2/20/11 - It's been 24 hours since I got the call you had passed into the west. I have been reading articles about how you are near us and you are still on this Earth. Dearest Z, I love you so much. I miss you every second and my heart is breaking because of the void you have left. Please know that we WILL be together again. We WILL meet again. I know I was the only human you ever trusted so trust me one last time: "And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy." D&C 130:2 Until then, my bed is always warm and will always have a space for you. You are in my heart, Z. I LOVE YOU!

2/26/11 - Hi Z. It's been a full week since you passed. I keep a light on for you all night. You will always have a place here safe from the cold. I love you, Z. I remember the whole chain of events so clearly. I remember feeling hope Wednesday when I found out this could be treated with antibiotics. I remember actually jumping out of my seat so happy at work when I was told you might have eaten something on Thursday. Then, on Friday, the sadness when we had to put the feeding tube in. Saturday morning at about 6:00 AM, I called to check on you and was heartbroken to find out you were put on Oxygen. My sweet Z, you died 2 hours later. I miss you so much. I can still feel you in the house and my Vixen looks for you every time I come home hoping I brought you with me. You will always be in my heart and I know we will be together again. I picked up your ashes yesterday. Of course you know, I cried all the way home. I love you so much, Z. I know now not to fear Hell. For a world without you and a world without my Vixen is Hell. Hell is right here on Earth. I miss you so much. We will be together again!

3/19/11 - Hi Z. It's been a month since I've last seen you. I have felt you every day and I miss you still each and every day. Tears still come so fast when I think of you but I know you are still around me and I know we will never be apart from each other. My sweet Z, you have given me so many wonderful things. You have taught me so much and I am so grateful for all you have done. I love you so much and I miss having you around. Vixen misses you too. I found the brush I used to brush you with and Vixen sniffed it for the longest time. I know your Spirit is watching over us and keeping us safe. I know you are still with me in bed at night and I know we will be together again. You are my love, Z. I love you SO MUCH and I miss you all the time. My world will never be complete without you. You are one of the best friends I've ever had. I miss you! I LOVE YOU, Z!!! Thank you for loving me!! I will find you and we WILL be together again!! I love you Z!!

5/19/11 - Hello again, my sweet Z! Oh, how I still miss you! So many wonderful things have happened during the three months you have been gone. For all of these things, I thank you for them. Vixen is feeling better. Because of your passing, she has been so sad and has mourned for you greatly. She got so sick and developed what is believed to Colitis because she was missing you so much. You have taught so many things since you have been gone: How to be happy. How to love. How to enjoy every possible moment. I love you so much, Z. I miss you so much and I hope you always know how close you are to my heart every day. I hope you know that I still have not forgotten you and that you are in my heart every day. I am still healing and I will never be the same again but I promise Z, I wouldn't change it for the world. I know we will find each other again! God keep us both as we find each other! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY SOUL! I am never alone because of you! I will love you for ever! Thank you for loving me! We will always be one! I love you!!!

2/19/12 - It's been a year, Z. In fact, exactly one year ago to the minute, I was at the hospital with you. Z, I have thought about you every day since that day. I have relived that week and all I did over and over and over the past few days. I can't tell you how much I miss you. I can't tell you how much I love you. I know we'll be together again someday but in the meantime, Vixen and I have a hole in our hearts. I know you have been with me, Z. I feel you everytime I find a cat on the road and I knew you were there helping Kalie (formally "Noha") find a home. I know you are still working with me and I know you are there receiving other animals who are missing their human. That comfort only goes so far, however, because there is nothing I want more than to have you and Vixen sleeping on top of me once again. I love you, Z. It's been a year but it might as well have been February 19, 2011 all over again. I love you, Z. I LOVE YOU EVERY SINGLE MINUTE AND EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! Thank you for loving me! I am so honored to be your person! I LOVE YOU!!!

2/19/13 - Hi Z! About a month ago, I sent a dear friend your way. I hope you found Betty and she found you, too. I know you will take good care of her. Oh, Z, I got so angry the other day when I realized it had ONLY been two years since you passed. How can it ONLY be two years? It honestly feels that it has been forever and I miss you so much, Z. It all seems so much like a dream and I wish you were here with me. Why do humans have to live so long? So much has happened this past year and I know you are with me. You give me so much strength. I love you, SO MUCH and I miss you, SO MUCH! It's all coming back to me - the love and joy of knowing you and being your person - and also the pain of having to live so long without you by my side. I miss your eyes, your meow, your gentle loves and the fact that you gave everything you are to me. My brave, brave, Z. I have not forgotten you and I will never forget you. Two years CAN and DOES seem like a lifetime! I know it will end and we will be together. Until then, please know I love you with all of my heart. I miss you every day. I wish you were here. My gorgeous Z. I can't wait to be together again. Stay with me tonight, Z. I need you. I LOVE YOU!!! You are always in my heart!! I LOVE YOU, TRONICS!!!!

1/25/17 - Hi Z! It's hard to believe it's been 6 years. It doesn't feel like it's been that long. Time has moved really slowly since I've lost you. I hope you know that you are loved and you are missed. I hope you know that even after these 6 years I am still teary when I think about you and visit those empty places in my heart. Those days with you and Vix were golden days and I miss you SO MUCH! It's still true, what I said all those years ago, that every day I wake up is one day closer to seeing you and I am grateful and hopeful that God will love us enough to let us spend eternity together. You are my Z-Tron and I love and miss you like no one else can. Never leave my side for you are always in my heart. I love you, Z. I miss you, Z. Please stay with me forever! I love you SO MUCH!!!

2/1/19 - Hi Z! No, I haven't forgotten you. In fact, I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I love and miss you so much. I know you're still around next to me. It's so strange that even though it has been so many years I still feel like you are next to me. I love you with all of my heart, Z. You are and will forever my Z-Tron!! I love and miss you SO MUCH!!!! You are my heart, Z!!! You always will be!!

1/28/20 - Hi Z -- I miss you so much!! I have been thinking a lot about you lately. I miss you so much and imagine all the time you licking my arm and snuggling into me sleeping on my legs. I know it's been several years but I still love you as much as I did the day we said good bye. I still feel so bad about what happened. I know the doctor told me you were sick but I do worry all the time if I did something to make things worse for you. I still have not forgiven myself. I do not think I ever will. You are my Z and I love you with all of my heart and I can't wait until we are back together again. You are still my Z-Tron! You always will be my little Z. My security cat. My girl!! I love you with all of my heart. I promise, that will never change!!!

2/2/21 - Hi baby. I miss you Z. It's been a long time since we've last cuddled but you still have a warm place in my heart. I miss you so much and it seems just like yesterday I was writing my first entry the day after our last good byes. I know and hope for a day when we will be together again. We will play, talk and I will get to hear your voice once again!! I know this life is a short time but I want you to know I'm still loving you every bit as much as I always have. Love will go on forever. Mine included!! I love you Z! I miss you every day!!!

2/5/2022 - Hi Z. This is always so hard. Every year I come here and visit you and every year it brings to the surface all of the pain and heartache I felt the day I lost you. I can't do this without crying. It's still so fresh. They say you never really stop hurting, you just get used to living without them. That's how I feel with you, Z. It's so clear in my mind the day we met. You were sleeping in the neighbor's porch chair because you didn't have a home and I brought you inside because it was going to be cold that night. Vixen didn't seem to mind you being there so you stayed. You changed our lives. You made everything so wonderful and I love and miss the days when we would all go to bed and I would demand that we'd have both you and Vixen on the bed. I couldn't sleep otherwise. You were in charge of security for the place and you did an amazing job! You took SUCH GOOD CARE of me!! I love you so much, Z. I also remember the day I said good-bye. I still hurt today the same way I did back then. 11 Years ago. Time means nothing. My heart is still empty. I heard a cool saying this week though that gives me hope. I read that when you love something, you give part of your soul to that person or thing. They also give part of them to you. So, when they die, part of you dies with them. BUT - you also have a part of them living inside of you too. SO, Z, you aren't really gone. You still are inside of me. You still are my guardian and my protection. And one day we will be together again and we will both be whole and there will never be any more goodbyes. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, Z! Never leave me. Please always stay with me! We will be together again soon! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MY FRIEND! I LOVE YOU Z!!!