I love them so much.

My baby, my baby, so Saturday was the death-aversary-- I don't like to remember it. I pushed it away. I relaxed and feel you around me and I swear it's not my imagination.

Today is July 4, 2022. I went to the pool - this is my new apartment as of last September and I know you are here with me, I know you are. Happy birthday my little one, my little furry one who I miss so much. Your sister Hannah - I love her and miss her just as much. I love both of you forever and ever and wish you were here now, when I would make some salmon for you and I would eat mine and then we'd cuddle on the couch, I'd maybe call friends, or Facetime. The funnies thing is when they would call me and the back of your head would be the first thing they'd see because your paws were around my neck. I love you forever and ever. Usually I would feed you shrimp, your favorite, take photos and we would also watch George M. Cohan - Jimmy Cagney movie. I have photos of you with the film in the background and you on my belly. So funny and cute. Happy, happy birthday from your loving mommy.

My Mia, you know I love Hannah too, I dream of you both. When I was meditating the other day, I saw both of you in spirit. I know it was you, I saw both of you. Send me signs.... I don't see any from you anymore.

July 4, 2021
Happy birthday in heaven my beloved. Mia. Im doing one of our traditions on your Yankee Doodle birthday. Im watching Yankee Doodle Dandy w James Cagney. I didn't have shrimp, but i had salmon. I'm taking care of 2 other animals- dogs. My friends' dogs. I'm having fun w them but I miss YOU. Love forever from your mommy.

July 2, 2021
My baby Mia, it's two years go today, that horrible, horrible night when I was alone and I had to rush you to emergency. I can't relate it all here or I'll start crying and anyway, I know you are so very happy where you are. You're with your sister, Hannah and with everyone else's fur and feather babies. I'm studying animal communication now and I haven't been able to reach you or Hannah, but I saw you in my meditations a few times. Just the shapes of you, and you were both so happy. July 4th is always so hard because it was your birthday. My love, I'm dog sitting two dogs who are fun, but I miss you and love you and Hannah forever and ever and ever.

My baby Mia, I miss you so. Tonight when I got home It was so quiet. I hate coming home from work. There is so much upheaval happening now in my life and I wish you were here because you always calmed me. I hope you are having fun with your Rainboow Bridge friends. When I go to bed it's also a bad time. Remember when you would hae to lie across me? I always let you and when you would lie next to me then, Iwould read or talk to you. It was so peaceful. Good memories.

8/23/19 - Last night when I made fish for dinner, I thought, this is when you would keep trying to grab the fish from my plate. I would have to scold you. No matter how many times I said, "stop Mia, stop" stop, a word you understood, no.... you could't stand the smell of the fish without having any. LOL. You would keep putting your paw in my dish. I always gave you some fish, the best most expensive fish, but you still wanted mine. My baby, you always made me laugh.

8/28/19 - I'm home. When I come home, it's the worst time. I'll be off work next week, the first time I'll be off work since May, when we spent a month together. Little did I know, you would leave this plane in July. I'll be so lonely without you. I'm so grateful you came to me to be your mommy and to take care of you, and love you for 18 years. It's been a bit over a month, almost two months. Just last night was the first time I had the courage to open the card from Regency Forest, where you were cremated. I can't open your ashes yet. I want to see you, play with you, and have you next to me when we go to sleep.

9/9/19 - I guess I won't be able to ever come home and NOT miss you. I know you are with Hannah but I want you both with me. I did not put up a memorial for Hannah because at the time I had to focus on you and other things in life that were pulling me. I will put up a virtual memorial for her. I read that it helps if you send your furry loves good thoughts and propel love from your heart, that it helps you on the other side. I hope my big love radiation is helping you because I am sending love all the time. But I'm still lonely and sad without you. You saved my life so many times. I guess I'll never be able to open a can of tuna either again without crying. I did the other night because you were not here for me to give you the delicious pieces to lick in the can. And it was the only way I could get you to take your medicine. Tonight is the candle service. I'm crying now so I'll stop writing.

My baby Mia, this is around Thanksgiving and it snowed, 2 Dec. This is the week I'm off from work and this is when we would be snuggling. We would be snuggling in blankets, you with your favorite blanket. I keep holding your blanket and sniffing it. I knew it would be hard living without you but damn, I am in so much pain. I know hhe animal communicator Karen anderson says in her book that our animals want us to be happy. I'm trying. I got your signs. I'm not sure about your jumping on the bed but I think you are. And wow I heard you purring! It woke me up! Thank you for your signs. I love you forever.

8 December - I came home and the apartment is so empty. I just can't get used to coming home and you're not here to greet me and meow your big meow.

Christmas 2019 - my first without you. I purposely didn't write here because I was having a good Christmas with my friends but quietly I kept crying. Into February now and today I looked at so many photos of you on my chest, you hugging my face. I'm in so much pain now. I talk to you all the time. I know you can hear me and I know you are jumping on the bed with me! I'm lying perfectly still and I feel you jump near me, I feel the bed movement like when you were here with me. Photos of you and Hannah together are just making me long for you. I love you and can't wait until I see you again. I'm home alone tonight on a Saturday night. I wish you were here.

You made me laugh so many times. Remember when you jumped into the refrigerator? hahahaha

3/3/0/20 My baby my baby, with this isolation now, you would be happy because I would be here all the time. But no, we are separated and I am so lonely and so lonely for you my baby. You and Hannah, my babies! I'm sleeping with your blankets tonight.

6/29/20 You know that I talk to you every day. I don't have to write here. I talk to you and Hannah every day and wow you were both in my dreams last week. Thank you for the visit. This is the week although you are so happy you won't know what day it is here on Earth because there's no time where you are. You and Hannah are so happy and are playing with all the Rainbow Bridge babies that their moms and dads mourn here on Earth. I can't wait to see you again. It's a year ago on Thursday you passed. I don't doubt that I let you pass quietly, it's just that the cancer you had upset me the most. I keep working to forget those last images and that last night. My baby, my little loyal friend, send me some signs. My heart still cries out for you and Hannah.

9/4/20. I wish you were here all these months that I'm working from home. Life is lonely without you both. I'm looking for the right memory box. Haven't found one yet. I love you forever.

June 8, 2021 - a whole year of horror where we could have hung out together while I worked at home. It's almost two years without you. I had a car incident, and I was so upset, I called out your name, yes, your name because I wanted something, someone I loved near me and it was you, my little baby. I know you're near me but I can't feel or see signs from you anymore.

Every day I think of you and every day I call your name my little Mia. Today is your angelversary. I just got back from time away down the shore, and I thought of you all the time and I talk to you all the time. To you and Hannah. I miss you both so much and I am very sad still after all these years. You passed this night in 2019 and this is 2023. And I still feel sad. I'm alone most of the time and when I had you and Hannah here I didn't feel so alone. I love you forever. good morning to you and Hannah, as we say in rainbowbridge ceremony. I have not been able to attend rainbows bridge because of my work schedule and because of Covid happening. That was awful. It's still awful to recuperate from the collective trauma. We all experience with Covid. I'm glad you weren't here to experience me like that because I would not have been such a good mommy. I love you forever. I have yours and Hannah"s towel and blankets next to me in bed.

Happy birthday my baby❤️😥 remember on this day, I would always give you shrimp, and we would watch Yankee doodle Dandy together, and I would protect you from the sound of the fireworks. I can look back on those photos but I want happy birthday my sweet kitty.

7/4/24 I don't even know where to begin. This is your birthday, so happy birthday in heaven I did not want to remember July 2 so I am here on your birthday remembering my love, my baby and more importantly you are my totem I have called you and Hannah in to help other animals. I love you forever, I love you forever, my baby.