In Memory and Honor of Harkin Joysey

March 8, 1998 - June 1, 2011

It is a scary thing to know if what you are feeling is OK or how you are expressing your grief (or love) is enough or the right way. I am so afraid I will forget Harkin's bark or the way it felt to pet him or the little things that made him such a character. I'm afraid I will forget how I felt those last days or over 13 years ago when I first saw and held him. I don't know how to act, think, or feel right now, either. But I do know that however I act is OK, whatever I feel is OK, and whatever I think or say is OK if it makes me feel better or helps Bill feel better. We both are letting each other grieve in our own way and are there for each other to offer comfort, a listening ear, a shoulder, or a hug.

It's OK if we want to leave the nose prints on the back and front door window panes;

It's OK to leave food and water in his bowls;

It's OK to never wash the blankie he loved and slept on;

It's OK to pack away his blankie and stuffed animal toys, and the clothes I wore the last time I held him because they have his scent or last drool on them.

It's OK to talk as if he is still here with us, or pet and caress the Pillo-Pet Bill bought him for Christmas (that for some reason he never tore the stuffing out of and now we know why);

It's OK to imagine him lying next to me or walking with me;

It's OK to believe the Robin that is ALWAYS out back is maybe our furry friend hanging around to just say "hi!" or to be sure we're OK;

It's OK to have saved his fur or to not shake the rug he last laid on;

It's OK to believe the Cardinal out back is my mom who passed away last year;

It's OK to believe that this same Cardinal who perched outside our bedroom window the morning after we put our beloved furry child to sleep is my mom telling us Harkin made it Home to Heaven and is OK;

It's OK to keep his pictures and photo albums out everywhere and look at his cute face;

It's OK to keep all of his toys out -- I just might want to pretend we are playing together or squeeze Mr. Weiner-Doggie, Mr. Screamie, Squeaky Pinkie, or Mr. Spider-y just to hear them squeak again;

It's OK to keep his poop baggies, leashies, frisbees, ballies, and tennis racket in the same place they've always been as if we might just be going for another walk or R-U-N together;

It's OK that I took 143 pictures of him his last day;

It's OK that I took him for TWO "last" walks that last day - if I hadn't, he wouldn't have been able to RUN one last time;

It's OK to keep his bag of food, pillies, last piece of bread, piece of cheese, and carroties ... they are a good reminder of how well we took care of him;

It's OK to put "Do Not Sit Here" signs on the couch where he always laid -- that was HIS spot;

It's OK to put Harkin's urn, sympathy cards, paw prints, and Kongies and treatie ballies filled with treaties on the fireplace;

It's OK to leave his toys right next to him where he always knew them to be;

It's ALL OK ... because these are the things that will make him always seem real to us and alive in our hearts.

We love and miss you so much, Harkin-y, and we will love you ALWAYS and keep you close within our hearts FOREVER AND EVER. Love, Momster and Dad

June 29, 2011