Diesel

9.22pm

Tucked up,
Lights out.
Cocooned hush.

Drifting
Between
Small talk,
Spasm
And nods.

Sudden, Sharp snap,
Bolt upright,
Jolted from sleep's
Early lures.

Tentative tapping,
On the
Front door.

Delicate bursts-
Three,
Four,
Two,
Five.

Spiky whispers,
Like a conspiracy,

Neighbours,
Uncertain tones,
Shrinking expressions.

"It's Diesel".

Hit
And
Run.

Bullets from a gun.

Door left gaping like a wound.

Laser line,
Connected -
A single breath
Carrying us
Over the
Threshold
To you.

There you lay,
As though you were basking
In the summer sun,
Dreaming amidst daisies
And tail flits.
Eyes as fields,
Full of
Whisker-twitch,
Trembling blades of
Grass.

Black pelt, ruffled,
Softer now.

Deep crimson
Blaze upon
Your cheek.

Stillness.

I lifted you,
Unfamiliar weight.

All sinew released,
No slink,
No poise.

Just
Freedom.

Shrouded in night's
Gem clustered
Cloak,
I take you
To rest.

Searching for a
Spot.

Thought levelling,

A clearing,
Of sorts.

There, Right between,
Badger sets
And dense thicket.
Ground pulling me
Closer.

Soil parting
Under numb
Shovel with
Moist-grit
Harshness.
Hollow rasps
Of sliced Earth
Clinging to
Every movement.

Digging to unknown
Depths.

Then,
Carefully laid,
I leave you to the
Moon's
Care.
Your breath,
The wind.

Pause,
Breathe,
Walk...

Turning back,
I hope to catch your
Spirited
Moth-swipe,
See you licking
A thumb in
Defiance.

Instead, the
Sag of
Shadows and
Silver birch
Cradling
The space
Above your forever.

I count the steps.
Back to the car.
Fracturing fractions,
Mapping a
Family's treasure...

X marks our shattered hearts.

1227 leadened steps..
Unforgettable data.
A secret code.

Within the hour,
Back home.

Children sleeping,
Wife waiting for
Alternate reality
Broadcast...
'It wasn't him'...

But it was.

I am mauled by the
Ravenous hunger of
Absence.

An abode frozen,
Scattered with
Redundant space.

In the cool of the kitchen,
The cat flap
Sits.
Muted,
It glares
through
The void into
Moonlight.

Gently
Quivered by
A low
Breeze,
It expectantly
Weighs the cost of love.

Personal maxim:
I always insist a
Home with children,
Needs pets.
It teaches them
How to process
Grief.

I realise...
The mask slips.

We. Are. All. Children.

RIP Diesel - We love you x