Update January 14, 2023:|
Well, little man, it's been a year. Yesterday I went out to the balcony where you left us, at the same time, and played your song and brought out your ashes, toys, and dried flowers to honor you. Yesterday felt right since you left on Friday.
I think of you every day, and probably always will. I will never forget about you or the special moments we shared together during the almost ten years you were with me. I still bring you something fresh and beautiful every day to put alongside the little electronic candle I keep on the balcony so you can always look down and know I am still thinking about you.
Paul, your previous keeper, is leaving California in a few days to go back to where he grew up. I know you love and miss him, too, so I wanted to let you know where he will be and ask you to keep a watchful eye over him as he travels and transitions into his new life. Tell Fluffy Paul as well, please. :)
It's been very rainy here which is unusual. Mouse and Mary Ann watch the rain come down on the balcony. Mouse seems to have completely overcome his pica, which is such a relief. Mary Ann has become much more sociable and they are both very loving. They still hide from strangers, but are not shy around me at all! They aren't like you and Hollis, demanding attention from each and every human you encounter. Mouse and Mary Ann are very special and I am glad you are their godkitty and watching over them. Your photo is still on the wall over their cat perch, with the painting of Hollis right below. It's a warm and loving kitty corner, complete with propagating fauna/flora, right by the window where birds and squirrels can be watched. Right where your condo was. Remember how I put the Christmas tree on top of you condo last year? It was like you were my present under the tree.
My heart aches for you sometimes and I speak to you through the fresh flora I find on my morning walks sometimes. I feel your presence strongly then.
Aside from Mouse and Mary Ann coming to live with me, not much has changed this year, which was nice after the flurry of changes throughout the last few years. I am permanently working from home, which is nice for the kitties. I'm so glad I was working from home the last year of your life because I was able to take better care of you that way. I had trouble listening to our radio station (KPIG) after you left and I re-discovered and really got into listening to KEXP, especially last spring and summer. This first Christmas without you was hard, but I made it through. I am very grateful for all the wonderful things in my life and I am so grateful I got to spend your last almost ten years with you, sweet boy.
Rest well, handsome prince.
PS: Give Uncle Kenny a head butt and purr
Update July 14, 2022:
Sweet sweet boy...I miss you so much. Today marks six months since you've been gone. I am sitting out on the patio chair where we said goodbye and listening to In Dreams, the song I played for your departure. I did this to mark a few anniversaries of your passing but it has been a while.
Every morning I bring a flower to the chair to place with a small electronic candle. I also have your picture up by your old condo spot, with a painting of Hollis underneath. Next to you, I also have a flower holder where I keep fresh flowers for you and Hollis.
You and Hollis now watch over Mouse and Mary Ann, two tuxedo siblings I got last spring. I could not bear to get just one cat, after having had just Hollis and then just you, so I got boy and girl siblings, and they are quite fun together. You and Hollis are their godparents. Mouse has had some issues with pica and had to have emergency surgery. I think we are getting it under control now. Please watch over him carefully...
It was so hard after you left. I really struggled. Covid is still bad. I will always remember and love you, Buddy. I write you little notes in my journal sometimes. I put down the umbrella today so you could maybe see me here if you are out there. My friend gave me a windchime as well for you to say hello with, and you just did!
Anyway, I hope you found Hollis, and the two of you are cuddling and playing. You will always be my handsome prince, my Bubble, my special little big boy.
I have your ashes with me and will put them back on the shelf in my bedroom on your favorite blanket with Hollis. So many dried flowers I have now! I keep a little bit of each one.
You will always be in my heart. The photo of you on my desk is now my work computer wallpaper and it's like you are right there with me again. I see you every day.
Much love and cuddles my boy, until next time...
Update February 18, 2022:
Well, it's been five weeks since you went to Rainbow Bridge, sweet boy. I finally got your photos uploaded here and finalized this memorial for you. Every day I bring in flowers and lay them on the chair outside where you left us, as well as inside by your photo and ashes. You and Hollis now spend your days on your favorite blanket, lounging on my bed in the sun. I still sing to you and talk to you and tell you how much I love and miss you. You will always be my special boy, my handsome prince, my favorite little man. I will always always love you. You left a Buddy-shaped hole in my heart, but you also left me with enough love and special memories to fill it. Thank you for our final Christmas together and sticking around. All my love forever, Meowma.
Original Memorial, early February, 2022:
Buddy came to me in 2012, about 10 months after I lost my cat, Hollis. He had visited me once before when his owner dropped him off at my house to cheer me up during a sad time and give his other cat a break. You see, Buddy could be a bit of a handful around other cats. He played a little too rough and didn't understand when the other cats thought that meant he was fighting. So when my friend moved in with his fiance a few months later, chaos ensued with her cats. So Buddy found his forever home with me as an only cat and I am so glad he did.
Buddy really is pretty amazing. In October of 2015, he was given only a couple of months to live. He had a mass and two ultrasounds indicated a pancreatic tumor. He got prednisone and pain medication and I considered him on hospice as I tried to make his last days as comfortable as possible. Then...inexplicably...he just continued to get a little better each day. Every day we would cheer, "Buddy! Yay!". He lasted over six more years. He had flare-ups. But I made adjustments and took care of him until it was clear that it was time to end his suffering.
Separate from his health issues, he was a unique boy. I called him my little big boy because he was quite large (until the last few years--he was about 5 lbs when he left for Rainbow Bridge). He liked to sit on top of his continuous feeder. He liked to make his presence known. Sometimes he would fall off the couch and in the moment of panic his eyes would lock into mind and say "WTF!?". He liked to help me work during quarantine. He liked to make sure I didn't work too much by lying on my mouse arm. He liked to give up by late morning and curl up in a ball on his cat tree right by my work chair. He liked to get on my lap and make sure I took a long enough break in my bean bag chair. He liked to sit on my lap and watch Netflix and YouTube and purr. He liked to dance to his favorite TV themes. He liked to graze on his food and then come have me wipe his lips.
He took to all the adjustments we needed to make due to his health with ease and grace. He let me know when he needed extra love. In return, I gave him all the love I could and told him every day how much I loved him. Every morning I would greet him with "Handsome Prince!" and we would start the day. My aim was to let him be exactly who he was in a safe environment.
Buddy also had so many fans and friends and liked to take center stage on video calls. He would steal your heart right out of your chest.
He was my sole companion during quarantine and I will never not love him with all my heart.
I miss you so much, little man. Mommy will always love you!! Meow meow!