11/5/2017: The worst and saddest day of my Life because I had to give you back to Jesus. Your holistic veterinarian is amazing because I texted her and told her you weren't doing well. She came in on her day off to give you a check up and she gave mommy and daddy bad news. Mommy loves you so much and I didn't want you to suffer or be in pain. Mommy held you, petted, kissed and talked to you while your dogtor gave you a shot to sedate you first. Next your doctor gave you the 2nd shot that would send you to heaven to see Jesus. Mommy held, kisses,petted and talked to you for awhile. It broke my heart to lose you, but I know I did the right thing and kept you from a painful and suffering death. I had to hand you over to your dogtor. I can't stop crying, can't sleep, lost my appetite. My world revolves around you since you were a baby and now you're in Heaven.

11/6/2017: I'm struggling with losing you sweet baby boy. How am I supposed to live without you? I don't want to live without you. Day 1 without you and I'd do anything to be with you. The tears and pain of you not here is unbearable.

11/7/2017: Day 2 without you. I picked out your beautiful urn and paw print photo engraved plaque. I cried the whole time. All I want is to be with you, hug, kiss, hold and snuggle you. You're The Love of My Life and that'll never change ever!

11/8/2017: Day 3 without you. I'll never get used to you not sleeping in bed with me and me hugging and holding you as we fall asleeep. I'll never sleep good again until we're together again. I still have no appetite because we always ate together and shared food. If Love and tears could've kept Jesus from calling you home. You would have never had to leave.

11/9/2017: Day 4 without you. I've been wearing your collar on a thin ribbon around my neck since you left and I think I'll wear it forever until we're together again and I can give it back to you. Gifts and cards have started to arrive today in your memory. I know I talk to you a lot and cry to you and send you hugs and kisses and all my Love. I hope I'm not annoying you and Mommys sorry if I am.

11/10/2017: Day 5 without you. Today I went shopping for all the things I want to make for your memorial. The last blankets you snuggled with mommy on and under I continue to snuggle, smell and hold them. I'll never wash them so I can remember your smell. I invite you to go everywhere mommy goes and it's become cold outside so I bring your blankets and also tell you to stay tucked in my coat. I am grateful you went shopping with me in my mind and in my heart to help me buy things for the beautiful memorial I'm doing for you. I also want to do a celebration of your life also. I'm going to make a donation to a dachshund rescue in your name and loving memory. I beg Jesus daily to come back to earth and take mommy to heaven so we can be together.

11/11/2017: Day 6 without you. I know I'll never stop missing you and crying for you and loving you so much. I think back to the first time I saw you and how our eyes, hearts, and souls connected and it was Love at first site and forever Love. You'll always be my baby boy and I cherish every second with you always. God Blessed me with just shy of 20 years with you and I'm so grateful for that, but the mommy in me and my Love for You wants you longer.

11/12/2017: Today is exactly One week without you. One week since my heart was ripped out and I had to send you back to Jesus because I didn't want you to suffer and I hope and pray you weren't suffering that dreadful morning one week ago. I don't think you were and your doggy dogtor said you weren't. I knew when I looked into your eyes even though you were mostly blind, but I've looked into your eyes so much and the look in your eyes was different and I knew you were telling me it was time to go to Jesus. You and Jesus also told my heart one week ago it was time. Please know if your vet and i could've done anything to save and help you we would've. Had to show and give you my last act of Love and prevent you from suffering. I Love You enough to break my heart and send you gently and peacefully to heaven to Jesus. Please wait for me and save me a spot next to you because I'm coming to you a baby boy!

11/13/2017: Today I'm going to be busy working on the things I went shopping for the other day for you. I'm clearing off my dresser for you and your memorial things in preparation for tomorrow when your remains come home. It helps me feel a little better when I'm doing things for you and honoring you. Everything still makes me cry and miss you and I know I'll feel that way for the rest of my life because You're the Greatest Gift from God and I Love You so Much. I'm not ashamed to spend the rest of my life crying for and missing you because my Love for You is so deep that the pain of losing you is so Great! Mommy Loves You Sweet Little Baby Angel Boy!

11/19/2017. Today is 2 weeks since I had to give you back to Jesus. I wish I could tell you it hurts less, but that would be a lie. They say it gets better in time, but I don't believe that cause I'll never stop loving you, missing you and wanting to be with you. 2 whole weeks without being able to hold, hug, kiss, pet or breathe you in and it's killing me. Is five anything to be able to visit you even. This world truly sucks and is so cruel because nobody should have to give back the baby they Love more than anything in the world including my own life. Baby boy I would've spent all the money in the world to fix or heal you unfortunately it wasn't up to me. God wanted you back so bad and he made sure I couldn't fix you. I'm so sorry mommy couldn't make everything better I know you trusted me too. The only option was to give you back gently and peacefully so you didn't have to suffer or be in pain. I'll Always Love You and Never Forget You. My heart belongs to only you and I know that's how well know each other when were together again. I Love You so much my sweet little baby boy. Your truly mommy's angel and have always been.

11/23/2017. Hi my sweet baby boy angel. Today is Thanksgiving and you went to heaven 2.5 weeks ago. It's my 1st Thanksgiving without you and I'm struggling. Today I cried a few times already and I miss you so much and wish heaven had visiting hours. Anyways, I think you have me a sign today that you're still here with me. I spend alot of time talking to you and telling you how much I Love You and I'll Always Love You Forever and I can't wait until were together again. Mommy went to the store to get batteries for your flameless candles and mommy and daddy were heading to breakfast. Suddenly, the Endless Love song from the 80s came on the satellite radio and we almost never listen to that station. I think you played that song for mommy to let me know I'm your endless love too and you're still here with me. If that was you my precious and very handsome sweet little boy. Mommy Thanks You from the bottom of my heart so much for that. You're my Endless Love too my sweet little baby boy Angel. Happy Thanksgiving in Heaven my Kasey Love and keep watching and waiting for me to come join you up there in heaven. I miss you so bad and I Love You so much my soul mate and true love. I hope God is making you Thanksgiving dinner cause you love the eating holiday. I'll ask him to make it for you and feel free to come visit mommy my sweet pea. I'm sending you big hugs and lots of kisses to you. I Love You so much my sweet baby boy angel Kasey.

11/26/2017: Good afternoon sweet baby boy. Today is 3 weeks since I was able to hold, hug, kiss, snuggle and Love you. The pain in my heart from your absence will never go away. I miss you so much. I cry alot still. This has been the longest 3 weeks of my life and I hate it. It makes me mad that heaven don't have visiting hours. I've asked God alot to allow you to come visit even if just for a minute. Baby Boy I would give anything to have even 1 minute with you. I Love You so much and always will and I'll never stop missing or forget you. Keep sleeping with Jesus and the Angels and save mommy a spot next to you and keep watching for me. When the time is right God will allow me to leave the dark and follow you to the light. Hugs and kisses sweet baby boy angel. Mommy Loves You Always.

12/3/2017: Today is one month since I had to give you back to Jesus. I miss you so much and want so bad that you didn't have to go to heaven. Your wings were ready, but my heart wasn't. I cry for you and I hate that I can never hold, hug and kiss you again. Heaven should allow visiting hours it's so not fair. I Love You more than life and I'm so sorry you suddenly took so ill and there was no cure and I broke my heart and gave you back to Jesus so you wouldn't suffer or be in pain. Your vet said that there was nothing and I Love you so much I shattered my heart to give you a peacefully trip to heaven. Mommy will always love you,miss you, and cry for you. Save me a spot in heaven and wait for mommy cause your the first I'll look for when it's my time to leave the dark and enter the light with you. Hugs and kisses my baby boy Angel.

12/10/17: Good morning sweet baby boy. Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm so sad it's my 1st birthday in 20 years without you to share it with. I know your healthy, running free, and enjoying heaven and God is taking great care of you, but it still hurts so much not having you here with me. Two weeks ago you tugged my heart when I saw 2 daschund puppies and I wasn't even wanting to consider another for months. I know you picked them and tugged my heart to get them. Your baby brothers just arrived 2 days ago and they have already gave me a sign that they are from you. Thank you so much my sweet baby love. I still cry and miss you so much. The pain of losing you is unbearable. I know you'll help take care of your new baby brothers and you'll always be with us and watch over us. When mommy gets to heaven it'll be my turn to take care if you again and I can't wait. I put your Christmas tree up and your Christmas stocking is up too. Please come visit and enjoy your tree, candle and let mommy know your here. I'm sending you tons more hugs and kisses sweet baby boy Angel. My heart is all yours and I Love You Forever Always. I hope your getting everything you want up there and your being the boss. Have a great day baby and remember I Love You more than ever and I'll never forget you ever my special baby boy.

12/11/17: Hi sweet angel angel. Today is hard for me it's my first birthday in 29 years without you to share it with. I didn't even decorate or buy steak or anything because not having you here makes non of it matter. Your paw print plaque came and its so beautiful. I cry and hold it and hold your pawprints and wish you were here and not so far away. Life is not the same without you and I hate it. I'd give anything to be with you, see you, hug you, kiss you, hold you and snuggle with you. The 2 babies you sent me are so sweet and cute and remind me alot of you. They do a few things like you did. We Love and miss you so much my Angel.

12/17/17: Today is 6 weeks without young and its not any easier than the day you left. I'm working on your memorial.

12/25/2017: My 1st Christmas without you and you loved Christmas, presents and your Christmas tree. Its so hard and I dont know how to do life without you. I'm grateful you chose Leeym and Ryelee to keep me company, but I really wish you were here to meet them. They remind me alot of you.

1/1/2018: I always gave you Happy New Years hugs and kisses and its just not the same without you my sweet Love. My heart hurts and aches for you all the time.

1/20/2018: I had my 5th ankle rebuild today and my 1st surgery without you snuggled with me. Leeym & Ryelee are listening to you and helping keep me company. We talk to you all the time and invite you to play with us and snuggle all the time.

2/14/2018: I miss you so much all the time and you're always my Valentine and my True Love. My heart is forever broken without you.

3/24/2018: Its your 20th Birthday today and were having a party for you and sending you a party to Heaven. I hope you love it. I can't stop crying and wish so bad you were here. Happy Heavenly Birthday my Sweetest Angel. I Love You Always.

4/7/2018: I hate Delaware with you not here or there. I cant sleep there and its just too hard to be there without you my Precious Baby Kasey Kakes!

5/5/2018: I started school and Leeym and Ryelee are growing so fast just like you did. Your teaching them so well and we Love that you come visit and give us signs your here, but we miss you so much. We Love You more than words can say and I hope you dont mind I still talk to you all the time.

6/1/2018: I keep decorating and changing your decorations and for your stroller too. I really hope you look down and smile about it.

7/4/2018: How are the fireworks in Heaven my sweet baby boy? Nothing is the same without you. I hardly ever eat steak, chicken or roast beef because they were your favorites and I just can't enjoy eating them without you. Someday in Heaven we'll enjoy them together again.

8/12/2018: I know people say it gets easier and to move on, but all I know is I miss you always.

8/30 - 9/14/2018: We are in Navarre Florida for 2 weeks and I Love it here and especially because you gave me so many signs you were with and it made me so happy. Thank you for the Rainbow you sent me when Leeym, Ryelee and I were on our walk anf talking to you. Thank you for always being the Greatest Boy ever. Mommy Loves and misses you so much all the time.

11/5/2018: Today is your 1 year Angelversary! It's been a very hard year having to learn to live without you my Sweetest Baby Boy. The tears still flow, sometimes not as often, but I never stop missing and loving you. On good days I think of you and smile. I'm forever grateful for every second we had together and I find comfort in that we all will be together again. Today I will perform acts of kindness in your Loving Memory and name. All my Love, hugs and kisses from Mommy and my truly shattered heart from missing and losing you. I know there will be an amazing 1 year celebration party in Heaven for you today. Enjoy your party sweetheart and come visit when you can. I tell myself every day that passes is one day closer until we are together again my #1 Love and Handsome Angel.

3/24/2019. Today's your 21st Birthday and I miss you all the time. I hope you enjoyed your party I sent you to Heaven. I know your party in Heaven is Amazing, but I wish you were here with me. May you know how much I Love and miss you always. I truly wish Heaven allowed visiting hours. Its just so unfair that I had to give you back, and I can't visit you. Happy Birthday my Sunshine. Please come visit soon. No heart in the world will be greater than mine. I Love You more than anything just like when you were here. I apologize that I still cry and my singing to you is all blubbery. I Love You Sweet Kasey Kakes. You own my heart forever. Hugs and kisses my Handsome Sweet Baby Boy.