Love Daddy, Mommy, Sandy, Monkey & all your toys

09/24/2019:
To my sweet baby boy. It's been 5 days since you passed away. I miss you so badly my heart just aches. I have been trying to stay strong but it's hard. Daddy has a hard time waking up without your face licks and little head butts. I miss your silent meows and sweet kitty kisses. I never thought the day we went in for your hernia surgery would be our last day together. I should have done something differently that day. I told you that morning that "Your Daddy won't let nothing bad happen to you". I was not able to keep that promise and it breaks my heart. You pulled through your surgery just fine. The doctors at The Cat Doctors did a great job and we went home. That night you had trouble so I rushed you to Blue Pearl emergency vet. They said that your BP & heart rate was low. When we went back to see you they had you in a warm blanket and said that your BP and heart rate was improving but they wanted to keep you overnight. Your sweet little face looked so relaxed and cute in that warm blanket. I gave you a kiss on the nose and we went home. The Doctor called me about 2:00am and said that we needed to come down because things had gotten worse. We rushed down and found you in an oxygen chamber. The Doctors fought hard to save your life. They tried to resuscitate you and for a moment thought you were responding. Then my WHOLE WORLD CAME CRASHING DOWN. My heart literally broke in two at that moment. I believe in God but would gladly sell my soul to the devil to have you back. I WOULD trade my life for yours in a second if God would let me. Although I would never harm myself for me, fear of my own death has lost it's sting. I pray I will be with you very soon sweet baby. I LOVE AND MISS YOU!

NOTE TO READERS:
If you live in Tampa DO NOT TAKE YOUR BABIES TO CONNECHUSETT ANIMAL HOSPITAL. They performed the first surgery and botched it up so badly that Baby's kidney was sticking out! The "Doctor" at Connechusett said, "it's still going to stick out"... WHAT??? it's still going to stick out??? a few days later I had to take him to The Cat Doctors. They fixed it the right way but was concerned about the kidney. Emergency room Doctors said that they think baby developed a blood clot (probably from the botched first surgery and the damage done then).

9/29/2019
Dear sweet baby boy. It's been 9 days and I miss you more than ever. I hope and pray that you are having fun in heaven and playing with all your new friends. Daddy will be there soon to be with you forever. I would tell you to be a good boy but you always are anyway. No kitty will ever be able to replace you or be as special to me as you will always be. You are my soulmate baby doll. Everybody says I need to get another kitty that needs love but I can't do that right now. Please forgive me for not making a better decision when you were injured. I should have done something different. I wish God would give me a second chance. I hope and pray I will see you very soon. I LOVE YOU VERY, VERY MUCH BABY BOY! Please God, see that my baby gets my messages and let him know how much I love him. Please let me see him soon.

10/02/2019
My dear sweet Baby. It's been 12 days since I lost you, my best friend EVER! Baby I miss you so badly it literally hurts my heart everyday. You were the sweetest baby anyone could ever have. I wish God would let me trade my life for yours. I would do that is a second. My life is so sad & empty without you. I keep thinking about you all the time and just can't believe your gone. You will never be forgotten, EVER! I can't wait till I die and can see you again. I WILL see you again my sweet baby boy!! I would tell you to be good for God but you were ALWAYS a good baby. I got a new pair of shoes today and thought how much you would have loved the box. It made me smile but it also made me sad because I just miss you so badly. I miss you laying by me on my desk while I'm typing on the computer. I miss you sleeping with me at night. I miss taking you for walks. Daddy tried so heard to protect you always but I failed this time and I will never forgive myself for that. You always looked deep into my soul and me into yours. There was no doubt the connection we had was VERY special and will never be broken or replaced. I feel you there, just on a different plane. PLEASE hear me sweet little boy! PLEASE send me a sign! God PLEASE let Baby Cain hear me! He needs his Daddy! I will write again very soon baby boy. I love you so very much.

10/6/2019
My sweet baby boy. Today makes 16 days since I have been able to hug and kiss your little face. It breaks my heart to not be able to love on you. I miss you so much baby boy. You gave us lots of WONDERFUL memories but I wish with all my heart that I had more time to love on you. I wish I had one of your famous kitty kisses right now. I wish I could turn back time my sweet baby. I would give up everything I have for just one more kiss from my baby boy. Dear God please let me see my baby boy again. Each day my heart aches so bad. I need to see my baby again. This is a wound that will never heal until I see Baby again. I WILL see you again my sweet boy! God keep you safe until then.

10/09/2019
Sweet Baby Cain. It's been 19 days but it already feels like eternity. Why did we have to lose each other to soon? I would give anything to have you back even for one more day. I tried to protect you and dreaded the day you would leave me. I knew the day would come but I would much rather have died than you my sweet baby boy. I wish I could trade my life for yours right this second. I wish God would let me. I would do it without hesitation. As you lived to make us happy, I lived every day to make you happy. When you were attacked by dogs years back people told me that I was crazy to spend $8,000.00 on you to save your life and make you whole again. They said the same thing when we spent $4,000.00 on your last surgery to repair your hernia. Sweet baby boy.... I would have spend everything I had and more to be able to buy you even one more day! I would give up everything I have to have you back, even my own life! My life is so empty and meaningless without you. I am trying to be happy because I know in my heart that you would want that but I am failing terribly. Please forgive me for not being able to save you again. I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN MY SWEET BABY BOY! Of this you can be sure! Please God keep my baby boy safe and happy and please let me see him again. Bye for now sweet baby boy. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL! Love Daddy.

11/14/2019
My Sweet Baby Cain It's been 55 days since you went to heaven to be with God and await my arrival. I keep asking myself why this had to turn out like this. Every night I miss you so badly that I cry myself to sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night talking to you and God and ask him to please let you know how much I love and miss you. I try to be strong because I know that you loved to make your daddy happy. I am sorry that I can't be happy all the time without you. I pray to God every night to PLEASE let me see you again in my dreams. Please let us communicate through him and let us both know that each other is hearing one another. My sweet Baby I miss you so much. My heart just breaks every day. I wake up just praying to find out this is all just a bad dream and my Baby will be laying beside me once again. I will never stop hoping that to be true one day. I am happy when I think about all the good times we had, which was every second that I was with you. I couldn't wait every day until I could come home and see my baby boy. I LOVED walking through that door and my first question was always "where is my baby"?

This I swear, I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN!!! I believe this with ALL MY HEART!!! Until then my baby boy, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL FOREVER AND EVER!

I LOVE YOU BABY CAIN. WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BODY, MY SWEET BABY BOY FOREVER. YOU COULD NEVER BE REPLACED!
Love, your Daddy

12/17/2019
Hello Baby. I sure miss you sweet boy!!! This is just as hard today as it was the day you went to be with God. I cry like a baby every day, sometimes more than once. I pray to God each night to let me hear from you somehow or to take me so I can be with you once again. It is SO HARD to move forward each day without knowing I can come home to you at the end of my day. I use to watch the clock just waiting to close up so I could get home to see my sweet baby boy. You were always waiting for me to come home with lots of sweet kitty lovin and kitty kisses. You would rush daddy to eat so you could just get in my lap. Many times I would stop eating before I was done just to be with my baby. I miss you laying in my lap purring so loud that everyone could hear you over the TV. You would always stare deep into my eyes and I could feel you deep in my soul. Then, when we went to bed you would curl up in my tummy and we would fall fast asleep. When the morning would come you would wake me up licking my face and eyes. Those were the BEST DAYS of my life!!! I will never forget those very special times from the most special kitty EVER! PLEASE God, let me see him again soon. Let him at least come to me in my dreams and let me know he is there, ok and waiting for me. I KNOW that with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. Please let it be so now.

I love you sweet baby boy! With all my heart & soul!!!
Love, your Daddy

09/20/2021
Hello sweet Baby Cain. On this day, anniversary of you passing, I miss you so badly and it never seems to get any easier. If I could have just one wish it would not be for fame, money or health. It would be just to have you in my lap again and to be able to kiss your little face. I would look into those beautiful, loving eyes again as you stare back into mine and feel the deep connection we have in real time. You are my true soul mate forever & ever and nothing can EVER can ever change that. Be a sweet boy for God just as you did with me until daddy arrives

I love you Sweet boy, my little "LB" and will miss you until that great reunion in Heaven. What a GLORIOUS day that will be!

Praise God for that day.

I love you
Daddy