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12Dec 2022. Still grieving, still very torn up over having to provide him the kindness of a soft goodbye. He was in poor health for awhile with bad kidneys. Losing weight slowly but never losing spirit and his unconditional affection for me. His favorite place to sit was always with me. For 18 year this relationship and bond was one of the strongest supports in my life. He patiently waited for me during my deployments overseas, one as long as 18 months. Later in his life he went deaf and learned vocalize himself. Everyday I would hear Rocky yelling at me over a water dish not being full, begging for treats, breakfast or going outside. Many times his meows ruined a good night sleep or a TV show. What I would give for just one more meow. He turned out to be the best emotional support I could ever hope full while dealing with my PTSD and suicidal depression. Rocky was always there to hold on to and to be with. The house is quieter with his departure and I am hollow inside with this part of me that is gone. I'm not sure if it is a void that would every be filled. I don't remember ever hurting so much. The grief process sucks, I'm still a heartbeat away from ugly crying. We got Rocky when he was very young and let him sleep in the bed with us from the very start. He had two older sister cats Squeaky and Safari who he bonded with. Later after they passed, Rocky was visibly depressed until we brought two young cats into the house, Gatsby and Daisy. This regenerated him and brought youth back to his demeanor which he carried for the rest of his life. Of all those cats, he was the only one who claimed me as his. 17Dec2023 |
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