Storm came into my life at the ripe ole age of 10 weeks old. In fact, he passed away the very same week 16 yrs later that I called him my own. I had to drive about 60 miles to get him on the worst stormy day I have ever seen. I kept getting turned away because of road closures and washed out roads. But I was determined to have him. I finally arrived, about 4 hrs later. There were 3 puppies left and Storm was the only one who ran out to greet me. I bent down and jumped on my knee and started licking my face, of course I had to scoop him up and run home. It was love at first lick! Little did I know that was the beginning of a 16 year journey of love unconditionally and lots of laughter. Storm or Stormy as he was sometimes called, gave me the greatest gift. He was the most gentle dog with both people and other dogs. He wasn't a fan of cats but he wasn't vicious either. Although a coyote he ran after caused him a bump on the eye once, when he slid on the wet grass in his older days of life. Storm didn't know the meaning of getting old. Until about 2 years ago, he thought he was still a puppy. He still swam in the pool and still played with the many toys in his toy box. I gave him whatever he wanted, within reason of course. I protected him every day of his life and in return he did nothing but love, love, love me! Storm has many little nicknames; punkin, baby boy, stormy, mommas lil boy and many, many more. I have so many memories that I will keep locked in my mind. Like the bit of separation anxiety he had that made me want him with me even more. He like jet skiing, riding on the quad with me, swimming, digging in the sand, hiding his treats even though sometimes they weren't even hidden (very adorable by the way), chewing up stuffed animals and spitting out the stuffing until there was nothing intact except maybe the head and one arm. The way he would take his dog food that had vegetables in it and literally spit the peas out of his mouth onto the ground next to his bowl. I could go on and on and on. I just wanted to say, he was the absolute best thing that ever happened to me and he fullfilled me. I never had any human babies, just the one and only Stormy baby! I miss you so much Storm and my heart is breaking terribly not having you here in the house with all of your things. I still have your toy box sitting next to the desk and your treats on the kitchen counter. I cannot seem to quit crying, I hurt more than I have ever hurt in my life. Please send me some kind of sign that you are okay, you didn't suffer and I will see you again someday my precious baby dog! I love and miss you sooooooooooooo much punkin! Thank you for the greatest 16 years of my life!
January 15, 2009...Hey baby boy, it's been almost a week since I had to let you go. I had another tough night last night. Still only getting couple hours of sleep, the evidence is in my eyes. The guilt is overwhelming me that I let you go because of your age and your sudden pain. The guilt of not taking the time to find out what was causing you such great pain. What if it was fixable? What if I could have saved you from pain for a few more months or a year. A few months ago you were healthy, your blood work told me so, what happened? I am angry at myself for allowing me to be talking into doing something I would not have done if I was alone. I'm not mad at anyone else and I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at me. I hope your ashes arrive soon, then I can talk to you whenever I want. Christi's husband is going to make me a box to put your urn, collar and leash and stuffed animals in so I wont have to part with anything. Please know that I love you very much, no matter what hasty decision I felt I had to make last Friday, believe me I regret it every second of my day. January 18, 2009...Hey my baby boy, well guess what? I made it through another day. I want you back so bad! I am still crying myself to sleep at night, but I'm functioning during the day. I miss you so much. I want to kiss your adorable little head and rub those very soft ears of yours. Your ashes are expected to make it home tomorrow. It's going to be a tough day for me, but I will be so glad to have at least that much back since i know reality is, I will never have you back. Your funny memories are keeping me going day after day. I love you my little punkin wunkin, I wish we had more time..... |
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