|It was a cold day in March when you came into my life. Uncle Terel lifted you up and placed you in my arms. I had not seen a cuter shih tzu puppy. You were a tiny ball of fur. I fell in love with you with your first baby kiss. That day my life started anew with you as my birthday gift. You were my adoring child; I was a new mom, again. You were so tiny, I zipped you into my pink puff jacket for our trip home. You kept your eyes fixed on me. You were always beside me, following room to room. Every morning you showered me with enthusiasm and puppy smooches. We traveled a lot during your first year. You were sociable when people admired and petted you. Many joyful memories remain in my heart of the years we had together. Then, at age nine, you began to have trouble climbing stairs and I had to lift you on and off the bed. I thought you were starting to have arthritis. Our vet was unable to give a diagnosis and we tried different meds. I took you to a neuro vet who said you were having degenerative nerve disease. You could stand a short time except your coordination/motor ability was causing you a problem walking. Your courage and high spirit enabled your repeated attempts to walk, though unsteady, and you kept falling down. It broke my heart to see you like this. You were alert and responsive and your good appetite continued. I felt your quality of life remained, although changed. I carried you, brought water and food to you. Now you wore diapers and cotton clothing which kept your diaper from falling off and, yes, every day you looked so cute. You needed baths a lot now, which you enjoyed and that soothed you...then you always fell asleep on my bed when I covered you with your blanket. You were so snuggly and warm. I am grateful I did not have to leave home to go to work, so I was able to care for and comfort you in your final months. I was in denial that your health was beginning to fail. Eleven years of your devotion was not long enough. My tears flowed a lot as I contemplated when to make the dreaded appointment. You lovingly licked the tears from my face, causing me to cry more. I needed to consider what was best for you and and my sadness deepened at the thought of losing you. Our friend drove so I could hold you...I sobbed uncontrollably all the way, my face buried in your fur. In the waiting room papers were signed. You were quiet, your eyes fixed on me. You looked so beautiful. Doctor took your little leg and inserted the needle. In a second, he said you were gone. I was devastated. I told the doctor I was taking you home. You remained in my arms and we walked to the car. Once inside, we both hugged you and cried and cried. I held you until I was ready to part with you. I couldn't bear the thought of burying you then having to leave you behind if I moved. I wanted to keep you with me. I decided on cremation. Again more sobs as we said our final goodbyes. I am comforted now that your precious little spirit is here with me. I made a special place for you, "Baby's Place" with your pictures and a candle and beautiful cards from friends who love you, too. Their kind thoughts in written words comfort me. I still hold your favorite stuffed animal and your blankets and imagine you are again in my arms. Yes, lots of Mommy's tears still flow with thoughts of you. My beloved fur baby, my child, I miss you so much, Mommy;;;;July 1, a month has passed, I still miss you terribly, I hug your blankets and cry and cry. Love, Mommy****SEVEN WEEKS have passed and when I look at your beautiful photos and I love the ones with you smiling. There is just one Baby in my life. Mommy++++August 28, THREE MONTHS since I held you and said goodbye. My sadness remains and your garden, Baby's Place, is a comfort to me when I go out in the yard. You will always be "my beloved" Mommy.***SEPTEMBER 29, how can it now be four months without you? I miss you every single day. Mommy.*****October 28, FIVE MONTHS and I so wish I could bring you back for just a day to Hold you in my arms. Mommy.**** November 28,...I still find it hard to accept you are really gone from me; Thanksgiving in Atl and you were not with me ...you were a great little traveler. I miss you so much.####December, Christmas and I treasure the beautiful photos of you and how you loved your presents. Your garden is so comforting to me and I think of you every day...you are always in my heart, Love, Mommy^^^^I missed you so much during Christmas. My precious girl, there will never be another you. I wish I could hold you. I'm sure you were smiling when your Brother, Osiris, arrived at the Bridge. "Play and be happy, little ones." Hugs to each of you, Mommy.*****Happy Birthday, little girl...January 25th will always be a special day to me. I shall forever be thankful for the years we had together. Love, Mommy****May 16, almost one year since you went to Rainbow Bridge and I still wish you would come back to me. A piece of my heart went with you. Love, Mommy***ONE YEAR SINCE YOU were last in my arms. I will always long for the day you spot me at the Bridge and you jump into my arms (as you did when I came for you after your stay with Uncle Terel) then we will be together always. Love, Mommy.^^^^^January 25...your 13th birthday, I looked at all the wonderful pictures of you. Uncle Terel wrote that he received a reminder from his vet to bring you in for your annual visit. Baby girl, I miss you so much. Love, Mommy=====March 2005 you have a little brother, Harley D. He needed a Mom and I needed him to give my love to. He was very sick at 4 mos when I first held him. With my nurturing and love, he has grown to be a happy and healthy puppy. Then, suddenly, on December 2, 2005, just after Harley D. had his first birtday, he joined you at Rainbow Bridge and I'm sure you are together and happy. My sadness at losing each of you is constant. I now have Nikolas to nurture and love and he is very special as each of you are. The photos I have comfort me and keep you near me. Love, Mommy. JUNE 2012...a tiny kitten appeared in our yard in January and he was cold and hungry...he was a stray and I didn't know for sure if he would stay; in the morning he was asleep in a flower pot on the deck. After a few weeks I was convinced he had chosen his home to be with us so I got him to the vet and named him Valentine. He is very healthy and he leaps through the garden and woods, sidewinds and does his little chatter. This is now HIS kingdom!|
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