It is with a broken heart that I have to write this email to everyone this morning. Last Thursday, as I was out at a concert and Dave was at his brother's visiting with his niece who was in from out of town, apparently, one of my cats, Chelsea, the half grey, half white one (my "middle child") was killed in the backyard by the dogs. It is clear it was a tragic accident judging from the condition of her body (won't go into detail) and we think that the boxers thought she was a "toy" and killed her "playing" with her. It is also tragic in that it was me who left the master bedroom window open with out a screen. I think it was that window she jumped out (and we didn't notice) before we closed up for the day. Naturally, my heart is broken in a million pieces and so is Dave's. This was, clearly, Dave's favorite cat.

Chelsea was 15 years old and I had had her all her life. In September, 1992, she came bounding up to me and my then boyfriend, Conrad, as we were getting ready to leave our condo to have dinner at his sister's house. She was tiny - probably about 3 pounds at the time with grey "wings" on her face which garnered her the nickname "Angel face" her entire life. At the time she arrived, I took her in for the night only to protect her from the cars in the neighborhood. I had no intention (believe it or not!) of keeping her, but I intended to find her a home. It was pretty clear she had climbed into our home and our hearts when we got home that night and found her curled up with Miles, in the recliner. She has had a special place in my heart ever since. The spot is now barren and empty.

Chelsea was a grey and white bi-color British shorthair and at 6 pounds, she was the smallest of my Feline Five. However, she was 6 pounds big, with a 100 pounds of personality. She talked, she was always the center of attention and if she wasn't she made sure somehow, she worked her way in. She was the first one at the door when you opened it and the last one at the door when you closed it. She told you what she thought, and frankly, while it sounds nuts, at times, I could actually have a conversation with her. She even changed her vocal tone depending on the point she was trying to make. If there was a human being awake and alive in the house, she was there with them. I don't think she slept unless we were sleeping too. Chelsea was hard pressed to miss a minute of the goings on in the house. Dave taught her to perform what we called "Parrot Kitty" where she would sit on his shoulder while he walked around the house for hours at a time if she could. I regret now that I never took a photo of a parrot kitty moment.

She was an indoor cat, with a strong desire for the outdoors. Since Chelsea was really bold and fearless, I have always been concerned that she would get out and be killed by something or someone, but I never imagined it would be in our own backyard like this. Dave found Chelsea Thursday night and I think it took everything in him to tell me that she had died, let alone how it happened and at whose "paws" it was at. I took her to the Cat Hospital Friday morning to have her cremated and sent to Bubbling Wells Pet Cemetery in Napa where she will be laid to rest with her siblings, Miles and Amber and her cousin, Stinky who died few weeks ago. My hope is one, if not all, of them will be there to greet her, although, if I know Chelsea, she will make friends fast and will quickly become the greeting party for Kitty Heaven.

We are both struggling now to forgive the dogs for what they have done. We are also struggling to forgive ourselves for being complacent when we had a cat with her nature to escape. Her loss truly has broken both of our hearts and the dynamics in the house have completely changed. We find it very hard to even talk to the dogs, let alone pet them or love them. However, in time, this too will pass.

When I think of Chelsea and her personality, I think of a print I was given years ago as a gift. The print hangs on the wall at our house. I don't read it often, because it causes me to cry every time, but I have read it enough to have parts of it memorized. The following part rings clearly in my ears as I say "goodbye" to Chelsea. The print is called "A Cat's Life" and if memory serves me, it ends something like this:

And when the time comes for us to part,
A day I know will break your heart,
Let me go to my final rest,
Knowing in your heart, you have done your best.
And think back to when we first met,
A day we both will not forget,
For to us both it was the most special day,
When you greeted me with "Hello little kitty, have you lost your way?"