How are you enjoying your new place? I've been wondering if you've had the chance to meet Moonie, Juneau (actually you met him when you were quite young), and Jupiter. Have you seen Little Black Cat yet? You know the one who lived next door with Jake and always wanted to play with you back when you roamed the great outdoors. Well I guess you are most certainly doing so now! How is the food? Do they give you endless offerings of yogurt and chicken? Maybe you've had the chance to eat tandoori chicken. I know you would LOVE it because it's marinated in YOGURT!

Iggy, I know Sunday was a terrible day for you, and I hope you aren't mad at me for getting on you all day to eat. Did that baby food & broth concoction taste okay? You didn't spit it out when I fed you, so I'll assume you liked it. I was so worried about you all day. I checked on you before bedtime and noticed you had moved from the couch to that area near the TV and your carrier, with your little chin resting on that Garfield water dish.

I know you were in so much agony Monday morning. Ali was so worried when she saw you in the office. Did you notice that I wrapped my hand around your little arm when she began your fluids? As soon as I sat beside your little cage, I was so happy to see that sparkle reappear in your sweet little eyes as well as hold your paw while you gently moved it in my hand. But when you were served a special meal, I was never so excited to see you eat! You immediately noticed that bowl and lapped up some of the diluted wet food (although you did rest you chin in it after four or five tastes). I left knowing you were in good hands with your Total Bond friends and couldn't wait until later in the day because I would take you home and we could resume our usual hanging out on the sofa routine. Sure enough, Dr. Epstein called me and said you needed potassium (just like mom did when she got sick three years ago). You even managed to get up on your tired legs and switch positions. I was so relieved after I hung up. "Iggy-Boo is bouncing back, like he always does," I thought to myself. I hoped you would have enough strength to follow me to bed and sleep right beside me, like you always do.

But then I got another call. I could not believe what I heard. They told me you went very quickly and peacefully. I hope you weren't in any pain. I immediately drove to Total Bond and was consoled by Heather and your kind doctor. Heather told me she got to give you lots of hugs and kisses before you left. When I saw your little body wrapped in white sheets, I could tell you didn't have a struggle. You looked like you did in some of my pictures, stretched out on your left side (cleverly concealing the side of your face that went through so much these past couple of months), your ears sharp as if you heard some good music, your eyes big and wide, your mouth relaxed, and your arms outstretched as if you did some yoga and were getting ready for Savasana. You were at peace, Iggy.

I keep asking myself if your radiation treatments were the right thing to do. I read so many terrible things about the tumor that you had, I couldn't let it sit there in your mouth and take over your little body. That palliative treatment that Dr. Treuil gave you got rid of the entire ugly thing! I know radiation is intense and can do nasty things to healthy cells, but you've always been a fighter. I wish you were able to talk to me, so I would know what YOU would have wanted. You've become more and more like a little person later in your life that I'm surprised you haven't learned to talk.

It's about time for me to go to bed. It's been hard since Monday knowing you won't be jumping on my bed, doing the "paw thing" on my face, and getting comfortable as you stretch out and lean against my thigh. Remember that one time I woke up and you were sleeping right beside me, on the left side with your head near mine? That was so sweet of you. Like I said, you were becoming a little person. What was up with you taking my computer chair several weeks ago? You were so funny! You really liked lounging on the twin bed while I hammered away on my iMac, and I noticed you recently enjoyed sitting and sleeping on the craft table, too.

Iggy, I hope you are not mad at me for any decisions I made regarding your health. Please understand that you were my friend and I wanted to keep you in my life as long as I could, but I also wanted you to enjoy your life. I remember when I met Cinderella at the front door of the Y; she was homeless and so hungry. She's got a home now, but when me and Tina (the gymnastics teacher and cat lover) were feeding her that slice of cheese, I thought about how lucky you are to have a cozy house to protect you from harm.

Well now you are completely protected from all diseases, like cancer. You are no longer diabetic. You are robust and strong, and your eyes have that lovely sparkle. You don't have to get those insulin shots anymore, and you don't have to take piroxicam or buprenex, either. You can drink water from the most amazing fountains and rivers, and cups of yogurt grow on trees. There's plenty of chicken, too. I hope you have made some new friends, and recognize the old ones, too.
I need to go to bed now. I wish you were here because it was always easier to fall asleep with the hypnotic sound of your purring and the comfort of your little body nearby. Oh by the way, I have a job interview with CML in a couple of weeks. Did you have anything to do with that? I MISS YOU SNUGGLEBUNNY! Namaste.

Love,
Debra