Gremlin. Who would have thought such a crazy little, eat so fast you'd throw up could steal our hearts without us looking. |
Coming up with just a few memories seems a hard task given how crazy you were. These are just a couple of the ones off the top of our heads.
* Our games of fetch or just cuddling was enough for you but if you saw your scooby-do ball the rest of us didn't matter. You played with that ball so much it lost all its air and held no shape but that too didn't matter. The very thought of throwing that ball away was unthinkable. How amazingly happy I am to have kept your ball. I will confess I can't look at it yet. I can't look at anything that reminds me of you yet.
* Your eating manners could have improved but who could come between a cat and his broccoli. Yes my dear, a vegetable. And my oh so forever hungry little guy. You ate so fast. It was everywhere when you were done and neatly emptied that full belly of perfectly shaped nuggets where you so chose.
* You weren't big okay maybe just a little but dear how was it possible you taking up the entire bed? What a heat magnet you were. And I couldn't move because you always lodged yourself against my side. You wouldn't move no matter how many times I asked. You wouldn't get mad when I finally couldn't take it anymore and scooched you away enough to move. You plopped right back down and sleep some more.
* Speaking of plopping. You did that no matter where you were. You were not graceful. If you wanted a belly rub, down you went. Heck Gremlin, if we just walked by you, plop down you went.
So many more but just enough for now.
3/28/21 - Hey little guy. 15 days. Not a single day goes by without a thought of you. We bought a new couch and you would have liked it. It's big so you could have your own cushion but knowing you you'd be right at my side. I miss you Gremlin. So much. oxoxox
5/7/21 - Oh G it's 2:30 in the morning and I have been thinking about you a lot today. Dad was pushing me down the hallway, oh yeah I broke my ankle and all of a sudden the memory of you racing us to the bedroom hit me like a ton of bricks. You always beat us but you'd also turn around to make sure we were still behind you. Oh baby why did you have to go? You were my little guy. I am still in shock that you aren't here. Will I ever get used to you not being on my side of the bed when I walk in to lay down? Will I stop calling Finn Gremlin? I think Finn misses you. You both were attached at the hip. We don't see much of him during the day but you both slept all day so no surprise there. He's just found new places to sleep. Well my love, mom will be back soon. Right now you'd be asleep at my hip. I love you G!
8/10/21 - 5 months little boy. I was talking to daddy about some things about you and what I missed and bam I broke down. I let lose and had a hard cry. It didn't make me feel better though. You are gone. I will never get to cuddle with you again. Plop. That's how you laid down. Just plop. Oh yeah we moved. The house has carpet. I know you'd like it but I would miss you sliding on the wood floor your butt in front of your head when you turned a corner chasing Finn. Oh sweet boy. I really could use a cuddle right now. Finn isn't the cuddle type but sadly I can't connect with him. Is it because he's a loner cat with his humans? Though he definitely prefers dad. He'll sleep next to me but there's nothing there. I try, I've come a long way. I had a thought though. What if it's because Finn is your son? All I know is I want you home G. Please.
3/4/22 - Oh my little boy. It will be one year on 3/13/22. I am so sorry for not coming here to talk to you. It was just too hard, and life got in the way. My baby boy. I wish you were here. I need you. I want to hold you. It still hurts like crazy. I still cry. I am dreading the day we lost you. A stroke. Why? I keep asking myself that. You were fine one minute & gone the next. Well my love. I will be back very soon. It will be hard my little man but you come first. I love you sweetheart.
5/5/22 - Please forgive me my love. Your birthday came & went. I didn't come & write anything. I couldn't. I thought of you & cried. You weren't supposed to leave me. A year Gremlin. How is that possible? Daddy & I were walking through a store & saw a ball. You would have loved it. We both thought of you. I still can't look at your things I sorry I haven't been here to talk to you. The tumor came back so chemo took up my most of my time. It's back again so more chemo. I'll try to do better coming here to say hi. I'll be seeing you & I can't wait. My love for you will never change. ❤️