgh just to be told you were too sick to be taken back, but I don't regret my final act of love. I'm glad that I helped you over the bridge; you were in more pain than anyone knew, and I am glad to know that you aren't suffering now. That the arthritis, the cataracts, the heart murmur, the bad teeth, and failing organs aren't troubling you anymore.

We had a good run, didn't we? I spoiled you as much as I could. I hope it was enough. You could be difficult, and to be fair so could I, but we made it work. Lasted longer than some people's marriages at least. You were there for me for a lot of hard times and sleepless nights; caused a few of them too. You were a furry little shoulder to cry on, and I'm thankful for that. The only shoulder I have now is Milo's, and as a chinchilla, his is much smaller.

I thought losing you would be the hardest thing I would have to go through. I thought it would absolutely destroy me. But truth be told, Amy, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would. Maybe it still hasn't hit me for real yet. Maybe it's because you were so old, part of me had been preparing myself already. Maybe it's because I still have Milo. I don't know; I do know that I will always love you, and carry you with me always.

One day, I will get more rabbits. I love them too much to ever go too long without them. They won't be you, but I'll love them all the same. Don't be jealous; you knew me better than anyone, you know that you can never be replaced. Can never be forgotten. I just need bunnies in my life.

Love you always, Mama.

Two months, two weeks and two days later, and I have news. I'm getting another rabbit, Amy.

No one can ever replace you, and I still do miss you so very much. But I can't live without rabbits forever. I'm not me without them. You were the best of them all, but this new one will be good too, I hope.

I'm going to call him Theodore. He's a rescue, about a year old, and a rather large crossbreed. He's a real sweetheart, apparently. I'm going to take him home and love him. I like to think that you'd approve of him. If you can't be with me anymore, send me someone to love.

Love always, Mama