His health began to deteriorate in the last year, more so in the last 6 months - he seemed to lose some of his joy of life. After a very rough last two weeks, trying to manage Alfie's pain from the enlarged heart and extremely severe arthritis in both his shoulders and hips, and right front leg knee joint, same on left rear leg......and his huge behavioral change - aggressively barring teeth and biting me (5 times) EVEN after higher doses of Meloxydil and Gabapentin.....and having to hear him wake at night and moan in pain....and try to get more drugs down him......

I had a consultation with Dr. Dogra (yep - what a GREAT name for an Indian Vet) and we had the hard discussion of quality of life...and not keeping him in a painful situation because I was not ready to say goodbye. Dr. Dogra indicated that his much higher pain levels were causing the behavior, and even with the higher doses - without Vet sedation, the pain from his enlarged heart and the arthritis...PLUS some reasonably expected senility at 15 years (105 in Dog Years) ....no surgical modalities were available - he would not have survived the anesthesia, much less an invasive procedure. And his condition would only continue to worsen.

So we planned his Crossing of the Rainbow Bridge.

Alfie had a great Last Day - he spent time outside in the Yard he loved - we actually had a sunny day, no rain...he laid on his pad in the sun and although tough for him - actually laid down for an hour. I had to pass on work for the day, and spent the time outside with him. We had a long slow final walk - for over an hour and he sniffed everything......I would usually tell him "It's a Walk...not a Sniff"...and loose the argument :)

As a sweet parting Farewell - after I could barely touch him in the last month...he let me hold him, and huggle him...one last time...perhaps he knew it was his time. I spent most of the afternoon, crying and telling him "Daddy Loves You"

His Exit procedure was performed at Animal Medical Center by Dr. Dogra, and the little Bug fought to the last - would NOT let the Nurse put a Catheter in his foreleg - they brought him into my room, and I held hem while Dr. Dogra administered a sedation shot. I held him for at least another half an hour, telling him Daddy loves you and that he was a Best Boy...wrapped him in his favorite blue blankie...then held him and looked into his eyes, saying "Daddy Loves You" while Dr. Dogra gave him the final shot...I kissed his forehead and watched the life go out of his eyes...and cried and held him another half an hour before I could let him go.

I have been crying since...a HUGE piece of my heart is gone with the Little Bug..........at least I could be with him, for his Crossing. I know he will be with Shogun, Master Remington, Chewy, Foxy, Odin, and Queen Roo ( the cat who raised him as a puppy - give her a wide berth)

I am washing his Boat and Blanket...they will stay on my bed in the same spot....as long as I'm alive as a Memorial to the Little Bug with the Heart of a Lion. It is more than lonely now when I am truly "alone" in the house....I keep hoping to see the Little Bug on his Boat....on my bed. I miss him horribly and so want him back...

Loving you all through the tears Little Bug