Mystic, today a most untimely break came into my heart, acute kidney failure took your life much to early. I have had you to love for nearly five years, I had been thinking of how we would celebrate your birthday in a few weeks. My heart is simply to broken at this moment. I'll come back in a few days to write about the wonders of your short life.

I'll be taking you for your cremation tomorrow, staying at your little body transitions into cremains. I'm wasn't ready for your death. I don't have a crystal butterfly to place on your urn...there were suppose to be so many more caterpillars before I would need a butterfly for you.

I love you so much. Your life was too short. My heart breaks completely.

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MYSTIC PHANTOM KITKAT.....I am simply heartbroken at your unexpected death Tuesday. When I picked you up and your were so limp, I was horrified.
I called the vet and put you in your carrier, drove 80mph to get you to the vet. Dr. Kingus said you were having heart problems, your kidney values were bad. She thought you might be blocked and potentially treatable, gave you medication to see if your heart rhythm would improve. It did not. Additional labs diagnosed kidney failure causing heart failure. They said you had congenital kidney disease. It was clear I was losing you. I spent some time with you. I kissed you, told you how much I love you, told you what a good boy you were as you were enuthanized. The vet tech made paw prints, we planned your cremation. I brought you home. Your littermates Nova and Zen, cousin Zeiss surrounded your carrier with much sniffing. I put you on the bed. I think they might have thought you were sleeping. I made impressions of your paw for paw prints then placed you in your favorite place on the cat tree. Zen was very hyper, playing crazy Zen style. At 5:00 am. Nova came in, sniffed your body then laid on you. I went into the bedroom Zen and Zeiss were sitting side by side by you, Nova was on the top shelf of the HabiCats.

Wednesday morning I took you back to your vet's office for your cremation. You were placed in the crematory, I sat by the door in disbelief, tears
spilling from my heart, trying to find some understanding how this could be happening. After your cremation, I chose a few of your small bones to keep. I picked up your skull a few times. I really wanted to kiss it, as I often kissed you on top of your head. I brought you back home. Your urn, picture, flowers Jen sent and a favorite toy are on the table. I'm not sure how to do your permanent memorial and just can't look for your crystal butterfly yet.

You are only 4 years old. At first I started feeling like I didn't have any memories of you as I had not had you long enough to have memories. I've been looking through pictures and thinking about your short life. I reserved you when Sami was 17 years old and diagnosed with a likely fatal illness. I didn't want to come home one day and be without kitties. I reserved Nova and you believing Sami would pass away before you came home. Sami was stable when I drove to Chicago to pick you and Nova up, I took your tiny littermate too. As I drove back home I was excited and scared. It had been a long time since I had kittens, Sami was 17 with failing health. I was worried bringing kittens home might not be good for Sami and create a stressful start for 3 precious kittens. When we got home, I confined you along with your littermates to the living room/kitten. When I opened the door to your carrier, three sleepy kittens came out and were soon playing like mad, running all over the place, chasing each other around the couch, exploring new toys, climbing the scratching post, eating, drinking, using the litterbox. After so much activity the three of you went into the
little house and slept you were so cute. I went to spend time with Sami and making sure he was ok. Sami quickly protested kitten confinement. He broke down the barrier and walked right up to you and sniffed your heard. You puffed up all your little fur and gave one big hiss before I had Sami in my arms to take him out. Over the next week of your confinement, Sami was not happy. When you were free, Sami was so very happy. He immediately loved his 3 new kittens, you have a new kitty mom. Your tiny little brother waltz right up to Sami nose to nose turned into a bond that brought obvious peace to Sami earning the little kitten his name Zen.

You, Nova and Zen then slept on the pillow above my head for the next few weeks. Then you were playing in your usual crazy fashion, when you discovered the cat condo. The tree of you left my pillow for sleep and moved to the condo. I called you my teens who moved out on their own. It was so sweet to see your discoveries. Curiosity is understatement for your exploration. You were in the refrigerator when the door was opened, dishwasher, loving learning about your new home and family. One Saturday, as I put away groceries you, Nova and Zen jumped into the refrigerator to explore the veggies. I got the camera for a video. Nova and Zen were bounching all over the place pulling, tugging, biting on the containers places in the refrigerator. Zen jumped out of the shelf then out popped you from the back of the refrigerator. You loved receipt paper wards so much I purchased a package of receipt paper to make sure you always had plenty of receipts to play with. For your first Christmas, you got a Fancy Forrest Cat Tree, you and your siblings became very happy TreeKats and love your tree for Christmas and your entire life. You loved popcorn. If I had popcorn you stood on your back paws and reached up with a front paw for popcorn. I gave you one kennel and it was the best treat ever. You only needed one piece. Your third birthday was so much fun with you. You have a very good day. You loved your tuna birthday cake with the big #3 candle that flickered. You sat on the template as I put your curves on the wall. When the curves were up, you sat on the back of the recliner with your eyes fixed on the curves. Finally, I put the table up against the wall, and up the wall you went climbing up to the top curve. You were the most happy little kitty along with your siblings. You spend many sleeping moments on the top curve. You also had your first response to catnip on your third birthday and became a huge catnip fan from that point on.

When we moved to our new house, you gave me a huge scare. I locked you in the bathroom when the movers came. The movers loaded the truck and left. I stayed behind to let you out. I knew you would be scared as the house was mostly empty. I stayed with you a few minutes, reassured you I would come right back as soon as the moving truck was unloaded and told you I would be back to get you, that I wasn't leaving you behind. We needed to stay for a few days and clean the old home. I met the moving truck for unloading. When I came back, I couldn't find you. I called and called you, you didn't come. The home was empty, no real place to hide. I opened all the cabinets and you were not there. I became frantic. I knew you had not got out because I locked you into the bathroom from the outside and the door needed a key to get in and I had let you out after the movers left. I saw you before I left. In the move, a heat vent cover was knocked out of place by the movers. When I saw the uncovered vent, couldn't find you I had this horrible fear you had gone into the ducts. I tried to figure out if your head could have fit through the opening and really didn't think so but knew I couldn't find you anywhere. I went through the cabinets again. I called the landlord telling her I thought you were had gone into the vent opening and we had to get you out. I was in a panic, my voice shaking in fear. As I talked to the landlord I went into the kitchen, suddenly I saw a limber paw hanging from a cabinet bottom. Then I thought you had fallen between a cabinets from the top and were stuck.....not realizing at the moment, the cabinet tops were flush with the ceiling. I opened a cabinet door and saw you. You had gone so far back in the cabinet, I couldn't see you when I was looking, you were sound asleep, and your paw was showing in the gap where the corner cabinets met, relaxed, hanging out!!!! I pulled you out of the cabinet, loaded you with kisses. Moving had taken it's toll!!! I'm sure the landlord told that story at dinner and had a good laugh!!!

Mystic every morning, you escorted me downstairs as I left for work. Sometimes your siblings were there, but you were always going with me. When I came home, if you didn't get to the door before I was in, I heard your paws hit the floor as you were jumping from your tree or curves, and sleepy eyed you were there, to stand on you back legs, stretch reaching one paw up to be picked up for a shoulder ride up the stairs as I came home. Although I tried to protect my work cloths from cat fur, I could never say no to your request of a ride up the stairs.

We played every night with string toys. Your favorites were dabird, go cat catcher mouse, and keko flies. You did summersaults and big jumps at times other times your play was mellow. Because you loved the mouse on the go cat so well, I bought lots of refills. Sometimes I hid a mouse refill and waited for you to find it............that made you the happiest boy ever. You would clinch it in your teeth, growl and made it clear you would not share that one toy. I had planned to give the vets office to give you after you awakened from your dental cleaning in a few weeks.

Almost every night you came to bed with me, stuffed yourself in your bowl and stuck your paw over the side. As I got comfy in bed, I would reach over and pet your paw or run my fingers on the side of the bowl as you tried to catch me. You bowl is so empty.

When you had E-coli in September, I was very worried about you. You bled all over the bathroom floor, I rushed you to the emergency hospital, I was told you had cystitis. I lobbied (demanded) for antibiotics and when the culture came back, you had E-coli. I knew that could have turned out badly if you hadn't got the antibiotics. You're follow up culture with Dr. Feuerbach was negative. I was so relieved. I felt I could have lost you at that time and know I must have tripled your hugs, kisses, cuddle quota. I never lost sight E-coli could have taken you. At time passed, I felt we had beat E-coli and you would be fine.
I never imagined the next health concern would be fatal. You were suppose to have your teeth cleaned in May, not euthanized in April.

Mystic, I love you so much, you were only 4, I'm so glad I got to be with you and hold you as you died, but my heart may just be broken forever!

May 18, 2015. Mystic today was to be your 5th birthday....just weeks ago I talked with you about how we needed to plan to celebrate your, Nova and Zen's birthday as turning 5 was so special. I felt a little sad that you would be turning 5 as at the time that meant 5 years of your life would have passed...I never imagined, you would have died before your 5th birthday. I ordered a box of dabird refills....12....just for you, they were here today, we'll use them in your memory and honor. I celebrated with Nova and Zen, it seemed so unreal you are not here to celebrate. I don't know how many more birthdays Nova and Zen will have either. Nova's kidney ultrasound and potassium lab was not normal. Zen's ultrasound was not. I can't imagine losing all 3 of you before you would be in your late teens. Breaks my heart. Your 3rd birthday was so much fun. You were so involved as I installed the shelves, your huge big eyes on looking at the curves waiting to climb them, your big eyes when you saw Zen in the bathroom mirror as you checked out the curve and Zen peeked around the cabinets...your first response to catnip, your peeping through the big scratching post hole....
Mystic, my heart is so very broken. I wish I could wake up and find I've just had a terrible dream! I miss you so much!.

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