Kola I fell in love with you the first time that I saw you. You were with me for over thirteen wonderful years.You showed the vets! Ha!They said you would live maybe 10 years max for your breed mix. I said that because you were so loved it would be different. A little over a month ago, I heard the most hearbreaking and frightening words "brain tumor". It was so sudden and ever since my heart has ached missing you baby girl.I am so grateful though that you were happy and yourself until that awful weekend ... I will never forget the hours sitting in the emergency vet all through the night alone while everyone around me had someone with them. Mama even slept there in a chair and went and wrote a final exam ... like a zombie the next day and with you Ko girl on my mind.Trying to get an 85 lb you into a cab ... without help from the driver was not fun, but you always gave me "Kick ass" determination ... I would have moved mountains for you for the unconditonal love and joy you gave to me. Everyone always says I am such a strong woman and I truly believe that I can contribute that,in part,to you showing me that there is unconditional love in this world. It snowed a lot yesterday and it made me think of all of the silly things we would do in the snow like make snow angels and you would use your nose as a plow! I thought of how during a heavy snowfall we would be the only two outside catching snowflakes and playing in the snow! Even blizzards. I hope you hear me when I tell you still that I love you every night and in the morning when I wake up. I miss you bounding into the kitchen for your peanut butter toast. Billy and Lilly sleep on your toys and haltie and purr. Sometimes Billy stands up on his back legs and rubs his face against your leashes hanging by the front door. I'll keep them there Ko baby. Tomorrow I will pick up your leash, collar, paw print and ashes. I haven't been able to do it yet because a part of me thought that it would make things so final and it is December now and a hard time for mama. I feel that now I am at peace with it and I think of all of the tragic things you helped me with and I am using that strength now. You were my best friend, private k-9 unit, confidant, healer and angel on earth. Enjoy your Rainbow friends and have sweet dreams. A friend who also lost her pooch recently recommended this site for a memorial to you. You know I am not big on religion/heaven thing,and thought this might be chessey, but losing a pooch like you makes me a mush. I believe Rainbow Bridge is just for furbabies because you give us all so much joy. For that, I believe that you do live on in someway, other than just in memory. I wish more than anything that I could have you back with me baby girl because I miss you so much and my heart feels broken into a million pieces!! I know though that you are needed up there now as an angel. 100 kisses Sweetpea ... it is not goodbye Kola only until we see each other again. When you do baby girl I'll have the biggest stick for you to catch, mcDS fries and the biggest smile you have ever seen! We'll sit in the sun for awhile,eat (and you'll sneak from fries :) ), play and then cross over Rainbow Bridge together Love forever and always Mama XOXO
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