This is a story of a sweet stray who came to me a month ago, when I had just moved across the country to Pennsylvania with my husband. I know no one here, have no job waiting, no family nearby.
I saw Grayface the first time, so long and lean, on our deck. His yowling was impressive, and with my heart touched, I caved and put some food out for him. I figured, feral, no touch..but it seems that Grayface had some experience with people before, and it wasn't long til he was feeling comfy enough to beg for pets and hugs, and quite a few times, to stroll right into our house!! We rent, and I have two sweet fuzzy buttmonkeys already; not knowing Gray's status, I could not let him in.
He came by pretty frequently, and I had already put in motion the plan to take him to the clinic, get him neutered, tested, and vaccinated, and make him our "outdoor" pet (that was for the landlords sake; he was to move up in the world and join us if he was free of contagious diseases) when tragedy struck.
Yesterday morning, I saw our two indoor kitties staring intently out the window as they do when animals pass by. I peeked, hoping it might be you, and it was...but your face looked wrong somehow. Then you turned, and started to walk away...but you were not using your left hind leg at all....it was dangling there as you limped off. No blood that i could see, maybe you were hit by a car...I dashed outside with wet food in one hand and pouncies in the other, and called to you, but you ran away...I tried to follow you into the woods, but you went where I could not go, and I lost sight of you. I waited, all night, by the back door to see if you would come back, maybe you weren't that badly injured. Sick to my stomach because I knew deep down that you were probably suffering terribly, and out in those woods, you would be easy prey.
You did not come back. This morning I had to make peace with maybe never seeing you again, and I hoped that you did not suffer for too long. I left my house and drove off to run some errands, only to stop dead after turning onto the main street into town. You were there, on the side of the road. Stretched out and unmoving, a victim of yet another accident.
Gray, my guilt is fierce and I wish I could turn back time, and take you into our home sooner. I wish I had been able to follow you into the woods, and take you to the vet, and have you fixed up and healed and home safe with us. I thought that we might have some good times together in the winter; all the snow outside and us all warm and cozy by the fire; that is the life you deserved, and I wanted to give it to you.
Thank you for your welcome to this state; you were my first and finest friend here. My heart aches that I could not right the wrongs you suffered yesterday and today; I pray to God that you did not suffer too long, and that you are in Kitty Heaven, fat and happy, chasing mice and wandering the way you do, but safe forever more.
Only a month knowing you, and my tears are still falling with pain.
I will miss you