I remember you weren't really sure what to do with toys or exactly how to play, since you'd spent a lot of your life outside with your German shepherd brother, but oh how you loved to walk! One of the best things we did was go to the beach twice a year, just the two of us. How we'd walk and walk. I wish we'd walked more often the rest of the time.

I know you got lonely when I left you with mama so much of the time because of the hours I had to work. But, oh, my gallant little boy, you were always there for me anyway. I remember: the mornings you laid up against me in bed and rested your amazingly heavy little head on my shoulder just to cuddle; the days when I would get so frustrated or upset I burst into tears, and you licked them off my face with your hot little tongue; those times you growled under your breath letting me know there was more to someone than I might see on the surface, and to beware; and finally your patience when I brought Sammy home to be your brother because I didn't want you to be lonely anymore . . . neither one of us knew what we were getting into with that, did we?

Nevertheless, Sammy misses you too; so does mama. And I am so sorry that I didn't recognize you were sick sooner. You were such a sweet boy to leave on your own so I didn't have to make the hard decision, but I still wish I had been with you. It's been more than four months since you left, and some days are still harder than I would ever have imagined. I miss you so much, my beautiful Tibetan lama dog. Sammy's a good boy, but he's not my soul mate in quite the way you were. My heart has to be open for all, but even so, it contains a small Bear-shaped space that won't be filled except by you!