I've seen her eyes glow with happiness and I've watched her grow as I did.
Nothing could have ever prepared me for Saturday, Decemver 14 2013. The day she died.
I remember her as a puppy, she was such a hyper-active little thing. We used to chase each other around our new home and she wasy best friend.
Mommy used to always joke about her being her best girl and I'd be jealous, but not for long. I could never stay for long.
Her furry coat was so long, dark and lucious and her eyes were like deep vats of chocolate.
We used to sit together by the fire on those long winter nights and I'd fall asleep.
To her, I was a pup but to me, she was my sister.
Twelve years past and she helped me through the worst year of my life. I'd come home and talk to her when no one else was listening. I'd tell her all the horrible things the girls in school did to me and I'd feel better about myself when she put her head on my lap.
I loved her with all my heart and she loved us all back.
She had little habits that defined her as her. She would be sure to chase the horses in our field as soon as she was let out in the mornings. She would follow my mom around the house and watch do every little thing, like she was setting every moment in her memory. She was such a picky eater that she would have to sniff new food before she ate it. Sometimes she even licked it but if she didn't like it, she wouldn't eat it.
Chocolate was the only thing she ever begged for and she was so well mannered, she barely ever barked inside and only growled when necessary.
One day, five years ago, she was kicked by a horse and damaged her lower spine. She couldn't wag her tail anymore. She developed arthiritus and soon had difficulties walking. She was put on a special food diet and temporary pain killers.
It was when the temporary fifty milligrams of pain killers became one hundred that we began to discuss it.
We knew it was coming, it had been for years. But I refused to accept it. It was only when the vet mentioned it that I finally realised, we had to let her go.
We spent two weeks loving and caring for her more than ever. I didn't have as much time as the rest and I'm ashamed and annoyed. Ashamed that I didn't spend more time with her when I could and annoyed at my exams for taking all my time.
That morning, December 14, I lay down beside her and stayed there for an hour. I watched my parents get ready for the day and I watched my brother play with the new puppy but I didn't leave her side, I couldn't.
When it finally happened, she went to sleep in two seconds. She slept more peacefully than she had done in years. She needed it.
So, my dear Sheelin, enjoy your Sweet Rest.