Walking Peanut... walking him was like trying to walk a tractor, we went where he wanted to go. His beagle nose who lead every walk towards important smells, and we learned to go with it. The kids next door loved Butters and Peanut, and often, we would be walking and random kids would shout out Peanut! And he would happily come over for a good lick. He barked the bark, but he was part beagle and part chicken. One time, a dog ran over to us during our walk, and Peanut hid behind me. He loved walks so much! I have a pair of shoes that I wore often to walks, and if I touched that pair, Peanut was at the door and ready to go! He walked and pulled so much, though, that he torn his ACL and needed surgery. Peanut was no stranger to surgery. He had his annal glands removed (that was a hard recovery on everyone, but also a new life for all the furniture), and he was prone to fatty growths that had to be periodically removed. He was a great patient and was loved by the vet, but if they had to get a blood sample, all nurses would show up to keep Peanut under control!

Peanut running away... he was a little runaway artist! He would Houdini his way out of his harness and take off. I learned he was good for a strong sprint for a quarter of a mile, but after that, he would either get tired or his nose would stop him. One time, I had him in the car to go to the groomers, and he jumped out the window! I left Butters in a running car by herself (with my purse) and took off after him (wearing platform shoes). I caught him, I caught him every time, but it made me paranoid to "where's Peanut?" Three times at the groomers, he had seizures - no one ever knew why, but the vet said to just bathe him home, so we did! And once, after a bath, I was trying to brush him, got my hand caught on his collar, he jumped, and my shoulder got separated. It was my turn for surgery.

Peanut the thieve and disgusting eater... he loved stealing things because that meant a chase. He would steal all cleaning rags he could get his mouth around and run to the very back of the yard, wagging his tail and waiting for the chase. If no chase came, he would make sure to come show us whatever it was he had to remind he was not supposed to have it. One time, a friend gave me a box of chocolates with peanut butter on the inside, and I put it high on my dresser. My boyfriend (who became my husband) just heard me scream "Peanut, I am going to kill you and then I am going to murder you!" because he had somehow gotten the box, unwrapped it and eaten every one of the chocolates - and not even a belly ache! He once stole and ate most of a frozen pizza, and during a family Christmas party, he stole a block of pepperjack cheese. That was the funniest since he had the entire block inside his mouth and ran; then, the pepper part must have gotten a bit too spicy and he puked the entire thing back out in front of us with a face that said "it is yucky, you can have it!" He also ate a lot of roadkill and a glove once...

Sleeping with Peanut... I miss sleeping with Peanut so much. When I was single, Peanut and Butters would always start at the foot of the bed, but somehow, specially when it was cold, I would wake up spooning him. His head would be on my pillow and often over my arm. He loved sleeping in, and whenever I was sick and in bed all day, I could count on Peanut to spoon with me. Once it was no longer just the dogs and I on bed, he would "donut up" behind my knees and sleep there. Always with full contact. Sleep has been so empty.

The day he left us... Two weeks before he died, he took his oral flea/tick/heartworm medication and had a bad reaction - he became fully lethargic and did not want to even stand. Now, he had slowed down a lot, but of course, we never noticed before. I took him to the vet the next morning, and their ultrasound showed masses which were likely cancer in several organs including the lungs. The vet referred us to an internal vet for further analysis and thought he would have another 6 months to live. When we saw the internal vet, she said he would not have long and that because of the size of the cancers, not even surgery would cure my boy. I thank God now that I got the extra time with him knowing he was going to leave us. For a week, I bought all foods he liked, I fed him from a spoon, I gave him waffles and whatever he wanted. On a Monday afternoon, I got the call from my husband to come home. We took him to the emergency vet, and she said she thought it was not his time yet. But, later that day, she called that his time had come, that my baby did not have long to go. I spent maybe one hour with his head on my hand petting him, but his eyes told me it was time, that he was suffering, and that I had to let him go. Pushing the button was the hardest thing I have ever done, but my boy died with his head on my hands and with me petting him.

I miss Peanut so much! So many times, I come home waiting for to see him. When I go for a run, I miss him licking my sweaty legs (because a runner's legs were salt licks to him), I miss sleeping with him, I miss having to worry about food being within Peanut reach, I miss how he would never sit with me but sit ON me, I miss hugging him. He was my IT dog! He knew my every mood. More times than I could ever count, I cried hugging him, petting his fur. Peanut licked my tears every time. I miss him so much! I need to hug him and be licked by him to help me get over his death... and that is why living without him has been so difficult. I love you so much, my Peanut!