I'm sorry but this is all that I am ready to write now. I will do her justice with an appropriate entry as I heal in the days and weeks to come.

[June 13th update below]
ok.... Memories...

When I say that she was perfect, she really never caused me any trouble -- except when I first got her. She was about 6 months old puppy -- my first puppy. She proved that CDs and DVDs were, in fact, NOT indestructible -- she chewed and destroyed so many of them as well as a $60 power cable for my apple laptop. After that phase, I never had any trouble with her -- very rarely had an accident in the apartment.

She was honest. I remember pointing at something that I suspected she had destroyed and asked "who did that?", and she slowly lowered her head to admit guilt. Months later, when I suspected her brother had destroyed something, I pointed at the damage and asked her again "who did that?". She slowly lowered her head, as before, but then turned her head to the left and pointed her head to her brother -- I'm 100% being honest.

She LOVED to play at the dog park. When she was about 1 1/2, she figured out how to play fetch with the "chuck it". I would throw the ball very far and she would bring it back -- often for 2 hours straight. Unfortunately, Scala was VERY competitive. She always had to win. She would play "chase me" with bigger dogs because she knew that she was faster and would wrestle with smaller dogs because she knew she was stronger and would win (until she met her little brother Leo -- more on that later). She would jump on the picnic tables to greet people close up. Unfortunately, her tail was VERY strong. In her joy, her wagging tail would often wack people in the head. The limb became famously referred to as "the lethal tail".

The happiest that I ever saw her was when I brought her to Chicago White Sox baseball games on "dog days". I have no idea why, but she was super happy the whole game. I could not even watch the game because she would nudge me to look at her constantly -- as if to say "look Daddy, do you see how happy I am?" She would be breathing heavy and tail wagging at max speed banging against the metal seats -- apparently hurting the seats more than her.

[June 18th update below]
I think that I've healed enough now to give her a full bio. I adopted her when she was only about 6 months old. I remember as we were walking to my car, the foster mother gave me the leash. Scala seemed to lean towards the foster mother, but, after a few steps, realized that she was going home with me.

Scala was always so friendly to people and other dogs. She sometimes got bit by other dogs because she just assumed that all dogs were as friendly as her -- even when the other dogs would growl aggressively to her.

One time at Petsmart, she saw a dog and exchanged friendly "barks". I was in a hurry and was annoyed as she and the other dog persisted in the growingly distant conversation as the owner walked farther away. Finally, I did my best imitation of their barks. Scala turned to me, tilted her head and gave a puzzled wining sound -- as if she were saying "huh, I don't understand what you're saying."

I would take her to a vacant lot nearby late at night during the week to get some exercise. She was very obedient and would not try to go under corporate fences. One night, she spotted a skunk, ran straight to it and lowered down to her elbows repeatedly. I screamed "Scala, that's a skunk, not a dog! -- it doesn't want to play chase!!!! This went on for about 10 seconds -- she eventually came to me. Incredibly, the skunk did not spray her.

Scala was not very affectionate. I would want her to give me kisses, bringing her face closer to mine. She would turn her head away and refuse -- but Scala was very jealous! So, I would grab Shelly (and later years do the same with Leo) and give a belly rub and kisses. Scala would get very upset and jealous. She would rub herself against me and slobber my face with kisses -- SHE FELL FOR THAT TRICK EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!

She would get into mischief with her sister Shelly. When I brought both of them to the vacant lot, Shelly ignored my calls and the corporate fences -- she went into corporate property and where ever she wanted. -- and Scala would go where ever her big sister went. Then, they wandered into a factory that had their garage doors open because of the hot summer night. I ran screaming for them to get out. They walked out voluntarily by the time I caught up. I called for Shelly to come back to me immediately -- both dogs accelerated their speed AWAY FROM ME as I said those words. I apologized to a couple of the factory workers who could not stop laughing about the incident.

She was very sweet. I had chew bones for her and Shelly. Shelly, knowing how cute she was, whined to Scala that she wanted the bone that Scala had in her mouth. After about a minute of whining, Scala opened her mouth and dropped the bone to Shelly's paws.

Scala and I were alone for about 18 months after Shelly died. This was a difficult time for both of us. Scala got a very bad fungal ear infection that took about 6 months and a few antibiotics to cure. Then, we both got black mold poisoning in the apartment. Finally, about 10 months after Shelly died, Scala had diarrhea very badly in the apartment. I took her to Banfield where they diagnosed her with kidney disease. In the months that followed, her condition worsened despite the kidney safe diet. Eventually, it was revealed that she had a growth in her poly thyroid gland -- she would need to have the gland removed. After the surgery, she refused to eat -- her blood tests showed her condition worsening. A dog park friend cooked Scala a chicken rice stew -- Scala wolfed it down! I then cooked for her until she was ready for her normal kidney safe kibbles -- her condition would only improve from then on.

About a month before her surgery, I adopted another beagle mix -- "my crazy little boy" Leo. Scala and Leo hit it off better than I could ever of hoped. They would wrestle constantly -- even when Scala didn't want -- LOL!!! One time, as I was taking them down the stairs, they decided to wrestle -- both went tumbling down to the first floor. I was terrified for a moment. Both of them hopped up and continued their wrestling match -- uninjured. I realized then that they were both made out of rubber.

They remained wrestling buddy's for the next 2 1/2 years. After we moved to northern California, I would take them to the dog parks here. I was even more diligent about making them wear their sun shirts -- and especially making sure that Scala's shirt stayed wet to keep her cool from the sun.

After 10 months of living in northern California, Scala entered complete kidney failure -- I had only noticed minor symptoms starting 8 days earlier. I took her to Banfield to get 2 full days of IV fluids -- but her creatine levels continued to rise to over 10.6. I blame myself for her (possibly) getting over heated in the sun despite the temperature only being in the low 70s -- and I made sure her sun shirt was wet. I poured water on her head repeatedly. when she refused to eat breakfast the morning after 2 full days of IV, I rushed her to the emergency room. The vet wanted to meet with me personally. She told me that Scala was in complete kidney failure -- and if Scala were her dog, that she would end her suffering. I remembered the horrible suffering that Shelly endured for 2 months of kidney cancer, so I agreed to put her to sleep.

I was alone with Scala, balling my eyes out, telling her how much I loved her and that she would always be my little puppy. Throughout the 9 years that I had her, I had always tried to hold her face to mine and look straight into her eyes, but she would never let me -- and would pull her head away. This day, she did not move her head away even as I let go of her head. She looked into my eyes and did not turn away. Somehow, she knew what was about to happen and was happy that her suffering was going to end. In dying, Scala would remind me of the lesson Shelly had tried to teach me -- "Daddy, don't assume that there is more time".

Things that I regret:
--- I wish that I had taken Scala to a baseball game after we moved out to northern California. I was planning to take her to one either this fall or next spring -- I assumed that we had more time together.

--- I wish that I had thrown the ball more for her at the dog park (though she rarely had the energy to bring the ball back anymore) -- my focus was mostly on exercising her brother playing fetch as he would have too much energy during the week otherwise. One time, I saw Scala lower head with her tail down walking away from me -- she was very sad. So, I called to her and threw the ball. She instantly lit up and ran for the ball. After that, I would fake out Leo to run the wrong direction and throw close to Scala so that she could "win" and get to the ball first -- I wish that I had done this more with her instead of only a few times per dog park visit.

--- The night before Scala died (Wednesday night), she did something that she never did before, she led me to apartment's pool gate. I opened the gate. She led me to the pool and put one foot in. Her foot slipped and she backed off frightened. I looked at her and said "Scala dogs are not even allowed in patio area and definitely not the pool. But I'll bring you here on Friday night -- most people will be out so less likely anyone will see us. Scala had eaten her entire dinner that night so I assumed that she had several days left for sure. I will regret the rest of my life for not helping her into the pool that night. We had walked by that gate 500+ times -- she NEVER tugged at the leash to go in there. She had loved to fetch the ball in ponds and creeks -- she wanted to go into water one last time before she died.

My next dog will definitely be a black lab because Scala was the most perfect dog I could have asked. Her adoption agency (and other sources) have told me that black labs don't get adopted as much as brown and yellow labs. Not sure why this is but, because of Scala, black labs are my favorite dogs.

July 8, 2023:
My baby girl, my little puppy. It's one month now since I lost you. I still blame myself for not protecting you from the sun -- should have kept you indoors -- but I'm still not sure what it was that caused your kidneys to fail so suddenly. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I miss hugging you and kissing you. Your brother is still very upset. He barks if I leave him alone in the apartment or the car. He gets very scared now because you are not there with him. A neighbor has graciously agreed to watch him on the days that I go into the office. We are both still very shaken up by you leaving us so suddenly. I want you to know that you were never second best to Leo or Shelly. I love you so much! My forever puppy. I wish that you were still here.

July 14, 2023
My forever puppy, I realized something today. We have never been apart for even 1 full day, other than when you had your surgery. That's why it feels so wrong that you're not here. Shelly was shared by her mother and me for almost 6 years, but you were all mine.
I know that it's my fault that your kidneys suddenly failed. You over-heated/dehydrated at the dog park -- I underestimated the California sun's effect on you. I should have been more careful -- left you home and just taken your brother only -- you would have been sad but alive. I could have just waited for the weather to cool down before taking you again. I should have taken you to the vet right away -- I don't know what I was thinking. I got complacent because your kidney disease had been stable or improving ever since your surgery. I am so sorry my baby girl.
I wish you were here. I would take you to Oakland A baseball games every 2 weeks -- you always LOVED baseball games I still wear your harness around my neck at home so that I can smell you. Your brother misses you terribly too. I want to adopt black lab, instead of another breed, so that it will feel a little bit like you are still here.
I hope that you are wrestling, fetching balls and running thru water where you are now. I know that's how you would like to spend eternity. I miss you very much.

December 10, 2023:
Happy Birthday my baby girl!!! You would be 10 years old today. I adopted your little sister on July 27th -- I had to do it -- Leo was just too upset without you. Elsa looks a lot like you -- black lab/pit bull mix. SHE IS HYPER -- I really appreciate how wonderful you were -- you were SO MUCH EASIER TO TAKE CARE OF. She drives Leo crazy the same way he always bugged you to play -- I get a kick out of it.
I miss you so much -- especially lately. This is my first Thanksgiving and Christmas without you in 10 years. I pray to God that he lets you hear me when I talk to you so you know how much I miss you and how loved you are. I miss hugging you at night. I still feel bad about the things that I didn't do with you in California because I thought we had more time.

I pray that you are playing with Shelly and your human sister. That you are playing fetch and swimming in cool water. I love you very much.

May 27, 2024:
I adopted you 10 years ago yesterday my little lamb. I remember you were only about 37 lbs, just a 5 month old pup. The foster Mom's little boy said "I'm going to miss her" about you. The mother said that they had to let dogs get adopted from foster care so that they could save more dogs. You and Shelly had no problems, but I didn't see a connection either -- I was worried at the time. Then, the foster Mom and I walked to my car. When she started to walk back to her house you started to move in that direction too. But you saw that I had the leash, so you knew that you were going with me. You've been mine ever since. I still have your picture as the wallpaper on my phone -- it makes it less painful for me. I miss you my baby girl. Please play and have fun with your sisters. I love you very much.

June 8, 2024:
It's been 1 full year since you've been gone my baby girl. It only feels like you've been gone a few months. I think about you a lot and miss you so much. I still regret not taking you to the ocean, not taking you running with me when you were old enough and not putting you in a trailer for my bike. Daddy has learned from you -- I'm showing love to your brother and sister because I know now that I cannot assume how long they will be here -- or how long I will be here.
I'm learning mountain biking and getting into shape. I'm going to take your brother and sister to learn how to swim so that I can take them to lakes -- like I wish that I had done with you. I know the urgency now. Leo got bit by a tick a few years ago -- not sure if that will shorten his life -- so, I'm going to do things with him while we are both still here.
I miss you sweetheart. I wish that you could have enjoyed California more. I wish that I had done a lot of things with you -- but I assumed that we had more time together. I love you. Play with Shelly and your human sister. One day, I'll join you guys.

Please also visit Shelly Lezimis.