TO Dusty, I should have done this years ago. July 6th was your 8 year anniversay fo the day you passed away. I have to tell you my love, Mommy is so sorry for the way she treated you that morning. I had woke up late & was in a terrible hurry to get to work. I know I yelled at you a few times to get out of my way, & I did not even say goodbye or that I love you when I stormed out the door in such a hurry. I have lived with that guilt in me heart for 8 years now. I am so sorry Dusty. You always had time, & unconditional love for me & I should have known something was wrong that morning, because all day I had a strange feeling that something was wrong. I should have paid more attention & slowed down that morning. After all I am your mommy & you needed me. When I came home from work that night & found you dead, I can't explain the pain, guilt, & anger I felt. I am so sorry my loving baby, I hope that you know just how much you were loved. I know I was not there when you needed me most, but not a day has gone by that I have not loved you & thought about you. I got your brother Koty only 5 days after you died, I hope you do not think that I was trying to replace you, because no one could ever hold a candle to you. Yes I love your brother very, very much, but I got him to make up for what I did to you. I made you a promise Dusty, that when I get Koty I would make up for the love I did not give to you the morning of your death. I will never make that mistake again. Everytime I leave the house even it it is to run to the store, I tell Koty that I love him & give him a rub before I leave. You just never know what may happen & I have learned to not take anyone's presence for granted again. I also know that Koty has a very special angel watching over him & Koty knows it too. I tell him all the time about you & how you are his angel. I know you are at rainbows bridge waiting for the day that we can be together again. I know when I get there I am going to hug you & hold you so close to me & never let you go again. And I promise you Dusty I will make up for the morning I left you all alone to die. I miss you so much. Your Birthday is tomorrow 8/18/2007 you would have been 18 & I know you never would have lived that long (at least healty, anyway) But happy Birthday my first beloved baby. Mommy & Daddy miss you & love you so much.

I am adding in the poem "A Dog's Prayer" because it touches my heart so deeply.

A Dog's Prayer (Author unknown)

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.

When it is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer use to bitter elements. I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth. Though you had no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land, for you are my God and I am your devoted worshiper.

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I would not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life should your life be in danger.

And, beloved master, should the great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me a merciful eternal rest - and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.....