Bug came to us in October of 2010 with her mother, 2 sisters and 1 brother. Luna, her mother came to our front porch as a feral cat and befriended my wife Nicole. Bug was the first to come in to our house and was so small that we had to bottle feed her. Over the next few weeks all of the kittens and Luna moved in to our upstairs where we raised them. By the time they were all about 12 weeks old we knew something was wrong with Bug as she was only about half the size of her siblings. At 4 months Bug was only about 1.5 lbs and we took her to our vet to see what was wrong. The vet put her on medication to get her to eat. This worked some as she made it to 4 lbs. We had her spaid at 8 months and they did some exploratory surgery to see if there was anything wrong with her. Once again the Dr. said she looked okay but was just small. She never wanted to eat and we had to always sit with her and talk to her and pet her while she ate. We thought she was finicky as the Dr. said she was okay. Bug stayed about the same for the next 6 months and we thought she was just a small cat. At the end of December we took her in for a checkup to a new vet as we had moved. He was alarmed at how small and skinny she was and sent us to a specialist. We took her to him on a Friday and he wanted full blood work done, which we did on Monday and it was sent to several places around the country to be checked. The specialist was not alarmed but was worried for a time down the road as she was so skinny but we always got at least one can a day of food in her. Between Monday and Wednesday Bug became very lethargic and on Wednesday she was very sick. We took her to the hospital. Bug passed away on Thursday of that week and the shock and sadness was overwhelming. We thought she was skinny but had never been led to belive by any Dr. she was in danger. We had a necropsy done on her at Utah State and we found that Bug had pancreas problems that kept her from absorbing food, thus as much as she ate she did not get the nutrients. She also had problems that did not allow her to break down her food. This was also complicated by Pancreatis which she had, had recurring episodes we had not known about. Bug passed away from scarring of the pancreas which led to her passing. We would have done anything for her if we had known anything was wrong. I feel like we missed signs and that our Dr.'s missed things and this is what is causing my anger at this time.

Bug, was the cutest most loving little cat. She loved to get under the covers and snuggle at night and anytime a fly or spider was in the house she would light up and was always the first to get to them over her brothers and sisters.

She gave me so much joy in her way too short life and I miss her more then words can say.

We do still have 2 of her siblings and her mother and other sister are with my wife's sister and thus we get to see them regularly, but Bug was my favorite and the one who stole my heart.

Bug, I will always love you.

2/5/12 Bug, today it has been one month since you passed. Our hearts are still so broken and we miss you so much. I continue to cry every day and you are always in my thoughts. I hope you are doing well in your new world where you are free from the problems you faced here. We all look forward to the day we are reunited with you. We love you.

2/16/12 It has now been 6 weeks since you passed away my Bug. I am still going through an emotional roller coaster. Sometimes I am so angry at myself for not having done more to know you were sick and getting you help. Some days I think about how cute and fearless you were and how you never took crap from our other kids. But, most of all I miss you so much everyday and would give anything to have you wake me up in the middle of the night to feed you and keep you company or have you climb under the covers to cuddle with me or Nicole.

I hope you are doing well at the Rainbow Bridge and the day will come when we are reunited.

3/5/12 Bug, it has now been two months ago today that we lost you. Not a day passes that I do not think about you and I still cry every day. The tears are starting to become fewer and the anger is not as bad as it was. I do miss you so much and I would give anything to have had things gone differently in your time with us. I still have not cleaned Bug's table where you ate and where we now keep your ashes and some of your toys. Your brother Bear keeps taking your sparkle ball that you loved, which has no more sparkles. I think back of you and Gracie, our blind and part deaf cat together. You were her only real friend in the house and I feel bad for her and for you that you do not get to be with each other, Nicole always called the two of you "Country Mouse" and "City Mouse", with you being the City Mouse and Gracie being our slightly over weight Country Mouse.

3/21/12 Bug, tomorrow will be 11 weeks since you went away. It seems the longer you have been gone the more I miss you and the sadder I become. The last few days have been so sad and my heart is so broken. I have been told more by Nicole about your necropsy results as she has researched them and it appears there was a lot more wrong with your organs then just your pancreas. You had spleen problems and it was like you were a house of cards waiting to go and I should try to be happy about the time we had with you. It is stange that such a sick cat purred and played up until a few days before you passed. Once again, I love you and miss you so much.

3/29/12 My little Bug, it is now 12 weeks ago that your beautiful little soul was taken from us. I sit here writing to you again with tears in my eyes. I look at your pictures everyday and watch our videos, which we have way too few and try to focus on your time on earth with us. It just seems that how much I do focus on this I miss you so much and I would trade anything to have more time with you. I hope you are doing well at the Rainbow Bridge and that you are happy, pain free and that you know how much you are loved and missed.

4/5/12 Bug, 3 months, 13 weeks and 1/4 of a year ago today you left this world. As I type this message I am crying and there is a place in my heart and in this house that is so empty. The weather has turned to warm and the windows are open. Nicole was saying how this was your favorite time where you could sit in the window with the breeze and catch the flys, spiders etc. that come in the house. Your sister Daisy has started to come out of her shell and be more social and Gracie has also become happier the last few weeks and cuddles with Nicole and she actually purrs which she has never really done to any degree in the first three years of her life. This day is so sad and as has been the last 92 days. You were and are the most wonderful little kitty and we miss you every minute of every day. I love you my Bug.

4/17/12 Hi my little girl. I just was thinking of you and wanted to say how much I miss you and how you are in my thoughts and my heart everyday my Little Miss Bug....

4/24/12 Hi Miss Bug. I am sitting here in the middle of the night in Seven Springs PA on a work trip that my heart is not into. I am here thinking about you and how I wish you were home on the bed with Nicole and your brothers and sisters. Your sister Daisy did some things with her head when I petted her Sunday that made me totally think of you. She had never done that move with her head that I had seen and I was thinking it was a sign from you that you are okay and that we will see you and your beautiful spirit. I miss those big beautiful Bug eyes and your meow when you wanted food. We all miss you and love you my little girl.

5/7/12 Hey my girl, how are you doing at the Rainbow Bridge? It was 4 months on Saturday since your little body gave in to all your sickness. I had such a bad day coping with all the thoughts going through my head all day. I cried off and on all day and Saturday night I just really broke down. Nicole and I both have times when we doubt ourselves as to whether we should have seen more in what was going on in you and we should have gotten a second opinion. I wish I could have a do over on your time with us and it just breaks my heart not to have you at the house. I do know I will see you and we will be with you and your beautiful soul again, I just want to have you here with us now, my beloved Bug.

5/14/2012 Cutest kitten in the whole wild world it's bug.....bug.....Another week has passed and my heart aches as I think about you. I miss you so much and our house still feels empty without you here. I think back to that Friday we took you in to Dr. Simmons and how he said he wanted blood work but that he saw no iminent danger, maybe a couple of months down the road if we did not get you some weight on you. Six days later you left us and I am still dumbfounded. Dr. Simmons is supposed to be the best Vet in Salt Lake and supposedly the only board certified critical care vet. How did he get it so wrong. I must have been in denial as I really never thought you would not come back to us healthy as how could he be wrong? I wish I could have that week back and you could have stayed home and passed in your home and not a hospital. I feel we put you through so much during that week and now it adds to my broken heart. I hope you know we did what we did because we love you and we wanted you to live a long full life. I miss you my girl.

5/25/12 Good morning Bug. We have now been without you 20 weeks and one day. Slowly my pain is easing but my love for you does not. I miss you everyday and I would do anything to have you back here with us. I have had some dreams with you in them and you have told me you are okay. I pray that you are doing okay and your beautiful soul is okay. This house will never be the same without you and I love you so much my little girl.

6/5/2012 Hi there my beautiful little girl. Today is the 5 month mark since you left us. It feels like just yesterday when all this happened. We miss you so much. I went to visit your mom Luna on Sunday, she is getting so fat....but you had her nose and eyes and it was good to see her and see part of you. I still relive that final week every week and still question so many things and if I had one do over in my life it would be to have a full blood work done on you back when you first saw the vet for being small in the beginning of 2010. I look back and wonde why did I not but then I think about Dr. Lobb saying you were fine. I guess will never trust a Dr. again. Once again I hope your soul is doing well and that you are happy. I will be there to be with you someday and we can once again be united. I love you Bug.

6/13/12 Miss Bugster, 22 weeks today. I wanted to stop by and let you know we are thinking of you, miss you everyday and know that you will always be loved and in our hearts. I hope your little soul is doing well. I love you my little girl.

6/26/12 Hello my Bug, was sitting at my desk thinking about you and wanted to come by and say hi. We are approaching 6 months a week from Thursday and as the pain is less then it was months ago, I still miss you each and every day. I still want one do over in my life and it is to be able to go back a year ago and get full blood work done on you. It was one year ago this week we had you fixed and they did exploratory surgery to see if you were okay. The good old Dr. Lobb said you were good and healthy, just our mini cat. She was wrong and here we are now and you are not with us. I cannot change the past and I am once again I am sorry I did not know to do more. Nicole and I loved you and still do so much and we would do anything to have you with us. I miss you my little mini kitty, Bug.

7/5/12 Little girl; it is 6 months ago today that you left us. This is another sad anniversary and anohter sad Thursday. I so much wish you were here with us as we contemplate moving to Scottsdale. I know you and your brothers and sisters would love to have the sun spots around the house to lay in. I looked at your picture with Wilson and that really puts into context how small you were. Wilson is a small cat at 8 lbs and you we so much smaller. I know I sound like a broken record but if I had one do over in life I would have had you fully checked out sooner. You were spayed just over a year ago and all I heard was good things about you and I wish I have been more skeptical. I know you would be here with us if we had done things differently and I hate myself for allowing this to have happened but I loved you and will always love you with all my heart. I miss you everyday my beautiful little Bug with those eyes so full of life.

7/16/12 Hello Bugster, Another 11 days have passed since I last wrote to you. I cannot believe it has been 27.5 weeks since you left us. I still think about you all of the time and miss you so much as does Nicole. Every time we bring you up in our conversations we both start to cry. For such a little girl you sure made a big impact on us. I try to think about the good things and not relive that final week every week, but I think of every Monday as it is today as the day we took you in for your blood tests. We had to not feed you for 12 hours before and I can remember about 5:00 am you came up and to me and woke me and wanted food and I did not give you any. I did that because I was supposed to and now I look back that my poor little girl was hungry and what did I do, not feed you. I am so sorry, but I was trying to help and not make you go hungry. I hope you know all we ever did for you was what we thought was best to help you. Looking back, I wish you last week could have been so much easier instead of all the trips to the vet and them trying to do enemas on you and all of those strange people. I am so sorry if we did the wrong things but we love you and loved you so much and as always miss you so much and there is still this empty spot in my heart my little girl.

7/27/12 Hey there my Bug. 29 Weeks ago yesterday, how I miss you everyday. I just can't seem to get this emptiness to go away when I think of you. I hope your beautiful little soul is doing well. I have not had you come to any of my dreams in so long and I really wish you would come and tell me how you are doing. Your sister Daisy is doing really well and she has come a long way and she now comes to see me when I get home from work. She loves to get her back scratched. Bear has even started to become a little more social but he is still very sketchy most of the time. We all miss you so much and wish you were here with us as you were taken away so many years too soon. I love you and Nicole and I miss you everyday.

8/2/12 Good morning Bug. Another week is gone by and we are now up to 30 weeks ago today my little girl passed away. I want you to know that you are thought about everyday by Nicole and myself and we miss you. It seems like it has been a long time but then it seems like just yesterday. I know you are in a place without pain but we miss you and we feel pain everyday when we think about you not being here to spend time with us. We are thinkin of moving to Phoenix in the near future and could only imagine how you would love the sun spots to lay in there. I am sure it is warm where you are and once again, I love you and miss you everyday my Bug.

8/5/2012 Hi my Bug. It has now been 7 months today that our hearts were broken. I sit here in sadness writing to you once again. I wish you were sitting here with me and that I was trying to coax you into eating more as I did everytime I fed you. It was always almost a game to try to get you to eat. Moving the food bowl, opening a new can, flipping the food over. Anything to get you to eat more. As we found out when you don't digest and absorb the nutrients it just does not matter how much you eat. You were such a trooper to eat all that food and sometime you threw it up as you got so much food and you digestion was not working correctly. I know you know everything we did was because we loved you and wanted you to grow. I am sure you are now where you do not have to work through these problems and you are happy. I miss you my little girl.

8/9/12 Hey Miss Bug. Another Thursday and another week has gone by. Today is 31 weeks without you at our house. I miss you so much. I spent sometime looking at your picturs and videos we have of you and they are always so bittersweet. You were so full of life at times and always had the ability to take the best pictures. It makes me remember the good times but then it always takes me back to the fact you are not here. What a beautiful little kitty you were with those eyes and your super sized personality. I miss you everyday my little one. I love you my girl.

8/16/12 Hi there my Little Bug. Another sad Thursday is here. I cannot believe it has been 32 weeks since that sad sad day. I am so sorry that you are gone and I miss you every day. Your were the cutest toughest little girl. I want you to know that you are gone but you are in our thoughts all the time every day. I stll cry when I think about you and I have tears in my eyes as I type this. I wish for a do over everyday. Would you still be here if I had done things differently? I do not know but I know I question myself all the time. You had a short life but looking back you were a happy little girl most of the time and you purred and played up until the end and that makes me feel better but nothing has taken the guilt I feel away when I think about the signs I missed. I hope you are doing well where you are and once again I love you so much my little Bug.

8/23/12 Hi my little girl. It is Thrusday and once again another week has come and gone. I have had less sad days this last week but I think that is due to how busy I have been on some things. I had a bad day last Saturday with Nicole and she tries to tell me that we did the best we could with you and that we listened to the doctors. I know we did that but they were wrong and I should know better then to not get a second opinion. I know you do not blame us and I try to think of that when I fell guilt, but I just wish you were here with your brothers and sisters to enjoy life. I miss you and will see you again someday my beloved little Bug.

9/5/12 The Bugster......eight months today. What a sad day this is going to be. How I wish you were here and I could see you. I do not know how to say how sad I am that you are not with us physically even though I know your little soul is doing well. Nicole and I talked the other day that we have had three major deaths in the last year and how all three, you, Jaden and Chris who just died of cancer, were the most full of life of the people we know. I saw your mom Luna and sister Molly last weekend at Nicole's sisters house and Luna is getting so fat and Molly has turned into such a social girl. It is like looking at you when you look at Luna's nose and eyes and as good as it was to see her it just made me think about you being gone. I want you to know that time is making it so we can talk about the good times and your good life you had we still miss you everyday. I love you my Bugster.

9/12/12 36 weeks tomorrow my little girl. It still breaks my heart when I think back to the last week of your life and what you went through. It is good that we are more able to talk about you and miss you while thinking of the good part of your life. I still think about the things we missed but I also know when looking back at your pictures that you were given a really crappy hand in life. I don't know if it is selfish that I want you to be here and probably on medication and a strict diet but at least alive or is it better you are in a better place. I know when my time here is done I will see you and the emptiness I feel will go away. Until then you will live in my heart by little Bug......I love you my girl.

9/20/12 Miss Bug. It has been 37 weeks today. We had a really bad week at the house. Your brother Bear died last Friday night. We do not know what happened, I was watching tv on the bed and heard some ruckus under the bed which I thought was Bear and your sister Daisy. It just sounded louder and quick and I got up to look and Bear was under there dead. We took him to Utah State to have a necropsy to find out what happened and we are still waiting. We will be putting his ashes next to yours on my nighstand which is really Bug's table. It was so sudden and sad. The girls at Utah State remembered you when Nicole dropped Bear off and it just seems so sad to lose 2 of the three kittens before 2 years old when you were all indoor cats and should have lived very long lives. I know you now have your brother with you and I hope you are both doing okay. I miss you both and love you both.

9/27/12 Hi my Bug. 38 weeks yesterday. It has been a long week as we got the results of your brother Bear's necropsy. He had leukemia and had cancer in his bone marrow. He also had a tumer in his chest along with heart issues. We were worried and had to take all of the kids in for testing. I was most worried about your sister Daisy as she is the only sibling of yours from you mom Luna who is still with us and at just under two years that is so sad. Everyone came back negative and that was what we expected as you all were tested as kittens, but with Bear being sick who was tested we were worried. I hope you and Bear are together and doing well. We were lucky that he went like he did which they believe was heart failure due to his heart problems along with the cancer adding to this. I know and him are there waiting for the rest of us to come be with you some day. My little Bug, I still miss you so much all the time and as time heals I wish could have a few minutes with you to pet you and tell you how much I love you my little girl.

10/05/12 My beloved little Miss Bug. Today is 9 months from the saddest day of my life. You left us January 5th and not a day goes by that I am not filled with sadness when I think of you. The crying is less but still happens on an ongoing basis. My memories are slowing shifting from the bad last week to your good days and that pissed off look you would get sometimes while sitting on the back of the King Chair. That spot seems to be one of your sister Daisy's favorite places. I miss you so much as you were the little joy of my life. Your big heart and little body were always something that made the person my wife calls grumpy pants happy. Always trying to get you to eat more food was the challenge of the day. How you loved your fancy feast Turkey and Giblets and how some days I would go through several cans to get you to eat one to two..anything to get you to eat more. How you had to eat twice what a normal cat ate to even start to maintain was so wrong and you were so given a bad hand. I hope you and Bear are together and we miss both of you but you will always be the little girl who stole my heart. I love you and miss you everyday.

10/16/2012 Hi my little Bug girl. Another 11 days have gone by and I wanted to let you know we have gone to the shelter to rescue another kitty. We went on Saturday and looked at so many kitties. It was so sad to see so many without a place to live and how starved many were for attention. We made a decision on Sunday to adopt a little 6 month old boy. He is apricot colored like you and he came over and climbed my leg and just said take me home and please get me out of here. He does have your color but not your eyes, but I am sure the way he looks was part of why I was so attracted to him. We brought him home yestrday and he is in one of the bedrooms and is being brought in at a very slow pace. He is a little bundle of energy and has a big heart. He will never replace you as no one ever will but I think after losing you and Bear we needed to go and get a nice cat from the shelter. I hope you and Bear are doing well together and we miss you everyday so much and we love you.

10/29/12 Miss Bug. We have brought home our little terror we call Parker. He has your color and Wilson's face. He had to go to the veternarian on the way home as he was very sneezy and it turned out to be cold with a secondary infection that we gave him pill for to help get him healthy. He took about a week to integrate into the house and he now is out with your brothers and sisters. He is a handfull to put it mildly. He wants to play with everyone and they are a little unsure about him and it has caused some friction. I think it is getting better but he is wild. He also wants everyone's food including the people food. We are working on teaching him manners and class as we want him to be as classy as you were. We are now just over 10 weeks from it being one year since you left and I still miss you so much. It has been such a bad year and we had to take Wilson to the AVC place where you passed last week as he swallowed a piece of plastic and it made him sick. He finally crapped it out and now he seems to be getting better. It was scary to see him so sick as we did not know what was wrong and all I thought was we cannot lose another cat as you and Bear were more then I can take in one year. I want you to know how much we love and miss you my little girl.

11/05/2012 My little Bug. It has been another month today since you left us. It his hard to believe that it has been 10 months. I have to say my heart is still broken and I miss you everyday. This month seems to have gone by so fast, I think with my knee surgeries and Nicole's surgery along with Wilson going to ICU and Allie getting sick, plus the addition of Parker into the house I have been overwhelmed with all that is going on. I see Parker and I see your body and Wilson's face. He has those Wilson eyes and he is slowly fitting in the house. He is learning his spot in the heierarchy of the house. Your sister Daisy does not like him and she is so much bigger we are watching as she could hurt him if she gets him cornered but so far so good. I think he will be bigger then Daisy in time but right now at 7 months he is only 7 pounds and Daisy is at 13. How I wish you were still with us as you and her got along so well and the picture of the two of you on the ottoman below is so cute. I hope you are doing well with Bear and I will continue to miss you each day until we meet again my girl.

11/14/12 Hi Little Miss Bug. Another week has gone by and it has been another stressful one at home. Your sister Gracie got sick and we had to take her to the vet. It is so hard to take her in with her being blind and she gets so scared when she leaves the house. She was just so listless and not eating that we had to take her in. It turned out she had a urinary infection and once we got her some medication she has bounce back quickly. She is eating like our Gracie again; so much food.....there goes the diet. I think back on how you were pretty much her only friend as no one else wants to get to close to her as she gets scared and that scares the other cats. You always had no fear from her and loved to rub against her and fluff your tail in her face. I know she missed you when you passed and now she bonds with Nicole. She spends most nights sleeping in Nicole's arms and it is good to see her happy. I know we all wish you were here to enjoy Gracie and be loved by us. I hope you and Bear are still doing well and we miss you everyday my beautiful little girl.

11/28/12 Hi my girl. I have not been here to visit you in a couple of weeks and I am sorry. It has been crazy at home with the Parker and we seem to be having a sickness going around the house. Gracie has been sick off and on and Wilson and Daisy are still coughing. Mr.Parker is a terror and we do not know what to do as he keeps chasing the other cats and he wants to jump on them and bite them. He has your color but not your easy going and loving personality. I canot believe how fast this year has gone by and that you have been gone so long. It still breaks my heart that you are gone and we do not get to have the joy of you being with us all the time. I know you are with Bear and having your brother with you hopefully gives you someone to hang with. We will all be with you someday and that gives me something to look forward to. I love you and miss you my little Bug.

12/5/12 My beloved little Bug. 11 months ago today; another month and I miss you as much today as I did 11 months ago. I do find I am crying less when I think of you but the tears still come as they are as I am typing this. I miss your beautiful eyes and the look you would give when you were annoyed. I miss you fluffing your tail in Gracie's face and I miss getting up in the middle of the night to sit with you while you ate. I just miss everything about you and the joy you gave this grumpy old man when you were with us. You were such a joy to be around and such a great spirit. I miss you everyday and pray that you are doing well at the Rainbow Bridge with you brother Bear. I love you my Little Miss Bug. Pop

12/17/12 Miss Bug. How are you? This is one of those days I am not sure what to say, but I was thinking of you and wanted to say hi. It is 8 days until Christmas and 22 days until the one year mark of your passing. It seems like it was just yesterday. We miss you so much and Parker our shelter kitty who is your color has taken over. He is so opposite you as he wants to eat 24-7 and he is most likely going to be the biggest cat in the house. Suri hisses at him everytime she sees him like she did you. The only difference is he jumps on her and wants to play and our little Princess Suri is not happy. This Christmas will not be the same without you. I know you will be there in spirit. I can remember last year hurrying home from Nicole's parents house to make sure you were eating. I never even thought at that time you were so sick. It breaks my heart that we did not know and I am so sorry as I have said so many times. If I had one do over in my life it would be to have been more proactive on your health. I miss you and love you my little girl. Dad.

12/25/12 Merry Christmas My Bug. I know you are not here physically but you are here with us in spirit. A year ago I remember we went to Nicole's parents and were careful not to stay long as we needed to get home to feed you. Who knew that you were going to pass away 11 days later. We had no idea you were so sick. It breaks my heart that you were not able to tell us how bad you felt and that we did not know. You even purred on the way to the AVC for your first visit and who would have thought what happened would. It has been the worst year of my life and my heart is broken. I miss you so much. As I am writing Suri is rubbing against me and she was your big nemesis. How I wish you were here for her to hiss at. You are here in spirit and you are in my always in my heart. I love you.

1/5/2013 My Little Bug. Today is the one year mark of the worst day of my life. You left us at 5:00 one year ago. As Nicole and I have gone through the last week reliving each day a year ago. It is hard to believe that as I sit here at 7:00 AM that on this day a year ago at 7:00 AM I was 100% sure you were coming home and all was going to be okay. I had talked to the nurse at AVC at 4:00 AM and she said you were stable and they were waiting for Dr. Simmons to come in to check you out. I was either misled or completely in denial. Even at 9:30 when I talked to Dr. Simmons he was pretty positive. How this all could have gone so bad so fast is still a mystery to me. We have missed you so much over the last year and I still cry quite a bit as I am right now as I type this. You were such a bright spot in my life and gave me so much joy. I know you are in a better place as you were so sick. I hope you and Bear are doing well together and I know our day will come to be together. I miss you everyday and you will always live on in mine and Nicole's hearts. We love you more then words can say. Dad.

1/17/2013 Hi My Girl, 54 weeks today. I miss you so much. Last night I watched my two little videos with you in them. You were the cutest kitten and in the one when you were older you had the most beautiful eyes. When I watch the kitten one you were so happy and full of life as you played with you spakle ball and tripped over yourself and did a summer salt. In the other video your eyes were so bright and beautiful but looking at it I think you were not feeling well. You did a little meow but you were not your peppy self you were at other times. It could have been you were just waking up as the main part of the video was of Gracie playing and you were watching while sitting in front of the heater vent. Words cannot describe how much I miss you and how broken my heart still is. 54 months and I still cry for you most everyday. You were my little girl and your spirit lives on in my heart by Little Bug.

1/31/13 Hey my beautiful little girl. 56 weeks today since you left our home but not our hearts. It is hard to believe how much it still hurts in my heart when I think about you. You were one of the brighest spots in my life and our time here was way too short. If there has been any good in this, I have such a bigger heart for helping other cats and we continue to donate to shelters and we donated on your name to the Pocatello shelter for Christmas. I have changed a lot in how I look at the world since you left us and that is the only good thing I can come up with. I still miss you and refuse to let Nicole clean Bug's table. How many nights I sat there with you trying to get you to eat and trying to do anything to get a few more bites in you. You were such a tough little girl and you will always be the kitty that made me a better person. I love you and miss you my Little Miss Bug.....

2/5/13 My liile Bug. 13 months have come and gone since your passing and as time passes I cry less but love you more. I do not have words that can relate to how sad my heart has been since you left. My girl, you were so amazing and you were such a tough girl to have gone through all you did. I still think about what could have been if we had acted sooner and would you still be with us. Your sister Daisy is still doing well and Nicole was visiting her sister last week and saw your mom Luna and sister Molly. Both are doing well and Nicole commented on how you had Luna's eyes and how we both miss those beautiful eyes. I watched you video last night and saw those big eyes and you looks so small and frail but still looked full of life. I have to stop questioning this as I know God had a reason for you leaving and I will be with you again in time my little beautiful girl. I love you.

2/14/13 Happy Valentines day Bug. To the girl who stole my heart and broke my heart. It has now been 58 weeks and it is also Valentines day. It is amazing what one little kitty did to change a person. I have been heart broken for the last 58 weeks but I have also done more to help other cats then I had ever done in the past. If there is any good from your passing we now help others and donate to them to help other cats find homes and get medical help. I miss you everyday but I also thank you for making me a better person. I love you my little girl.

2/26/13 Hi My Bug. It has been a rough couple of weeks since I last wrote to you. Allie fell and hurt her leg and went to the vet. She has arthritis pretty bad and will be on joint pills to help her. She is now learning to use stairs to get on the bed and her chair. She is getting old and she cannot move as well as she used to. Wilson got a respitory infection and was on medication and he looked so sad and was mouth breathing but he is better now. Gracie has had some seizures and she went to the hospital last Saturday. She had blood work and an MRI. She has liquid on her brain and it is causing pressure on her head, causing the seizures. The doctors think she was born this was and that would explain why her eyes look normal but she cannot see. That part of her brain never developed. She is going on to a couple of medications that she will have to be on for life to try to remove some of the fluid on her brain. The Dr. says she has a good long term prognosis and we pray she gets better and lives a long full life. I do not know why you and her hit it off so well, but maybe you were both given a bad hand in life and bonded. All of this has taken my mind off of you some, but that does not mean I do not miss you each day and that you are not always in my heart. I hope you are doing well and that it is a long time until you and Bear have any other of the kids come to be with you. I love you my little Bug.

3/5/13 My beautiful liitle Bug. Another month has passed and this may be the month my mind has been less on you with all of the problems with the other kids. Gracie had to go to the ER on Sunday night due to constipation and it was so sad as they had to sedate her to give her an enima. She seems better now but we are still working through the seizures and she is adapting to her new medication. Wilson was sick and Allie fell and her arthritis is making life hard on her. It was such a tough month and hopefully we are over the hump and all the kids will do good now. I still miss you everyday and I looked at some of the pictures Nicole took with her Iphone and you looks so happy in some of them and that is how I try to remember you. I know you are doing good and that your spirit is free. I just miss you and I know that someday I will see you again and then we will be together forever. I love you and miss you my Bug.

3/18/13 Miss Bug. A couple more weeks have come and gone and the saga of our poor Gracie continues. She had another seizure last night and the doctor is putting her on two more meds for awhile. She is now going to be taking 4 medications twice a day. She is not going to like this but we need to keep her from more of these. She has continued to keep my mind off of you but even though you are not always in my thoughs as I worry about Gracie you are missed everyday and last night I sat with your urn and thouht about how sad it is that all I have is your ashes. Your energy and your love for Gracie was something that Gracie really liked and you are still the only cat that I can remember her cleaning and have those pictures which are so fun to see. I hope you are doing well and we are doing our best to keep Gracie here and not let her come and see you for many many years as we need her with us. I love you my Bug.

4/5/13 My dearest little Bug. We are now 15 months to the day and actually the minute that you passed away and broke my heart. It is hard to believe you now have been gone as long as you lived and you have been gone longer then you were in our house with us. I still think how one beautiful little girl changed this grumpy guy. I have never been the same since you left and I have changed for the better in how I live and we now work hard to help other cats in need. Your sister Gracie has been very sick and her brain seizures have stopped but the phenobarbital they have her on plus the other 3 meds have made her so tired and uncoordinated it has been so sad to see. We are backing the pheno off now trying to get a mix of her being seizure free but have a quality of life. It has been so hard to watch. I am doing all I can as I do not want her to come see you for years and years as she makes me happy to see her when she is happy. I know you are here with us as one of your songs appeared in my head when I was with her last Saturday and she was not doing well. It made me happy to know that you are with your sister Gracie as you and her were close and the pictures of her cleaning you are the best. You are the only cat she ever cleaned and really bonded with. I wish the two of you were here together but I want you to wait to see her again as I love her and want her to be here with us. I will keep you updated even though I know you are here with her. Miss Bug, I love you and miss you everyday. Dad.

4/24/13 Hi my Bug. I am writing today to say how much I still miss you and how we miss you at the house. We are now planning on moving to Phoenix at the end of summer and I know you would have loved to have all of the sun spots to lay in. Your brothers and sisters are in for a big treat. Gracie has been struggling a bit and spent another day in the ER. She has had a lot of trouble going to the bathroom with all of her meds. We switched her to Miralax last weekend and it seems to be doing the trick at this point. I hope this works as she seems to be okay with the phenobarbital and is doing much better. No seizures in 6.5 weeks. It breaks my heart to see her struggle at times but I think she is now doing better. I know she will someday be with you as we all will but I need her with us as long as possible as she is such a great girl and such a fighter. I loved the way the two of you interacted and she was your best friend. Once again my little Bug; I miss you everday and still have my days I cry when I think about you and how much I love you my Bug.

5/5/13 Hi my beautiful little Bug. We are up to 16 months and not a day goes by that I do not miss you and think about you. I still have my days I cry and then I do have my days when I can think about what a beautiful little girl and soul you were and the good things you did to me. I have been a very different person since you passed and I hope a better person. You were a once in a lifetime kitty and you are so missed and loved by myself and Nicole. On another note, your sister Gracie had another seizure on Friday and we took her to the vet yesterday. They are doing blood work and we will see what we have to do to try and stop them. She is such a fighter and we need her to stay here with us for many more years before she comes to see you. I hope you are doing well and the day will come when we are all together. I miss you and love you my little Bug.

6/5/13 Hello my gorgeous litte Bug. Another month has come and gone and we still miss you so much. Let me give you an update on your brothers and sisters. Gracie is on a higher level of phenobarbital for her seizures as she had anohter one 3.5 weeks ago and they upped her dose. She seems more tired but no more seizures so far. I hope this works for her as she is not ready to come to the Rainbow Bridge with you. Suri is going in for teeth cleaning today and she is not going to be happy. I was looking at pictures of you last night on my cell phone and Parker looks so much like you in some shots but such a different cat. You were one in a billion and my heart breaks that you are not here with us and going to be able to move to Phoenix and get all the sun spots. I know you are in a better place but selfish me wants you here with me. I love you so much and miss you my little girl.

6/13/13 Little Bug. Just sitting here at my desk at work and was looking at your picture on my screen saver. It made me want to write and say hi to you. It has been such a long time since you left and it has been longer since you left then the time you were with us at the house. I do miss you so much and I wish I had treasured the time with you more. I think we think that a kitten will be around for many years but nothing is certain as you taught me. Your sister Gracie who has so many problems gets the attention that you should have had, not that you did not get a lot of attention. Gracie is on her meds but you never know. I hope we get 10 plus years more with her but we treasure every day with her as we did with you but at a different level. I do know that my heart still hurts when I think about you but I do believe I will see you again. I do love and miss you so much Miss Bug.

7/6/13 Miss Bug. Yesterday was 1 and 1/2 years since you left us. It was a sad day and we miss you so much. It has been such a rocky time here with Gracie and her seizures. She had two in a one week span last week and it is scary that she is so sick. We are also getting ready to list the house for sale and the time to get it done is getting short. I hope you are doing well and that your beautiful little soul is happy. It is hard to believe how fast the time has gone by and that you have been gone so long. I want you to know that you are loved and missed by us.

8/5/13 Hey there my Little Girl. Another month....wow time flies when you are having so much fun. I will give you and update on how things are. Gracie has had one seizure since the last time I wrote and seems to be doing pretty good. She is eating normal and some of her temper has come back. It is good to see her not so drugged out. We sold our house and in 17 days I am moving the furniture to Phoenix and then on Saturday the 24th we are moving the cats. They are going to love the land of the sun. I so wish you were coming with us. There will be sun spots for all and I am sure the kids will love it. I miss you my Bug. I still have those days I cry but most of the time I just try to remember what a beautiful girl you were and what a great soul you had. I hope you are doing well and the day will come when I get to see you my little girl.

9/5/13 Hello my Bug....20 months today. I still miss you so much. We made the move to Phoenix AZ and your brothers and sisters had quite the trip. 14 hours in a 38 foot RV. What a drive. How I wish you were physically with us at the new house. Everyone seems to have settled in and are doing okay. Gracie had one quick seizure since the trip but she seems to be doing pretty well overall. She had a very tough time on the drive and the first night. We found all of your hospital records from that terrible last week you were with us when unpacking last weekend. It was so sad to see all the tests and work you went through and I wish I had not put your through it but I was trying to keep you alive. We alos found your necropsy report and all the things wrong with you were amazing. How you live 15 months is truly hard to believe. How I wish things had been different and you would be here with us. I truly miss you more then words can say and I once again, hope your beautiful little soul is doing well. Pop.

10/07/13 Miss Bugster....I am two days late in writing you. I am sorry; so much going on with the move to Phoenix and trying to get things going. That is no excuse as you are more important then any of that. We are at 21 months and I am so sad at times when I think about you. I sang a couple of lines of Boney Maroni Saturday night and Nicole told me to stop as it is too sad since I sang that song to you before I knew you were so sick. We just thought you were small and skinny. Nicole used to say you were thin because you were a super model. We have settled in more and are trying to find a house to buy. The cats love the sun in the bedroom but it is so much hotter they stay in the sun for less time. I wish you were here and could be with us. Allie is sick and we are waiting to get results of her blood test to see how bad she is. I hope she is going to be okay. Gracie is going to a Neurologist this Friday and hope we can find a way to slow down her seizures. I just want all of the kids healthy and happy and that you have to wait many many years to see them. My Bud you are so loved and missed by us. I love you Bug.

11/5/13 Miss Bug, another month has come and gone. It has been a long difficult one. We have been working to close on our house in Cave Creek and I am losing my job. The stress has been high and the fun low. A lot of travel for work and a lot of crap trying to close the loan. I should be hearing soon when the Farm will be sold and I can start a new job. We hope to close on the house in 3 days. I so wish you were hear with us to enjoy the Phoenix weather. Your brothers and sisters are so happy with the sun and the time out in the back yard to soak up the sun. The new house has a wash behind it with lots of wildlife, including a big horn owl and a bob cat. We are going to have to build a cat condo for the kids to stay out in and avoid danger. I am sure they will love it when it is done. Bug, I think about you a lot and still cry for you. You changed me so much for the better and if there is any silver lining to your life that is it. I so miss you and your beautiful eyes and incredible personality. I hope your soul is doing well and as I always say, we will be together again someday and I love you more then words can say.

12/8/13 My Beautiful Little Miss Bug. I just need to say that I miss you so much. It has been almost two years and I still cry at times over you. You were such a beautiful little girl and to not have you here breaks my heart. I do know that I will see you again but I miss you in the moment. We have moved into our new house and your brothers and sisters are doing great. We are going to start building them an outdoor house to stay in and enjoy the sun and not have to worry about the wildlife. I so wish you were here to enjoy it. I know you are in a better place with all your problems but you are my little girl as is Gracie and I wish the two of you were both here and not just Gracie. Christmas is coming and I wish you a very merry Christmas. Dad.

12/25/13 Merry Christmas my Little Miss Bug. This is our first Christmas in the new house and our 2nd since we lost you. I miss you so much. How I wish you were here with us. It is good that all of the kids from last year are still with us. Gracie has lost weight and Allie is not doing well. She seems happy but we know she is sick and there is nothing we can do. I know you and Bear are celebrating together and the day will come when we call get to spend our Christmas's together. I love you my little girl.

1/5/14 Miss Bug, It has been two years today since your little body gave out. It is hard to believe it has been so long. I am still so heart broken. You gave me so much happiness when you were here and you made me into a better person. I know you are in a better place and that we will be together again someday but there is still a hole in my heart. To know you are not sick and suffering is the upside; that I cannot pet you or have you sleeping on the bed next to me is the downside. I hope you and Jaden along with your brother Bear are all doing well. On this sad day I want you to know how much I love you and miss you.

2/5/14 Hey my little girl. Another month has come and gone; feels like it went so fast. It has been so busy with everything going on with me leaving my job and going to consulting. I hope you are doing well. It has been a tough month with Allie being very sick and having to spend time in the hospital. She still has to have all of her teeth pulled and she has blood problems. Our peach colored cat Parker had urinary problems and had to be on drugs. He seems to be back to his old strange duck self. How I wish you were with us to enjoy Arizona. You are and always will be cutest kitten in the whole world and I miss you so. I love you Bug.

3/5/14 Good morning my beautiful little miss Bug. Another month has come and gone. We are now facing a crisis with Allie. She has been in the hospital for 6 days now. We had her teeth removed and that has fixed her infection and gotten her to have blood platelettes. Now she has developed kidney problems and is very listless. We are all praying for her here as we go through this. I hope to see her improve, come home and have several years of life with us left before she comes to see you. I hope you are doing well and that you and Bear are good. I miss you and wish I could have just one day to have you with us to have your spirit here. We love you and miss you my girl.

4/5/14 My Bug, Allie has come to the Rainbow Bridge to be with you. I write this with such sadness. She was such a nice girl and we now have to wonder did we make the wrong decision as we may have with you. We tried to do the right thing and extend her life; instead we took the few months she may have had. I do not know if she was in pain but it breaks my heart that she pretty much bled to death. She died in Nicole's arms and was so loved just like you. I hope the two of you and Bear are doing well. We love and miss all of you everyday.

5/5/14 Miss Bug, Another month has come and gone. We have adopted another kitty. We have mynx who is 14 and a cancer survivor. She is such a unique cat. Looks like baboon and meows like she smoke pall malls. She is nice girl and has had a rough life. She is not the rest of the cats favorite. We do love her and she will live out the rest of her life with us. It is sad to see you, Bear and Allie's ashes on the wall. I so wish you were still here as I think your sister Daisy misses you and needs a friend. I know I miss you so much my beautiful little girl.

7/7/14 Bug, 2.5 years ago the world lost the most wonderful little girl. Time has healed my heart some but you are still the most amazing little kitty I have ever known. The way you changed the grumpy old guy is amazing. I spend so much time and energy helping other cats and trying to give them better lives. I could not help you but I tried and I see the same with what we do now. To see some get better is such a good thing and others go through the same ending you did. I wish I could save them all but most I wish I could have saved you. You are one in a billion my little miss Bug. I love you and miss you. I hope you are happy at the Rainbow Bridge.

9/15/14 Little Bug. Just reading a story on Facebook of an orange kitty being put to sleep tomorrow. It breaks my heart and brings back memories of you. That day will always be one of the worst in my life. I miss you so much. On a brighter note, little Loki has made it to AZ from Brooklyn NY. He is so cute and was to be put down. He had a nice flight and I had a very long day. Bug, you made me into such a better person and you have helped me help many others. Bug I love you more then life my beautiful little girl.

10/10/14 Hi my Bug. Another friend lost two kittens at 7 weeks. Brother and sister. So sad. We talked about you and I sent her your necropsy. It was so sad. How can such a beautiful little girl have been so sick. I miss you my girl. Your sister Daisy is been a handful with Loki and I hope they can get along better. Miss you and love you My Bugster.

11/11/14 My Little Girl. Another month has come and gone. Loki has been trying to be Graice's friend. It is a slight City Mouse Country Mouse kind of situation. Nothing like you and her. She loved you so much and you two were so great together. Loki does go and lay and sleep next to Gracie but he is a little wild boy and he scares her at times. It is good to see one of our kids hanging near her. I so wish you were here to be with her. It is so hard to believe you have been gone almost three years. You are still the "Cutest Cat in the Whole Wide World" and I love you and miss you my girl.

1/5/15 Little Bug. Another year has come and gone. It was 3 years ago today that was the worst day of my life. You may not be with us physically but you are always here in spirit and in my heart. I can still cry after 3 years as you stole my heart and when you left there was a hole created. We have gone through a lot this year with losing Allie and adding Mynx our cancer survivor and Loki who is such a joy. Your country mouse Gracie is with us and doing okay. She has had some rough days in the last month but she seems better now. I hope you are doing well in your world and that you are happy and pain free. I know you know how much you were and are loved. You were and are "the cutest kitten in the whole wide world" and I love you more than words can say. Dad.

05/05/15 Hi My Bug, 4 months since I last wrote. 40 months ago today you left us in physical presence but you are in our hearts. I want you to know that you are the little girl who changed me forever. I have tried to do as much good as I can to help others in your name. I love you so much and miss you so much. Cutes kitten in the whole wide world.....Miss Bug.

10/5/15 Another 5 months since I have written. So much has happenned and no room to write. Our little Mynx is sick and has sometime left but how much we do not know. We have moved to Calif and now live in Fresno. Suri loves it here and her allergies seem so much better. It was 3 yrs 9 months ago you left us today. I miss you my beautiful little girl. I wish you were with us to spend time with you. I will see you again someday my little Bug. I love you and miss you.

01/05/16 Anonther year my little Bug. I still miss you more than words can say. You were the most incredible little girl and gave me so much happiness. It has been a year with loss. We lost our Mynx "Nugget" in October to kidney failure. She was such a nice girl and we miss her and her unique meow. Your sister Daisy is with us still and has been off and very aloof lately. I hope she is okay. She really loves to snuggle up to Nicole but is scared of the other cats and of me at times. We have moved again to California and the cats seem to like it here. It is very hard to think about how today played out 4 years ago. You deserved so much better and I wish I could have done more for you. I know you are pain free and in a better place and that the day will come when I get to see you and the rest of my family and our other kids. I truly love you more than words can say and miss you always.

04/26/16 Not an anniversay date but I am here thinking of you and miss you my beautiful little girl.

7/6/16 I am out of room. Love you my Bug. 4.5 years and you are so loved and missed.

9/26/16 Miss you my girl.

01/05/17 No room left. Love you so much. Cried a lot today. Pop.

01/05/18. 6 Years my little girl. Miss you. Love you. Still crying. Pop.

08/28/18. Miss you. Love you my Bug.

01/05/19 Another year. I love you my girl.

01/05/20 Another year has passed. Miss you my little Bug. You were one of the brightest spots in my life.

01/05/21 9 years ago today you broke my heat

Ten years. Crying.

1/5/23 11 Years. Miss you. I lost Daisy in 2022; all your siblings are gone. So sad.

1/5/24 12 Years my Bug. I love you. Will see you someday. Suri is only cat left from Idaho. Hope to get more years from her. She has bad heart. Love you