I adopted you and your brother in 2008. I think you were maybe 2 at the time. I had to beg my parents (your grandparents turned parents) to bring you home. I fell in love the first time I pet sat for you and Oliver. I took a nap and you both climes on top of me and took a nap with. When purchased my condo, grandma said no way was I taking you with. You lived a happy life with your brother, going outside to hunt mice and bring them home. Or to just bask in the sunshine in the grass. Your brother was taken away too soon in 2016, but you did so well. We noticed in 2020 you losing weight. You had a thyroid issue. Your grandma and I took you to vets for blood work and started you on medicine. You did so well. But lately you had been giving signs we did not understand. I think in some way you knew. Your grandparents went on vacation and I got to spend your last days with you. You cuddled and purred so loudly. Had I known, I would have recorded your purr. I will never forget finding you that Tuesday morning. There were signs that morning. I know this now. When I found you on the ground I knew you had gone. I picked you up and held you as the your last breath came out. I rocked you and cried on your fur. And then I looked up and saw a red cardinal in the grass outside. I thought that was you telling me you were ok. I will always think that. You were so loved and spoiled too. You ate shrimp everyday and just were so loved. For me it's so bittersweet that you were alone when you passed. I was in the house but had no idea. You slept with me the night before and then the morning you passed I saw you take a walk through the upstairs and sit at the stairs looking towards the bedroom. I don't know if you were missing your grandparents or sending me a sign. I found you about an hour or so later. I wrapped you in a blanket and decided to keep you home. Your grandparents were coming home that night and I wanted for them to be able to see you and say goodbye. The house will feel so empty without you. Right now I feel guilt that maybe I could have done something for you had I pieced together the signs. I know you are better now and no more pain. I imagine you and Oliver grooming each other while laying in the grass in the sun. Your cousins I imagine are with you. Shakes, Hampton and Rocky. I feel you are a gang of happy kitties and pups just frolicking and loving each other. Baby boy, you took a piece of my heart along with you. Right this moment I feel like that piece of my heart will never heal. But know that your cousin Molly, as much as she was a little diva and acting the way she did to you at time, she is grieving too. I don't know if she was with you when you passed but know she is grieving and is also helping me grieve as well. She is showing so much affection which is not like her. Your grandpa will miss you waking him up at 3am and also giving you your daily treat of shrimp. I know he is sad. Your grandma. I feel in some way you decided to leave this earth before she came home to make it easier on her. You would follow her around the house and keep her company outside. And on cold winter days warm her by sleeping beside her or curled up on her chest. I feel you decided to make this a bit easier for her in that she did not have to make that excruciating decision to end any suffering. I know she is hurting, but as your last act of love, decided to shield her from some of that pain. I want you to know that you will always be loved and remembered. Baby boy you have your wings. Watch over grandma and grandpa. You were such a good boy and so mellow all the time and just so loved. Wait for us all and we will see each other again one day. |
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