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I remember when you were just a baby-- how tiny you were in my hands as I carried you home. Home much you hated that carrier. And how you only wanted me-- it made me feel like a goddess, how I held you tiny life in my hands. You were not dealt the best hand, born with many medical problems. Your mind, as beautiful as it was, was not entirely there. Your little body had the weight of the world on its shoulders because you could not physically walk due to your legs being in their twisted state since birth. I was never truly upset that you couldn't use your box. What I was upset about is the life that you deserved and you never were able to have. I tried to give you the best possibly quality of life for while you were here. But when time went by, it seemed like your eating habits slowed and even your restroom departures under the kitchen table seemed to diminish. This wasn't until the end, when I had made the decision, and it was as if you had accepted what was inevitable. The sign I had received was that it had rained on two occasions in the last two weeks, when the Texas Panhandle hadn't had any sort of rain for over a year, not even a snow. But then, after making the call, the rain came and it had rained all night one night as I held you close to me. Your fur was wet many times often than not due to the tears that I shed for you. And all I can think was that I wanted your pain to stop. I wanted your suffering to stop. In the last week, I had made two videos of you, and even recorded the sound of your hauntingly beautiful purr. You weren't just a pet. You weren't just a member of my family. You crawled deep into the recesses of my soul, and you live there. And your spirit still dwells deep within. I have never, ever been so moved by an animal before. I could blame it for the fact that you were special needs, but I think it had more to do with the fact that you were mine. All mine. My little soulmate in kitty form. And looking back? I would have done it all over again. Many times over. You are my heart, my soul, my world. And I want you to know that like with all pain, it will scab over and when the scab removes there will be a little scar in its place. But it's not something of disdain, not something that mars. But a beautiful representation of your soft kitty paw prints on my soul. I know you are up there, playing, WALKING, rejoicing, and living life to its fullest. I am at my weakest, most emotional moment, and my life is full of pain right now. But it is the physical manifestation that I cling to. You are my beloved angel, an angel on disguise. And a true earth angel. But now you had to be returned, and though your beloved body will be returned back to me in the form of your ashes, you will always belong in my heart and in my soul. I love you so much, Chicken. Always and forever. |
Chicken's People Parent(s), Mina, would appreciate knowing you have visited their Chicken's Memorial Residency.
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