I can't believe I left you go,
I can't believe I let them take you,
I can't believe this went so far,
But most of all,
I can't accept the fact that you're gone....

You were the sun and moon,
The stars and sky,
My heart and soul,
My best friend,

Now you're gone,
I let you go,
That was the hardest decision I've ever had to make,
Letting them take you,
Signing the white form,
Knowing I'd never see my baby again,
Knowing I could never hold you in my arms,
Knowing I could never again kiss you goodnight,
Knowing I'd lose my best friend.... My favorite friend,

What they did was most inhumane,
Seeing them put you under anesthesia,
Then shaving your neck to get to the blood vain,
But what was worse was seeing your blood flow endlessly....

Knowing I sent you to the UOM to find out what was wrong,
It breaks my heart to know you are in strangers hands and that they will crack your skull,
And that's just to find out what went wrong,

I can't stop crying,
Every second I think of you,
I can't get you off my mind,
I regret my decision even though it was best,
I regret it because I can't stand losing you babe,

Mom says I regret it because I had my heart set on you getting better again,

I came home from the vet and left you there,
In a box none the less,
I went to the barn and saw the other cats and terribly wished it would have been ANY of them but you!
Looking in there eyes and thinking this is too much, almost putting them all in the paper for free because I could not bare seeing them when I lost you;

I cannot stand this house,
I can't even face my room,
Every time I try to go in there I just look and start bawling again,
I look in my room to the spot you stayed,
I look at and empty bed,
You're no longer here to great me and say hello,
I miss you so much;

When we were at the vet I could here what he was trying to say,
As soon as he said the words my heart started to race,
The pounding was fierce,
My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't even breathe,

They said it was best,
They said you were not leading a happy or normal life,
You just kept nudging my hand and sticking your face on my arm,
I started to cry and he left the room,
You started to purr,
Don't you know that made it worse?

I knew you were getting worse,
You're eyes were going too,
But seeing you sit there nudging my hand and purring away,
I couldn't move,
You broke my heart,
That is losing you,

I wish you would have gotten better,
I wish it happened to anyone one else,
But it didn't,
It happened to you,

I told you all my secrets,
I told you all my dreams,
I told you all my thoughts and prayers,
And you whispered back to me,

You were my best friend,
Why'd you have to go?
You were my baby,
Why'd you have to go?

I held you in my hoddie as I sat in the chair,
I kissed you're head and Kept saying "I love you River, I love you, I'll see you on thee other side of paradise",

I miss you're robbin blue eyes,
You're sweet loving demeanor,
But most of all I miss you my friend,

You where my water and air,
How can I live without you?
I can't cope without you here,
I need you baby I need you,
Please be here,

What's hard is missing you,
But what's harder is knowing I can't see you again,

Here I am on my own but I'm torn into pieces,
I can't think straight,
I can't smile for anyone,
I feel like I'm choking,
My head is pounding,
An my eyes are swelling,

Why'd it have to be you?
Why'd you have to leave me?
Why'd you have to go?

Don't you know I can't live without you?

I miss everything about you,
I miss the way your tail would wag when I came into my room and you looked at me,
I miss the sparkle in your robin blue eyes as I held you in my arms,
I miss your purring,
I miss your irritated looks,
I even miss your trouble side,

I'd do anything to have you back,
But I can't rewind the past,
So I just hope cats go to heaven,
If they don't God BETTER make an exception for you!!

I hope they find out what was wrong,
But all I really want is you alive again,
The only time I can't feel this pain is when I fall asleep but when I wake up I feel it all again,
It hurts to remember,
No one will ever be like you....

All I want for Christmas is you......

God, didn't you know he was my angel?

I don't know what to do without you River my love,
I don't know how to stop crying,
I don't know how to live without you,

You came into my life,
Changed me,
Made me love,
Showed me truth,

So,
Why'd it have to be you?

Carrying the cage to the basement,
Starting to cry as I look at it,
Because that was your home,
And you're not in it,

You were left dead and bloody in a box sent to the UOM,
How the heck can I accept that fact?

Didn't you know, YOU RIVER WHERE MY EVEYTHING?
I MISS YOU AND I NEVER COULD FORGET YOU,
You're on my heart just like a tattoo, just like a tattoo, I'll Always have you....

I NEVER wanted Memories... I ONLY WANTED YOU.....

I'll love you Forever River, See you on the other side of paradise!

Love you're Mom and best friend ~ Cindy

Copyright -Cindy - Please do not tamper of repruduce this poem... thanks.