I lost my Babygirl on 9/25/11. No one seems to understand the pain that I am in. She was a Siamese cross breed. She was beautiful. She was my child, my best friend, the only person I came home to.She came into my life at a time I needed someone the most. She was so timid, when I first got her I spoiled her rotten. A few months later I took her to the vet and they said she was sick, I should put her to sleep. I got a second opinion and they said she could be fixed, but they did not expect her to live past 5 or 6. It was a struggle at times but she gave me 12 years before she had to go.
Sundays are hard, that is the day it happened, no one understands, they tell me to move on, get another one. I loved her more than I thought I could ever love someone. People do not understand. The Vet that put her to sleep sends them out to be cremated, I just got her ashes back today and the pain is unbearable. I thought it would help to have her home again, I never left her for more than a day. The thought that my beautiful baby is nothing more than ashes, that I will never hold her, tell her to give me kisses and her put her nose to mine hurts. I've spent most of the day crying, feeling guilty.
I stayed with her when they put her to sleep. I couldn't watch, I just loved on her and told her mommy loves you and I am so sorry. When they took her from me, her head feel back, I can't get that image out of my mind. Will the pain ever go away? Will I see my Babygirl again? I so need to believe that I will, to talk to someone that understands my pain and won't condemn me for the feelings I have.