10/11/08My beloved Bubba I miss you so much! I remember the first day you came to us. You were so scared and frightened. You did not want to be petted or loved and you didn't even know what it was like to come into a house. I remember daddy carrying you inside because you would not come in. It took you a month before you finally walked through the entire house. When you came into the kitchen the first time I was so happy to see you standing next to me. After that you never left my side. You were so comfortable with us finally. I will never forget how you and Maggie would always make yourselves comfortable on the couch. What a sight you two were. You snoring and Maggs dreaming. You have always been so gentle with the girls. They have loved you since they layed eyes on you. Bubba, you have always been my special boy. My heart has always swelled with love for you. You have always been a perfect gentleman, the way you always let Maggs go first, the way you layed with your front paws crossed and the way you have always been so gentle with everyone. I will never forget how loving you are. I truly miss your nibbles. We were all talking about how you would kiss us and then start nibbling our chin. Sometimes though, if I was standing talking or doing something and didn't realize you were there all you had to do was nibble the tips of my fingers. I will truly miss that. Oh Bubba I miss everything about you. I miss you throwing your head up onto my lap or the corner of the bed before I would fall asleep. I miss how you would sleep next to me after Ramsey passed away. I miss seeing your face and hearing you snore and also hearing you whine when you were happy to see us or when we would call you. The house is truly lonely without you. I really miss playing with you. Remember how much you liked to play and run? I remember you and Maggie waking me up at 1:00am to go outside and play for hours. The two of you were definetely night owls. Sometimes I would sit up and watch the two of you playing and I would just smile. I keep thinking about how much you loved to swim and chase after your tennis balls in the water. You truly are a water dog that's for sure. Bubba, we miss you so much. The girls are distraught. They keep thinking you will forget them when we get to heaven. I keep telling them that you will never forget us or our love for you.God I love you so much. My heart is broken. I know that you are much better now and you are healthy again but the pain is still there. I could see in your eyes that the Lord was calling you and that you fought for as long as you could.I miss hugging you and kissing your head while whispering what a good boy you are and how much I love you. I honestly don't know what I am going to do without you. Bubba, you always put a smile on my face and I could never resist you with the sad look you would give me when you wanted me to play with you or love on you. Everytime I think of you I get a smile on my face because you always made me happy and I know you are okay at Rainbow's Bridge. I have all your toys next to me when I sleep and your collar under my pillow. I don't want to give you up. I am not ready to let you go too far from me. I look around for you at times and call for you and then I realize you are not coming back. Maggie is so sad. She keeps looking for you everywhere and whenever someone goes in or out of the garage door she runs over looking for you since that is were she last saw you leave. Daddy is so sad too. We just talk about you when we lay in bed and cry for the loss of you. You were truly special to all of us. Words cannot express the hole that is in our hearts and lives forever. Do you remember all the times the girls would dress you up? You would just sit there and look at me like it was no big deal and you just let them have their fun while you loved the fact they were doting on you. You are so sweet Bubba. I hope you can hear my prayers for you. I send you all my love, hugs and kisses. I know you are watching over me telling everything will be alright but it doesn't feel like it. I am so sorry you had to endure all that you did in your lifetime. I hope you will always know how much I suffered with you. You were never alone in this fight. I have struggled for as long as you have just knowing what you were going through and that there was nothing that could be done. I cried every day for you. I was so scared for you and the stages you would go through in your fight and also for knowing I could not help you and that I would eventually loose you. It was a battle for me too. I wanted so badly for you to get better. I prayed for a miracle every night. My miracle was that God gave you to me so that I could love you unconditionally and so that I could learn what it was like to be loved uncondititonaaly. Bubba, you were a blessing to me. I needed you as much as you needed me. Bubba please come to visit me so that I can know you are well. I need to feel your comfort and love again. Please let Ramsey, Spanky, Holly, Hoppy, Molly, Buck, Timber, Zorro, Kitty, Nick, Sandy ,Bart and all the others how much I miss them and love them. I love you all. Oh Bubba I am so sad. I miss you terribly.I miss your thumping tail every time I walked by or everytime I called your name or when I would awake in the mornings.We all love you! I love you!! I love you!!! I love you!!Love mom!10/13/08My sweet boy,I miss you so much. I cannot beleive it has been exactly 1 week to the minute. My heart bleeds that you are not with me anymore but I know that your brain disease is now gone and you again have a smile on your face and you feel no more pain. Thank you for 9 1/2 wonderful years. I have been blessed with your love and memories that will fill me for a lifetime. My heart is heavy with grief but at the same time relieved for you that you are now whole again and are fully aware of everything around you. I know you are having so much fun with all the furbabies at RB. I am sending you all of my love and all of daddy's, the girls and Maggie's love too. We talk about you all the time and constantly have smiles on our faces with all the wonderfull fun and silly memories we have with you. My baby I can't wait to see you again. I know you are giving me strength right now to get through each day. We are still praying for you just like we have been praying for Ramsey wishing you well and telling the Lord to continue to watch over you both since I no longer can. I tell him to give you my love and hugs and kisses. I hope you feel them on your beautiful faces. I love you Bubba!XO10/15/08Hi my handsome boy! I did not get a chance to talk to you yesterday but I got to bring you home where you belong. Daddy and I were beside ourselves because of the pain we felt for you.It was comforting to have you here and put you on the bed again. Maggie smelled your box and she knew you were home. Today she slept in my bed with you all day. That is were she was when I came home this evening. She is so sad. Daddy and I talked about how lucky we were to have everything a person could want in a dog all bundled up in one with you. My heart is still heavy with grief. I hope you are watching over us and see how much you have meant to each and every one of us in this family. You will never be forgotten. You are my special baby. I love you more than words can say or express. You are my sweet boy. I am sending you my love, kisses and hugs!!XOXOMommy,daddy,ashey,tori and Maggs10/17/08Hi my sweet boy! I've been thinking of you and missing you terribly. It is raining today and I know these are tears from you. They felt so good on my face because I somehow felt closer to you again. Yesterday I spent a lot of time playing with Maggie outside with the frisbee. She sure does not play like you would. The girls are doing better now, they are still upset but the initial pain has subsided for them. I am glad because it was a lot for them. Dad and I on the other hand are not doing as well. We are both very sad and lonely without you. You have meant the world to us and now our lives have been turned upside down again. I know that you are with God and are okay now which has given me a lot of peace and comfort. I am so happy to talk about you and feel so proud that you were mine and that you loved me the way you did. Take care my big brown baby!! I love you so much with all my heart.XOXO10/21/08Hi Bubba! I miss you so much.the past couple of days have been so very hard.The weather is changing, getting cooler and the leaves are changing. I was remembering how you loved to sit outside this time of year with your head up smelling the air change and feeling the breeze on your face.I keep calling for you, sometimes I call Maggie you and catch myself or I will call for both of you.I am not used to this.You did not deserve this.Sometimes I wonder why God had to do this to you and us.I have not figured the answer out yet.I look for you every time I go to the bathroom and you would sit in the doorway not letting me close the door or you would just be sleeping away there at night and daddy and I would have to always step over you in the middle of the night.Maggie is a little better. I am home this week and she is loving it, getting spoiled rotten.My heart is bleeding for you Bubba.I keep trying to go through the motions like everything is okay but it is not and it never will be.I don't know when I will truly be happy again.I can't believe next week Ramsey will have been gone one year and now your not here either.Life does not turn out the way we want it to.I certainly hope you are happy at RB and I know you have many new friends besides your family up there.Please look down at me and send me some love so I know you are okay.I miss everything about you especially your love.Give my love to everyone.Hugs and kisses to you.XOXOXO10/23/08My sweet Bubba I miss you so much. Today I had to go to the vets with Maggie and all I could do was cry. It was as though I was losing you all over again. All I could do was think of you and cry. My heart hurts so much. I can't imagine how to keep going through the motions pretending I am okay. I just want to wrap my arms around you and hold on and kiss your head and tell you what a sweet boy you are and how much mommy loves you. Bubba you are so very special to me there can never be another like you my handsome brown baby. Please send me some love. I desperately need it from you and Ramsey. I hope you are having tons of fun up there playing. Maybe you know what happened to your hedgehog toy. Hopefully you found it up there and are carring it around. I can picture it now. I love you with all my heart.I am sending my hugs and kisses your way, be sure to give them too all my furbabies! I love youXOXO10/29/08My dear Bubba,I have been thinking of you so much.I miss you more than words can say.This house just is not the same without you.Maggie is doing better now but she still walks around the house looking for you several times a week.She does not understand and she will sit in the garage ar peek her head into the garage looking for you.My life seem so quiet without you and Ramsey in it.I still think of you as being here when I talk about you. My heart can never be the same.Sometimes I feel more quiet than I used to be because I feel like so much of me died with you and Ramsey.The girls are doing better but they still miss you desperately.I hope you look down upon us from time to time.I want to talk to you so badly and hug you and kiss you and this makes me sad that I can't. I just want to know that you are okay and forgive me and still love me.I am sending you all my love.I hope you caught my kisses and felt my arms wrapped around you.I love you with all my heart!XOXO10/31/08My love,it has now been 25days and it feels like only yesterday you were sitting here naxt to me.I miss you so much.I kiss your picture every morning and night along with Ramsey's.The past couple of days have been difficult for me and especially today since it has now been 1year since Ramsey went to RB.I can't believe the two of you are no longer with me. I never would have thought things would have turned out this way.It doesn't seem fair but nothing ever is.I have all you toys and color next to my bed.Sometimes I just hold them and remember some of the times we played together.Bubba I miss you both so much.I hope you have met all of your family and have made new friends.I am sending you all of my hugs and kisses to you.Please comfort Ramsey as I know he is sad today.I love you my sweet baby.XOXO11/9/08My sweet bubba, thank you for coming to visit me last weekend with Ramsey.I know the two deers that were at our fence staring at me were the two of you letting me know you are safe and have found each other.I know you two are playing together by the way you were pawing at each other to play but Bubba I know you were watching me through the window letting me know you are whole again and that you love me and miss me too.Thank you for staying so long that I could enjoy the memories of you and Ramsey.I desperately miss you both along with all our other animals.I hope you have found them and are enjoying their company.Maggie is so sad these last few days.She doesn't want to do anything.She misses you so much.We keep spoiling her but I don't think it helps much.Please don't let anything happen to her.I am asking you and Ramsey to watch over this family as we are still in turmoil over everything that has happened to us this past year.Please guard and protect us.Come again soon to visit all of us.I miss you both with all my heart.I luv you!XO11/28/08Hello My Big Boy!I am missing you so much.I am truly sorry I did not write to you yesterday on Thanksgiving but I was avoiding the holiday because I can't deal with you not being here to join in the celebration with us so it is easier not to really acknowledge it.The pain I still have for you seem unbearable at times that I can't write as much as I would like to.I feel like I'm not sure if I will ever be happy again without you and Ramsey.I am sure by now that the two of you are inseperable now.I hope you are young again,running and chasing the others just like you used to. Maggie is still so depressed.She constantly is looking for you and Ramsey waiting for you both to come home.I am spoiling her rotten but she doesn't understand. I am worried about her during the day when no one is home.I hope you and Ramsey come and visit her and play with her.I feel like you were here one day last week. I found some leaf particles in the house by the doggie door and in my heart I know it was a sign because they could not possibly come in the doggie door with the step up and the floor mats.I hope you both had a good time with Mags.Please come and visit me soon.I was going through pictures and couldn't help remembering all the fun we all had with you.I miss your devotion and love for me.I know I will never find that kind of devotion and unconditional love that you gave to me.You have truly been a best friend to me.I love you and miss you so much.My heart will forever be broken without you and also Ramsey.I am sending you hugs and kisses.I hope you can fell my hugs around your body and my kisses on your head and hear me whispering in your ear how much I love you and wish we could be together again.You and Ramsey are in my prayers every day.I love you with all my heart and soulXOXO1/18/09Hi precious Bubba!I am so sorry I have not written to you in a long time.I have been scared to write because the pain is so great still.I could not write to you at Christmas because I was too depressed.We did not decorate a tree or the house.All we did was get the kids some stuff and we let it pass us by which is how we wanted it.This was the worst most painfull time of our lives.We are still upset amd crying and I mean all of us.Daddy and I cry all the time.We are lost without you.Our home feel so lonely without you and Ramsey.Tori is so sad still.She dream of you all the time and cries for you.Our pain has not lessened.I am lost without my Bubba.I hope you are doing much better at RB.I can picture you running and playing, chasing after your tennis ball.Hopefully you found your stuffed hedgehog that somehow got lost.I have kept all your toys and smell them and hold them so I don't forget how you smelled and I feel it brings me closer to you.I hope you know how much I loved you and still do.I don't think I will ever be the same person I was before I lost you and Ramsey.Maggie has been so lonely for you.She sat by the dining room window night and day waiting for you to come home.She started to stop eating and playing and greeting us.She was lost withou you.Daddy said we should think about getting another dog but I did not want to.I was not ready.We went to the animal shelter because he and the girls felt we should get a new dog for MAggie.We went one week and saw one dog that they kept wanting to visit and I said no.We went back the following week and the dog was still there so I said ok let's see it. She came to me first and licked my face and I knew she would be ours and that she would be good.In my heart I know you and Ramsey sent her to us and Maggie. It was hard for Maggie and Izzy for the first couple of weeks but now they get along real well.She is a mix between you and Ramsey.She is so playful like Ramsey and so loving like you.She will nibble me all over very playfully.She in no way replaces either you or Ramsey but she has been good for all of us.Thank you!I am sending kisses your way.I hope you can feel them on your face and I hope you feel me sqeezing you around the neck and body because I am sending you my hugs.I love you so much!!!My heart is still bleeding and always will.Have lots of fun playing with Ramsey and all our other family animals as I know you have gotten along well with all of them.I am sure you have made a ton of new friends also because you are so gentle and sweet.I love you my big boy!Take care!XOXOX10/6/09Well my beloved Bubba it has now been one year.I appologize for not being able to write sooner but it has been too hard for me to overcome your loss.I thik of you every day and cry often.I wonder sometimes what it would be like to still have you here.Maggie struggles without you,she misses you also.My heart has not been the same.I spoil Maggie and love her so much but you know your sis she doesn't like too much attention.I miss your beautiful face and your sweetness and gentleness.I wish you were here with me.I just want to hug and kiss you.I would give anything to pet you again.I miss holding you head in my hands and talking to you and kissing the top of your head.I miss laughing when you do something silly.We got a puppy back in Feb. as I am sure you already know.I could not bring myself to write to you then because I felt I was betraying you because I was loving him so much but I now realize I was overcompensating for your loss and also Ramsey's loss. I have spoiled him but I know I did the same for the two of you and maybe I have spoiled him a little bit more but that was only because I miss you both so much.He is a little mischievious devil who has chewed everything imaginable but still we love him.His name is Otto but I usually call him little man because he didn't turn out to be as big as we hoped and he is definetely the smallest dog we have had.I hope you can whisper in his ear to behave a little bit more.Oh Bubba I miss you.I can't stand this.Please come to visit from timte to time so I know you are alright.I still have your toys next to my bed so I can talk to you and tell you I love you.I am sending you all my love on this day.Please know you are my everything.Daddy misses you very much too.He is sad that you are not here.He hurts in his heart.The girls miss you too.We talk about you and look at pictures and smile at all the silly things they did to you like dress you up or put goofy hats on you and you were always the gentleman and let them have their fun.I hope you can feel my warm breath against your ear telling you how much I love you and miss you.I also hope you feel my kisses on your face and my arms wrapped around your neck hugging you tightly.I love you my sweet boy.You are the best ever!!!Be happy with Ramsey and Elijah.Let all my babies know how much I love and miss them too.Go run now and don't be sad for me because I know you are having fun with the others as you wait for us to be together again.All my love,mommy.10/8/10My sweet Bubba I miss you so much still.I have been thinking of you often and talk about you to Maggie.I am sure you know she is not well either.I just pray she can hang on for a while longer.My life seems empty without you and Ramsey.I still have a deep void that will never be filled.I truly miss your devotion to me.We now have another puppy dad thought would be good.But they can never be you-ever!I have cried often these past several months because I still miss and love you with all my heart.So much has been happening with the girls.They miss being able to take you to their football games and getting all the attention necause of you.You are definitely one of a kind that puts a smile on my face every time.Please know that I have not forgotten you even though I have not written lately.I just feel the pain even more when I write to you because it seems even more real.I love you Bubby with all my heart.Please feel my hugs and kisses I am sending your way.Let Ramsey know I am sending them his way too.Look down sometimes and let me know you are still waiting for me.I am still praying for you that you are ok and having the time of your life.XOXOXOILOVEYOU-MOMMY 1/6/13Hi my sweet Bubby I know it has been a while since I wrote but it surely does not mean that I don't think about you every day of my life.Maggie is now with you and I just know how happy you were to be reunited with her again.The love you two shared was priceless.I know she was just as happy to see you.She sure did miss you but she enjoyed being with us until the very end.I did all I could to keep her here as long as I could.I know she was glad to see Ramsey as well.God I miss you all.My life is not the same without you all.Izzy is still here and we have Winston now.I am sure Maggie told you all about him.We also had Otto but he was lost 14 months ago and my heart is broken for him.After you passed on he just came into my life unexpectedly and filled a void.He got out the door when we had a big wind storm and the door flew open.He and Winston ran out and we searched for months and are still looking.Winston came back six weeks later but no Otto.I don't know where my baby is.I just hope he is with you and Mags and Ramsey.Then I know he is safe.Life has been hard for us.The girls are so big now and driving and busier than ever.I find myself getting lonely and thinking of my furbabies.Just know my heart still bleeds for all of you.I love you all so much!!!I am sending hugs and kisses to all of you.XOXOXO

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