My dear, sweet Margo-no words will come close to giving you the tribute you are so very deserving of. I am praying that God will open my heart, pour out the tremendous love, and somehow put it into words. On December 14, 2001, I was at the park and saw you. My heart just broke. You had clearly been abandoned; I absolutely know that you were sitting in the very spot where they dumped you, waiting for them to come back for you. How do I know this? Because, honey, our hearts reached out and connected before I ever got anywhere near you. You wouldn't let anyone near you until one of the other dogs came to you. He let you know you would be safe with us. You slowly came to me; you were so very sad and afraid. It was clear that horrible things had been done to you, and then you were just dumped. I knew that you were to be my kid. You didn't want to get in the car. Why would you-your last car ride was certainly not a good experience for you. When I got you home, you were afraid to go in the house. When I got you inside, it became obvious that you had never been inside. You were afraid of the TV, of everything; you didn't know what anything was. For quite awhile, you cowered when I would even walk toward you. It didn't take too long though, for you to realize that you were loved and safe. I told you from Day 1 that I would never, ever leave you or hurt you. Your true, beautiful self just blossomed. Everyone who ever met you, even "non-animal people" fell in love with you. You were a love magnet because you exuded pure love. I am amazed every day of my life at the ease and the grace with which you were, and are, able to trust, love, and give so completely and unconditionally. I am in awe of your beautiful spirit. People who saw you in the very beginning have said, "She is a different dog! She has come so far." Yes, you have indeed come a long, long way. You have endured and overcome so much in your all-too-short life in this world. You have done it with acceptance, with grace, and with gratitude. It breaks my heart to know that you were in so much pain every day of your life. I truly believe you were born with the pain, but you are an absolute trouper and let nothing stop you. Oh, my precious girl, I wanted so much to take care of you and help you feel better. Nothing seemed to work and you got progressively worse. I've worried and struggled and agonized for the last couple of months. In the last week or two, I noticed drastic changes. I have told you for years that I do not want you to take on my pain and I do not want you to suffer for me. You did take on my pain; in so many ways we are a mirror image of each other. Much of your physical pain is the exact nature and location of mine. You have carried me through SO much "stuff". I have always felt badly about that; as your mommy it is my job to take care of you and your "stuff". Many people told me that you were here to help me. You went way above and beyond. Sweetheart, you changed my life; you saved my life. I am a much better person because God blessed my life with you. I'm tempted to say you have no idea what you have been, are, and always will be to me. But you know. You know much better than I do. I can only hope that I have been a fraction of the blessing in your life that you have been in mine. You have always been a special girl, and I have always valued our relationship. But since it has been just the two of us, the bond we have is bigger, more beautiful and more special than I have words for. It hit me about two months ago as I was struggling through my "stuff" and questioning everything in my life, that YOU are a living, breathing, walking, SHINING example of how to be in this world. You are beautiful, sweet, precious, PERFECT, PURE love. I always knew that and told you that, but it took me a very long time to "get it" that God put you in my life to show me that I need to let that part of me live in this world. I am so grateful that He entrusted your care to me. It is beyond my comprehension. Again, I am a changed and much better person because of you. You reached places in my heart that had never seen the light of day. You did that effortlessly. You have the most gorgeous, soulful eyes. I literally could look in your eyes and see your Divine soul. You have the most beautiful smile. Even though you suffered so much pain, you smiled, you loved, you gave everything you had. You made my life, Margo Richardson. Over the last week, I looked into those eyes and saw that you were miserable. It had all become too much. I could literally feel your pain and misery. I could feel it because you are a part of me, and I knew. I agonized for a week because I needed to be sure that YOU were ready, and that I wasn't projecting my stuff onto you. You made that abundantly clear two days ago; thank you so much for letting me know. Other people don't understand your suffering. Their hearts are not one like ours are. We know, don't we? That's what matters. I tried to explain to people why it was time, but it is impossible to articulate how I can feel your pain and suffering, and you can feel mine. I took you yesterday to end your pain and suffering. It was absolutely excruciating, but I love you way too much to keep you here; that is not love. Honey, it was all about you. My heart is shattered, but it rejoices in the fact that you are, for the first time ever, out of your painful body. You will never, ever again have any pain, suffering, fear, or sickness!! You are HOME!!! You are free: running, jumping, playing, and smiling that beautiful smile of yours. Your eyes, your smile, your beautiful, awesome spirit are lighting up the Heavens. I know that there was a big WELCOME HOME MARGO party when you arrived yesterday; it's probably still going on. I miss you terribly sweetheart, but I am the most blessed woman in the whole world to have the honor and privilege of being your mommy. God has blessed me beyond measure. We will always have our love, our bond, our "heart connection". You have a wonderful journey sweetheart, and as I've already told you, we will be together again one day, out of pain and doing all the things we weren't able to do here. I cannot wait for that day; it makes my heart smile just thinking about it. I know you will be meeting me at the Bridge when the time comes. SOAR on, my precious, precious girl. I love you with all of my heart. Thank you doesn't even come close, but it's the best I can do with words. Thank you, Margo, for all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will always be to me. Love and Blessings, |
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