Most people wouldn't think you can grow an attachment to a reptile. And before Neina, I probably would have agreed with you. I've had many pets before, but she was different. She was like having a living dinosaur, and I was absolutely fascinated by her every move: every blink, every walk, watching her eat, watching her see a bird in the sky, a new animal at the vet or something scary on TV-yes, she watched TV. I never got tired of watching her experience life every single day.

Anyone who met Neina, was very intrigued by her and adored her too. Vet techs, strangers, family and friends, would always be very cautious around her at first, and rightfully so, she was over 4 feet long, but she quickly melted their hearts. Everyone has at least one funny Neina story that they love sharing with me. I take pride in the many, many times I heard people say, "she's the best/sweetest/most well-behaved iguana I've ever met!" Sure I put hours every day into "socializing" her at a very young age, but it was her truly relaxed temperament and sweet face that won their hearts. She was calm, she was sweet and she loved people. Of course she was still a diva and she needed her space at times, but we had our unspoken agreements and I respected her boundaries (basically she trained me very, very well).

There was a time in her early years that I took her everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I took her to the park, to the beach, on vacation. Anywhere I went, as long as there was sun, Neina went too. She loved the car. She had her own spot where she could catch the best sun in the back window. People would stop and take pictures of her --she really was a mini celebrity everywhere she went :) She took it all in stride though and always trusted me to keep her safe. She grew to be quite large and very confident and curious about everything around her.

As she grew older, she slowed down a bit, spending most of her time on her perch, under her UVB and sun lamp in her large bedroom terrarium enjoying her window views of the pool, trees and wildlife in the back yard-we called this her retirement. In January 2017 Neina was diagnosed with cancer, which had spread from her stomach to her liver and other parts of her body. I was told the cancer was not treatable and there was nothing I could do but enjoy every day I have left with her. I was devastated and felt helpless, but did my best to be strong for her and stay positive.

Turns out, she had no idea she was sick. She lost some mobility and strength so we built her a safety ramp so she could slowly climb up to her modified perch. I surrounded her with love and photos, inspirational quotes and comforting words sent from her friends and family. I got her a cancer ribbon pin that said, "you're my hero". Her pin said, "I will never give up"...and she never did.

I will never forget the determination in her eyes those last few months of her life as she slowly climbed her way up to the top of her perch every morning, just as she always had. Neina renewed my faith in God. She taught me how to be patient and show unconditional love to and compassion for all animals-regardless of form. She taught me so much patience and how to slow down to enjoy quiet and peace. She taught me to be highly observant, and to see the importance of the most subtle of cues.

Less than 4 months after her diagnosis, Neina passed away peacefully in her sleep while I laid beside her. She was, and still is, my hero. I was truly blessed and lucky to have had Neina in my life as long as I did, and feel comfort knowing she is no longer in pain.

I miss my little green tanning buddy. I miss seeing her precious little face every day. I miss the way her face appeared to always be smiling. But most of all, I miss holding her and feeling the irreplaceable peace I felt knowing my little angel was still here with me. The unconditional love and friendship we share is an unbreakable bond. I still feel her presence with me everywhere, and live each day with confidence I will see her again.

I will close with the phrases I repeated to her every day. Mama loves you. You're a good girl. I'm so proud of you. Stay strong. I love you <3

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7/25/20: HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY my sweet little angel! I miss you so much.I am having collards, blueberries & watermelon in your honor today.I hope you are enjoying the same at RB:)I still love & miss you more than ever. You were always such a good girl & left me with so many happy memories. Until I see you again, bask in the sun my sweet girl & wait for me. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

5/2/20: Hello my sweet angel! I can't believe it's been 3 years since you went to Rainbow Bridge. Today was the most beautiful day. I imagined you outside basking in the sun with me:) as the time passes, I am still missing you & remembering the good times until I can see you again. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

2/17/20: Hello my sweet little angel! I have been thinking about you & missing you so much. The hibiscus are blooming. They always make me smile & think of you because they are beautiful & because I know you would love to eat them. I hope you're relaxing at RB knowing that you are so loved. Thank you for being my sweet little earth angel for so many years. You were always such a good girl. Until I see you again please know mama loves you more than anything XOXO<3<3

12/25/19: Merry Christmas my sweet little angel. I miss you so much! Christmas was fun today, but I was thinking of you a lot because you were always such a big part of everything I did & I wish I could have you here with me again. I can still picture you wearing your Santa outfit-so cute! I saw a small rainbow in the sky while I was driving home & thought of you :) I hope you're basking in the warm sun rays at Rainbow Bridge knowing you are so very loved and missed every day. Wait for mama, I will be there soon enough my good girl. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

10/31/19: Happy Halloween my little plumpkin! You're forever the most adorable thing I've ever seen in a Halloween costume. Thank you for tolerating all of the costumes I put you in over the years:) I know you didn't like it & then silently judged me for days but you're such a good girl. I have a pajama set with iguanas on it now-it was fitting to wear them tonight as my costume at home. Rest in the warm sun rays and know mama loves you & misses you so very much. See you soon enough XOXO<3<3

10/1/19: Hello my sweet little angel! Time is flying by but I am always thinking of you & remembering all the good times. Any time with you was always my favorite:) Thank you for all the happy memories & always being such a good girl. Please rest peacefully at Rainbow Bridge, bask in the sun with Thack & Sophie, wait for mama & know I love you & miss you so very much XOXO<3<3

9/16/19: Hello my sweet little angel. Mama has missed you so much! It has been a rough couple weeks. I can't believe how quickly time is going by, but it makes me feel so happy to have so many great memories with you & see sweet signs that remind me of you everywhere I go:) Thank you for being my little earth angel for so many years & for always being such a good girl. Mama loves you and will see you at Rainbow Bridge soon enough! XOXO<3<3

8/26/19: Hello my sweet little angel! Mama misses you so much! My trip back home was truly beautiful, I know you were there with me in spirit:) I hope you're enjoying your time at Rainbow Bridge & know mama misses you & loves you so much! Sleep tight my little nugget. Mama will be there soon enough XOXO <3<3

8/5/19: Hello my sweet little angel! Mama is thinking of you so much & I wish you were here with me. I hope you enjoyed your birthday week & feel loved. I miss you so much my sweet girl! See you at the bridge soon enough Xoxo <3<3

7/25/19: Happy Birthday my sweet Neina Sue! You are 16 this year. May you have all the blueberries, strawberries, bananas, wheat bread, & sweet potatoes you can eat. Maybe finally get a bite of pizza like you would always try to take:)I miss you so much. Thank you for being mama's good girl I love you XOXO<3<3

7/22/19: Hello my sweet little angel. What a week! The weather was so warm-maybe a little too warm even for you:) Somebody has a birthday coming up this week Ms. Subert! I can't believe you'd be 16 years old this year!!! Happy Birthday sweet pea:-* I sure miss you a lot. I hope you're relaxing at Rainbow Bridge knowing how much you're loved. Thank you for being such a good girl for mama & always making me feel at peace. I miss you XOXO<3<3

7/9/19: Hello my sweet little angel! Mama misses you so very much! I have been keeping busy, but am always thinking about you. I imagine you resting peacefully at Rainbow Bridge waiting for mama. Hopefully you are with Thack & Sophie making friends. You sure were one of a kind, Neina Sue. I cannot imagine anything ever filling that special spot you have occupied for so many years in my heart. I always dreaded the day you would pass, and it's just as hard as I imagined. I'm sorry you were in pain, & am so proud of you for being so strong fighting your cancer every day. I am so grateful that you were my little muchkin nugget for so many years and left me with years of great memories. It was just you and me. When I was down & couldn't leave the house, you were there always happy to keep me company. You traveled everywhere & moved so many times with me-at least 10 that I can think of. You were so resilient and content, exploring each new place each time. I am laughing thinking about how you would go around the perimeter of each & every room tongue flicking. And how even after being out of the old house for years, you walked straight into the house, through the living room and up the stairs to your old bedroom. You were my little explorer-always on a mission! Rest for now, mama will be there soon enough my good girl:) I love you very much sweet pea XOXO<3<3

6/24/19:Hello my sweet angel. I'm sorry I didn't post anything last week, but I sure was thinking about you a lot! Mama misses you so very much! I am so happy to be done with school & know you were there with me throughout the whole program-especially on those long nights & frustrating days when I just wanted to give up. I'd just look at your picture under the monitor & saw your sweet smile & it made me know I had to keep going. You fought so hard each day you had cancer-each day you slowly walked up to your perch & you never gave up until your little body couldn't take it so you went to be in heaven. Your fighting spirit kept me going. I would love nothing more than to lay by the pool with you & relax & tan like we used to but I will settle for a long tan with you at Rainbow Bridge forever:) I'll see you soon enough my sweet girl. Until then, please know that you are loved & missed. Thank you for being such a good girl & bringing me such peace & happiness for so many years. Please rest-you deserve it, & catch some good sun for me:)Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

6/10/19: Hello little munchkin! It's official, 1 more day of grad school! I'm still working on my final paper, but I'm always thinking of you. I'm certain I would not have done this program with you around because it would have taken too much time away from you. I'm certain I would not have done a lot of things that I do now because it would have taken time away from you. I would gladly give all of them up to spend time with you again, because any time with you was my favorite but I know this is part of life & I take comfort knowing that I will see you again. For now, mama is just trying to keep busy. I know you'd love the weather here, but I'm sure you're relaxing in the warm rays at Rainbow Bridge waiting for mama. Please wait with Thack & Sophie and your new bridge friends. Thank you for being my little earth angel & leaving me with so many happy memories. You were always such a good girl. Mama loves you so much XOXO<3<3

6/3/19: My little nugget! Mama misses you so much! The weather outside lately is perfect for you. Every time I'm outside I imagine you basking by the pool and walking around in the grass trying to eat everything lol I miss you so much all the time, especially lately-you were my inspiration to keep going. I can't believe only 1 more week of grad school left. When you passed I had to find something to do with my time, & now that school's almost done I guess I'll have to find something else get into-maybe growing more hibiscus-oh, you'd love to eat those too:)You always kept me calm & gave me peace. And now you deserve the same. Please rest in the warm run rays and know you are loved. Thank you for being such a good girl, always keeping me on my toes, & bringing so much joy and happiness to our lives. I will see you at Rainbow Bridge my little munchkin-doodle. I love you so much sweet girl! XOXO <3<3

5/27/19: Hello my sweet angel! I am missing you very much. The hosta we planted together is looking so pretty! It grew some beautiful white flowers again this year. I smile every time I see them because they remind me of you. We opened the pool this weekend & the weather was beautiful. I know you would have loved to tan with me:) & I would love that too. I'm sure you have more than enough sun for some serious basking at Rainbow Bridge though-just wanted you to know I'm always thinking of you & love you very much. You were such a good girl for mama. I love you! XOXO<3<3

5/20/19: Hello my sweet angel. Mama sure had a busy week! I know you were with me each step of the way:) I saw so many cardinals some red & even a yellow one! G-matty said they are a good sign. I miss you so very much my sweet girl. I hope you're resting in the warm sun rays & know how much you're loved & missed each day. Thank you for being my sweet little earth angel & being such a good girl for mama XOXO<3<3

5/13/19: Hello my sweet little angel! Mama misses you so much! I thought of you a lot this week & so many happy memories came flooding to my mind & made me smile. For some reason I kept thinking of how that one vet tech didn't want to give you back to me because you were so sweet. She held you upright like a child at her side above her hip (just as like I did) & walked you around with her & took pictures of you-you were so good! She loved that you watched her as she worked & seemed to listen intently to her when she and others talked. I always loved so much when other people saw what I saw in you-a sweet, inquisitive little green munchkin who was fascinating to watch. You left me changed for the better & your calming spirit still carries on with me throughout my day. My little earth angel-Mama loves you so very much my good girl XOXO<3<3

5/2/19:Hello my sweet little angel. Mama misses you so much! It doesn't feel like it's been 2 years since you passed-I can't believe it! In some ways it seems like forever & in other ways seems like you should still be here in your room. So much has changed in such a short time but I hope you know that you are still loved and missed so much every day. There are so many wonderful memories, pictures, and videos that keep me smiling and remembering the great times when you were here with me-my earth angel. I know you're still here with me in spirit though:)You always were such a good girl for mama. I hope you're relaxing in the warm sun rays and feeling peace knowing that you are so very loved and appreciated. I also hope that you have a full stock of bananas, strawberries, blueberries & sweet potatoes...maybe a few collards for good measure😊 and infinite bath soaks because I know you love them at least twice a day. My little munchkin, you were so funny-you kept me on my toes and kept me laughing-oh the adventures and journeys we had my little best friend. Thank you for all of the wonderful, happy memories and all of the life lessons you taught me-especially patience. And for showing me that a green iguana can be calm (but still sassy) and very lovable (but also potty trained) and just absolutely fascinating to be around. I will see you at the bridge soon enough my sweet Neina Sue! Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

4/22/19: Happy belated Easter my sweet girl! That was the last holiday you celebrated with the family. I remember how you had a sweet reaction to mom's cat. He crept up to the top of your carrier to watch & sniff you and then you stopped to look back at me as if to say, "is this okay?!" when I said it was okay, you were calm and then went about your business with confidence. You're such a good girl. There was some sun for you to tan on the back patio that day and then we saw a rainbow across the bridge on the way home. It was a very special day to spend with you. You have always been & will always be the most special girl to mama I miss you & love you XOXO<3<3

4/15/19: Hello my little angel! I miss you so much. This week was particularly chaotic, but thinking of you puts my mind at ease. Just being around you was so calming:) You always did enjoy your peace & quiet too like your mama. I find myself missing you more and more. Mama's staying busy but always remembering you & eagerly awaiting the time we can be reunited forever. Mama loves you so very much my sweet girl XOXO<3<3

4/8/19: Hello my sweet little nugget. I miss you so very much! I finally cleaned out all the items I packed away in your vet carrier crate-it was probably the 5th time I tried. It was really rough BUT I finally got through it and couldn't believe that I found some of your back spike sheds-it seriously made my day! Something so small back then, was so big to me now. It was like finding a small piece of you. It made me think of your pretty skin. It has to be the coolest thing I've ever seen, the color and the texture-dark and light greens and some yellowish browns, even your random black scales, especially on your tummy. Even your shedding had a cool texture! I'm still such a proud herp mom to this day:) You were always such a good girl for me-I'm so proud of you. We saw a video online of a monitor lizard that went to the bathroom randomly on the floor...and I laughed because I know you would NEVER do something like that. You were so tidy and trained yourself from when you were so young to use the training pads in your bathroom pan-my little woman on a mission! haha I miss everything about you. Until I see you at Rainbow Bridge, please know that I love you, and wait "5 more minutes!" because you know mama is always running late:) have some sweet potatoes and blueberries. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

4/1/19:Hello my sweet little angel! I'm so sorry I missed writing you last week. I hope you're relaxing in the warm sun rays and know how much you are loved and how much joy you brought to so many people while you were my little earth angel. The weather is finally breaking & the flowers are starting to bloom. This time of year always reminds me of you & how I would get excited to get you some outside sun time. I miss you so much-see you at RB! Send b-day wishes to Mr. Jon please. Mama loves you XOXO <3<3

3/18/19: Hello my sweet little angel. I miss you so much! My favorite moments in life were when you were with me. You were always getting into something & making me smile. Oh how much I learned from you:) You brought so much joy to my life & are missed every day. You're such a good girl. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

3/11/19: Hello my sweet little angel. I miss you! Mr. Jon reminded me that he was your pepper man:) I hope you feel loved & missed because I think about you all the time. I know it was time for you to go to Rainbow Bridge to rest, but please know how much you are loved & I'll meet you there. Until then, bask in the warm sun rays with your arms flipped back at your side my sweet girl. Mama loves you <3<3 XOXO

3/4/19:Hello little munchkin! Mama misses you so much. I think of you & look at your pictures all the time-they make me smile:) I hope you're relaxing at Rainbow Bridge in the warm sun rays knowing how much you're loved & missed. Thank you for all of the good memories and for being my little earth angel-you were always such a good girl & made me smile all the time. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

2/25/19: Hello my sweet little angel! Mama misses you so much. I saw more iguanas on Friday than I have in my whole life-none were as cute as you though:) I seriously miss everything about you-you're sneezes come to mind (they were always very productive :D) Nana is enjoying your iguana green room. She likes the warmer temperatures weather just like you did so we gave her your heater too! I hope you're happy basking in the warm sun knowing how much you're loved and have lots of friends to keep you company at Rainbow Bridge until mama joins you. You're such a good girl! XOXO<3<3

2/18/19: Hello my sweet little angel! Life is happening but I am always thinking of you throughout the day-you're my little sweetheart & such a good girl:) I seriously miss every little thing about you...the way you "talked" back to me every morning, the way you demanded quiet time, or the way you always managed to stroll around right into the middle of me trying to do anything productive around the house haha you were the greatest distraction and my best little girlfriend on earth. I loved everything about every minute we had together. I hope you're resting in the warm sun rays at Rainbow Bridge with Thack & Sophie knowing how much you are loved & missed every day. See you at Rainbow Bridge my lil munchkin. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

2/11/19: My little valentine munchkin! I miss you so very much. Mama is sorry for missing last week's Monday night tribute. We were traveling again, but are so happy to be back home:) I hope you feel loved & know I think of you every single day-all throughout the day actually. Nana is moving into your room now. I know you don't mind sharing and I know she loves the color of the walls-iguana green, my favorite! So many great memories of you still keep me smiling. You're such a good girl! Please bask in the sun at Rainbow Bridge until mama joins you forever my sweet angel XOXO<3<3

1/28/19: Hello my sweet little angel! I can't believe how quickly time is flying by. It seems like you were just here not that long ago. I watched some old videos of you & smiled-how adorable?! I feel so happy thinking of all the fun times when you were around:) Remember how I would set you up in your room so that you could watch movies? And you would get so engrossed in them, you even got startled during that scary movie & jumped haha I think that is one of the cutest things you ever did besides block the door with my shoes so I couldn't leave the house when you had a belly full of eggs & were feeling super needy. You're such a good girl. I love you and miss you so very much every single day. I would give anything to see you again. Until then, please know that you are so very loved XOXO<3<3

1/21/19: Hello my sweet little angel! Mama is back in MD and boy do I miss you! I saw so many big, happy green iguanas in Florida. None were as cute as you, but they looked healthy:) I imagine you are basking in the warm sun rays just like them hopefully keeping Thack & Sophie company. It's so cold at home this week though-you would hate it. Mama is almost done grad school!! I still have your picture next to my monitor & I always feel comforted during my long nights of writing papers when I look and see your smiling face as if to say, "you can do this". :) I miss you so much. Until I see you again..Mama loves you. You're a good girl. Stay strong XOXO<3<3

1/8/19: Hello my sweet little angel. Please forgive me for being late with posting my Monday night tribute. I was traveling & my day slipped by. I saw 2 large iguanas in Florida basking in the sun by a lake. I smiled so big and thought of you. I am always thinking about & missing you. Please welcome Grandma Lori into heaven & keep her company until we can join you. Mama loves you so much XOXO<3<3

12/31/18: Happy New Year my sweet angel! I miss you very much but take comfort knowing you're resting peacefully at Rainbow Bridge waiting for mama. I hope you are basking in the warm sun rays & know how much you are loved & missed every day. Cuddle with Sophie & Thack my little pumpkin. Mama loves you so very much my little nugget XOXO<3<3

12/24/18: Hello my sweet girl. Mama misses you so very much. Merry Christmas to you in heaven. Mama will be sending extra love & cuddles to you. I hope you're relaxing at Rainbow Bridge in the warm sun rays & know you are so loved & missed my little angel. You were always the most adorable Ms. Claus & my most precious little gift. Thank you for being such a good girl :>* Your pictures keep me smiling every day. Mama loves you & will see you in heaven soon enough XOXO<3<3

12/17/18: Hello my little nugget! What a crazy week?! I miss you more than ever my sweet little munchkin. No matter what was going on in life, you always calmed me. I'm definitely missing that right now. Christmas is coming up soon & I'm definitely smiling remembering you in your Mrs. Claus outfit:) What a cutie!! I hope you are resting at Rainbow Bridge & know how much you are loved and missed every day my good girl. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

12/10/18: Hello my little angel! Mama misses you so very much! I watched a video of an iguana chasing blueberries today just like you did. It was so very adorable and made me miss you even more :) It's so cold here, you'd hate it but I know you're enjoying the warm sun rays at Rainbow Bridge. Hopefully flipping your arms back at your sides and relaxing with Thack and Sophie. Mama will see you soon enough my little sweetheart, until then please know that mama loves you and thinks about you all the time. Sending you so much love my little angel XOXO<3<3

12/3/18: Hello my sweet angel. I sure miss you. I was doing yard work & instinctively turned around to see if you were staring at me through the window as you always did. I didn't see you there but still felt like you were. I know you're out there somewhere looking after your mama. You're such a sweet girl & I look forward to spending forever with you one day. Until then relax in the warm sun my good girl:) Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

11/26/18: Hello my sweet angel. I can't believe it's Monday again! I had extra sweet potatoes for you on Thanksgiving-your favorite:) I hope you're relaxing at RB enjoying your time in the warm sun rays and know you're always so very loved. I love the pic I posted of you in OC from the early 2000s. You were the first & probably the only iguana to ride the sea rocket and pose on the life saver-what a celebrity! I miss you so much. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

11/19/18: Hello my sweet little angel. It feels like so much time has gone by since you passed & yet I still find myself thinking about you every day-having the instincts to check on you or get you food or something. I still feel you with me throughout each day & the thought of seeing you again is what keeps me going. Mama is still not feeling 100% since the surgery, but you were suffering from cancer. I have no idea how you made it through each day, I'm sorry if you were in a lot of pain. You were so strong, & I'm still so proud of you my good little girl. I hope you have a very Happy Thanksgiving with Sophie Lynn, Thackory & all of your friends at RB. I will enjoy lots of sweet potatoes in your honor ;) Mama loves you and misses you so very much XOXO <3<3

11/12/18: Hello my sweet little angel. I miss you so much! I hope you're relaxing at Rainbow Bridge & know mama loves you! I think of you every day & wish you were still here with me. Thank you for being my good little earth angel for 14 years-we have so many happy, funny memories together. I loved that time I didn't realize you hated the elliptical machine until I turned around and saw you standing there bobbing your head and ready to charge at it...that repetitive motion-I should have known better haha such a quiet, angry little woman you were that day. You also didn't like when I did anything that took attention away from you-like when I would try to do planks and you would mosey over to see what I was doing and seemingly on purpose walk underneath of me and just sit there so I had to find a way around you. Or when I would try to put groceries away and you would climb on top of the bags. Or when I would try to leave the house and you'd walk along my shoe rack and knock every single one off and push them in front of the door. I am so happy to have had you as long as I did. Those memories are just as wonderful, precious, and funny to me as the day they happened. I take great comfort knowing I will see you again. Mama will join you soon enough-and then we will never be separated XOXO<3<3

11/5/18: Hello little nugget! On Halloween I saw the pic of you dressed as Wonder Woman and it made me smile :) My surgery went well, and mama is still recovering. I saw the most beautiful sunset the night prior & thought of you. I think that is how I imagine Rainbow Bridge & heaven-simply beautiful and amazing! I can imagine you there relaxing just as you always did-so calm and patient. I hope you know how much you're missed. I still think of you and miss you every single day my sweet girl. Every time I think of getting another ig or animal I just can't, because they're not you. You left me with so many great memories. Thanks for being my sweet little earth angel and always looking over your mama. You're such a good girl! Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

10/29/18: Happy (almost) Halloween my little plumpkin! It's sadly another year I can't do one of my very favorite (& your least favorite) things for Halloween-dress you up in adorable costumes:) But at least I still have so many pictures of you in costumes that make me smile. Thank you so much for humoring me for so many years. You didn't like the costumes, but you just took a deep breath in annoyance of my shenanigans, allowed me to take a quick pic of your cuteness, and then silently judged me for days haha it's true:-D You really are the best little girl I could have ever asked for, and I miss you so much every day. I hope you're relaxing at Rainbow Bridge with Sophie Lynn and Thackary Binx in the warm sun rays and know how much you are loved. Mama loves you my sweet, good girl XOXO<3<3

10/22/18: Hello my sweet little angel. Mama is having surgery again tomorrow & will be thinking of you a lot. You always gave me such peace & sat with me patiently while I recovered somehow sensing I was not myself. I know you're watching over me from Rainbow Bridge. The picture I posted on the Monday night memorial is the cutest. You were cold & fell asleep on my face because I was warm:) I know you're catching the best sun rays in heaven with all your besties. I miss all the time we spent together so much, but am very happy I have so many happy memories with you my sweet girl. Thank you for being such a good girl! I'll see you at Rainbow Bridge someday soon enough Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

10/15/18: Hello my sweet angel! School has been very busy-at work and at home. I sure could use your calming little spirit right about now. You always had such a good way about making me forget everything else I thought was important & focus on you instead:) I miss your sweet smile so much. I imagine you at RB head bobbing and being a little social sweetheart like you were here on earth haha you're so cute. Please enjoy the warm sun rays, rest at Rainbow Bridge, and don't forget to flip your arms back at your sides-that is my favorite:) Wait for mama and know I love you very much my sweet girl XOXO<3<3

10/8/18: Hello my sweet little angel. I saw so many feathers this week & even caught one today as it floated by my head:) I still miss you so much & think of you every day. For some reason I can't stop thinking of all the things you got into as a young iguana. I was a inexperienced, first-time mom and you were a totally rambunctious little ig that got into everything. The time you got caught in the stockings & almost got thrown into the trash. Or the time I had to cut you out of the lining of the pillow-you were so tiny. How about the time you ate not one, but 2 pair of trouser socks?! I will never forget your near-death experiences when you ran into the middle of the street & then I chased after you and almost got hit by an SUV. Or the time you survived the fire by climbing into the sleeve of a jacket in the closet-you're so smart. Eventually I learned I needed to keep a really close eye on you. My favorite memories are you trying to do everything with me. You were so social with me. I don't know if it was just you, but I feel like all my memories of trying to clean the house, work out, watch a movie or do anything, you were always there trying to be a part of it too. I miss that. Thank you for letting me love you & be a crazy mom-you are the cutest thing ever-my precious little blessing! Mama loves you so very much. Nothing will ever replace the many years of amazing, adventurous and funny memories I have with you-my good girl XOXO<3<3

10/1/18: Hello my little angel. The weather changing to fall this week with so many birds coming & going & seeing the changing skies in the morning have all been so beautiful. I think of you every day as I'm crossing over the bridge-it's very peaceful especially when I see all the unexpected rainbows in the sky 😊 You are so very loved & missed each day my sweet girl XOXO<3<3

9/24/18: Hello my little angel! I miss you so much my sweet girl. Seeing the rainbow in the sky and birds flying by the bridge brings a smile to my face. That's where I feel your presence the most. I never get tired of looking at pics of your adorable face😊Please welcome Holly girl to Rainbow Bridge. She is your cousin kitty you met when you were very young and is missed by her mommy and family here. I'm sure you will keep her company until me & Aunt Courtney join you both. Bask in the sun my good girl and don't forget how much mama loves you & misses you Neina Sue:) XOXO<3<3

9/17/18: Hello my sweet angel. I saw a double rainbow & of course thought of you. They always remind me of you, especially that last one we saw together before you passed. You were my happy place. The one thing that no matter what was going on in my life just seeing you lifted my spirits & everything else disappeared-nothing else mattered. I still miss you & love you so much my good girl. I know I'll see you soon enough at Rainbow Bridge. Until then, please enjoy basking in the warm sun rays and know that mama loves you so much! XOXO<3<3

9/10/18: Hello my sweet little munchkin Neina Sue! I hope you're resting peacefully in the sun at Rainbow Bridge with your arms back at your side & know how you are loved & missed every day:) Mama will join you soon enough. I had a dream about Raja last night. I hope you 2 are buds & sharing the best basking branches my good girl. I love you so much XOXO <3<3

9/3/18: Hello my sweet girl! It was such a hot day today little Neina Sue. We saw a baby skink for the first time in the yard yesterday. It was so pretty and ran away quickly like you did when you were just a baby. Mama misses you so much! I miss everything about you but know you're still with me & watching over me every day:)You are such a blessing my sweet little angel. Thank you for being such a good girl & leaving us with so many happy memories. See you at Rainbow Bridge! Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

8/27/18: Hello my sweet little angel! I miss you so very much! It was really hot today, probably too hot even for you. I keep imagining that little face you made when it was too hot or when you would yawn-just the cutest thing ever. Gmatty adopted a new baby kitten, he is very adorable. Please tell Thack and Sophie to send their best wishes from RB for Mister and Bella to welcome the new kitten into the home. I hope you ladies are relaxing at RB and feel loved. Don't forget that mama loves you so much and will be joining you soon enough XOXO<3<3

8/20/18: Hello my sweet little angel. Mama was in Ocean City this weekend. I always think of you when I'm there and all the fun family trips we took together when you were younger. I know you enjoyed the nice summer sun rays & I enjoyed showing you off to everyone:) I hope you're relaxing in the sun at RB w/ Thack & Sophie thinking of mama. I love you & miss you so much my good girl XOXO<3<3

8/13/18: My little angel! Mama is so happy:)I saw a double rainbow & it made me smile so big thinking of you at Rainbow Bridge. I miss you so much & think about you all the time. I hope you're basking in the sun rays, warm in heaven, & know how much I love & appreciate you. I will be in Ocean City this week and will think of you and remember all of the many trips we took there together-so many hours of basking haha you were queen of the beach. You're such a good girl XOXO <3<3

8/6/18: Hello my sweet angel. Mama's birthday was this week. As I blew the candles out, I thought of you. If I had just one wish, it would be to see you again. I know we will be together soon enough at Rainbow Bridge my sweet girl. I hope you're relaxing & know how much you are loved & missed each and every day. You are such a good girl. Thank you for being my little earth angel and leaving me with so many happy memories:) Mama loves you so much XOXO <3<3

7/30/18:Hello my sweet little munchkin nugget! I miss you so very much-more than ever I think. Did you have a wonderful 15th birthday at Rainbow Bridge? I imagine you ate all your favorite foods & spent some quality time with Sophie and Thack-tanning & relaxing. Mr. Jon and I ate pizza in your honor;) Thank you for being my earth angel and bringing so much joy and happiness into my life:) You're such a good girl. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

7/23/18: HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY my sweet angel! What a perfect little girl you are:) Mama is missing you so much this week and sending extra special love, hugs & kisses to you at Rainbow Bridge for your birthday:-* I hope you're enjoying some pizza with Thack & Sophie (you loved pizza & tried to steal bites many times but I never let you LOL) Have some blueberries, bananas, strawberries and sweet potatoes too-your favorite! Mama will see join you soon enough Neina Sue. Until then, please know that you are loved and missed more than anything. You're such a good girl-my hero XOXO<3<3

7/16/18: Hello my sweet angel! Mama misses you so very much. I hope you're enjoying your time at Rainbow Bridge making new friends & relaxing in the warm sun rays w/ Sophie & Thack. You are so loved & bring so much happiness to me still every day. I saw so many feathers this week and I know you were with me-thank you for always looking out for your mom:) Mama loves you so much, Neina Sue. You're such a good girl! XOXO<3<3

7/9/18: Hello my sweet little angel! Mama misses you more than ever! I think about you every day! I hope you're relaxing at Rainbow Bridge in the warm sun rays & know how much you are loved. I can't wait until we are together forever. Mama loves you. Stay strong my sweet angel. You're a good girl:) XOXO<3<3

7/2/18: Hello my little munchkin! Mama misses you so much! I saw so many feathers this week, they always remind me of you:) I like to think it's a sign you show me that you're still watching over me. I hope you're enjoying your time at Rainbow Bridge, making friends and relaxing in the warm sun rays waiting patiently for mama. Don't forget how much you are loved and missed my sweet girl. Mama loves you. You're a good girl! XOXO<3<3

6/25/18: Hello my sweet angel! Yesterday was pap-pap's birthday. He is up in heaven too, and hopefully with you! We all remember him yelling "egads!" every time he saw you haha he didn't quite know how to handle your beautiful presence, but I know that pap would love and care for you because he loved me and you're my favorite little thing ever. I miss you so much & think of you often during the summer when I see the bunnies, birds and warm weather. I smile every time I pass the hosta we planted together-it's growing so big & tall. You would probably love (and eat) the hibiscus-we have 2 big plants now! Please relax at Rainbow Bridge my sweet girl and know mama loves you and thinks about you every day. I will be there soon enough to join you forever in heaven XOXO<3<3

6/18/18: Hello my sweet little angel! Mama misses you so much. This weekend was so beautiful outside-I know you would have loved it :) I hope you're relaxing at Rainbow Bridge in the sun with Thack and Sophie (your arms relaxed at your sides) knowing how much you are loved and missed every day. You're a good girl. Mama loves you so much XOXO <3<3

6/11/18: Neina Sue! Time sure is flying by my sweet girl! This week I'm sure you eagerly awaited as you welcomed your best friend and snuggle/tanning buddy Thackory Binx into Rainbow Bridge. We surely miss her here but feel comfort knowing you will have another familiar fur-baby to snuggle with & keep you company (and super warm too). You and her were such an odd, but perfectly precious, couple. Neither of you really craved close proximity with any other animals except with each other. I will never forget the day I came hope to see you both tanning under your UVB/UBA and sun lamps or when I found you both laying on the bed together:) those were good, happy days. I told her to tell you how much I love you and to keep you company until I get there. I can just imagine you, Sophie & Thack basking in the warm sun rays:) Please enjoy your time together as you wait for us. We will be there soon enough to join you all forever:) Mama loves you soooo much! XOXO<3<3

5/29/18: Hello my sweet little angel. Mama still misses you more than anything, but I know each day that passes is one day closer to being with you again:) We are opening the pool this week. I'm sure going to miss my little green tanning buddy again this year! Enjoy the sun at Rainbow Bridge my sweet girl. Relax with your arms back at your sides and know how much you are loved and appreciated every day. Mama loves you. You're a good girl XOXO<3<3

5/21/18: Hello my little angel! I miss you & think about you every day my sweet lil girl. It rained most of this week, but when the sun came out it was very hot-your favorite climate;>~ The hostas are growing larger than ever. They always make me smile & think of you. I hope you're relaxing (arms flipped back) & enjoying the warm sun rays at RB and know how much you are loved and appreciated. Mama loves you. You're a good girl XOXO <3<3

5/14/18: Hello my sweet little girl!! I missed you so much this week! I was outside enjoying the weather this weekend & working in the flower bed where we we planted together last year. I hope you're relaxing and enjoying the sun at RB. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

5/7/18:Hello my sweet Neina Sue! Mamas surgery went well. I was thinking of you a lot, sending extra love, cuddles & kisses to you on your 1 yr. I hope you're enjoying your time at RB:) Someone sent mama a very thoughtful message asking you to send me sign that you are watching over me...that same night I was sitting outside with Mr. Jon by the fire pit that you so carefully supervised us making last spring ;) Just around dusk we saw the cutest little bunny hop up and sit by us. It stuck around for a good long while, and made me smile so much thinking of you :) Thank you for being my sweet little earth angel. You're such a good girl! Things are not the same without you here, but I'm holding on to so many happy memories knowing you're watching over me & I'll see you soon enough. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

4/30/18: Hello my little angel! Mama has a surgery tomorrow. You always kept me company and helped me recover quickly so I'm sure I will be thinking and dreaming of you 😊 On Wednesday it will be 1 year since you passed, and I can't believe it! It seems like yesterday you were here in my arms, basking in your room. I miss you so much every day my sweet girl. I think about you all the time and remember all the happy memories we had for many years-so many memories. I know I'll see you again soon at Rainbow Bridge, but until then please know that I love you more than anything. You're such a good girl! XOXO<3<3

4/24/18: Hello my sweet little angel! I can't believe it's almost been a year since you left this earth for Rainbow Bridge. My love for you remains strong & I miss you more than ever my sweet girl. The weather was so pretty this weekend and I know you would have been out with me planting trees again. The flower garden we planted together last year is coming back-including the hosta you tried to eat;>~ I smile so big every time I see it. So many lovely, happy memories of you-thank you for being my little earth angel and keeping mama company for so many years. You are such a blessing. Mr. Jon picked out the picture this week of you for the Monday candle light ceremony. He laughed seeing how cute and tiny you were when you were just a baby Nenita and G-matty painted your finger and toe nails bright red. Mama loves you so much. You're such a good girl XOXO<3<3

4/16/18: Hello my sweet angel! I miss you so much<3 I had another lovely dream about you last night. You were so sweet & adorable. You were trying to get a good bathtub soak as you always did😊 You were happy and healthy just like I imagine you at Rainbow Bridge. It made me so happy to see you even if only in my dreams my sweet baby girl. You're such a good girl. Mama loves you so much!! XOXO<3<3

4/9/18: Hello my sweet girl! Mama was in Florida & saw a lot of iguanas roaming around freely in the humidity and basking in the warm sun-2 of your favorite things😊None of them were as sweet or adorable as you, but they were cute & made me smile thinking of you;-* I hope you're in heaven comfortably relaxing in the sun knowing how much you are loved & missed every day. I can't wait to see you again my little green nugget. Mama loves you. You're such a good girl XOXO<3<3

4/2/18: Neina Sue! Mama misses you so much my sweet lil angel😊 I keep finding adorable pics of you, they are like little gifts that brighten my day and make me smile thinking of all the wonderful, happy memories with you. It's starting to get warmer outside & I sure would love to bask in the warm sun with you. I wish we were together but know you're up in heaven waiting for mama at Rainbow Bridge. I'll see you soon enough my sweet girl and look forward to the day we are reunited forever. You're such a good girl. Mama loves you and misses you soooo much!! XOXO <3<3

3/26/18: Hello my sweet little angel! I miss you so much sweet pea! The little wild animals are starting to return & roam around outside. I remember you staring at them from your window-always so cautious:) I imagine you in heaven doing the same, basking in the warm sun rays with your arms back. I hope you know how much you are loved and missed every day. Mama loves you. You're a good girl XOXO<3<3

3/19/18: Hello my sweet angel. As I fell asleep last night, all I wanted was to dream of you, and I did. In my dream I was carrying you every where with me. And I was so happy because I had you with me. I had the greatest day today thinking about how great that felt:) I miss you so much. I know I carry you with me every day whether you're physically here or not. I love you and am missing you more than ever. Thank you for being such a blessing to me in my life. I hope you're enjoying the warm sun rays in heaven. Until I see you again...Mama loves you. You're a good girl! XOXO<3<3

3/12/18: Hi my sweet little Neina Sue! I miss you so much! The birds started coming around lately, & they always remind me of you with their inquisitive personalities. Like the birds, I imagine you "flying" free in heaven. I know you're healthy, safe & warm there😊 I can't wait to see you again. Mama loves you. You're a good girl XOXO<3<3

3/5/18: Hello my sweet little angel. Mama misses you SO much! It's been cold at the house this week-you would hate it;>~ I rest assured knowing you're warm & safe in heaven. I imagine you basking in the sun, with your arm flipped back to your side-very healthy & green:) I can't wait to see you
again my sweet little girl. I love you. You're such a good girl. Stay strong XOXO<3<3

2/26/18: Hello my sweet little angel! Mama misses you so much. I hope you're relaxing at Rainbow Bridge in the sun with your arms flipped back at your side, and know how much you are loved and missed every day. I can't wait to see you in heaven my sweet girl:) Thank you for so many years of happy memories. You're a good girl. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

2/19/18: Little angel! It's mama again. Time is flying by, but you're always on my mind and keeping me strong throughout each day. I miss u so much my sweet girl. You brought so much joy to our lives & I can't wait until I see ur precious little face again in heaven😊 Until that blessed day, rest and enjoy the warm sun rays. Mama will see you soon enough. You're a good girl.Mama loves u XOXO<3<3

2/12/18: Hello my lil pumpkin nugget! This week was so crazy! I could sure use ur calming spirit right about now😊 Remember when you stayed by my side so many late nights during my undergrad? I smiled so big every time I looked over and saw you sleeping so peacefully. I loved that. Now, as I write my grad papers, I can't help but wish you were here by my side. I sure miss your cute little face! Until we meet again, relax in the sun my sweet angel. You're a good girl. Mama loves you. XOXO<3<3

2/5/18: Hello my sweet little green angel. Mama misses you so much! I can't believe another week has gone by already. I had a lovely dream about you and it made me so happy. I was holding you and we were looking out over the water-so pretty. I hope you're relaxing in the sun with ur arms flipped back:) I can't wait until the day we are reunited forever:D Mama loves you so much. You're such a good girl XOXO<3<3

1/29/18: Hello my precious little angel! I can't believe another whole week has gone by. Mama has been sick with the flu, and missing you so much. The weather was warmer this week so I was able to see & hear the birds outside. It made me smile remembering all the mornings we watched & listened to the birds together😊Until we are reunited forever, please relax in the sun and know how much you are loved and missed my sweet girl. I love you. You're such a good girl XOXO<3<3

1/22/18: Hello my little angel! Mama sure missed you this week. We've been making lots of noise doing projects around the house-you would definitely not approve😊 I'd love more than anything to see that intense face of disapproval you made so often around loud noises and maybe a few head bobs so that I remembered that you were actually always in charge haha ;>~ I think about you more than ever & hope you always know how much we love you & miss you. Relax in the sun my sweet girl. Mama loves you so much. You're a good girl XOXO<3<3

1/15/18: Hello my sweet little angel. I missed you so much this week! I wish I could hug you forever<3 The weather is so cold and we used your heater to keep us warm:) What a blessing you are to us. We love u and are sending all our love to u every day. Relax in the sun my sweet girl. Mama loves you XOXO<3<3

1/8/18: Hello my sweet angel! I miss your precious little face so much! Mama started her 2nd class for grad school this week. I keep your picture in front of my monitor for motivation😊 Mr. Jon repurposed the wood from your climbing perch to make mama a desk for school. Sitting in your "iguana green" painted room at this desk and looking out the same window you did every day makes me feel so connected to you. I'm still so proud of you for fighting cancer every day. You're such a brave little girl and you'll always be my hero! Until I can see you again, please enjoy relaxing in the sun at Rainbow Bridge, mama will be along in good time with lots of kisses and everlasting hugs for you. You're a good girl. I love you sweet pea xoxo<3<3

1/1/18: Happy New Year my sweet little angel! Mama missed you a lot this week. Starting a new year without you is not as special or exciting, but I am still enjoying all the pictures I have of you and cherish the memories. Enjoy resting in the sun at RB my sweet angel😊I love you. You're such a good girl XOXO<3<3

12/25/17: Merry Christmas my sweet little angel puff! Mama missed you more than ever today. Christmas wasn't the same without you, but I am very happy you're at peace. Mama is sending all her love to you today and wrapping my arms around you in an everlasting hug😊 Relax in the sun my sweet baby girl. Mama loves you. You're a good girl. We all miss you sweet pea. You're my best little girl friend xoxo<3<3

12/18/17: Hello my sweet little angel. Mama missed you this week! Christmas is around the corner & it doesn't feel the same without you but I'm happy you're at peace and not in pain. I still decorated your room & door with your stocking, mini fire place and wreath...now all I need is you in your little Santa costume😊 Mama is sending extra special love to you at Rainbow Bridge. You were the best little gift I ever had-what a precious blessing?! You're a good girl. Mama loves you<3<3

12/11/17: Hello my sweet angel. I missed you this week! I finally downloaded pics from all my old cell phones & now am enjoying thousands of pics I took of you. I could never have enough memories of your sweet face😊 I hope you're relaxing in the sun & know how much you are loved. You're a good girl. Mama loves you.<3<3<3

12/4/17: Hello my sweet little angel! Mama has been busy with school, but I keep your picture in front of my monitor so I can see your adorable face staring back at me:)I miss you more than words could ever say, but am happy you're at peace in a wonderful place. You're a good girl. Mama loves you.Stay strong<3<3

11/27/17: Hello my sweet little angel. Mama sure missed you a lot this week! Thanksgiving wasn't the same without you but don't worry, I ate enough sweet potatoes for both of us 😊 I hope you're enjoying your time at Rainbow Bridge & basking in the warm sun rays. I am always thinking about you and smiling remembering your sweet face until I can see you again. Mama loves you. You're a good girl <3<3

11/20/17: Hello my precious little angel. Mama missed you this week! It was G-Matty's birthday on Saturday. We both talk about you a lot & miss you so much<3 I hope you & Sophie Lynn are relaxing together in the sun & waiting for us to join you at Rainbow Bridge😊 xoxo Mama loves you! You're a good girl <3<3

11/13/17: Hello my sweet little green angel! Your blankets still smell like you. I don't even know how that's possible, but I love it. Yesterday I was outside in the back yard & kept looking up at your window expecting to see you staring back & watching my every move 😊 it still makes me smile. I sure missed you a lot this week & hope you're relaxing at Rainbow Bridge in the sun & waiting for mama. You're a good girl. Mama loves you <3<3

11/6/17: Hello my sweet little angel! It's Monday again, and it's time to send you some extra love <3 I missed you a lot this week. Mama's been busy with work & school, but I'm always thinking of you & smiling, just remembering all the wonderful times we had & joy you brought into our lives. I hope you received the sweet message G-Matty sent to you. We all miss seeing you in your adorable Halloween costumes (My little green Wonder Woman) :>~ You're such a good girl! Rest peacefully and relax in the sun until I see you again. XOXO Mama loves you<3<3

10/30/17: Hello my sweet angel! I sure missed you a lot this week! I went through some old pics from when you were a tiny ig-baby. They made me smile, especially the ones of you in the newspaper on the front page-you were always such a ham for the camera:>~ I just posted some pics of you dressed up for Halloween. I know you didn't like wearing all the costumes, but thank you for humoring me. You were my favorite Halloween witch, pumpkin, bumblebee and Wonder Woman :-D You are loved and missed a lot. Thank you for leaving us with so many great memories to keep us smiling. Enjoy basking in the sun my good little girl, mama loves you always<3<3

10/23/17: Hello my sweet little green angel:) I sure missed you again this week! I can't believe it's been over 5 months since you passed & entered Rainbow Bridge. I hope you're enjoying the sun & feeling comforted knowing how much you are loved. Thank you for bringing so much joy & peace into our lives. I'm always thinking of you xoxo Mama loves you <3<3

10/16/17: I have really enjoyed posting to the Monday night candle ceremony each week, but wanted to post some messages to you here as well. This week sure has been busy! I'm getting settled into your room now that I started grad school. We painted it iguana green, so I'm sure you'd be pleased with it :>~ My desk is set up right in front of the window so I can enjoy the same views you did while I'm working. I have definitely felt your presence a lot this week, and it always warms my heart. I love seeing little things everywhere that remind me of you-they give me so much peace and comfort. I had the most lovely dream a few nights ago. You were in your room, alive like nothing happened. It brought indescribable joy to see you in good health, it's exactly how I imagine you at Rainbow Bridge-basking in the beautiful sun rays, getting a little green tan, throwing your arms back to your sides for comfort, and then flicking your tongue a few times to show you're happy, confident and curious. Thank you for being such a good little angel to me while you were on earth, and continuing to be with me in spirit each day. I love you and miss you more than words could ever describe. I'm eagerly awaiting the day we can be reunited at Rainbow Bridge-never to be separated again. In the meantime, mama has a lot of work to do, and I want you to be happy and relax in the sun my sweet princess :) Mama loves you <3<3

10/9/17: Hello my little angel puff. I sure did miss u this week! I went to Ocean City & it reminded me of when we used to go to get away, relax on the beach, & catch some sun. I found a feather in my hair & knew you were there in spirit this time. You're a good girl. Stay strong sweet pea. Mama loves you<3<3