1/12/2013
Well, Sweet Rosie, my dearest friend. Oh how I miss you. Your bed, brand new at Christmas, still sits beside mine, your bowl, empty now of food, still has it's place in the kitchen where you liked it. Your leish still hangs in the hall closet waiting for the walk I can't take with you. I know you loved me even more for helping you cross the bridge, for being there with Colleen as you took this journey. I know you are healthy in Rainbow Bridge, the cancer can't rob your appetite, your vitality any more, your coat, deep and black, shines again in health. I know Barney was there barking you in, announcing your arrival and getting Bridget and Candy and Cookie - all our fur babies to give you a lick and welcome you to your forever home. Colleen can't come to Rainbow Bridge yet, her teenage heart is too heavy with your loss, but she will come in time and leave you her words of love. The love you gave us has made us better people, richer and deeper because you gave so unconditionally and so generously. We miss you, as much as I want you back, to the depths of my soul, I wouldn't want you to endure the suffering again - and so I must leave you at Rainbow Bridge, but my love for you will never die, love is eternal. Mr. Trevor barked his hello this morning, but of course, he didn't get a reply from his neighbor our sweet Rosie. May be you were off in Rainbow land playing with Cookie or Bridget. We miss you my sweet. Colleen sobbed last night as we walked out of the vets office, and my face was equally wet with tears. Be well and happy dear Rosie, and I promise you that we will find a pet, not your equal to be sure, but another pet to love again some day. She will be your sister on this side of Rainbow Bridge and it is largely because of the love you showered on us so freely, that we are capable of loving yet another and passing your legacy on. Be safe, run and play like the wind, catch my whispered prayers between bouts of play and send a whispered word back now and again. I so love you.

1/13/2013
Good Morning my Rosie love. Last night Colleen and I talked about you a little, I think she is beginning to open up a little and let her feelings out. She's angry that we had to let you go, because the cancer made you so sick and because it all happened so fast we both have had a hard time trying to understand. I know you loved us and you didn't want our family to loose your sweet face, soft fur and wagging tail, your gentle soul in our lives. You are still so present to us in so many ways and I want that to be the way stays. We reach for you at odd times. Last night I checked your water bowl, forgetting for a second, you have plenty of water at the meadow at Rainbow Bridge. Coming back from errands yesterday, I still guarded the front door - knowing your escape artist heart, to make sure you wouldn't get out before I realized, you are safe in heaven. It made me tear up again, knowing you aren't here waiting for us when we get home. The house is empty without you - we both look for you 'where's Rose?' feeling fleeting through our hearts. Even the parakeets (Sierra and Bluebell) know that something is amiss, I'm sure they wonder where you've gone and why you aren't hanging out on the sun porch now and then-they were never your rivals, sweet Rosie, just chippy birds that add birdy nature to our home. I love you forever, but I do like listening to the birds chirp, especially in the morning when they greet the sun, but you are our Rosie love, never could the birds take your place in our hearts, for you stole our hearts years ago and we willingly gave them to you.
The people caretakers of their pets here at Rainbow bridge have opened their hearts to us, promising their beloved pets have greeted you with love, offering us words of comfort for your loss - I'm grateful, even though the process of losing your physical presence, your daily routine of begging to go outside before the sun came up, coming over to the couch in the evening for your nightly back rub, curling in your bed each night as I got myself ready for bed, barking at that infernal squirrel in our avocado tree, woofing to Trevor each morning as if to say 'Hey, Trev! I'm up are you?" Bussing me with your nose as I work at the desk - reminding me 'Hey, what about our walk -did you forget?' Waiting, panting at the gate when you heard Colleen's voice as she came home from school, with that lovely tail wagging furiously because you knew your best friend was coming home - the slurppy noise you made as you emptied your water bowl, so many little daily things that we miss, and these are just a few. You made it clear, you didn't like going out the back door to the yard, you wanted to go out the office door or through the sun porch. Laying directly in front of the heating register where we had to step over you as we came down the hall - funny, quirky little things. Having to retrieve you from the back yard into the house after you chased the cat out of your yard (you know that grey and white feral cat - the one that chewed through the van's power steering line a few months back). Hearing your tail whomp (or was it your noggin?) the plumbing when you managed to get the screen off the crawl space (or did the cat do that?) to go under the house. What was so fun being under there in the dark? Watching you sniff the cabinet where your treats are - "hey - it's treat time mom!" Checking for you endlessly, Colleen's room, my room, the guest bedroom - checking the office - then the couch on the sun porch, you always found a quiet place when you were ready for a nap. Seeing you wait patiently by my bathroom door when I came out of the shower, all these things and so many more we miss now - regular every day - or almost everyday things. Watching you look out the office door while I work at my desk - making sure that Mr. Sung knew you were keeping an eye on him when he came to mow the lawn, sniffing outside for an hour after he left each time - or did you just love the scent of freshly cut grass as I do? When summer comes, I know we will miss you dashing through the sprinklers, chasing the water and trying to catch it like a ball, in your mouth. You were so funny when you tried to 'catch' the water - the frustrated look on your face -'why won't it stay still so I can catch it!' All the quirky things that you used to do (trying to crawl under my new bed when it came! Gently pulling the quilt off the couch with your front teeth so you'd have a blanket to lay on in the living room! Ignoring your bed when I brought it out from the bedroom for you and going right for the quilt! 'Hey mom! It's not bedtime yet - I just like this quilt!' -maybe because it was full of my scent because I made it years ago, and Colleen's because she liked to snuggle under it? So many little daily reminders everyday that we miss now. I know you are happier in heaven, because you are healthy there and have furry friends to play with all day.

1/14/2013
Good Morning, my dear Rosebud. How are things going in Rainbow Bridge? I know you are happy there because heaven is that perfect place of perfect happiness. I know you look down the slope of that beautiful rainbow and you can see Colleen and me, I felt you last night wishing us to feel better about your leaving. It was almost like you were telling me, 'mom, I'm still here with you, but you just can't see me or touch me or scratch my back, but I'm still here with you.' and I know you are, you always were. This is the first day Colleen will have to go off to school without saying goodbye to you and giving you her hug. I know she will miss the loss of that hug, that smile she gave you as she bounded out the door and your tail wagging as if to say - "I'll be waiting at the gate or the front door when you come home!" Dr. Kim called me yesterday, she knows we miss you and I was so appreciative of her call, but she had something to tell me. One of her other canine patients had a litter of puppies several weeks ago - little terrier mix puppies. I guess the puppies were coming in last week for a well-check as we were leaving and their human mommy saw us crying as we left you - she wants us to take a little girl puppy to help mend our broken hearts over losing you. The little girl puppy's name is Molly. We went yesterday afternoon to meet the mom and Molly and she is so sweet and cute and 'puppy-ish', pouncing on a treat, chasing her tail. Her brothers and sister are cute too, but this little puppy has your style, full of fun. She could never take your place, but as Colleen and I talked about it a little, we wept. If we could have you back, healthy and full of life, we'd never consider this, but since we can't have you, we said yes, we want Molly. I think that's why I felt your presence so strongly last night while Colleen was at church with the youth group, it was you again, that helped us make a connection we would never have made otherwise. I hope we have your blessing. We want to love without the pain of a broken heart. I asked Colleen if she thought we were jumping in too soon, and she said "Mom, Rosie would want us to go on and give our love to another" wise beyond her years, our Colleen. So, today after school, Colleen and I will drive up again and retrieve little Molly. She won't be you, barking at my office door to come in, sniffing at the treat door, stretching your long, sleek body across the step into my office, busing me a reminder to stroke your ears or scratch your long sleek back, curling up in that tight ball at night, she could never be you. We want you, but since we can't have you, we will take little Molly, make her a member of our forever family, like we did when you were a puppy. I feel sad to do this, but grateful to have another fur baby to love. Molly's sister and brothers are all leaving today, between 3 and 6, as their new family members come to retrieve their little fur babies. I knew we would find another pet 'some day', but never thought it would be this soon. You know I will love you forever, the heart is capable of so much love, as we grow to love Molly, so will our hearts, and it will never steal away the love we have for you.
I designed a special quilt for our hallway, you know my passion for quilting! It's rose and blue and in the center square is a place for your picture. I've printed my favorite picture of you on fabric, and will be starting the quilt tomorrow. The alternating squares are made with applique hearts in rose colored fabric and, because your collar had blue hearts, the background is blue fabric with fluffy white clouds. It's a memory quilt in honor of our loyal, loving Lab, Rosie. You are so loved and so missed - my heart breaks each moment.

1/15/2013
Good Morning my sweet love. Know that you are still missed so, our hearts break with loss because we love you so. I came back from my walk this morning - heard a bark and thought how much it sounded like you- it was Trevor saying, "I hear you, but where's my buddy Rosie?" He knows how you trotted ahead of me 3 or 4 paces, anxious to get to the next tree, the next smell! I think he might've been just a little jealous because we always took our walks in the morning and he had to wait for his walk til afternoon when his big buddy brother came home from school. Anne and Austin miss hearing your woof-woof at the gate, I talked to Anne on Sunday, she and Austin are so sad we lost you. Auntie Bee signed your guest book and so have many other friends we haven't met in person, including a sweet lady from Israel! So touched by the love shown here, I know you can't be anything but happy, healthy, no arthritis in your spine anymore and cancer free. While on my walk, I stopped at McDonalds for my Egg McMuffin, I thought of you again, I always shared a part of the muffin part with you my love. I'm sure you are having all kinds of treats at Rainbow bridge, things I'd never give you before because they weren't good for dogs in our world. Enjoy it my love and relish your freedom - it is eternal now for you and some day, we will see you, ruffle those darling ears again and scratch your long sleek back.
We did pick up Molly last night, she was very sleepy from her surgery (spayed yesterday). She didn't want to eat or drink, so I just let her sleep on Colleens lap until bed time. Then she had to come into the bedroom with me so I could monitor the potty calls. Colleen still loves you dearly, is very happy I'm making a memorial quilt for you to display in our home. Molly is sweet, very timid, unlike you who was always so full of boundless energy, but she may still be getting used to us, recovering from her surgery and I'm sure wonders where you are, I'm sure she can smell your scent in the house, the yard and on us! She has investigated most of the house with her nose, had one minor accident in the house (she is still a puppy and not sure of what to do yet), found her food bowl this morning and gobbled it up, then took a little drink of water and toddled after me to the bedroom while I got dressed. She's very quiet, I haven't heard a bark of any kind and I'm pretty sure when she does bark, she will be as shocked as you were as a pup at your first bark! I remember it so well! You charged your own image in the mirror in Colleen's bedroom and 'woofed' - then backed up 5 feet and had this 'what was that?' look on your face! It was so darn cute, Colleen and I laughed and laughed! She's sleeping in one of your favorite places in the office right now beside my desk in front of the file cabinet. Puppies do sleep a lot! Being a terrier, she may be just a little more reserved than our lovable lab, Rosie, always such a little clown! We miss you every day, I miss you stuffing your long back under my legs and moving back and forth to get a back rub in the evenings. It took me a while, but I finally understood why you liked this better than me scratching your back with my hands, you knew where the 'itch' was! Smart Rosie, always. I really missed hooking you up to the leash this morning, the first morning I've taken a walk since you left. The puppy stayed home, hasn't learned her leash manners yet, so I had to walk alone, without you. The Black birds you chased from our yard last time are back again, and I really don't think they'd be too intimidated by this little pup Molly, at least not yet, they are almost her same size! I guess Colleen and I are doing a little better, we will never stop missing you, but we aren't crying as much, though tears I do shed when Colleen isn't paying attention or is off at school. You are the lab I always wanted, and now, are gone. Your personality fit me to a T, your gorgeous coat and sweet disposition just wrapped my heart in love.
My heart wants you back, my mind knows it can't be so. I talk to you almost all the time, telling you what I'm doing at the desk, how soon I'll be done with the dishes, when it's time to clean the birds cage, what we are having for dinner, I checked your water bowl at least 10 times yesterday without thinking, then realized again, dripped a few more tears. The feral cats are free to wander in the backyard, regardless of how I feel about that, because you aren't here to shoo them away.cause our hearts will always be with you. Bye for now my love, have fun with all you new and old fur buddies, you are forever in our hearts.

1/16/2013
Well, my sweet, you are so missed and loved. We still look for you, I see your empty bed by mine and my heart still aches for your loss. I know you are happier at Rainbow Bridge because you can see us daily from the slope of that beautiful rainbow and you are out of pain and healthy again, the arthritis doesn't bother your back anymore and your lovely legs can run with the wind as you loved to do! We are happy that you are free from the cancer, feeling spry as a puppy again, playing with your Rainbow friends with Candy, Bridget, Barney, Cookie and miss Vicki and all the fur babies whose mom's and dad's have written in your guest book and sent us messages of condolence and care. It means so much that others share our love for you and their own babies they loved so much. When you were here, before that sad day, the Christmas tree still shined with lovely radiant beauty, all our focus was on you and what you were going through. All the decorations still glimmered, the Snow Village still cast it's lovely glow in our living room. I've taken down all the decorations, put them away for next Christmas, made a special ornament for your memory in our hearts, a cute little doggy bone with a pink heart and your name engraved on it. It will hang on our tree every year with Candy's, Bridget's, Barney's and Cookies. We had one once before, a cute little house with your puppy picture in it, but you chewed it up one year when I wasn't paying attention and I never got around to replacing it. The Snow Village is boxed up for another year, the ornaments from the Christmas tree, wrapped and boxed for next Christmas and our last, yesterday we finally took the tree to the curb for the trash to take away. It seemed the longer I held on to the holiday season, the closer I was to you, but we had to take care of it. Our home is back to it's pre-Christmas order, looking bare as it always does, but even starker now with missing you. I loved you then, I still do, and I always will. You are the friend that no human being could be, you are the love, with your gentle nudge, your sweet, cold nose, that no one could ever fill. We love you now and always, we will carry on without you, hard as it is, because you would want us to love again, engage in life, and remember our loving memories forever. Be well, sweet Rosie, be happy in your forever home, run and play, splash in the meadow stream. I love you, forever.

1/18/2013
Oh Sweet Rosie, it is one full week today since we had to part and say good bye. It has been a week of sorrow, loss, pain and heartbreak as well as peace and joy. I look at your bed, the new one I bought you for Christmas, and remember the first night you curled up as though it had been there forever! You knew it was your bed! You looked so cozy and warm curled up on it and I knew I had made the right choice for you! I still look for you by the window of my office, across the step of the door, your favorite haunts while I worked on the computer, but of course, my sweet Rosebud, you are in Rainbow Bridge. I think Colleen and I are doing better, sad of course that you are not here with us, but beginning to accept that you are happy where you are, healthy again and making new friends every day. I miss the back rubs you nudged me for, I miss everything about you, your long swishy tail, soft sweet smelling ears - your lovely face gazing up at me with trust and total love. This has been a journey of love and pain, joy and loss, the 9 1/2 happy years you shared with us - and now, your forever home of joy, peace, fun and health.
Little Molly is progressing with her potty training, not without accident, but she is still quite small, just 4 months old. She is bouncy as a puppy, playful, but a little on the reserved side I think. She is much quieter at this age than you were, that's for sure! You were always popping up to see me, pawing me for attention - so sweet the memories! Little Molly curls up by my feet (she doesn't like sleeping on the couch like you did!) lays her little head on my feet and goes to sleep. She did find her bark, she barked at the parakeets yesterday, seemed a little surprised, but barked again when Colleen came home from school, as if to say "Hi, welcome back!" She seems a bit daunted by our big back yard, but ran around a little yesterday and seemed to have some fun.
She is your earthbound sister who never got the chance to meet you, but I know you will send your love to her and your whispered words of doggy wisdom to encourage her. She can't fill your paws in our hearts, but can create a new dimension of love for us.
Well, my sweet Rosie, we miss you, we love you so much and want you to be happy at Rainbow Bridge. I know heaven must be beautiful, looking down that slope of the lovely rainbow you see each day, remember to send a whispered prayer back for Colleen and me, we still miss you and love you, need your furry warmth to snuggle and hug. I love you forever and ever my sweet Rosebud. Be well, my sweet, we love you always and forever.

1/19/2013
Good morning my Rosie! You are never far from our hearts, thoughts and prayers, always present in my mind and heart. I know you are giving our little Molly some helpful advice, she is progressing well with her house manners and I know you love her from Rainbow Bridge. I am off in a few hours to teach my class, my kids miss you too, and the stories I would share with them about you and Colleen and your antics. I have to do some final preparations for my class today, so this will be a shorter love note to you, my dearest Rosebud. Colleen and I are both getting over colds, stuffy noses and all, and she is still a little grouchy, teenager's don't handle this well, it curtails their activities too much. My kids and I talked a little about you this week, the funny stuff you would do, trying to bolt for the door when I went to check the mail, eager for a run with out the limits of the leash. Quirky Rosie tales I call them. Crawling under the house to chase the squirrel or the cat - whomever was invading our yard at the time. bong, goes the noggin, whomp goes the tail against the pipes under the house. I still can't find the right mesh screen that will keep the cats out of there, but I'm still looking! The kids laugh and it makes your loss seem that much more poignant, but a little easier to bear, they love hearing about you. Now that you have a huge meadow to run in, you never have to be tied down by leash again, my Rosie, but can run free as the wind as you loved to do. No constraints, no worries about cars and traffic and other hazards, you are safe, protected and free to be the graceful runner God made you to be. Even with our huge backyard, you still loved to run and sniff the surrounding neighborhood. Well, my sweet angel, I must move on to finish my preparations for my class, I will add today, the funny story about you crawling under my old bed and then trying to pull the same maneuver when the new one came. You liked it under there, dust bunnies and all! I love you, dear Rosie, still miss you so much my heart aches. Be free, run free, chase Barney, coddle little Bridget for me, she was such a little princess, and tossle Candy's fluff. You and Cookie should be best friends, she loved to run almost as much as you did, but with shorter legs! My heart is still with you every second. The fabric will come on Monday and I will start your memory quilt for our hallway. I know my heart will break when I add your pictures to the center star, but you are worth it all. I love you forever and always my girl. No one but Colleen and me ever knew that your full name was Duchess Rose because we always called you Rosie. Be well my Duchess, my Rosie, you are precious to us always.

1/20/2013
Good Morning my love, dear Rosie. I know you are running as free as the wind up and across the lovely meadow! I can imagine you in my mind and heart seeing your long swishy tail flying behind you and that lovely, graceful as a deer, lope as you find the smells that make you so happy.
We went to visit Grammie last night, Colleen stayed overnight at Shiba's and I took Molly over to Grammie's to meet and play with Grammie's pup, Bambi. They played and played and frolicked and played and had a wonderful time. When we left, little Molly was afraid of the car ride and whimpered and cried, but she got through it like a champ. I know you never liked the car rides either, but endured because we were all together. I pampered you a little too much and didn't take you on as many car rides as I should have to help you gradually ease through the anxiety. It limited the times we could spend together when going to Grammie's, or taking Colleen here and there. I've resolved not to do this with Molly, because she needs the security of knowing that the car ride can be anxiety free and eventually be fun for both of us. Everyone makes mistakes in raising their puppy pals, and I'm no exception. You were always our pampered darling girl, even though you may not have thought so from time to time when I had to barricade you in the service porch (as a puppy - for obvious reasons!), or leave you to go to work when you wanted me to stay home and play.
Colleen still grieves hard for you my sweet, her pain is inconsolable at times. I try to help her, but teenagers don't respond well to this, she asks me to leave her be, she's stuck in the anger phase of grief right now. She needs time to work through her grief and loss to come to acceptance, neither of us are their yet, I think because it all happened so fast - we had no time to fortify ourselves and try to prepare for it. She said she knew you would live forever and wanted you to go with her to college in three years and be her companion there. It's hard enough for mature adults to grasp, so I understand her loss, pain and confusion. Whisper your faithful words of empathy to her, you always were the pup to kiss her tears when she was angry with me and wouldn't let me.We both love you forever, miss you every minute of every day, I find comfort in the knowledge you are safe in God's loving arms, playing and running free at the Meadow. Keep our love to warm you darling Rosie.

1/26/2013
Hi my darling Rosie. It's been a few days since I've been here to visit you, I'm sorry. Coming here was keeping me from the healing process, reliving your last few days, keeping me sad and lost. I had to distance myself from Rainbow Bridge for a few days to garner myself, gain a better perspective and be a better mom to Colleen. She was upset that I was crying all the time, felt ignored and unappreciated. She was right! I was drowning in my loss of you, no matter how much you loved me and I you, that wasn't healthy for me - or the best remembrance and celebration of the loving lab you were/are. We still miss you, we will always miss the sweet soul that was in our lives. We still feel you are missing somehow, but I know you are in my heart, my mind, forever. Colleen still wants it undone, wants you well and healthy and HERE. I understand too well how she feels. Even though I have to will myself not to visit everyday, I will be visiting once a week from now on, to adequately give both Colleen and me space. Since you are always in my mind and heart, the only distance is from Rainbow's Bridge - not you. I love you always and forever, you will never be forgotten, unloved or away from my deepest heart. Be well, play sweet girl and enjoy that beautiful rainbow. I will visit again next week to share my heart some more, my love.

2/2/2013
Hi Sweet Rosie, your absence is strongly felt so much, I miss you and I love you and I wish forever we could have you back healthy and whole. Molly is showing her puppy play, is improving with her housebreaking but still likes to mouth my hands. I'm full of scratches and pin holes where she has made connection, but I think she is beginning to understand 'NO BITE!' I know it took you a few weeks to learn that too, but you did and you were great fun for both Colleen and me, forever after that. Those little puppy teeth are razor sharp! I'd forgotten that part, like giving birth, the pain subsides with the joy of baby (fur baby or the child baby). She is a sweet pup and we are growing to love her. Our neighbors, Bob (next door) 'where's your big dog?' and I have to tell him and a few others what happened. Everyone is so comforting and consoling, but we know you are happy where you are even if Colleen and I miss you so much it hurts. I'm uploading a few more pix so others can see what a sweet, beautiful girl you are - they will never meet your heart and soul until we all come together in the Rainbow Bridge, but at least they can see your beautiful face and try to see deep inside those huge eyes to the tender heart beneath. We love you, Rosie, and God know's I miss you. Molly follows me from room to room, she's become nearly as much of a 'shadow' as you were, but you were a sharp cookie, laying in doorways as I moved from here to there, Molly will get the hang of this too, she's practically falling over my feet as I do my daily chores! She like the kitchen rug I am supposed to stand on when doing the dishes and takes her position right on the middle of the rug so I have to straddle her - smart little punk! She also prefers sleeping on the beds instead of the puppy bed, I'm letting her for now til she is a little more trustworthy in the house training routine. She did quite well today, yesterday we had two poo poo mistakes - both in the bathroom - easier to clean up there. Well my sweet girl, I have to go now, but know that I miss you so much my heart breaks, want you back within my body, mind and heart - but know you are healthy, whole and in some ways, happier at Rainbow Bridge.

3/28/2013

HI sweet angel. I haven't forgotten you for a moment. The computer in the office has a hard drive problem and the tech wizard is trying to fix it. In the meantime I had to go out and buy a laptop so that I could come and visit you and take care of household business. I'm sorry it's been so long, our office computer has been messing up for quite while and I've had to wait on Chuck to come out and get it. I still miss you so much, I was talking about you to a friend (Christine) and I still tear up thinking of you and how much I miss you. Molly is doing better now, she hasn't had a potty accident in the house for more than a week now, but she still has problems jumping up on me and on Colleen as well. She has very sharp puppy nails and has given both of us some scratches here and there. She is s nosy pup and has to have her nose in everything I do which gets annoying after a while,but she is just a little pup that has to learn her manners so it's not a big deal. Colleen is off for three days on a camping trip with Alyssa, so the house is pretty quiet here for a few days. I finally got one of the fabrics for your memory quilt but I found another one that I like too, so I've ordered it and it should be here soon so I want to start your quilt on Monday. This will be our first major holiday without you and your absence still leaves the house missing a major member of our family. I know you watch over us from Rainbow Bridge and I know you love us still, but we sure do miss your furry presence in our everyday life. I so miss you, Rosie, I miss hugging your soft neck and scratching your long back. I miss ruffling your ears and calling you in from the back yard. I miss your gentle woof reminding me to check the office door for you and cleaning up around your water bowl when you dripped from your chin after getting a big drink of water. I miss your sweet wagging tail, your quiet way of looking at me with love shining from your beautiful eyes. Though Colleen won't talk about it much, I know she feels much the same way as I do but it's still too painful to talk about for her. Grammie and Auntie Bee will be here with Colleen and me and Molly on Easter for our holiday dinner. I've asked Grammie to bring her dog Bambi to give Molly someone to run around the backyard with while we eat our holiday meal. It will also tire out both of them dashing around the yard so they will both sleep well that night. I think Grammie misses seeing you when she drops by once in a while, and this will be the first introduction Molly has to Auntie Bee. Do you remember how long it took for you to warm up to Auntie Bee? We laughed about that! Well, my angel Rosie, it's time for me to sign off for now. Know I will always love you, your are my Duchess Rose and I've loved you forever and will never lose that love for you. Be happy on Rainbow Bridge, run, play, roll in the grass free of flea's and other pests and drink deeply of the healing waters of the stream nearby. We love you and miss you and I couldn't bear it if you were unhappy there. Give Barney, Cookie, Candy, Bridget, Mac and Vicki a lick/kiss from us and keep hundreds for yourself - you deserve them! I love you.

3/31/2013

Happy Easter my darling Rose. It's the first major holiday without you and I feel it deeply. I'm sad about not having you here with us, but I know you are better, healthy, happy and running about Rainbow Bridge with all of your old friends and so many new ones you have met there. Molly is beginning to learn her sit's and stays, still jumping up on us but is showing improvement a little bit every day. When you were a puppy, you were so happy to see us you did the same thing and this I think is what Molly is experiencing now as well. You grew up to be the best friend I could ever have and I'm hoping Molly will grow up to be our second best friend (after you). Your bed is in the same place it was when you left, Molly won't sleep in it, somehow she knows it isn't hers, though I know you wouldn't mind if she 'borrowed' it. Colleen wants to get another dog, a golden retriever or a german shepherd. I want another dog like you, a lab with chocolate brown eyes that say 'I love you' all the time. Colleen had a great time on her camping trip, came home sore from hiking the Sta Monica mountains, cold, tired and wanted a shower more than anything. Even came home admitting she missed me and missed home. I felt a little abandoned, you weren't here and neither was she, but I'm glad she's back now, safe and sound even if she is a little sore and very tired. School will be back again on Tuesday, so she has another day off to prepare for the new quarter. Grammie and Auntie Bee just left, we had our traditional ham and scalloped potatoes with carrot/raisin salad, my favorite coleslaw and a lime jello salad. Little Bambi didn't come, Grammie felt it was too much for Easter and she was probably right. It's the first Easter I actually forgot to take pictures. You might not recognize the house, much has changed with new living room tables, a new refrigerator and new washer/drier unit. My bedroom has changed slightly too, with a new bedside table lamp and I replaced the TV stand with one of the large end tables from the living room. I rearranged the sunporch a little since I got rid of the old washer and drier out there and put in storage cabinets. We ate our Easter dinner in the sunporch and it was lovely, cool but not cold. I rinsed and organized the dishes to be washed tomorrow morning and put the left overs away and now I'm taking a well earned rest! I worked hard on getting our Easter dinner together and vacuuming up 2 pounds of bird seed that little Molly scattered all over the sunporch floor from the plastic canister. I guess I'll have to replace it with metal until she's a little older. Grammie wasn't feeling well this morning so she and Auntie Bee didn't go to Mass this morning, Colleen still complaining about her sore muscles, so I was the only one of us who went to church. Easter isn't Easter without morning Mass for me. I miss you terribly Rosie, my heart wants you back here so much. We love you and miss you every day. Colleen is talking more about you, making references to 'when Rosie was home' kind of thing, she's dealing with it as best she can and so am I. Don't feel sad about leaving us, we knew you had to go home to Rainbow Bridge and I didn't want you to suffer any more than you had already. You hung in there with us for as long as you could, because I don't think you wanted to leave us either. The Rose colored fabric that I ordered for your quilt hasn't arrived yet, but I'm hoping it will come tomorrow so I can start on your memory quilt on Tuesday, it's the only way I can still have a little bit of you to see everyday. I had hoped the fabric would be here by now. I love you always and forever, you are Rosie, the best friend I've ever had, the sweetest companion I could ever hope for. So gentle and loving, there can never be another Rosie, you made that yours forever. Colleen wants to get a German Shepherd or a Golden Retriever and call her Rolo. I still want another Lab and I think Peanut would be a nicer name, some dogs are NUTTY you know! I have to go now sweetheart, my angel Rosie, time for me to get my jammies on and get comfy and visit with Colleen a little, I've been so busy making dinner and straightening out Molly's messes that I haven't spent much time with her today and I don't want her to feel that I'm ignoring her. I love you, I will always love you, I'm sorry I didn't get you to the vet sooner maybe they could have done more for you and we could have had you for a little bit longer. Give Bridget, Cookie, Candy, Barney, Mac and Miss Vicki a quick kiss from me and keep hundreds for yourself. I love them all, sweet Rosie, but between you and me, I love you the most because you were the friend and companion I always wanted. You knew when I was sad, you knew when I was happy, you even knew when I wasn't feeling well or when I was upset about something. Always intuitive, very much the companion who never demanded, but didn't have trouble asking gently for the attention you wanted. Sniffing my elbow as I typed on the computer at my desk, rubbing your long back under my ankles when you wanted your back scratched, a few quick barks at the office door when you were ready to come inside, lapping your bowl dry and then bumping me with your nose to let me know it was empty and you were still thirsty! Laying by the office steps waiting for me to get another cup of coffee or go make the beds, pawing at the front door when you wanted a walk. Barking at the silly squirrel in the avocado tree and chasing the feral cats from our yard with your tail straight out behind you. Beautiful soft ears snuggling my knees in the morning as I climbed out of bed. I remember them all, even a few of your escapes! Romping the neighborhood to check out the smells, darting behind parked cars so I couldn't catch you, but staying just close enough so that you knew I was behind you and keeping you as safe as I could. I do remember and I always will. I know we will be together again someday, it's the missing your smell, your soft fur and your wagging tail that makes my heart break.

4/5/2013
Hi sweet angel girl, I still think about you every day and see your bed, empty in by bedroom. Molly won't sleep in it, I think she somehow knows it's yours and I still can't bear the thought of giving it away. I just bought that new bed for you for Christmas and you'd only slept in it a few times before you got so sick. It makes me sad to see the bed, but I can't bear to part with it, it's one of my last memories of you sweet Rosie and I don't want to give it away, I was going to trade with Grammie, she bought little Bambi a new bed at Christmas too, but I just can do it Rosie, it's part of you and part of me too. The house is coming along, still need to have the living room and hallway painted and I haven't been able to start your memory quilt, each time I bring out the fabrics to get started, I start crying and can't see through the tears. You were the glue in our little family that made us whole and we still feel your loss so deeply.

Colleen is having difficulties in school, mostly because she doesn't apply herself and do her homework, we have a new therapist to work out some of these issues, her name is Christine and she's much like Kerri was - so nice- seems to understand the dynamics that are operational. Well, my angel, I want you to know how much I love you, how desperately you are missed every moment of every day. Molly is a sweet pup, she clearly wants our love, but I'm afraid we give it in small doses, too small I fear, because we still love you so much. I don't want to be unloving to her, but I don't want to be disloyal to you either. I know you are happy in Rainbow Bridge, healthy and young and running the way you love to so much. I know you would want me to shower all of my love that I have for you and share it with Molly. I will try harder. Please whisper a prayer to Jesus for Colleen that she will try harder in school and give it her very best effort, whisper another for MOlly, so she will know she is loved, even when I feel distant from her, you can say one for me too, that I will weather our present turbulence with the knowledge of your ever present love. Always know my heart is with you, my love is eternal and so is Colleen's.

4/11/2013

Hi Honey bun, I know you are having lots of fun running and playing and feeling great. Colleen is off at the movies with Shiba and Arizell, they went to Knotts yesterday and had a full day of birthday fun for Shiba's birthday and then stayed overnight at Shiba's house. The house has been quiet without her but little Molly has added her own drama, tearing up cardboard boxes on the sunporch. I miss you my love and want to hold your sweet neck and kiss your ears like I used to, but I know you are happier where you are and healthier too. I need to let the little pup in in a second and go pick up Colleen from Shiba's house in a little bit, so I need to get Molly in so she can eat before I leave. I'll write more to you later, just wanted to let you know how much I love you and miss you my sweetheart.

5/13/2013

Good Morning my Rosebud, how are you today?
The day dawned bright and warm and we are in for another day of warm temperatures in the mid-80's. It's unseasonably warm for May and little Molly is especially feeling the heat. I remember how you used to love running through the sprinklers on warm days and trying to catch the drops in your mouth, you were so funny! We loved to watch you run and play through the sprinklers with Colleen and her friends on hot summer days. I hope it is comfortable but sunny in rainbows bridge and their are sprinklers nearby to keep you playfully entertained.
Yesterday was Mother's Day and it was kind of a downer for me, realizing that Colleen is getting older and will soon be on her way to college. Grammie is getting older too, and didn't go to church yesterday complaining of a stomach upset, so auntie Bee didn't go to church either - lots of shifting sands under my feet. This is a time of transition for us, teenagers coming and going, grandma's memory dimming just a bit, and me, in the middle of that sandwich, feeling a bit of the pressure from both generational sides. I always knew I could bare my soul with you, drip a tear or two on your warm fur, and you would be there to warm my heart, hear my words and kiss away the tears. Molly hasn't developed her 'ear' yet, still is a bundle of fun and play. We took her to grammies house yesterday so she could run and play with Bambi - Bambi's such a lap dog that it didn't work out as I had planned, but Molly enjoyed the car rides (finally got over that fear) and tired herself out running around Grammies small yard, while Colleen and I went off to lunch for Mother's Day. We will have the family celebration next week, breakfast after church and then to our house for desert and coffee (and presents!) Colleen gave me a lovely 'coupon book' to trade in coupons for 'free dishwashing service', 'extra hug and kiss', 'mom's pamper me day', a 'spa day ' and a 'mother/daughter day', others too numerous to mention. I'm using the 'pamper mom day' for one Sunday a month so she has to stay home, not dash off somewhere, and we can do something fun together.
Well, my darling Rosie, I have to sign off for now, play, run, dash through the droplets of the fountain or sprinkler, enjoy the lovely weather of Rainbow's Bridge and all of your old and new friends. I may add a picture of Barney here, a remembrance of when we were all together. I hope you wouldn't mind sharing a small part of your special place with him. I'm working on your memory quilt a little at a time, tears just naturally flow when I start to cut the fabric or stitch a block, my eyes get clouded with emotion so sometimes I have to put it aside for a day or two. I have the center pictures laid out, but am waiting until the wall hanging is finished before I mount your pictures - it still hurts terribly that you aren't here with us. I love you so much and I miss your gentle presence everyday. Your swishing tail, the way you would wiggle under my legs when I sat down for lunch and get your back rub, the softness of your ears - all of it. Molly is demanding her breakfast, and she's a hungry pup, so I have to sign off now before I get too steeped in loss, God I miss you Rosie, Colleen and I agree, we love little Molly, but you were the best dog/friend/girl EVER.

7/9/2013
Good Morning my dear Rosie! We are gradually acclimating to life without you but it has been a hard six months missing you so much. I've finished your memory quilt but have been searching to find the perfect picture of you to put in the center around the stars and hearts that make up the quilt.
I go through the pictures and think I've found the one I want, then 'no, there has to be a better one further down.' and cast it aside. I finally figured out what was missing in this selection process - YOU! your warmth, soft fur, gentle swishing tail and sweet soft ears. The pictures are just the one dimensional memories of all those things and ten times more. Now that I realize this I've selected one that I've ordered online on a soft white background fabric and I'm waiting for it to arrive so that I can finish the wall hanging and get it up in the hallway. We will always miss you and want you near to us sweet Rosie, but in your place we have the only part of you that I can keep forever - your picture. Molly is gradually growing out of her puppy antics, but still wants to chew everything in sight - including a little bit of me! She is a sweet dog that wants to be loved and cherished. I do love her, but I can't imagine loving another as much as I love you. Colleen keeps bugging me to 'find another Rosie', but of course, God only made one of you. We will have a second dog (hopefully at least a year old) to help Colleen through her teen years and to be a companion for Molly, as I did with you and Barney. I've been looking online but the 'right' girlie hasn't appeared yet. I would like a golden retriever or, like you, another lab and I'd like a girl with her manners in place to teach our pup Molly a thing or two! Like you, you taught Mr. Barney a few things! He taught you the escape artist, and you taught him manners and pinned his ears back a few time when he got too aggressive! As always, you are my girl forever and always and no other pup will ever take your place. We just had fourth of July - do you remember a few years back when I found you under Colleens bed when we got back from a BBQ? The big booms are a mystery to Molly - she seemed a little intimidated, but we were home this year so no bed searches were needed! She barked a little, jumped on the couch for reassurance from me, and kept looking out the sunporch door to see what was causing all the commotion, but didn't seem too fearful. Well, my darling, it's time to feed the terror of a terrier her breakfast, so I guess I must sign off for now. I love you, I will love you forever, and I know we will be together forever someday in the heavenly place God has for us.

7/30/2013

Hi my gorgeous girl,
It seems like forever since I ruffled your ears, scratched your back and kissed your noggin. I miss your sweet soft gentle ways, your wagging tail swaying gently beside me, the mornings you snoozed beside the desk as I worked away and got up only now and then to re-position yourself closer to me or to remind me it was 'walk time mom! cummon!'. It's hard to miss someone so much and not have her near to look in her beautiful chocolate brown eyes and tell her so. I know we kind of took you for granted, expecting you to always be with us, but life has a habit of doing that now and then. I'm so sorry we did that Rosie, it wasn't fair to you. Neither of us expected you to leave us, and then, not so suddenly. You were seldom demanding, always happy to see us and your calming nature was an inspiration to me, especially on those days when the teenage demons possessed the house and I needed the calming sense of your presence with me. I know you miss us too, though you have many old and new friends at Rainbow's bridge. We have little Molly with us and she is a cute and inquisitive pup, full of play and mischief and we love her. But she isn't our Rosie - no pup can ever replace the loving way you were with us, tolerating the move from the old house to the new one, sniffing under the house for the feral neighbor cats and shooing them out of the yard. Molly retreats there occasionally, but instead of chasing them, wants to play. She's lost a little fur on her right side to one of them, but came out unharmed otherwise. You would be such a good role model for our playful pup and a good guidance counselor too! You knew when it was 'time to go' trotted off to one of the bedrooms and settled in on Colleen's bed or on your bed in my room. I have to chase Molly to catch the little stinker and carry her to the bathroom and try to scoot her bed in there without her getting out again (she can't stay in the sun porch anymore, she is in the chewing phase of puppyhood and has chewed the corners off the couch cushions!!!) remember when you were in this phase of life? My vinyl flooring in the service porch took a hit from your sharp teeth. The process of maturing is hard on both sides. I'm so glad you had a few years with us at the new house, big backyard to run around and play in! You loved the sprinklers so much! Trying to 'catch' the water in your mouth. It was so comical and fun! Molly seems to like getting wet, runs through the sprinklers, but doesn't play with the water like you did, but she's a terrier and you the water loving Lab. Trying to train her, I think she'd eaten her weight in treats the last several weeks, and she weighs in at half of your weight, 22 pounds. I love you Rose, I can't express how deeply I love and miss you to this very day, I know I always will. My password on my new laptop is your 'official' name. It's a daily reminder of my love for you, and keeps your presence in some small way in our lives. so not to dismiss little Mollie, her name is the TV passcode with a hash. My sweet girl, you left us in January and here it is nearly August. You would have been ten this past July 4th, belated happy birthday to my girl - sweet Rosie, the Duchess of Labs, and Queen of our Hearts. I still look for you everyday, know you are in heavens Rainbow Bridge. I was going to change your site to summer, but I just couldn't do it, I love the spring colors. Be happy my darling Rose and know we will always love and miss you.

9/10/2013
Good afternoon my darling Rosie:
Yesterday was Colleen's birthday and the weekend before was the church fair, I've been busy baking brownies and working at the fair and looking after four teenage girls who camped out in the living room for the entire weekend! It was very hot here last week, which you know of course, but the weather has tempered a bit and it's been much more comfortable yesterday and today. Molly (your lil sis) is getting bigger and is not as wired as she was a few months ago, but still an energetic and curious pup! We miss you still, I know we always will, but I'm glad I can come here and be with you, just the two of us. I've made two memory quilts to hang in the hallway, both intending to have your picture on them, but I could never bring myself to add the picture and I didn't like the way either of them looked - may be it was just knowing this would be our only touchable connection with you. Last week I ordered three different new fabrics to try this process again, but I'm going to hold off for a few more weeks until I'm emotionally ready to try again. I am going to try to finish the wall hanging for the hallway and put it up by Christmas. I know it will make both of us sad to see - our last physical connection with you, but I need to see you every day as I walk to and from the bedrooms down the hall. Acceptance of your passing has been the hardest part of losing you. Your pain before was hard too, the realization that I couldn't let you suffer so and taking the final step - all were painful, but this acceptance part is the part that I guess will take a lot longer to process. We just don't get over 10 years of loving someone overnight - and we still have hearts brimming with love for you. I still guard the front door, even though Molly doesn't really run like you did - FREEDOM!!! - by Christmas I'm going to have a garden gate on the front yard to make sure other dogs can't get in and our dog can't get out. I remember chasing you down the street, leish in hand trying to catch you before you could get hurt by a car. Molly just jumps around, jumps on me, as if she's saying 'common - let't get that walk!'
You'd have fun with her, Rosie, a cute friend to annoy you and play with you when I'm busy in the kitchen or Colleen's off at school. Colleen has auditions for Best of Broadway at school tomorrow and if her homework is all finished, we are going out to dinner to celebrate her birthday. Grammie and Auntie Bee will be there and you know Colleen's friend Kayla is also coming. Well, sweet angel Rosie, it's time for me to get dinner together for Colleen and I - know we miss you and love you and I really miss your soft ears and your gentle wag of tail - just everything. Help me finish the next quilt and really put it up - I've donated the other two to charity - I just couldn't finish them - may be I wasn't really ready - are we ever? I do want to honor you in a special way with this memory quilt wall hanging - help me get past this last stage of acceptance so that I can? We love you and miss you every day. Have fun, take a kiss to Barney and Bridget for me - we love them too - and Cookie and Miss Vicki and little Candy girl too. Enjoy your summer garden - I will soon be changing the web to autumn - but winter - well, I can't go there.

10/13/2013
Hi Rosebud,we miss you, I love you and we would give anything to have you back. We are fairing ok without you, but I wanted you to know that I've applied to adopt a labrador retriever named Darcy. she is about your size, but very different with golden coat unlike your black and tan. She seems a sweet 2 year old and I'm hoping this adoption will be good for Colleen and I. Molly is doing better in her doggie training and is learning every day hr limits and what is and what isn't ok. She dogs me everywhere and I love her but Colleen feels a little intimidated by her puppiness.(she's pretty wired - but she's a terrier, not a laid back lab lady.). That I want another dog at all, Molly and Darcy, is a testament to you. We luv u

12/15/2014
HHi sweet angel Rosie! It may look as though I've forgotten you, but we haven't and never could. I had to delete a little I've written before to make more room. I can't bbelieve it will be two years this January that you've been gone. We still miss your sweet love in our life. We have two pups now, Molly about twoyears old and we adobtged Misty this year, she will be three in March. They knowyou becausethey know the love we shower on them because of you and the love you showered on us. I hopeyou are happy and healthy and running playing with other fur babies. Keep my love to warm you, remember it will never die, I still weep for your loss. and I probably always will. Our love will never die = it's eternal. I have to edit more of the 2013 posts so I can keep posting here, I'm out of space again. Love you.