Although, I still cry every day over missing you Spencer Buck, I feel it's time for me to put this memorial up for you.

I still can't believe you're gone. As silly as it probably sounds to everyone, I really thought that you would be with me forever.

We were just 5 days short of your 19th birthday bud. I'm just so sorry I couldn't help you more. Sorry, I couldn't think of something to do for you sooner?

You always had me fooled with your great bloodwork all the time and even right before it was "time" you had a great heart, lungs, liver, kidney, everything.

That all makes me so sad! All of the "BIG" things were in good shape...but that arthritis and the bigger problem, zero muscle mass was the final straw.

So sorry, I didn't know about the lack of muscle mass sooner or that I didn't do something to help you try to gain more muscle mass. By the time I tried, it was too late, you weren't eating anywhere close to what you would need to eat for muscle mass to develop again.

I am sorry that your last month with me sucked.

I had false hope with all of your good blookwork and everything and I wanted to make sure I gave you a fair shot at feeling better.

Please forgive me if your couple noises you made to me meant you were "ready." Again, you were doing everything right Spencer, eating, drinking, peeing, pooping, even grooming yourself, that I didn't think that's what it meant.

I knew you were tired and just exasperated that last day tho. I'm so, so, so sorry Spencer.

I hope you know how much I love you and miss you and how much I loved you and cared for you soooo much when you were with me.

I miss you cuddling with me in the morning under the blankets.

I miss you head butting me on my hand or my head.

I miss hearing you purr so loudly as soon as I'd start petting you.

I miss seeing you play with your lemonade toy that I covered in catnip.

I miss seeing you sleeping with your fangs handing out as you snore away.

I miss hanging out with you on the porch and watching you on your cat tree look in the yard.

I miss watching you sun on your cat seat.

I miss you sleeping with me on the couch.

Spencer, I just miss everything about you.

But you know, I'm so happy that you spent 19 years with me....from when you were 3 months old! Just a little baby.

You were the oldest kitty cat that I ever had, ever!

And you touched me with your sweet, special, kind and caring ways.

We had a bond Spencer that was just awesome. Not many could understand it, but they could see it!

I appreciate you talking to Colors and asking her to take care of me (boy was she up my butt for a while. She's still taking care of me, but she seems to have settled down a little bit at least.)

I see you everywhere I go in the house bud.....and I'm so happy that we moved into this house with you.

You loved it soooo much. You really were living your best life here! I just wish it didn't have to end when it did.

I was so proud of you and how you (and Colors) handled the move to the beach. Fantastic job.

We came a long way together Spencer Buck....

From that day I went to the Chester County SPCA and you were hiding from me behind a chair, until I scooped you up and then I took you and your brother, Riley, home with me that day.

OMG, remember how riled up he was in the cage??? Then a sweetheart as soon as we get home.

You were a sweetheart from the jump, just a little scared.

From that day to the beach and everywhere in between.

I'll never forget you Spence, ever. I miss you and love you so much. I really, really hope you know and I really hope what they say about the Rainbow Bridge is true, because I hope you're having fun with your brother right now and I can't wait to see you and your brother and all of my kitties again!

Have fun up there bud, I sent your blanket and lemonade toy with you, I hope you're enjoying them.

Have a good cat nap and I'll see you in the morning, some day!

Please also visit BLADE, BUDDY and RILEY.