|I do not know where to begin, so I will just type as I remember. Cousin Donny brought you, and you were so scared. I know you had to have been abused. Your little face, I loved it so. With time you learned to trust me, and only me. We became best friends, and you were always with me. My dad would laugh as he would see you sitting with me as I studied for class. It looked as if you were reading too. You loved to chew on the pencil as I wrote. You wrecked so many erasers! I remember dressing you in doll clothing, but you never cared. You sometimes brought me mice, but your poor mommy always shrieked. I am so sorry, baby, but they were so gross. Remember the time Mommy saw that horrible centipede? I came and got you, and showed you where it was, and you caught it for me. That was my girl. We were a team. You were my best friend. I remember all the times I saw with you and told you all of my fears and dreams. When grade school was so tough, you allowed me to cry on you and soak your fur. You would meow so, you had such a concerned meow. Sometimes you would bite my nose. I know you never meant to hurt me, you were just confused as to why I was crying so, and you wanted to help. It only made me cry harder ;) I still have a scar from you. You saw me graduate from highschool, you saw all my proms. You saw me graduate from college, and you were with me when I moved into my first apartment. I was so worried that you would not handle the move. I was so wrong! You were just a bit scared, but you knew I was with you. You hated to be alone. You hated to be without me. When I would go on trips when I still lived at home, you would cry to my parents. You would even go to my dad and cry! You hated him so : ) I can't stop crying as I write this. I miss you so much. It tears me apart being away from you. You were my only girl. With time, I got other cats, Chaddy, who was taken away from me so very young, but I had to put him to sleep, as the vet said he possibly could infect you with the disease he had. I could not lose you. You were my Bunda, my steadfast. You were the one steady thing in my life, and I can't beleive your gone. Soon I will have your ashes, and I know for sure you are gone. Just finally typing this proves your really gone. I can't beleive your gone. Yesterday I washed the walls. Your poor ear that grew that tumor was so full of blood. You shook your little head and it splattered the walls. It didnt hurt washing it, but now I know your really gone. You were so sick in the end. You hid, and even bit me. I know you didnt mean it, you were just so sick. I could have done the surgery to save you.. but you were 18 years old, maybe even older. The vet told me you might not make it through. I just didnt want to put you through it. You hated the pills, and you were tired of the vet visits. The chances of you surving it because of your poor health was slim. So I hoped for the best, and I thought you would last longer than you did. That tumor grew so quickly. Within a month it closed off your ear canal. Sometimes I wish I would have done the surgery, but in my heart I know it was for the best. I made the choice to let you go to sleep. The vet would not let me hold you like I wanted too. I think he was afraid that I would do somethign rash. So I heard you cry as you got the shot, and oh my baby, I am so soo so sorry I covered my face. I just couldnt watch. I feel like a coward.. but it was so hard for Mommy. You are my little girl.. I wanted so much to take the pain from you. I would have taken it upon myself I could have. I swear Bunda, I would have done anything for you. I watched the light go out of your eyes. I remember hitting the floor and scraping my nails down the table. I cried "Oh God Bunda!" "Bunda!" I still think I am in denial, some two weeks later. I love you so. I am sittlng here crying now. If you were here, you would be in here now, meowing, trying to find out what was wrong. Do you remember the day I was eating chicken? (Before I became a vegetarian?) I started to choke on the chicken.. and I was really scared since we lived by ourselves. I decided if I could talk, I knew I would not be chocking. I choked out "Bunda" and you came over and put your paw on my knee, and you looked so worried. Your brother just stole the chicken. But he loved you so. Do you remember when I first got him? Calydwen. He followed you around so, he loved you. He wanted to use you as a role model. I remember my moms cat Tiffany scratched him, and you smaked her. Then you licked him. You liked him deep down. Even though you often smacked him around a lot. You were so fighsty. When we lived at home you used to hide on the chair, and when the dog would walk past you would smack her. You never liked to drink out of the water bowl that the dog did. This is when you started your "paw cup" You would scoop the water in your paw and drink it like that. You did this with my milk too, even though Mommy said "No poo paws Bunda!" You never had dirty paws though. You were such a sassy prissy girl. But who could blame you? Mommy always told you how beautiful you were. You knew it. I would say "give me kissy" and you would give me the top of your little head to kiss. You loved that silly fox pillow I had on the bed. You would kneed him so much that you would have all four feet going. Sometimes you would miss and stomp on my head. I didnt mind. Before you had the fox we had a big bear that Ruth gaved me. My brother Tony ended up taking him over though. Try as I may to get that bear back, he kept taking it. Mom said to just let him have it, but I kept telling her that it was Boogies bear. But you found other toys to kneed until you fell in love with the fox. I would tell you how much fox loved you. I still sleep with that fox. Sometiems Claydwen will kneed him now too. I think he did it just because you did it. You loved to preen my hair, sometimes it would hurt, as you would pull to hard. You loved to lick me, and you would lick and lick until I had to tell you to stop because you were going to take off skin! I always had to thank you for the kissys though. You loved to lick the water off me after I got out of the shower. When I lived at home, you would sit on the bathtub rung while I took a shower. I had to be careful so you did not get wet. YOu would also always use the poo box when I would use the potty upstairs. You were so sweet. I remember when we had my grandmas cat over, Pugsy. We had given her a hair cut, and for some reason kept her by us for some time. I kept her in my bedroom so she would be safe. Tiffany again came in and tried to attack her, but she was actually going for me for some reason. You jumped up, and stopped her. You were not going to see her hurt me!! You loved me so. I could ask you anything, and you would answer. I could call your name and you would either come or answer. You would smell my perfumes, but never liked any of them. You always made face. I could show you my artwork, or anything, and you would be so happy. I think I could have shown you nothing and you would have been happy. You would stand on your hind legs for treats. When you were a kitten you loved those little chocolate balls, the tiny multicolored ones. I would have to squish them for you though, because they rolled around too much. You gave up on them later. But you always stayed a junk food cat. You loved anything salty, your favorite was Jays potato chips, dorritoes, pringles, (regular and cheesy), the cheese nips, harvest chedder, and you also liked french fries. You were a sucker for spagetti sauce with parmeson cheese, and of course pizza. When we lived in the apartment you would sometimes bring me your toys. I would tell you what a smart girl you were. Sometimes at home, with mom and dad, you would make me so mad when you sat in the street outside. I still don't know why you did that. At the apartment you would lick the walls, bathroom door, and closet doors. I won't ever understand that. Your bad potty habits got worse in the end. You used to just hate anything on the floor, like dirty clothing. You would pee on it. It gradually went to plastic bags etc. Probably Mommys fault as sometimes she was too busy, and let the poo boxes go over do. I would be so mad.. but I would take it back.. all the peeing to have you again. I think some of it was with your age, and you were sick, so it was not your fault. You were so scared of everybody. YOu hated Ruth as she called you pipsqueak and blew in your face, you hated hair dryers, you were so very scard of them. I had to make sure when I used it to hide it from you, because even if you saw it you would be jumping for hours. You hated the sound of the smoke detector. When you would hear it, you would come and nip me until I turned it off. I never had to worry about a fire with my Boogie around. Remember when you were hiding from my dad? You had no where to run.. so you hid behind my back. I loved you so. But daddy did save your life.. remember when we were kids, and that Becky girl put you in a purse while I was gone? I came home and found you and rushed you to my dad. He cut you out of there. My precious little girl. You were always so petite. When I started to date Rob, I brought home treats from Piggly wiggly as he worked their. Soon I realized you were eating them and your regular food, as you were getting kind of porky. I had to cut you off for a little while :) you never liked Rob. YOu knew long before I did he was a nasty man. You were always so scared of people. You loved Nicole though. Nicole came the day we had to put you to rest. She cried for you too. She bought me this page for you. Nicole is my best people friend. I miss you Bunda! I have so many memories.. and so little space here to capture them all. You always had to have my pillow. You would lay on my pillow and take it over. We somtimes could share. I often used you as a pillow. I remember I started to collect pillows because you always took mine over. I tried to plop you down on your own pillow, but you had to have mine. Sometimes you would even move if I moved to a different pillow. You know I loved it though. Remember during the night I would for some reason start poking at you? Mommy tosses and turns all night. I think I may have been trying to strech my arms up. YOu would nip me to let me know you were there. I would just grunt and roll back to sleep. I think sometimes I may have been trying to pet you too. I know I would grab at your paws or your tail and you would nip me too. :) I loved my Bunda. After we lived in the apartment, you seemed to open up to people a little more. You came out some more, like on New years eve when I had that party. I think maybe you were watching over me.. or maybe its because it was your house and you felt more secure. Remember the time you tried to run outside? you ran down the stairs and smacked into that window. That was funny! But you gave me such a scare. You always wanted to get outside. Thats because you were a barn cat. You can take the cat out of the barn, but not the barn out of the cat. You knew I hated it when you went outside. Its because of your habits of sitting in the street, (ill never know why) and becuase that one time you were gone for over 2 weeks. I thought I had lost you. We went camping, and came home, and you were their. My little angel. You were so hoarse, from crying all weekend. I was so happy to see you. Remember when I was younger I wanted for some reason to bathe you all the time? You went kind of nuts in the water... and you bit me once. My dad had to take me to the dtr. I was so afraid to tell my dad, as I thought he would hurt you. I knew you did not mean to bite me. I dont know why I wanted to bathe you all the time. But Daddy just laughed at me, and so did the dctr. I was so mad when I came home, but you tried so hard to say you were sorry. I had to forgive you : ) I had to give you a bath in the end too. You were so greasy from the medicine. You ened up biting me again, but this time I was not mad, as I knew you were just scared. I sitll have a mark on my hand.. and I hope I always do. Do you remember how I would take you and push your face against mine and go to the mirror? I would tell you we looked alike. You were my little girl, my only girl. I refused to have another girl cat, because you were my girl. We were a team against the boys. Bunda, you were such a little shutter bug. You loved to have your picture taken. You would pose so pretty. I knew for sure you were when I was taking a picture of the first and last dozen roses I ever received. You just had to be in the picture! You made the pictures come alive. Remember we had our pictures professionaly taken with Calydwen? You look so pretty in them. You look really upset.. but very pretty. You loved it when I would open the window so you could lay in it. You loved to have your face rubbed.. you would smoosh your face into the mattress. I don't think you ever understood that it made it that much harder to pet you. You were such a touchy cat! When I would pet you, your rump would always go up in the air. I called it y our sensor button. Even if I kissed that little spot by the tail, your rump would go up in the air. The three little dots in the back of your head.. I told you that the angels bowled with your head, because your head looked like a bowling ball. Of course it didnt, you were just so pretty. I liked to tease. You had each of your eyes rimmed with brown and black..just like you had eye liner on. You had pigeon toes : ) You used to ride on my shoulder. Daddy called you a parrot. Every night you slept with me. If you didnt come to bed, I knew something was wrong. Every morning you were there to greet me. I always had my Bunda to come home too. I know you missed me, as your eyes would look at me so lovingly. You used to sit next to me at home on the comptuer as I worked, and then in the apartment you would either sit on the floor or on the black chest. You were so dedicated. You were spunky up to the day you died. Before you got very sick you would still climb the cat tower. I was so proud of you, and I would say "Bunda is up high!!!" You looked so proud of yourself. You loved the little socker balls. Before you got too sick you would play with them. I still can't find that white mouse you used to play with. You stopped playing as you got older, but somtimes you would chase a feather. You loved to get brushed. Usually just your face though. I would call it brushes. You loved brushes. You were always there for me. You listed to everything. I loved you so very much. I always will. I knew the day would come we would have to say goodbye. I was prepared for that. Nothing could have prepared me for the way I feel with you gone. I am so lonley, and I miss you. Everything is so hard, and cold. Even the boys miss you. Its hard to say the words "Bunda died" Because it just doesnt seem real. I want you back so badly. I can't wait to see you again. Just like I told you, it will just be a little while. As soon as MOmmys time comes, I will be with you again. Wait for me my sweet, I will be looking for you. Watch over me, and the boys. Know that your Mommy loves you, and would have done anyting for you. I donated that kindey food, the one you had because your kindneys were starting to fail. I gave it to the cat shelter.. I didnt want it to go to waste. It was really expensive.. but I just didnt want to throw it out. I gave Janet the Senior soft cat foods for her cats. I keep going through the pictures I have off you. I am still desperately trying to get those pictures off of my cell phone. My cell phone has little teeth marks in the attenna from when you bit it :) You could be soo goofy. Sometimes you would play in the rafters at home, and get so dirty! You looked so gray! y ou would go outside and get burrs in your fur. Sometimes it took you a few days to clean up..something I never understood as you were so prissy about your fur. Sometimes you would even get crabby with me if I futzed with your paws or your tail. You knew your were gorgeous. You were supposed to be my dads cat. You ened up being my best friend. It was Theresa and Bunda. Thats just the way it was. My cousins had named you Calli.. but I knew that name would not fit you. You were my Bunda. Daddy actually named you. Bunda meant calico cat in German. I just taked on the Marie since it was my middle name as well. You had a million nick names and you knew them all. Some of them I dont know where I got them from, but you knew them all. Bundy, Bunda Lee, Bundas, Boogie, Boogerina, Boogina, Googie, Googina, Geebert, Bean, Beany, Le Le, Ge, Lezu, Googerina, Le, Ge Ge, Geena, Shkee, Shckeegee, Schkeburt, Scheebutt, Scheegert, Schkeegy Le, Princess Le Le, bean bean, Schbeen bean, geeny, geegers, googie girl, boogie rat, little girl.