May 21, 2005 I believe was Skinny's birthday. She was born of Blackie, an alley cat, and had at least one sister who did not survive (found dead one day in back yard). But Skinny was always so skinny! Everyone said the first IN winter would be the end; but we fooled them all. I got her a heat pad for her shelter and made sure she had food and water when she needed it. Now she is gone, and in mid-summer at that~I found her on the front walk when I got back from the store, still alive but as soon as I picked her up I knew she was done for ... for she had never let me pick her up. So I brought her in and wiped her face with a damp cloth, and wet her mouth. She seemed dry but her weight was pretty good, as good as I can recall by seeing her. I held her for a bit but sensed she was uncomfortable so I made her a spot in back yard with her head propped up a little as she was having trouble breathing. And in not so very much time she had passed. I did not sit and watch but she did pass quietly and in the late afternoon beauty of the day. Bye small soul wherever you go.

Skinny is buried by the plum tree I put in this Spring which will henceforth be known as "Skinny's Tree." Bye little one, I know not where you have gone but hope you are with your Mom. Blackie been gone going on 2 yrs now. One November day she failed to come home and was never seen again. She used to be home by dinner each nite, and when cold wanted to sleep in my room, often would wake with her laying on top of me (keeping all other cats away that was Blackie). In case you wonder, I am a caretaker of the abandoned, the strays, the alley cats. I give of my time and my love for these animals. I feed them, Trap/Neuter/Return is the name of the game. The local org. nips off the end of left ear to mark as TNR is legal here and Animal Care and Control will not pick up cats in a legal colony. I provide medical care when they need it (if they can be caught, tho many have come to accept me enough that I can handle them not all).

I lose a couple of my 4-legged kids each year, but this year has been the worst. Well back to last Nov. when Halloween got confused in a thunderstorm and ran out in front of a car. The neighbor across street carried her home when he found her upon getting home. I think the poor baby was near-sighted. She was still warm ... I had went out before the storm looking but she must have been some distance away. Now her body rests beneath the honeysuckle. But in Feb. someone murdered her sister Paprika and I actually placed 6 of the tamest from the colony with an adoption program. I found her a breakfast time on porch and thought she was dead but she meowed when I moved her. Someone had sliced her open like field dressing or some horrid act. I called for ACC to come out and put her down but she passed before they arrived. It was a Sunday morning you see. Why would someone do that? She was such a gentle baby, too friendly for her own good. I tell you it is the truth that the people who torture and murder defenseless animals will move on to people later on, sociopath or psychopaths. Then about a month ago little half-grown kitty we had just got fixed back in March went missing. Her name was Midnight; My daughter beat it out of the neighborhood dark boys that they had thrown her over a fence to watch a pit bull eat her. Now, that is Mental Illness! If this is the next generation we are all in trouble for they will be of no damned account. And the nation's future will surely be in doubt...

Now this past week Momma Kat passed, but she was like 13 yrs old and it was natural as far as I know. She really wanted to go out at the end and I respected that. They will lay out in sun and then go crawl somewhere small and curl up and die. So I did not find her and that's ok. We knew she was leaving us soon her balance was going and she had almost no teeth etc. 13 is over a hundred lol in cat years. Then I find poor Skinny today, apparently natural think it was some type of chronic lung infection or disease in the end. She never was really healthy but was all that was left of Blackie in this world.

But I celebrate her life, she made it May 05 to now, over 4 yrs pretty good for a frail little one who was not supposed to make it the first winter. Maybe they all wait at the Rainbow Bridge? If so, there may be quite a crowd waiting for me ha ha. I have been bringing home orphan kitties since I was a kid tho not during my military years. I used to keep a record of each one that passed, but it got to be too damn sad. They have such short lives many do at least, and they do look up to the caretaker as some sort of Great Provider. I tell you this, God or Gods have their work cut out for them. For they must love each of their creations, and have grief at the passings, especially for the deserving ones. Imagine the sadness of the gods, watching as in an eyeblink their beloved creations are born, live, and die. I know I cry for each of my 4 legged kids when they go particularly those that die a violent end, but even the rest. I wont go in to all the new kitties, but for all who have passed there are replacements. I have 4 babies this kitten season and hope that some may be adopted into good homes. They are all beautiful to me. And some new adults who have "moved in." So it seems a more or less constant number ... those who I have come to call "The Baker's Dozen," who live on the east side of Indianapolis, IN. And strangest of all is "Buddy" who is the spitting image of an orange cat I had as a child who started it all when he got ran over one day. If cats can be reincarnated, this is the same cat, he loves to sleep on my lap as I often sleep in my recliner due to back trouble.

There, I am writing a book but wanted to catch up some as I have not posted since Pumba I dont think. I still miss him and have his picture on a framed copy of the Rainbow Bridge. He died on Thanksgiving Eve of 06 a victim of a stray dog. Pumba was the gentlest of cats I have ever seen who had a wonder for all that went on around him. He would catch flies to listen to them 'buzz' then let them go. I never had a cat like him. He only got 3 yrs on this earth that is sad. His sister Angel saw him dead and went crazy for months, she is still with us and better now tho she has a sadness about her esp. her eyes. I don't know why I care for all these cats but I love them almost like kids. I call them the 4 legged kids. Funny, I am an old heathen, Rainbow Bridge has a special significance for us being the way between this world, Midgard, and Asgard the home of the Asa gods. Heimdal stands watch there on the other side waiting for the signs of the Twilight of the gods, Ragnorak, when he will blow his horn to alert the Asa gods that the hoard of darkness approaches and the time of the great battle draws nigh.

But what of the cats? I do not know except they are sacred to Freya of the Vanir gods. Maybe their souls dwell in her great hall? or are they reincarnated as the Hindu say? All souls were created at the beginning of the universe and ever since have been reincarnated according to how they live each life, moving up and down. Those who commit the greatest evils are doomed to come back in places dark and cold perhaps as bacteria or some forsaken blind animal there without even having eyes. By their faith the goal is to reach a "oneness" with the gods tho whether that is a physical one is of great debate and divides schools of thought among the modern Hindus. But they believe that in the end the universe will be reborn again and that it is a cycle of birth and rebirth perhaps changing the rules a bit each time. They have a Trinity of the Godhead as that of Brahma the Creator, then there is Vishnu over the world, and at the end Shiva or the Destroyer. These 3 mark the 3 main divisions of Hindus.

But I digress. Tho in my heathen faith the world Midgard (earth) is destroyed and reborn after Ragnorak. So who knows? Life is the great mystery, and what comes after the Greater Mystery ... but today I seek to grieve for Skinny cat who was with me 4 years and a little bit. Now, Little Bit is another story lol, if she survives, a little orphan girl brought to me by someone in the 'hood. After all, I am the crazy cat dude.