Maximus loved to have his belly rubbed. If he was laying down he wouldn't let you pass until you rubbed his belly as he would suredly roll on to his back. I miss rubbing his belly. I am afraid that I will forget what it felt like to have my hand on his belly.

One of the funniest things Maximus did was get the other dog off his couch so he would stretch out. He knew that that his buddy liked to go outside every chance she got, so he would go to the door like he wanted to go outside. As soon as the door was open his buddy ran outside. Maximus then turned around and claimed his spot on the couch. I was so tickled every time he did this.

Maximus loved cookies. He took his medicine every morning tucked into a cheap sandwich cookie. He also got cookies when I cleaned his ears. As soon as the cleaning was done, he was at the pantry door. I really miss seeingo him so excited.

Aside from being my bed buddy, what I miss the most is his howl and tail wagging when I would come home. He was the only dog we had that could hear the garage door open and as soon as he did he was by the door with his tail wagging and hitting the wall: thump, thump, thump. He would then find something to 'give' me such as a shoe or dog toy. He then wanted me to chase him to get the 'goods' out of his mouth. He ran even after his leg was grossly deformed from the bone cancer.

Winding Down
In April of 2010, Maximus began limping due to apparent pain in his right leg. We took him to the vet and were told that the location of the pain can signal bone cancer: osteosarcoma. A couple of days later a biopsy of the bone showed that indeed, Maximus had bone cancer. The vet explained that this cancer inherently metastasizes into the lungs and is also an extremely painful cancer. The life expectancy is 3 -- 6 months. We were devastated. Maximus had been such an important part of our lives for 7 years. He was my shadow, my confidant, my unconditional love. I really didn't want to know life without him.
During this time period, I had become severely ill and I depended a lot on Maximus. I needed to hear his wagging tail that beats like a drum when it hits the walls or the cabinets. I needed him to cuddle with me when we went to bed. And mostly, I just wanted him with me.
The nature of my illness amplified sadness, loss, and loneliness. I knew that the loss of Maximus would severely impact me. So..... Maximus held on for 18 months; defying the odds. I truly believe that he stayed because I needed him. His vets, Dr. Earl and Dr. Gaines both stated that we were truly blessed that the cancer hadn't metastasized as it does 90% of the time. Each day was a gift; a gift that I needed very badly. Unfortunately, fate would take over. The first week of October 2011, Maximus began to change. His tumor was growing, his movement was limited, and he appeared to be in increased pain. He was "winding down".

Final Days
The first week of October 2011, a large blood-filled cyst formed on the back of Maximus' neck. It was the size of 1/2 dollar coin and spurting blood. I took him to see his vet, Dr. Gaines, and he admitted that by sight he didn't know what kind of cyst it is but it is likely linked to bone cancer. We decided to treat it topically to stop the bleeding. He wore bandages and wound clothes to keep the blood off the furniture.
A few days later the bleeding was controlled but I noticed three other cysts that were forming. Things were changing on Maximus almost daily. Just a few days later, Sunday, October 9th, he was coughing and coughed up a large amount of blood along with what looked like a piece of tumor. Eric and I knew that Maximus was getting sicker each day and that we would not have him much longer. Little did we know that the last day would be tomorrow. You can never prepare for moments that will change your life.
During the early morning hours of October 10, 2011, Maximus woke up Eric so he could take him outside. Maximus made it outside but fell when trying to defecate. Eric was able to get him back in and on the bed. A short while later, Maximus tried to get off the bed himself and fell onto the tile. He vomited. We helped Maximus get to the family room on the rug so he wouldn't be lying on the hard tile floor. He lay down, never to get up again; although he tried numerous times. We got a large quilt and rolled him on to it so he would be comfortable. I called Affordable Pet Care as soon as they opened. We had an appointment for 1:30 p.m.
I called my daughter and son-in-law so they could come say goodbye to Maximus. We all petted him and told him that we loved him...and we cried. He still wagged his tail when Mom talked to him. At 1:20 we put Maximus in the car. At the vet, they were ready for our big guy. They had numerous towels laid out on the floor for his comfort. We watched painfully while the techs started the IV. Maximus was then given a sedative that put him right to sleep. My husband, Eric and I continued to pet and rub on him so he knew we were there and not to be scared. Maximus didn't show any sign of stress or fright. I think he was so ready to go. He hurt so badly.
Lastly, Dr. Gaines administered the 'blue liquid' to send Maximus to a better place...a place with no pain. Within a minute, Maximus was gone. The pain was and still is excruciating. We only stayed a couple of minutes after he was gone because it just hurt too much to see his body without his personality intact. I miss him so badly.
We had Maximus cremated and he now sits on my bookshelf that I look at every day. I give the box a kiss now and then and say "I Love You". I hope he knows that. My heart stays in my throat on a daily basis. I kept his collar and made a scrapbook. I look at these every day. I know it would be easier to put the pictures away but I just can't. Not yet.
There will never be another Maximus: my shadow, confidant, cuddler, friend, four- legged kid, and many days, my only reason to smile. I do hope one day that I can love another dog that will love me back just the way I am.

HE STAYED FOR ME until I got well enough to handle his death and I stayed for him because he wouldn't have understood why his mom was no longer there to love him.
I love you so much Maximus

11/13/11 - I came to visit you today because I cannot get you out of my mind. I miss you so much; my heart is aching. I know you don't want me to be sad and believe me I am trying. Please blow a puppy kiss my way so I can make it through the day. Love you... Mommy

11/16/11 - I tried really hard today to stay busy so I my heart wouldn't be in my throat all day. I did pretty good until this evening. My heart is aching, tears are falling, and I am lost. I miss you terribly. I keep waiting to see you lying on the floor between the living room and the kitchen so you could be sure to see me whichever room I went in. I miss your warm body next to me tha
keeps me warm in bed. Mostly, I miss your presence; your very being. I love you and miss you so much it hurts. Please blow Mommy a kiss tonight so I can try to sleep. I need it very badly. I hope that you are happy and healthy and waiting for me. I will be there.

11/22/11 - I am missing you so much today. I took your collar out of its storage place and held and smelled it. It still smells like you. I hope it always does because it helps me feel closer to you. Thanksgiving is in a couple of days. I know how much you loved the holidays because someone would always slip you some food. By the end of the day you were tired and stuffed. So content. The holidays will not be the same without you and I almost don't want to participate in any events because I would rather be alone and thinking about you.

Please blow mommy a kiss to let me know that you are with me. I love you more than life and I hope to see you again. Love Mommy

11/24/11 - Well baby it is Thanksgiving. I know exactly what you would be doing right now. You would be laying near the stove soaking up the essence of turkey knowing it was just a matter of time before you got some. Today just isn't the same and I feel empty and lonely. I so wish I could pat you on the head and hug you one more time. I love you baby

12/2/11 - I cannot quit thinking about you. I miss you so much and it still hurts so badly. Today was bad as I took Cooper to the vet and I was sitting right in front of the door you were euthanized in. It just killed me to know that this was the place that I lost your companionship, love, and friendship. I am trying to stay busy so I don't go crazy without you. But when things slow down, the first think I think about is you and the pain comes creeping back. What I wouldn't give to just hug you one more time.

I hope you are happy and have no pain. If these are true, I can learn to heal because I know you are in a much better place. I love you and miss you Maximus. Mommy kisses.

12/22/11 - Hi baby Mooser!!! Mom is going crazy today because I miss you so much. My heart is breaking and it hurts so much. I don't want to be like this around Christmas but it just won't stop. Please, please, please blow some Maximus kisses my way because I really need them. I love you sooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

12/24/11 - It is Christmas Eve and it is almost unbearable without you. I know that I will not see you beg for food or laying next to me as I sit at the table. I am struggling baby boy. I can only hope that time will lessen the pain and lead to smiles when I think of you. I love you more than life. Merry Christmas baby boy, companion, confidant, and cuddler.

12/25/11 - Merry Christmas baby boy. I made it through Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas day without crying....until now. I admit that I still haven't accepted the loss of your presence and I am not sure how to do it. I know it was time for you to go as your pain was intense and you weakness was debilitating. I am just being selfish so please forgive me. I love you so much. Please send a puppy kiss my way. I need you. Love Mommy

1/10/12 - Well baby, it has been three months since you left this earth. I some ways it seems like yesterday and in others it feels like an eternity. My constant gut wrenching tears are slowly fading. I can get through most days without a breakdown. I think I am doing exactly what you would want me to do.

I still hold your collar occassionaly and stare at the places you used to lay. I keep hoping to see you. Please know that I love you more than life and that I miss you dearly. Mommy loves you little guy.

April 10, 2012 - Hi baby. Sorry it has been so long since I visited you. I have been trying to move on and share my love with the foster dogs and puppy that you have sent me. Today is 6 months since you had to leave me. I understand that if you were still here that you would be in pain. I don't want to be selfish and have you go through that. But I miss you from the core of my soul. Quintus is a super dog but he doesn't love me the way you did. He doesn't sleep on my pillow or follow me from room to room. I guess I need to always remind myself that nothing will replace you and any other dog will have their own habits and personalities. I will keep trying. I hope you are happy and having fun with the other dogs. Keeping that visual in my mind helps me feel more at peace. I love you and miss you. I promise to keep trying to find the relationship with a dog that you would want me to have. My dear shadow, I love you more than life.

July 18, 2012 - Hi baby. Its been a long time. While I haven't been writing here, you are always on my mind. I miss you so much...my heart still aches. I am visiting today because I want you to welcome Rosie when she gets to the bridge. Since you have been watching over me I'm sure you already know, but we took in Rosie after she was rescued from a puppy mill. She had a very rough life for 8 years. We tried really hard to make it better for her. She died today of a cancerous nasal tumor. Damn Cancer!!!! Please let her know that everything is okay now and that she wont be in pain anymore. Tell her we love her and miss her. We continue to love you and miss you with all our beings.

October 10, 2012 - I can't believe that you have been gone for a year. The pain makes it feel like yesterday. The loneliness makes it feel like forever. I always look at your urn and wonder why such a special dog was taken so soon. Sometimes I think you left us so you could be at Rainbow Bridge to meet Rosie and Cooper so they wouldn't be lost or afraid.

I miss you do much. I can't wait to see you on Rainbow Bridge
Love Mom

5/21/13. I have been thinking about you a lot I showed off my tattoo of you for the first time in a very long time. I am feeling tired and hopeless again. I don't want to get sick again, and certainly not without you.

I bet you met the foster fur babies that went to Rainbow Bridge. It's hard to lose them even though I only had them in our home for a short time. Inca, Delilah, & Rain Dance.

I hope you know I love you very much
Love Mom

July 10, 2013. Hi baby. I know you have been watching me struggle. I have tried to do the right things by the dogs and the Rescue. Maybe I took on too much with my sickness. Please support my decision to reduce or eliminate the things that I do for the Rescue. Quietus, Bram, & jewel rarely get attention. The kids, even though they are older, need me sometime. I am not there for them. Please look down on me and wag your tail against something solid so I can hear the beat. I love you and miss you terribly. I guess the hurt never goes away

October 10, 2013. I can hardly believe it has been 2 years since I was able to touch your fur and hear you breathe. It is still painful with you missing in my life. Maybe my life would be better and happier if I could hold you everyday. I know you stayed with me as long as you could; even defying the vet's prediction by a full year. And I know it was to take care of me when I was at my sickest time. I know that you are watch on over me and I hope that you can hear me when I talk to you. I'm sure Rosie and Cooper keep you company. I pray it will be a very long time before you have to welcome the next fur baby.
Please keep watching over me. I'm still sick and I don't want others to know. But don't worry, I will make it through. Too many people would be hurt if I left. I will just lean on you. You are in my heart and my soul. I love you more than life Mooser.

1/25/2014. Hi my shadow. Mommy misses you so much. You have come up in quite a few conversations lately. To this day, I can barely get your name out without choking back tears. I hope you are keeping Rosie and Cooper company. Are there any sprinklers for you to chase? That was always a sure way to make me laugh.
I am fostering again. Just one at a time though. I want to enjoy it. Please know that my love for you hasn't changed at all. My heart still aches for your company. Mommy loves you

10/10/2014 - Three years ago today I lost your presence and love here on earth. I really don't know how I made it through the first couple of months. I was so lost without you. I am still a little lost. I talk about you all the time. I tell people how loving you were, how you liked to sleep above my head, even when you grew WAY too big. Eric just recently put the frame back under the bed. We took it out so you didn't have to far to get up or down. It felt weird having the bed so high.
I cannot wait to see you again, my baby, my best friend.
After 3 years, the pain is unbearable. The friends you found for me help me some. But no dog could ever replace you. But you would like Quintus because he is a goof ball like you were as a puppy.
I love you Maximus with all my heart, soul, and being. And I miss you more than words can say. I will see you again.

10/10/2015. My Dearest Maximus.....My tears began falling at 4:00 am as memories of you flooded my mind. Dad and I talked about you and looked at the canvas of you on our bedroom wall. Your absence is still so painful.

There will never be another companion like you. Maybe it's because I won't allow it. I'm not sure. I just know it's not the same with your brothers.

I pray you are truly happy and anxiously waiting our reunion as I am.
Love you
Mom

May 3, 2018
My Maximus,
It is hard to believe you have been gone almost 7 years. It seems you left me just yesterday. I think about you often and will never forget that you stayed so long in pain for me to help me through my dark time.
Now you have brothers and sisters with you. I pray you are all together and will all be waiting for me to cross that bridge.

I love you
Mom

June 29. 2020

Still think of you often. Love you still
mom

October 10, 2020
My dearly beloved Maximus: I still you miss you so badly. When I was last very sick, you were here for me. You got me through the most horrible time in my life. I wish you were here with me now.
I think I could handle my illness better with you by my side. Please look after me.
I love you
Mom

October 10, 2021
My sweet boy. I still miss you dearly. There has been no other that loved me as much as you. I wish you here to get me through my rough times, and I have many.

Your paw print is permanently on my heart and in my soul.

I pray I get to see you again one day.

Love and miss you,
Mom

October 14, 2022
Hi my big man. I still miss you greatly. You never left my side. You pulled me through so many rough days just by being there. I could sure use your comfort now.

I hope you are with your brothers and sisters and playing without pain.

Love and miss you
Mom

Please also visit Bram, Jewel and Quintus.