We buried him near the gazebo. There is a patch of lilies right next to him. There is a resin plaque in the shape of a paw print to mark his grave. It reads "You left your paw print on my heart".

There were no strangers in Scoutie's world. Everyone he met was an instant friend. He loved people, and other dogs, and going for rides, and new places, and being told how handsome he was. When Scoutie discovered that the small pond by the gazebo was home to a frog, he spent hours on his belly staring at the water.

Scoutie was a sweet little guy. I used to smuggle him into work with me, and he became the well-loved, unofficial mascot at my office. He brought so much joy into my life. Unfortunately, he was diagnosed with liver disease last October. Since both his dad and I are retired, we were able to spend every waking hour with him, until our last trip to the vet.

I keep waiting for him to come home. I look down the hallway, expecting to see him peeking his head out of the bedroom. I expect to hear him walking around in the night. I go to the back door to let him in before I realize he's not out in the yard. I miss him so much, and wonder if I'll ever get past this heartache.

10/06/2020

Lend me A Pup
"I will lend to you for a while, a pup," God said,
"For you to love while he lives, and mourn when he's gone.
Maybe twelve or fourteen years, or maybe two or three,
But will you, 'til I call him back, take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you (and should his stay be brief),
you'll always have his memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
but there are lessons taught below I want this pup to learn.

I've looked the whole world over in search of teachers true
and from the folk that crowd life's land I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love nor think the labor vain,
nor hate me when I come to take my pup back again?"

"I fancied that He heard me say, Dear Lord, thy will be done,
For all the joys this dog will bring, the risk of grief I'll run.
I'll shelter him with tenderness, I'll love him while I may,
And for the happiness I'll know, forever grateful stay.
But should You call him back much sooner than I've planned,
I'll brave the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand.
If, by my love, I've managed Your wishes to achieve,
In memory of him I loved, to help me while I grieve,
When my faithful bundle departs this world of strife,
You'll send me yet another pup to love all his life."

~Author Unknown

12/08/2020

I woke up very sad this morning. I had a terrible dream that Scoutie was lost, and although I searched and searched, I could not find him, and I had to leave to go home. When I awoke, I realized that Scoutie would have turned 12 this week. He's been gone for almost 6 months, and it still hurts. It probably always will...