You weren’t supposed to be my dog. I had just moved in with my friends Teri and Alan, when her brother decided that a yorkie and a small child didn’t mix. Silly them, they kept the kid and sent you to live with Teri. But within days, you decided that regardless of what we thought, I belonged to you. And for the next eleven years, you traveled with me, sharing life’s ups and downs. You made the move with me when I left Missouri to attend Nursing School in Indiana. You were happy to keep Mom company during the day while I was in classes. Your little heart could always stretch to make room for one more. Although she did always joke that as soon as I came home, she might as well have been invisible. You couldn’t help it, you were such a Momma’s girl. I’ll never forget the time Aunt Barb was being “bad” and kept stealing your rawhide chew away from you. She thought it was cute how you’d grab it back and lay your chin on it to protect it. Later, when she fell asleep on the floor watching tv, you saw your chance to get even. Clever girl, you snuck over and stole her lighter, then ran to hide it in your special place under the end table. She caught you when you went back to get her cigarettes, but not before you’d taken them under the table, too. When I started travel nursing, you came along through each move. Happily exploring each new place. You were such a trooper on those long drives to our new “home”. From Indiana, to Virginia, Ohio and finally, to California. The drive was made longer because you insisted on stopping at every rest stop along the way, so you could mark your spot in every state we passed through. But I didn’t mind, we both needed a chance to stretch our legs and enjoy the scenery a bit. I framed the picture of you on Sasha’s boat in Maryland. You were so silly the day we went swimming in the river. You couldn’t believe that I would actually leave you on the boat, and kept climbing out on the back to look for me. Finally, worried that you might jump off the boat, I held you while I floated in the water. For once, you didn’t mind getting all wet, just so long as you were with me. When Ray joined our family in January, you didn’t mind. You were happy to have another person to wait on you and love you like the little Princess you were. And like everyone else you ever met, he couldn’t help but love that little angel face. You were there for me, in those dark days, when I lost my sister Laurie and Mom in just a few short months of each other. And only a year later, my nephew Matthew joined them. We were in California then, and I felt so lost and alone and far away from everyone I knew and loved. I would hold you close and cry, finding comfort in the warmth of your tiny little body. I held you close that final night, too. When you started your last journey without me. I tried so hard to be brave, so you’d know it was okay to go, but I couldn’t help crying. I knew you were going to a better place, where you’d always be young and healthy and free of all the problems you’d faced in life. I just couldn’t stand the thought of not having you here to come home to, of no more snuggles and belly rubs and sweet KoKo kisses. I want so much to hold you just once more and have you lay your little head on my shoulder again. But I know that you’re with Mom and Laurie and Matthew. They’ll play with you and love you, until it’s time for me to join you at the Rainbow Bridge. I love you, Baby Bean. ~~Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you. That is how I know you go on. Far across the distance, and spaces between us, You have come to show you go on. Near, far, where ever you are, I believe that the heart does go on. Once more, you open the door. And you’re here in my heart and my heart will go on and on. You’re here, there’s nothing I fear. And I know that my heart will go on. We’ll stay, forever this way. You are safe in my heart and my heart will go on and on.~~ The Heart Does Go on (Celine Dion)

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