Spunky, (May 12, 1987-December 6, 2003)
No words can describe the loss I feel, and the pain of not having you in my life. You were the most loving cat I will ever know. You always put your family first, even during your last hours when you could not eat or drink, you still managed to purr for us one last time. Your eyes always gave away your unconditional feelings for us. Happiness was brought to you so easily, all you ever wanted was to sit on our laps, and be with us every minute. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure out that you were not begging for food, you only wanted a chair at the dinner table to be apart of the conversation. Most importantly, you taught me how to love with all of my heart from age 4 until now. No matter how bad my world got, you were always there to love me. There was nothing I wouldn't do for you in return. I'm sorry that sometimes when I was busy and you wanted to sit on me, I pushed you away. If I only had those moments again I would never deny you. I love how you would talk to me, as if we would have a conversation back and forth. Your meow "Mo... Mo" is a sound I will never forget, the most beautiful sound in the world. I love how you would sit on the piano bench and listen to me play, as you stared up at me. You were more than a cat; you were a member of the family, like a sibling. You never once bit, hissed or scratched anyone. You were like a beanie baby, and anyone could hold you for as long as they wanted, and you loved it. You always came when you were called, and "Mo'ed" all the way as if you were so happy someone wanted you. The truth is, you were wanted...and when I had to be at college, I thought about you everyday and wished you could be here with me. Your presence has this way of making every pain go away. You always knew, and wouldn't leave until you saw me smile again. I loved how when I would give you a kiss, you would put your paw on my cheek and reach your nose up to kiss me back. You were an angel... a pure gift from god. I am so grateful that we found each other and that I had the opportunity to spend 16 and a half of the most beautiful years of my life with you. I can't imagine life with out you. It feels so empty. It is the biggest loss I have ever had to face. During your last days, it broke my heart to see you sick. I hope you didn't suffer too bad, forgive us, but we were just not ready to let you go. I will think about you every minute for the rest of my life. I can not wait for the day when we meet again, and will never ever have to be apart. I just want to gaze into your big blue eyes one last time. You are so beautiful. Fuzzy loved you so much. He didn't leave your side for one minute while you were sick. He misses you very much, and often cries looking for you at night. We will take good care of him until you can be together again.
Spunky, my good little boy, I love you with all my heart. Mommy and Kristin miss you too and love you with all their hearts. Everyone who knew your love misses you as well. Thank you for "approving" Jason for me. I always valued your opinion and you treated him no different than the rest of your family. You knew he was a keeper, and you know he is good to me. You will always be "the boy." Don't be afraid. Let the angels take care of you...And soon there will be a beautiful day, when I can see your sweet face again.
1-22-04:
Spunks, I would give anything... anything for one more day to hold you in my arms. Nothing has ever been so hard, as waking up each day without you.
4-23-04
Spunks, I just want you to know that you are amazing- You never once failed, whenever I am missing you terribly, you show up in my dream that night. The dreams are so vivid and real, that I awake feeling like we were really together. I am thankful that you still come to me every time I cry. You are and always will be my best friend. I love you and miss you so much. 12-6-04
I can't believe it has been one year since you are gone. There is an emptiness inside that can't be explained. Something has been missing from my life since you left, and I learned that it can not ever be replaced. You highlighted my life with only joy and happiness, and I miss you more than anything. I often wonder how you are doing, whose lap you are sitting on, and where you sleep at night. I hope you are not lonely. I wish you were here so much. Fuzzy misses you too. I am taking good care of him, and when I mention your name, his eyes fill up and the fur on his tail stands up. He knows, and has not forgotten you. No one has. You left such an imprint on all of our lives, hearts, and thoughts. We are so thankful to have been blessed with you, "the boy". I send you love, kisses, and snuggles on this day...and while the world is mourning your loss, I hope that you are surrounded with love, peace, and happiness. Much love, Donna.
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Fuzzy (May 12, 1987- March 8, 2007)
Nearly 20 years you were apart of my life, I grew up with you since I was 4 years old. You saw me grow up and get married, and you moved with me to our first house. Fuzzy, life just doesn't feel right without you. Your love was so great, without you I feel so empty. I miss your big hellos in the morning when you hear the floor crack, and when I open the front door. I miss how your fur sparkled in the sun. I miss how you would grab my hand back when I stopped petting you because you wanted more. Fuzzy I don't know how to live without you in my life, because I never had to before, you were always there from age 4 to 24. I am so so grateful for the life I had with you. You are my best friend, and you are so special to me. After Spunky passed away, you and I had 3 years together. I hope you knew how much you were loved, with all the undivided attention you got. It gave us some time to get closer than we ever were. I love you buddy bear. I couldn't sleep last night, because I wasn't sure that I made the right decision. It has been such a long road, and I felt that you didn't deserve to suffer another day. When you stopped eating, and were not even interested in a shrimp, I knew this time was it. But I still can't believe you are not in the house, it is so painfully empty. Little Wuz, you were the best cat in the world; you were more than anyone could ever ask for. A true friend. You were so selfless...you didn't want me to be upset that you were sick, so you would protect me by standing tall and pretending you felt well. I wish you hadn't suffered so badly the last year. You didn't deserve it. I can't believe you are not here, and that I am typing these words. It feels like I am in a nightmare. I woke up this morning and you were not here, I just can't believe you are gone. I hope you are with Spunky now. I can only hope and have faith that we will all be together again someday. Without that faith, this pain would be too much to bear. I have to believe that you boys will be waiting for me, and that you are happy, warm, cared for, and free from pain. I guess I'm worried about you because I don't know where you are, and I can no longer care for you. I miss caring for you, I miss your big whiskers, I miss your blue eyes, I miss your unconditional love, I miss your paws, I miss your smell, I miss the sounds you made when you ate, I miss how you would talk to me back and forth. I just can't believe this is it. Fuzzy I love you so much with all my heart. You will always be with me. Please give me a sign that you are ok. I need to know that you are ok. 3-23-07 Hey buddybear. I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. I really miss you. It has been so hard the last 2 weeks without you. I miss your snuggles, I miss your smile, and I miss that little wrinkle between your eye and your ear when you sleep. I wish I could hug you again. A couple times when I came home, I forgot you were gone and I said "Hi Fuz" when I came through the front door...but you never answered, and then I remembered the painful reality. I picked up your ashes on Tuesday, but you haven't given me a sign yet that you are ok yet. I will wait and hope that one comes soon, love. My locket came in finally, with your name and Spunky's name on it. I put both your beautiful pictures in there from when you were young and healthy, and I wear it everyday. I want you to know how much I love you, and miss you. Kiss Spunky for me. I send you both love, my good boys. Sleep well.
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To both of my boys- The best cats in the word-
You were loved with all my heart, and by many. Your love for your family will always be remembered. The boys. If only I could turn back time for one more day together. I'd take you down the shore to see the seagulls. Much love,
Donna 3/8/08
Hi Buddybear. Today is your one year anniversary and I feel like I am reliving your loss all over again. I still have worries as to whether or not I made the right decision for you. Sometimes I wish I had someone come to the house, so you wouldn't have had to take that awful ride to the vet. I know you are with Spunky, Gram, and Pop Pop, but I still wish that I had a sign that you are ok. I adopted a cat named Meadow, and though he can never replace you and Spunky, he has been a good friend to me. Fuzzy I just want you to know how much I miss you and how much I love you, and how sorry I am for how you suffered the last year of your life. You didn't deserve that. Always know that I think about you each day and hope that you are happy, safe, and comfortable. I know you are snuggling with Spunky right now, and I take comfort in knowing you boys are together. One day we will see each other again, and what a happy day that will be. Until then, you will both be in my heart and thoughts everyday. I am who I am because of you both, and I am so grateful to have had you both. Talk to you soon, good boys.
12/12/11
Hello my boys, it has been such a long time since I have visited your page, but not a day has gone by where I have not thought about you. Spunky, I can not believe it has been 8 years since I last saw you. Fuzzy, I can not believe has been almost 5. Losing you both was the hardest thing I have faced in my life so far. I miss you both so much, and find that I really haven't been able to love my new cat like you. It isn't his fault, he is very sweet, but I just don't have the same kind of love for him. I talk about you both all the time, and still get tearful when I think about your last moments here. I even get tearful when I remember the good times too. You both were such an important part of my life. I don't want my memories of you to fade with time. I want to remember you like it was yesterday. I am scared of forgetting special moments, and details. I don't want you to fade :(. But you will not be forgotten ever, I promise you that. I would give anything to hug you both right now. I wish you both were here to meet my son, little Jay. You would love him. You both loved babies so much. It would have been so special if you could have seen him. I will check back in on you again. Until then, take care of each other, and watch over us down here. We love you and miss you everyday. One day we will be together again <3.
Love,
Donna
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3/8/2015 Wow Fuzzy, I can't believe it has been 8 years and over 11 for you Spunky. Isn't it crazy how fast time goes now? I still think of you both often. Little Jay wishes he could have met you both. I showed him videos of you both and he said you were cute and sweet. It was great to see you on tape! It helped me remember all the little details that were fading with time. I had no idea that tape even existed :). You always visit me in my dreams :) Also, our dog is getting sick. Fuzzy you remember him, he was there for you when you were sick. Spunky, you didn't get a chance to meet him. He loves cats. If he should be coming to rainbows bridge soon, I know you will take good care of him for us. I want you to know that am missing and loving you both always. You are not forgotten. Love, Donna PS: Say hi to Mimi and Grand Pop R. for me. They recently passed away too. 3/9/2016 Hello my sweet boys. We added a new addition to our family after Cuban died and after I beat cancer. We have a baby seal point Siamese named Drew. He reminds me of you both so much. Fuzzy, his fur sparkles in the sun like yours and he plays fetch. Spunky, he sits on my lap and gives kisses like you. He celebrates when I come home by running around the house like the both of you. Sometimes I feel like he is a combination of both of your souls. I think about you so much more now that I have his cute face as reminder. How blessed I am to have had 3 Siamese cats touch my life. Drew has been a great friend and had helped me move on from my cancer diagnoses that came just a week after my last letter to you in 2015 (March 14 2015). Everything should be ok now. Jaydon is doing well, he is in Kindergarten this year and loves it. I wish you both were here. We all miss you very much. I wish I knew how you are and what things you have been up to. Are you with Cuban? Give him hugs and kisses for us, we miss him so much too. It hasn't even been a year, and nothing has been the same without him. You all touched our lives in so many ways. You were and are the best friends anyone could ever have. You make my soul happy and my heart smile. Missing you always. Talk soon.
Love,
Me 3/9/2017
Hello boys, I wanted to stop by again and let you know that I am thinking of you. Fuzzy, 10 years has gone by in a blink. At this rate, we will be together again soon enough! Everything is still really well here. Drew is an amazing friend and companion. Jaydon is doing well in school, and so far things are good with my health. I want you to know you will never be forgotten. You were the 2 truest friends I had growing up, and I thank you for all the love you have given me over the years. You are always here in my heart. Know how much I love you both and miss you. <3 3/9/2018
Dear boys, I am thinking of you today and everyday. I love you both and miss you always. Things are going really well. Drew, Meadow, Jason, and Jaydon are all doing great! I couldn't ask for much more. I hope that you are both feeling great up there. Sending all my love xoxo. <3 3/8/2020
Dear boys, I hope you are both doing well! I love you still. Guess what, I am 5 years in remission this year, and they consider me cured of non-hodgkins! I am very grateful. Much has changed since my last letter. We welcomed identical twin boys last year, and they are 1 now. Jaydon loves being a big brother, and Drew is getting used to the noise which we never had before. I am sure you know by now that Meadow died 3 weeks ago of kidney failure. My wish is that you boys, Cuban, and Meadow are all together feeling great and enjoying your days with all of your friends. I think of you often, but with smiles these days. Drew has been an amazing companion, I can't believe he will be 5 soon. I am not sure where the time goes, but I feel like each year passes quicker than the next! Jaydon is going to be 10 and he is in 4th grade. Life just keeps moving. I am enjoying this season of my life. There has been abundant peace, and many happy times. Coming off the numerous tragedies of years past, this is a welcomed change. I know things can always change in an instant, so I am always grateful for each day and for all the good times. Fuzzy on your 13th anniversary and Spunky on your 16th, I am writing to let you know that your memory still lives on, you are not forgotten, and how grateful I am for the time that we had when you were here. Until the day we meet again. Xoxo, Me 3/8/2022
Dear boys,
Hi! Well, I'm still here! It's been a great 2 years. I was able to not work for a year and home-school during COVID. Then, I got an amazing job, a permanent role with a great company and it's 100% work from home. We just bought an RV and spent 2 weeks in Florida. The twins celebrated their 3rd birthday in the keys and we took Drew and Meli. Drew loved watching all the different types of birds from the window. We have booked several more trips for this year and a month in Florida next winter too! Jaydon will be home-schooling and we can work remotely so heck, why not? Get busy living or get busy dying, as the saying goes. I still think of you and love you both so much. Has it really been 18 years and 15 years? I guess I'm getting old! Well, I will be turning 40 this year. I was 5 when I got you guys :) I remember the day we took you both home like it was yesterday. I wish and hope you both are happy and having fun each day. Say hi to everyone for me. Talk again soon.
Love,
Me 3/8/2024
Dear boys,
I wanted to check in today as I remember you and how difficult this day was oh so many years ago. Much has changed (again). We had a surprise baby (at age 40 no less)! They told me after cancer and chemo we would always need IVF. Even before cancer and chemo in 2015, we needed interventions and had the hardest time creating our family. With almost 20 years of trying and failing, we never imagined it would just happen on it's own. So, on March 24, 2023, we had James (Jamie). He has been the biggest surprise yet and such a blessing to our family. It just reinforces God is still working miracles in everyone's lives and still answering prayers (even though this was an extremely late answer to a prayer from long long ago, lol). We really had completed our family with the twins, but I suppose God had other plans for us! As a result, we also moved in the fall of 2022 to a much bigger house near mom. We kept our old house and are renting it. Jason found a job right down the street and we are going back to Florida next year. The kids are all home schooled and I still work from home which has been fantastic. I guess you can say things are going very well over here and we have no complaints. We still have Drew, and he does remind me of you both all the time. I still love you and miss you, but I feel very much at peace even though I have not seen you in so long. I know there is another life to come and I know I will see you again. I also know that where you are is much better than where you were here and it will be even better when we are all together again.
Remembering you today and sending all my love.
Love,
Donna
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