8/31/2015 - It's been three years yet it still seems and very much feels like it was only yesterday. I still carry you with me everywhere I go. I carry your favorite ball in my bowling ball bag - you're with me every time I "play ball". I know you're with us. I will see you again. LFD

8/30/2013- One year ago today at 9:25 AM your broken heart took you away to Heaven to be with Lori, Grammy, Toby, AJ, Panda, Little Guy, Reggie, Lady, Dutchess, Blackie and the rest of our two and four legged family that went ahead of you.

I THINK OF YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY. I CARRY YOU WITH ME ALWAYS. I SEE YOUR PICTURE ON MY PHONE SCREEN SAVER AND SO WISH YOU WERE HERE.

In February 2012 when the VCA vet told me you had to have your teeth cleaned I hesitated because we knew you had a heart murmur. She kept insisting it had to be done to protect your health and after getting the "go ahead, she's fine" from Purdue Cardiology I finally took you to VCA to have your teeth cleaned in July 2012. When I picked you up that evening they said "Oh, see she did just fine, no problems at all". Well, the truth is you didn't do "just fine". A few days later you were coughing. The VCA vet said it was just a throat irritation from the breathing tube. Later that evening she called to tell me the x-rays showed the beginning of fluid buildup in your lungs....the beginning of congestive heart failure.

We went to Purdue the next day where the Cardiologist did some tests and put you on medication. Soon everything looked under control. At your last appointment on August 28, 2012, they said you were doing great and didn't need to come back for six months. Two days later at that same hospital you died. I remember looking into your beautiful brown eyes as they performed CPR on you. I knew you were already unconscious but somehow knew you could still see us there. After three attempts I simply couldn't let you suffer any more and told them "Stop, let her go". I can't believe I said it but I knew it was time for you to move on. I couldn't stand to see you suffer any more than you already had. Six weeks after you left VCA with nice, clean teeth you were gone. Now I'm left with a hole in my heart that's impossible to fill and guilt that's impossible to describe.

I later found out that most Veterinarian Clinics do not have licensed anesthesiologists. I'm told Purdue University Veterinary Hospital has the only licensed anesthesiologists in the entire state of Indiana! Why didn't I ask more questions? If only I'd taken you there to have your teeth cleaned I probably wouldn't be writing this today.... I'm so sorry. I made a bad decision and now I've lost you for now....but I will be with you again some day.

To think it all began one evening in the fall of 2003 when I pulled into the garage after work in San Diego. Mom greeted me before I even got the car door open. In her arms was a tiny tan colored little bundle of joy. "This is Elfie. She was an abandoned puppy someone found at a construction site. Helen Woodward Rescue adopted her out but her new owners decided they didn't want to spend the time to house break her so they wanted to give her back. I got her instead. Can we keep her?" One look into those big, beautiful brown eyes and it was all over. It was truly love at first site. "Yes, we can." and so you joined our family. Our family would never be the same. So tiny yet so full of energy. So loving and trusting despite what you must have gone thru in the first few months of your life. It's like we'd always known you and you'd always known us. The bond was complete. I was yours and never wanted to let you go.

Mom & I both miss the wonderful excited greeting you would always welcome us home with. I've never had anyone jump, twirl, yelp and jump into my arms every time I walked thru the door like you always did. Every time I walk thru the door I hope you'll be there again.

We have such a special bond. While my two-legged family and "friends" demanded so much, you wanted so little. A belly rub, a scratch behind the ears, a back rub, playing catch with one of your favorite balls or simply to sit on my lap or lay beside me. I miss you. Mom misses you. I really miss playing ball with you. One of your balls rests beside your urn, the other I carry with me to the bowling alley each and every time I bowl. Teddy and Chipper miss you too. They changed a bit after you left. I know you watch over them and protect them when we're not with them much as you did when you had a physical presence here.

I'll sign off for now. I miss you. I love you. I'll be with you again.
Love Forever, Dad

9/16/2013- HAPPY BIRTHDAY. You're 11 today. Should be here... I really miss you. LFD

9/17/2013 - "It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the componenets of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are." - Anonymous- RIP sweet Elfie LFD

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