06/18/2014:
Murphy, you certainly wrapped yourself completely around my heart and soul, and I'm so very thankful that you came into my life and blessed me as your Momma. I was never as happy as when you were with me. My heart is in a million pieces without you. I miss your smile, your sweeet face, your beautiful eyes, running my hands through your golden hair and rubbing your precious belly as we went to sleep every night. I could never ask for a more wonderful boy, and as I always told you, you're the goodest boy in the world of worlds. The house is so quiet without you. You're not barking at me when I walk up to the front door or greeting me when I walk inside. You're not lying next to me when I work. Nothing is the same; life has forever changed. I fell in love the first time I held you at 8 weeks old, and my love for you grew every day for our 9-1/2 years together. We became one, Murphy. If only we could go back and redo the month of June so that you would be well and come home again. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, Poodle, and I really tried my very best. I know you fought so hard to come home and be with Momma. I'm so thankful I was able to hold you, talk to you, rub you and love you as I gazed into your eyes until you were no more and went to the Rainbow Bridge. It will be the happiest day of all when I join you there and we can love, hug and kiss each other again, this time for eternity. Meanwhile, please watch over Spencer and Grady and keep them safe from harm and illness. Little Spencer is your legacy; help him grow up to be a wonderful boy like you, Doodles. Thank you so much for putting it into my mind to get us a puppy back in March. I think you already knew something I didn't. Until we meet again, know how much I love and miss you my beloved prince. And always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, just as I promised you every day. I love you darling boy,
Momma XOXOXO

07/18/2014:
Murphy, my most precious boy, it's one month today since I last kissed you, loved you, held you, and looked into your eyes as you went to the Rainbow Bridge. My heart remains broken into millions of pieces. I miss you more than I could ever express in words. I think of you multiple times every single day and so wish that you were still here with me. Life has changed so dramatically. I go through the motions of daily life as if in some altered universe that isn't even real. I miss every single thing about you; your scent, your beautiful smiling face, our belly rubs, you sleeping beside me at night and lying next to me while I work, your magnificent golden hair blowing in the breeze on our walks, your big bark to alert me to anything going on outside, your puppy bark when you just want attention. I reflect daily on the month of June, thinking in hindsight how I would have done things differently had I known, the regrets I have, the guilt I feel, the anger, shock and all consuming pain. But at the same time, I have so many beautiful memories of our life together, how incredibly happy we always were, how we fought together through your Addison's crises successfully, how you would always lie next to me at night with my arm reaching down to rub that precious belly, how you constantly looked at me with such adoration and me at you the same way. Your eyes reached right into my soul, and you wrapped yourself around my heart and filled it with so much love it nearly exploded with joy. You have been by far the greatest blessing in my entire life, and I'm so thankful I was your Momma and we were able to share life together. If only it could have been longer as you so deserved. You are the most wonderful boy, and I pray to God that you're happy and healthy, playing with all the other furbabies while you patiently wait for me to join you, the sooner the better. Spencer and Grady miss you so. Spencer is growing like a weed and becoming a good friend and companion to me. Grady still calls for you many times a day. The house just isn't the same any more, Poodle. For a little over 9-1/2 years you were my life, and everything I did revolved around you. I feel so empty now. I hope you always remember how incredibly much you are loved and cherished. And remember Momma's right here, Murphy, always right here for you. Come and lie by my side where you belong. I love you my wonderful boy,
Momma XOXOXO

08/18/2014:
My precious Murphy boy, it has now been 2 months since I held you last while you went to the Rainbow Bridge, forever the saddest day of my life. I love you more than I've ever loved before and miss you more every day. You made me the happiest I've ever been and I thank you for sharing your life with me. Every day with you was a gift from God and I'm so grateful for the unconditional love we had for each other. Your presence in the house is terribly missed. The quiet is deafening, and Momma is so lonely without you. I long for our belly rubs, our daily and nightly rituals, going to sleep with my hand on your sweet belly, feeling every breath you'd take, inhaling your wonderful scent even on your putty paws which smell like Fritos, running my hands through your beautiful golden hair, gazing into your eyes that looked right at my soul, and always having you at my side. Everything about you was perfect; I could have never asked for more. I would have done anything to save you. I thought we would have many more years together and I know you tried your best to come home again. You will always live in my heart, darling boy, my beautiful little boy. I love you so much it hurts. Be happy and have fun playing until Momma can join you some day. You are loved more than life itself. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I love and miss you so,
Momma XOXOXO

08/31/2014:
HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY my beautiful Murphy!! Did you have tons of fun at your party with all the new friends you've made at the Rainbow Bridge? I hope you got LOTS of presents and ate all the steaks, hamburgers, hot dogs, cake and ice cream you wanted! I've thought of you all day long and hope you had a wonderful time and are very, very happy. You deserve all the happiness and fun possible, Doodles! Every single second of every single day of our life together was so wonderful. I never before loved the way I love you and never will again. From 8 weeks old to over 9-1/2 years you've been my best friend, confidante, companion, little lover boy, protector, my entire world, the love of my life. Everything revolved around you and I miss you so much. If only I could see you, smell you, touch and kiss you, rub your darling belly and breathe in your wonderful scent again. You always made everything wonderful and happy. We would just look at each other and smile, you with those beautiful pearly white teeth and that perpetual grin! We really were happy together, Murphy, and enjoyed one another so much. I thought we'd have much more time together but I'm so incredibly thankful to be your Momma and so blessed to have shared your life. I take your beautiful golden locks out of the curio cabinet so I can touch them, and sleep every night with your collar nestled in my neck. When I lie down for sleep I still smell you on the couch and on my red blanket which is comforting. It's impossible to believe you're not here to celebrate your 10th birthday. Our time together was too short and we still had things to do and places to go. You really filled the house with your presence and I always felt so safe. You truly are the sun, the moon and the stars, a love that only happens once in a lifetime, and I love and cherish you so incredibly much it hurts, just as bad today as the day I lost you. I really miss talking to you in the goofy voices that always made you a tail wagger, and calling you silly names to which you never failed to respond. I miss you bouncing up and down for a treat and sitting so "pretty" while I got them for you. I miss how you insisted I feed you off your spoon instead of eating from your bowl. I just miss everything about you, precious pup. You really did make life complete. You're forever with me as I carry you in my heart and our souls are entwined for eternity. Always remember, Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'll always be right here. Until we meet again on that blessed day, I love you with all my heart. Happy Birthday my beautiful, wonderful boy! Love always and kiss kiss kiss,
Momma XOXOXO

09/18/2014:
Murphy my beloved boy, today is 3 months since I touched, held, kissed, caressed and gazed into your eyes as you made your journey to the Rainbow Bridge. You've already had your first birthday there with your multitude of new friends and without Momma. I hope you are incredibly happy and having a wonderful time with Jack, Bella, Rozzie, Memphis, Keyo, Cotton, Charlotte, Cleo, Chloe, Mattie, London, Coco and all the other furbabies who have gone before you and after you. Be sure to greet and welcome all the newcomers to their beautiful home. Have fun and play hard, and know I'll be with you again some day. Meanwhile, know how very much Momma adores you and misses you. You are alive in my heart and always will be. You are part of my soul and neither time or distance can change that. I miss you more each day and you'll always be the love of my life. Always remember, Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'll never leave you. All my love forever and ever my darling boy,
Momma XOXOXO

10/18/2014:
Darling Murphy, how can it be that 4 months has passed since I held you last? Time keeps moving forward but I can't figure out how to move ahead with it. I want to go back in time and fix everything so that you're still here with me. The house is still so empty and quiet without you. All your things are right where you left them. I really don't like this new life, Poodle. We had our daily routine down to a science and since you've been gone there's no balance, nothing but near chaos. I miss our routine. I miss our life together. I miss you so terribly much. My sunshine didn't come from the sky, it came from the love in your eyes. You were my reason for living, the love of my life, the most magnificent and beautiful thing that ever happened to me. I thank you for every single moment we had together as it was truly paradise. Please be happy and have a wonderful time with all your new friends until I get there. Also, please continue to watch over Spencer and Grady Girl and keep them safe and healthy. They miss you too. Grady still calls for you every morning without fail, and Spencer now wants me to spoon feed him his dinner just like you. Everything reminds me of you and how incredibly wonderful it was to share your life and your love. You made me a different and better person, and I'm so grateful to be your Momma. Please keep sending me comforting signs that you're still near. It means so much as I'm lost without you. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'll never, ever leave you. I love you to the moon and back and miss you more each day.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You made me happy when skies were gray. You'll never know dear how much I love you. Something took my sunshine away. You truly are forever the love of my life darling boy, Momma XOXOXO

11/18/2014:
My precious Murphy boy, it's impossible to believe it's been 5 months since you made your journey to the Rainbow Bridge in my arms. The pain and sorrow are as great today as they were June 18 at 3:20 PM. I miss everything about you, from your gentle nature and beautiful smile to going to bed together at night rubbing your belly to your wonderful scent and Fritos putties to the indescribable happiness we shared. Every second with you was a miracle and a blessing for which I'll always be so thankful. Life truly will never be the same again, and a huge part of me will always be missing. You are my most beautiful and goodest boy in the world of worlds. Every day was joyous because of you. We could and did get through anything as long as we were together. I'm so lost without you, Doodles. I hope and pray I did what you wanted and that you know I tried my best. You fought so hard to come home to Momma, and words cannot express how incredibly sorry I am that you didn't make it back home where you felt so safe and secure. It will haunt me forever that I couldn't do more to get you well or get you home in time to make your final journey. I would have gladly given my life for you. I hope you don't think Momma abandoned you in the hospital while you were recuperating from surgery and I wasn't allowed to visit for so long. I'm so grateful I was able to see you 2 days before our world crashed and made it to your side to hold you, kiss you and talk to you as you went to the Bridge. Thank you for wagging your tail at me when they wheeled you into the Quiet Room. You knew I was there, and I hope to God you were comforted by my presence as I always was in yours. It seems as if this was all some terrible mistake. I'll never know what actually happened to make you sick in the first place, nor what happened on that horrible day of June 18 when you had been doing so much better and were supposed to come home the very next day. All I have now are the wonderful and beautiful memories of our life together, and I'll cling to them as best I can while I miss you every second of every day. You truly are my sunshine, the purpose in my life. Thank you again for the joy, comfort and happiness you brought me. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. You will live forever in my heart. I love you and miss you so much my beloved Murphy Dog,Momma XOXOXO

11/27/2014:
HAPPY THANKGIVING, Murphy! I hope you ate all the turkey and stuffing you wanted and had a wonderful time with all your precious friends. I remember last Thanksgiving as if it were yesterday. Who could have guessed it would be our last? I wish you were still here to enjoy the holidays with us. Your sweet and beautiful presence is missed every moment of every day. You are my sunshine and always will be. I love you to the moon and back! Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here, just as I promised you. I love you and miss you, darling boy, Momma XOXOXO

12/18/2014:
Darling Murphy, how can it be that 6 months has passed since I held and kissed you last? Without you nothing in the world seems right. You brought so much happiness and love into my life and every single thing about you is missed every single day. Your golden beauty radiated all around you. The love poured from your eyes right into my soul. Your goodness calmed my spirit and your ever smiling face brought me so much joy. You blessed me with your love and I'll be forever grateful. Saying goodbye to you was by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But I know we'll be together again some day, and that your spirit is still with me. I smelled your wonderful scent on the couch last night when I fell asleep. I said your name; did you hear me? You'll live forever in my heart, darling boy. My love for you grows by the day. Always remember, Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Always and forever. I love you my beautiful prince and I miss you so, Momma XOXOXO

12/25/2014:
Merry Christmas my precious boy! I hope you love all your presents. Give Jesus a big kiss and lots and lots of love to Baby Angel Mac and my little Bryan. We miss you so much! It's not Christmas without you, Murphy. You made life worthwhile and so much fun, and you loved Christmas. We only had 9 together, but they were the very best of all. You are loved to the moon and back. Always remember, Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. All my love forever and ever,
Momma (Spencer and Grady Girl too)

12/31/2014:
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2015, MURPHY! Have a wonderful party with all your precious friends! It's 1 minute to midnight, Spencer and Grady are sound asleep, and Momma is remembering the 9 New Year's Eves we were blessed to celebrate together. It doesn't seem possible our last year together is ending and a new year is beginning without you by my side. Last year at this time we were watching the New Year of 2014 come in around the country, sharing a little sausage and cheese and giving each other lots of kisses, with you getting lots of belly rubs. How I miss every moment we spent together! I will always love you to the moon and back, remember every single thing about you, from the love in your eyes to the scent of your golden locks and Putty Paws, to the wonderful feeling of running my hands through your golden locks and feeling your every breath when I rubbed your belly as we went to sleep. I miss you so, darling boy. You truly are my world. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here, just as I promised. I'll never leave you. I love you with all my heart to the ends of the universe. Love and kisses to my goodest boy in the world of worlds,
Momma XOXOXO

01/18/2014:
My darling Murphy boy, I can't believe it's been 7 months since I had to tell you goodbye. I can still feel your beautiful golden hair and your sweet soft belly. I can still smell your wonderful scent and your Fritos putties. I can still hear your breathing while we drifted off to sleep and your loud commanding bark to alert me to everything you heard. Without you, life becomes more difficult with each passing day, and I don't think it will ever get better. I miss you so much, Doodles, and love you to the moon and back. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'll always be right here. You truly are my sunshine. I love you more than words can say and miss you every single moment. Big lovies and kiss kiss kiss to my baby doll, my very best friend who gave me so much,
Momma XOXOXO

02/14/2015:
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY my precious Murphy! I'm sure you're sharing plenty of kisses with all the pretty girls. Now you can eat all the chocolate you want. Enjoy and have a wonderful time! I love and miss you so. Take good care of Baby Mac and kiss him for me. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here, forever and a day. I love you with all my heart and you'll always be my Valentine,
Momma XOXOXO

02/18/2015:
Precious Murphy, it's now been 8 months since we said goodbye. How can it be so long since I kissed your beautiful face and gazed into your gorgeous eyes? I love and cherish every moment I was blessed to share your life. Our time together was by far the happiest of my life but much too short, and I'm still so lost without you. I miss going to sleep together and greeting each new day together, Doodles. I miss every single thing about you; your smile, your kisses, your gentle nature and delightful companionship. Your side of the couch still retains your scent which I inhale every night when I lay down to sleep. If only you were still here so we could drift off together as I rub your sweet belly and feel your every breath. Be happy while you wait for me, darling boy. I'll be there as soon as I can. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here, just as I promised you every day. I love you to the ends of the universe, Poodle, and miss my beautiful baby doll so terribly much,
Momma XOXOXO

03/18/2015:
My beloved Murphy, on your 9 month anniversary at the Rainbow Bridge, always remember how incredibly much Momma loves you and misses every single thing about you. You made my life complete, brought me a happiness I didn't know existed, and without you I'm still lost and afraid. You're the very best thing that ever happened to me. The gift of your love and the privilege of sharing your life will be treasured forever. You're magic, Doodles, pure magic. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here, forever and a day. I love you to the moon and back and miss you more than words could ever say,
Momma XOXOXO

04/05/2015:
Happy Easter, darling Murphy! Did you and your friends have a luscious Easter buffet with all your favorite goodies? How about an Easter egg hunt? I'm sure it was just wonderful, but I really miss you being here with us. It's so hard to believe that last Easter we were celebrating together, never having any idea our time together was coming to an end. I miss you so much and love you with all my heart. You'll forever be my goodest boy in the world of worlds, the love of my life. You were my happiness and I will always be so grateful for everything you brought to my life. Until we meet again, always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I love you more than life itself and miss you more each day,
Momma XOXOXO

04/18/2015:
Darling Murphy, at 3:15 this afternoon it will be 10 months since I held and loved you as you went to the Rainbow Bridge. My heart is still in a million pieces, missing and loving you so. Always remember how much I adore you, Doodles. You've given me more than I could ever ask for. Thank you for being my best friend, constant companion, security blanket, little lover, my goodest boy in the world of worlds. You'll always be my sunshine, Murphy, and I love you more than life itself. I found this beautiful poem this morning which reminds me of everything about you:
"To my dearest Momma, some things I'd like to say. But first of all to let you know that I arrived okay. I'm writing this from the Rainbow Bridge where I dwell with God above. Here there's no more tears of sadness, just eternal love. Please don't be unhappy just because I'm out of sight. Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night. That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through, God picked me up and hugged me and He said: "I welcome you. It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone. And for your dearest Momma, she will be here later on."
God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do, and foremost on the list was to watch over and care for you. And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight, God and I are close to you all throughout the night. When you think of my life on earth and all those loving years, because you're only human they are bound to bring you tears. But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain. Remember there are no flowers unless there is some rain. I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned. But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand. One thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over, I'm closer to you now than I ever was before. There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb, but together we can do it by taking one day at a time. It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too, that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you. If you can help a pup who is in sorrow and in pain, then you can say to God at night "my day was not in vain. Now I am contented, I know my life worthwhile, knowing as I passed along I made a puppy smile." God says "if you meet a dog who is sad and feeling low, just lend a hand and pick him up as on your way you go."
So when you're walking down the street with me always on your mind, I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind. And when it's time for you to leave your body to be free, remember you're not going, you're coming here to me!!"

05/18/2015:
My darling Puppy Lips, yet another month has passed since you made your final journey in my arms. I reflect on our last few weeks together so often, consumed by a multitude of questions for which there are no answers, feelings of tremendous guilt over the decisions I was forced to make, and forever wondering whether I made the right ones and if they were what you wanted. Among all those shocking and traumatic memories, I'm so incredibly thankful that you knew I was right there with you every second, and even summoned the strength to wag your tail at me a number of times. I'm SO grateful I was able to hold you, kiss every inch of your body, caress your beautiful golden hair and tell you for the millionth time how very much I love you. It meant everything to me. Being able to hold you and gaze deeply into each others eyes as you went to the Rainbow Bridge is a treasured experience which will be forever ingrained in my heart and in my memory. Our last half hour was the most devastating experience of my life, and also the most beautiful. I miss every single thing about you and our life together. Everything about you was utter perfection. You brought more love, tenderness, companionship and happiness to my life than I'd ever experienced or even knew was possible. I would have gladly and willingly given my life for you, and I can't tell you how terribly sorry I am that this time I couldn't save you despite how very hard you fought to come home again. You've been my entire life and my reason for living since I first picked you up at 8 weeks old in November of 2004, and without you nothing will ever be the same. I can't wait to be with you again, and that day can't come too soon. Meanwhile, always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'll always be right here. Thank you again for the magic you brought to my life. You'll always be my sunshine, my only sunshine, my sun, moon and stars. I love you and miss you with everything that I am,
Momma XOXOXO

06/18/2015:
Beloved Murphy, on your 1 year anniversary at the Rainbow Bridge, this poem is for you. I'll love you for eternity, miss you forever, and remain incredibly grateful to you for everything you brought to my life. You'll always be my one in a million love, my reason for living, my darling little golden boy. I love you so much, Doodles, and I'll be there as soon as I can. Meanwhile, Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'll always be right here.
Momma XOXOXO

YOU WERE HERE
As I sit in the moments of quiet,
When sadness invades me,
I know that yesterday
You were here.

Now you are away from me,
Not knowing your future or when you'll come home,
But yesterday
You were here.

It has now been a week,
A week since you last were in our house,
An entire week since they took you away from me,
Into the depths of the hospital
where I did not know your future,
But just last week
You were here.

Another day passes;
A week ago you were still with me.
In daily reports from the hospital,
They thought they knew your future,
I was given hope, and
You were here.

More days pass.
A week ago you left me.
Your golden body cradled in my arms,
Your beautiful head held in my hands,
Our eyes locked together to the end,
Your spirit gracefully moving upward.
But for a few hours of that day,
You were here.

Sadness invades again,
And I know that as the hours pass,
I can no longer look back
Over the span of that all too painful time,
To find that comforting point when
You were here.

More time has passed;
Sadness invades as much as a menacing fear,
And I mark the days, saying things like
"last month, last summer, last Christmas, last year"
You were here.

I dreaded this day,
One year ago now,
The first marking of the time
That your body was no longer with me.
Though I will never, ever forget you,
Your tangible memories will eventually fade;
The wonderful feel of your fur, your head, your back,
your paws, your weight against me,
The precious smells and sounds of you when
You were here.

The emptiness will never fade,
But perhaps change into another reality,
One with you playing a huge part,
But a role of ethereal presence
rather than the physical comfort I crave.

Your memory, your spirit, your essence and counsel,
Will forever dwell with me.
But life will never be the same as when
You were here.

07/18/2015:
Darling Murphy, today is 13 months since we had to say goodbye. It seems so long ago yet like yesterday at the same time. I miss you more than words can say. Life is so different without you, so difficult, and I'm still having a very hard time trying to navigate in this new world I find myself. I think of you all the time, remembering how wonderful you made every moment, how much joy, companionship and contentment you brought to my world. You're the best friend I've ever had, and I miss you so much my heart hurts. You'll forever be my goodest boy in the world of worlds. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'll never, ever leave you. I love you to the moon and back and miss you so much,
Momma XOXOXO

08/18/2015:
My precious boy, it's now 14 months since I held you last. It doesn't even seem possible. You were the light of my life from the day you came into it, and I miss you more each day. You always made everything okay, Murphy. We truly were two hearts, one soul. Such a huge part of me went with you, and nothing but you can fill that gaping hole. Every moment with you was pure magic, and I'm so thankful for you and the happiness you brought to my life. We really were made for each other, Poodle. You'll always be my sunshine. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Forever and ever. I love you with everything I am and miss you so,
Momma XOXOXO

08/31/2015:
Happy 11th birthday, beautiful Murphy!! I hope you've had a day full of presents, all your favorite food, cake and ice cream, plenty of games, and a BIG party with all your friends. Did you hear me sing Happy Birthday? It's hard to believe this is the second birthday you've been away from me. How I miss buying you presents to tear open and making your birthday burger. I miss everything about you, Doodles. You'll always be my goodest boy in the world of worlds, and I'll be there as soon as I can. You mean absolutely everything to me, my darling. You made the world a happy place. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'll always be right here. I love you to infinity and miss you SO much,
Momma XOXOXO

09/18/2015:
My darling boy, yet another month has passed without you. How can it be 15 months since I kissed you goodbye? What I wouldn't give to have you lie by my side as we go to sleep, rubbing your soft, sweet, silky belly and feeling your every breath. You're the love of my life, Murphy, and always will be. Every second with you was pure joy. My heart is as broken now as the day I lost you. Nothing will ever be the same and neither will I. You brought such incredible happiness to my life and I'm forever grateful to you. We really were meant to be, Doodles. You are missed more than words could ever adequately express. My love for you continues to grow each day. You are my perfect boy, and I'd never change anything about you except to have kept you here with me, happy and healthy. I'm so sorry about what happened. I gladly would've given my life to save you, Murph. I hope you know that. Have fun with all your friends while you wait for me. I promise to come as soon as I can. Spencer and Grady send their love to you, too. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Whenever you need me I'm right here. I love you to the moon and back and miss you so very much,
Momma XOXOXO

10/18/2015:
Beautiful Murphy, here we are 16 months since I held and kissed you goodbye. What I wouldn't give to run my hands through your long golden hair, look deep into your eyes, wrap my arms around you and breathe in your wonderful scent again. With every moment that takes you further away from me, I love you and miss you even more. You spoiled me with 9-1/2 years of love and happiness, Doodles. Every second we shared was pure bliss. I don't know how to live without you. We were a team, soul mates; you're my other little boy, Poodle. I hope you hear me talk to you and sing to you every day. You're my buddy, my pal, my friend. It will be that way until the end. And wherever you go, I want you to know; you're my buddy, my pal, my friend. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'm always right here. I love you more than life itself and miss you so incredibly much, precious boy,
Momma XOXOXO

11/18/2015:
My most beloved boy, yet another month has gone by without you. There are no words to describe the depth of my love for you, nor the pain in my heart from missing you. I'm so grateful for the tremendous joy you brought to my life; if only our time together could have been longer. I've never known such happiness and love, and surely never will again. I can't wait to be with you some day, Murphy, never to be parted. You'll always be my goodest boy in the world of worlds, my beautiful golden prince who owns my heart, my sunshine, my only sunshine. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. You know where to find me, darling boy. I love you and miss you so very, very much,
Momma XOXOXO

11/26/2015:
Happy Thanksgiving, Murphy! I hope you had a wonderful feast and filled your sweet belly to capacity with everything you love. It's incredibly hard to be without you every day, but the holidays make it even worse. They were so special, and now that joy is gone. I'd give anything to see you lying next to me, to look into your beautiful eyes, to rub your bellsy as we drift off to sleep. You own my heart and soul, Poodle. You're the best friend I've ever had and made our world such a happy place. Always remember Mommma's right here, Murphy, right here. Forever and ever. I love you more than anything in the universe and miss you so much,
Momma XOXOXO

12/18/2015:
I'm gonna wrap myself in paper,
I'm gonna dab myself with glue,
Stick some stamps on top of my head;
I'm gonna mail myself to you.

I'm gonna tie me up in a red string,
I'm gonna tie blue ribbons too,
I'm gonna climb up in my mail box;
I'm gonna mail myself to you.

It's been a sad and lonely 18 months without you, my beautiful boy. If only I could mail myself to you. I miss every single thing about you from the scent of your paws to the love in your eyes. You brought such happiness to life. Take really good care of Gryffindor, Molly and Baby Mac, and give them all kisses for me. It will be wonderful to hold all of you forever some day. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I love you to the moon and back and miss you so very much,
Momma XOXOXO

12/25/2015:
Merry Christmas, my beloved Murphy! Why couldn't I keep you forever? You're the Christmas present I never, ever wanted to lose. After all, I didn't need presents when I had you. You will always be my everything. I hope you're having a wonderful Christmas with Gryffindor, Baby Mac, Bella, Jack, London and all your friends. I hope we'll be together for Christmas soon, my darling boy. I love you with all my heart and soul and miss you so very much,
Momma XOXOXO

01/01/2016:
Happy New Year, darling boy! While very sad that another year has started without you, at the same time it brings the day closer when we'll reunite once more, never to be separated. I love you more than life itself and miss you so, my beautiful golden boy!
Momma XOXOXO

01/18/2016:
Every once in awhile a dog enters our life and changes everything. That dog is YOU, Murphy. When I'm feeling desperate and lonely, I search for your face in a cloud. And though my lips may be silent, my heart cries out ever so loud. How can it be you have left me? Are you save in Heaven above? Has God in his goodness embraced you with His sweet everlasting love? Do you know how I yearn to hold you? Can you hear me repeating your name? Can you see that I'm lost without you? That nothing, no nothing's the same? In time will I be more accepting? Will my poor heart begin to mend? And will I find peace in knowing I'll be with you once again? I miss your love, I miss your touch, but I feel you in my heart every day, Murphy. I love you to the moon and back and miss you so,
Momma XOXOXO

02/18/2016:
My precious Murphy boy, I miss you more every single day. I can't believe 20 months have gone by since I held and kissed you last. You made my life complete, and nothing is the same without you. I've never loved anyone or anything as much as I love you, Doodles. Thank you for sending me Spencer. He's become a darling young boy who loves to be kissed and petted. He's so much like you, Murph. I can't wait until we're together again, my darling boy. You really are my sunshine. I love you more than life itself and miss you so very much,
Momma XOXOXO

03/18/2016:
Surely if God could look like something of this world that we could all see and relate to, it would undoubtedly be a Golden Retriever. And that Golden Retriever would be you, beautiful Murphy. Here we are at 21 months. The pain is still the same, as is the love I have for you in my heart. You made everything okay with your silky golden locks and your amazing smile. You'll always be the love of my life, and I'm so very thankful for our time together. I love you more than anything in the universe and miss you so much. I'll be there as soon as I can, darling boy. Happy Easter!
Momma XOXOXO

04/18/2016:
My precious Murphy, I'll never forget the joy you brought to my life and the happiness we shared. Today marks 22 months since I held and kissed you last; sometimes it seems like yesterday, and at other times it seems so long ago. I think about you all the time, remembering the delight in every moment we were graced to spend together. You're my goodest boy in the world of worlds, Doodles. I'm so sorry for what you had to endure. Please forgive me for being unable to fix it this time. I really did try, my darling. Always remember Momma's always right here, Murphy, right here. You are forever my sunshine. Never forget how much I love and miss you, my beautiful boy!
Momma XOXOXO

05/18/2016:
Beautiful Murphy boy, it's now 23 months since we had to say goodbye. How has this much time elapsed when it seems as though I was rubbing your belly just last night? I miss you more than ever. I love you with everything I am and always will. You are the most magnificent gift I've ever received, and I'm so very grateful for the love and happiness you brought to my life. You're pure magic, Doodles. Every second we had together was joyful and I felt so safe. Without you life remains a constant struggle. Spencer is a great help. He is so much like you and a very loving boy. Thank you again for giving him to me. Remember forever how very much I love and miss you. darling boy. I love you to the ends of the universe and anxiously await the day we are together again. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'll always be right here. I love you more than anything in the universe and miss you so very much.
Momma XOXOXO

06/18/2016:
My darling boy, at exactly 3:20 PM 2 years ago today as you lay in my arms, we said our last goodbye. I've relived every moment as the clock ticks away. I don't see how that much time has gone by since it often feels like yesterday that you were here, happy and healthy, right by my side. I miss you more each day, Doodles. Without you nearly everything has deteriorated, including my health. With you by my side it seemed nothing was impossible. Now so many things are. I can't wait to be with you again, rubbing your soft belly and inhaling your scent. You were and always will be my everything, Poodle. As always, never forget Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I love you to the moon and back and miss you so. You are forever my most beloved boy.
Momma XOXOXO

07/18/2016:
My precious baby doll, how is it that 25 months have passed since I held you last? It's beyond my imagination. As I'm sure you know, every day is a challenge. Next Tuesday I'm going into the hospital for a big surgery. Spencer will be in good hands with Michael and Lynn, as will Grady with Eve. If all goes well, I'll eventually come home to them. If not I'll come to join you, never to be separated again! I have very mixed emotions about this, Murphy. On one hand Spencer and Grady need me, and on the other hand I want to be with you again. I know you'll be with me in spirit, just as you always are. I miss you so terribly much, my Poodle. You're my goodest boy in the world of worlds. Remember no matter what, Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I love you to the ends of the universe and beyond, and miss you more than words can say.
Momma XOXOO

08/18/2016:
Darling boy, how I wish I could wrap my arms around you, bury my face in your hair and inhale your scent. How I wish I could rub your sweet, soft belly as we fall asleep. Do you see the gorgeous full moon tonight? Can you hear me talk and sing to you on a daily basis? Precious Gabby Girl joined you on August 6. Isn't she a darling, very special girl? I had come to love her as if she were my own, Poodle Doo. Take good care of her, okay? As you probably know, my surgery was rescheduled for August 30, the day before your birthday. I still have mixed emotions about where I'll be when I wake up from the anesthesia. Will I be in a hospital bed or will I be with my wonderful Murphy Dog? Either way, I'll write your birthday greeting before I go into the hospital. Spencer and Grady send you their love, too. You're my sunshine, Doodles, my everything. Never forget Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Always and forever. I love you to the depths of my soul and beyond, and miss you more than ever. I love you my beautiful golden boy!
Momma XOXOXO

08/31/2016:
Happy birthday my precious boy! I hope you and all your friends have a BIG party with lots of good food, presents and games. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you a giant hug and lots of kisses. Spencer is at Michael and Lynn's house and Grady is staying with Eve. Watch over them until they can return home. Please be with me during my surgery and as I recuperate. You're always in my heart and in my thoughts, Doodles. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Forever and a day. I love you to the moon and back and miss you so very much it hurts. Happy birthday my darling boy!!
Momma XOXOXO

03/02/2017:
Darling Murphy, my precious boy, there isn't a day that goes by in which I don't think about you, how terribly much I miss you, and how much I wish I was with you. It's not just on holidays and sad anniversaries; it's every moment of every day. My heart is still shattered, life has little meaning, and nothing is the same without you, beautiful boy. I love you with every bit of my being and miss you more than words could ever express. Just never forget, no matter what, Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Always and forever. I love you so, my magnificent lover boy!!
Momma XOXOXO

04/18/2017:
Darling boy, I miss you so much. Life is so incredibly difficult without you, and barely worth living. If it weren't for Spencer and Grady, I'd be with you now. I don't know what to do anymore, Doodles. Another year has gone by for Bella and Jack, and your 3 year mark is fast approaching. How can that be possible? In many ways it seems like yesterday, in other ways an eternity. It's so hard to push the memories of that horrendous day further back into my mind. I want to remember all the wonderful days we had. Please help me. I need you so much, my Poodle. Spencer and Grady send their love. They're both doing well. I'm sure you're very proud of what a darling young boy Spencer has become, thanks to your guidance during his first few months. Remember that Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Forever and a day. I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you more than life itself and will never be able to adequately express how much you mean to me and how much you are missed. I love you so, Murphy my precious golden boy!
Momma XOXOXO

06/18/2017:
My beautiful Murphy, it's 3 years today since I held you in my arms and we said goodbye. How can that be? So much has changed. We made the very long drive last month and are now living in Seattle. You'd love it, Doodles; it's much cooler and more comfortable than Florida, dogs are welcome almost everywhere, and there are so many places to go and things to do outdoors. We go as often as possible to the dog beach on Lake Washington, and Spencer has ridden the city bus downtown to walk around, even through Pike Place Market. The Vashon Island ferry beach is only a few minutes away where we take Spencer and Winnie to walk and run. Spencer is enjoying his 3 Dalmatian cousins quite a bit. Grady thinks they're all too loud (they are). I know you're here with us in spirit, Poodle Doo, but I wish you were here in the flesh. I'm sure you were proud of both Spencer and Grady for making the arduous 6 day trip with me. Visit me in my dreams whenever you can, and know that I love you more than life itself and miss you more every day. Thank you for being my beloved boy, and always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'm only a heartbeat away. I love you so very much, my darling Dudes!
Momma XOXOXO

07/18/2017:
Darling boy, another month has come and gone, but still I miss you more each and every day. You'll always be my goodest boy in the world of worlds. Can you hear me talk to you every day? Can you see me tuck your collar between my shoulder and neck each night when I go to sleep? Spencer Lee and I talk about you almost every day. He was so little when you crossed the Rainbow Bridge, but I always want him to remember your name. He loved you so as did Grady, and of course me, my precious Poodle. Life remains a constant challenge without you by my side but we keep plugging along, wishing you were somehow here again as the song goes. You'll forever be my best friend, my soulmate, the love of my life. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I love you with all my heart and soul, to the ends of the universe and back. I miss you so very much, my golden boy!
Momma XOXOXO

08/18/2017:
Beautiful Murphy, how is it that 38 months have passed already? It seems like yesterday I was rubbing your belly and feeling your every breath. How I miss those days. How I miss you, Doodles. You will live forever in my heart, and half my soul is you. I can't wait to be with you again, Murph. You made life worthwhile, and I'm still trying to find my way without you. Please continue to watch over Spencer Lee and Grady. I love you to the moon and back and miss you so terribly much. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'm always with you, my angel!
Momma XOXOXO

08/31/2017:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY my darling little boy! Thirteen years ago today I could never have imagined the utter joy you would bring to my life. I hope every moment of your special day has been perfect, filled with presents and games and your favorite foods, shared with all your wonderful friends like Bella, Jack, London, Charlotte, Danny, Mattie, Coco and all the rest. Each one has a special place in my heart. Spencer Lee and Grady send their love. You are missed more than words can describe, and loved with every millimeter of my heart. You're my goodest boy in the world of worlds, Doodles. You are my sunshine, and I love you to the moon and back. Never forget Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'll always be right here, little Rooty Toot. Come visit me when you can. I love you and miss you so, my golden boy!
Momma XOXOXO

11/23/2017:
Happy Thanksgiving, my baby doll! I hope you ate lots and lots of turkey and trimmings with all your friends. I'm sure it has been quite the feast. I miss you so terribly much, Doodles. Still nothing is right with the world. I'm sure you know as there are times I feel you near. Please continue to watch over Spencer Lee, Grady, and me too. We sure need your watchful eyes, the ones that could look directly into my soul. You will always be my goodest boy in the world of worlds, Poodle. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Big hugs, kisses and belly rubs! I love you to infinity and miss you SO much,
Momma XOXOXO

12/18/2017:
My darling, beautiful boy, today marks 3-1/2 years since we said goodbye. I have no idea where the time went as it still feels like yesterday I held you in my arms and watched you make your journey to that beautiful, wondrous place where there is no pain or suffering, no sadness or grief, only joy at being reunited with and introduced to all the loved ones who have gone before us. Some day that will be you and me, Doodles! Give big kisses to all your precious friends, and continue to take good care of Baby Mac. I will never, ever stop missing you, Murphy. You will always be the love of my life, my very best friend, my confidante and soulmate. Please keep watching over Spencer Lee, who will be 4 years old next month. He's a wonderful boy, and I feel sure some part of you lives on inside him. Also, please continue to watch over Grady Girl as I know you have been, especially lately. She finally turned the corner today from another round of egg laying and the very difficult repercussions. You know how much I love and need them. After all, you gave me the idea to get Spencer in the first place, remember? I wish you would have had more time with him, Poodle. Never forget how much I love you, and how incredibly sorry I am. You are my sunshine. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Forever and a day. I love you with all my heart and soul and miss you so terribly much. All I want for Christmas is you.
Momma XOXOXO

12/25/2017:
Merry Christmas, my precious pup!! Have you had a wonderful day full of good friends, good food, beautiful decorations and all the toys you could ever want? Did you hear me singing and talking to you, and feel the multitude of kisses I sent? I hope you're having a blast with all the other fur and feather kids, Doodles. Please tell each one Merry Christmas for me, and give the extra special ones big hugs, and tell them to give you big hugs from me. I wish I could breathe in your scent, run my fingers through your golden locks, and rub that warm, soft belly for you. I miss you so much, Murphy. I never knew a love like ours. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the joy and magic you brought to my life. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I love you with everything that I am and miss you so very much,
Momma XOXOXO

01/18/2018:
Sweetest boy, I miss you so much it hurts. I love you to infinity and back. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Forever and a day. I love you so,Doodles!
Momma XOXOXO

02/18/2018:
Hi my beautiful baby doll. I know you were there to meet Dippy when he arrived and have introduced him to all your friends. Take good care of him, Poodle. Give everyone big hugs and kisses from me. I miss you more each day. Life will never be the same without you, darling boy. You are my goodest boy in the world of worlds and I'd love to be rubbing your warm, soft, sweet bellsy right now. We are all tucked into bed on a very cold and windy night. If only you were here, too. Always remember, Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I'm always right here. Please come visit when you can. I love you with all my heart and miss you so very much.
Momma XOXOXO

03/18/2018:
My darling, precious Poodle, I think about you multiple times a day, wishing I could turn back time. But there are also multitudes of wonderful photos and memories of those glorious days when you were here. How I miss your magic, Murphy. You made life worthwhile. Thank you for the joy you brought me every single day. Big hugs to Dippy, and to Bella and Jack, whose anniversaries are in April and May, as well as Baby Mac. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Forever. I love you more than life itself and miss you so,
Momma XOXOXO

04/18/2018:
Beautiful Murphy, you are missed so much. Sometimes I run my finger's through Spencer's silky hair down to his belly and remember how it felt to do that to you. It was the most wonderful, peaceful feeling. The two of you have a great deal in common, yet also a few unique differences. How am I so blessed to be Momma to both of you? Please help me try to move forward, Doodles. Life has a hole in it no one can fill. You are my one true soulmate. Give Dippy and all your friends lots of kisses for me. I'm so sorry, Poodle. Please forgive me for not being able to save you. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I love you so much it hurts and miss you so.
Momma XOXOXO

05/18/2018:
My sweetest Rooty Toot, here we are at another month gone by, almost at 4 years since we had to say goodbye. I don't know where the time has gone. Sometimes it seems like yesterday you were just a little puppy, and sometimes as though it has been forever since I held you last. You were my everything, Murph. You always will be. Part of my heart went with you. I hope you can feel the love tonight, and every moment of every day. Again, please forgive me for the decisions I was forced to make, as I am unable to forgive myself. There really are no words to adequately express what you have meant to me, how much I love you, and how incredibly much you are missed. You're my goodest boy in the world of worlds, Doodle. Love and hugs to Dippy and all your friends. I love and miss you so much,
Momma XOXOXO

06/18/2018:
Well my darling little boy, that most dreaded day of the year has come again. Today is your 4th anniversary at the Rainbow Bridge. I don't understand how this much time has passed. I think about you multiple times a day, and always at bedtime. I miss everything about you, Murph. From your scent to your silky golden hair and beautiful nature, always right next to me. Your eyes could look directly into and connect with my soul. That connection will last for eternity. Momma's right here, Doodles. I love you beyond eternity and miss you so!
Momma XOXOXO

07/18/2018:
Precious Poodle, so much has transpired since I wrote last. Jonathan and Kathleen had a beautiful baby boy on June 21st, which means you and Spencer Lee are "uncles"! I take care of the little one often, and will when they return to work. Spencer is very leery of the baby. All the dogs are. Grady hasn't met him yet. He's a good baby and cute as a button with great big blue eyes. I know you would like him, Doodles. How are things at the Bridge? Are you happy, running free and playing with everyone? I sure hope so. Give all the kids big hugs and kisses from me, and take good care of tiny Bijoux, too. Never forget Momma's right here, sweetest Murphy, right here. I love you with all my heart and miss you so very much,
Momma XOXOXO

08/18/2018:
Precious Puppy Paws, yet another month has passed, and in 13 days it's your birthday! It's not fair; you should still be here. I sure hope it's a billion times better where you and your friends are waiting for us. The adorable little baby is almost 2 months old and very attached to me, and vice versa. When he sees me he gets all excited, kicking his legs, smiling and baby talking. I love him very much. But to be honest, I would still prefer to be alone with Spencer and Grady, thinking about my Doodles every day and night. You three are MY babies. I often bury my face in Spencer's thick hair and smell you. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I love you more than words can say and miss everything about you more each day.
Momma XOXOXO

08/31/2018:
Happy 14th Birthday, my darling Puppy Paws!! I hope all your fur and feather friends have created a wonderful party for you with lots of presents and all your favorite food. It's hard to believe this is your 4th birthday away from me. Spencer, Grady and I wish you the happiest of days, precious pup. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Always and forever. I love you more than anything in the world and miss you so terribly much, Momma XOXOXO

09/18/2018:
Oh, my beautiful boy, how much I miss you. Ever single thing about you. I can't wait for the day I have you in my arms again, Puppers! Thank you so much for Spencer. You knew how much I would miss all our physical contact, and isn't it amazing that adorable but incredibly ornery puppy turned into a young dog who wants nothing more than to be petted, kissed and snuggled. For everything you were and are to me, Poodle, I am forever in your debt. Always remember Momma's right here Murphy, right here. I love you to the moon and back and miss you so much,
Momma XOXOXO

10/18/2018:
Darling Doodles, I wish you were here right now lying on my other side from Spencer. I could rub your sweet belly and feel you breathe again. I miss that so much. Everything about you was magical. You brought more joy to life than I knew was possible. Thank you for being The Golden One. Every second with you was a blessing, Rooty Toot. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. Forever. I love you with all that I am and miss you so very much,
Momma XOXOXO

11/18/2018:
Murphy my darling boy, it's almost Thanksgiving, the fourth without you. It's so hard to keep trying to navigate this world. I need you, my baby boy. I grieve for you every day. Please be happy and know how incredibly much you are treasured, loved and missed. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy. I love you and miss you so much,
Momma XOXOXO

11/22/2018:
Happy Thanksgiving, Puppers! Enjoy the feast and have fun with all your friends! Tell them I said hello and give them big kisses for me, especially Dippy, Gryffindor, Tubby, Reese, Bella, Jack and Baby Mac. You are all missed and loved so much. Until we meet again, always remember Momma's right here. I love you so very much and miss you terribly, my precious golden boy,
Momma XOXOXO

12/25/2018:
Merry Christmas my baby boy!! I hope it's wonderful! There's no better place to be for Christmas other than if you were here, Doodles. Have a beautiful and blessed Christmas and very Happy New Year, darling! All I want for Christmas is you. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy. I love you to the ends of the universe and miss you so,
Momma XOXO

06/18/2020:
All my love forever, my darling, beautiful boy. Until we meet again, Momma's right here, Murphy. I love and miss you so very much,
Momma XOXOXO

07/18/2020:
Darling Murphy, I miss you more every single day. What I wouldn't do to have you back, young and free of all the pain and suffering! You'll always be my Golden Prince. I love you to the ends of the universe. Always remember Momma's right here, Poodle, right here. We'll be together soon, precious boy! I love and miss you so,
Momma XOXOXO

08/18/2020:
Precious Puppers, do you know how much you're loved and missed? I thought last week I might be coming to join you soon. It might be sooner than we thought. But Spencer and Grady need me too. I love my babies. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy. I love you to the moon and back, my pride and joy!!!
Momma XOXOXO

08/31/2020:
Happy birthday my wonderful, beautiful baby boy!! I hope your entire day was everything you could wish for. I also hope our beloved Aunt Marilyn has her arms around you right now as I'm writing this and thinking of you both. I love you more than I could ever tell you, Murphy. You'll always be the love of my life. And always remember Momma's's right here Murphy, right here. Watch over us, my darling. I love and miss you so terribly much, golden prince!!
Momma XOXOXO

09/18/2020:
Darling Doodles, how I miss every little thing about you! I think of you day and night and wish you were here with us. We all send our hugs, kisses and love. We were meant to be together, Poodle. Always remember Momma's right here, Murphy, right here. I miss you and love you beyond infinity!
Momma XOXOXO

01/18/2021:
My beautiful, darling beloved boys, never ever forget how much Momma loves you. I would've gladly died for you both.