Yesterday mommy and I made the gut-wrenching decision to have your life ended. We knew you were suffering, and we knew you were telling us it was time for you to go. We watched your brain slowly malfunction and deteoriate. We knew you were no longer enjoying life. You couldn't recognize people you knew, and you were having a hard time recognizing us. You looked at us many times on the day before in a way where we knew what you were asking. We knew you were asking us to do the kindest thing for you. We had tried everything else, and you, like the wonderful puppy you were, had tried your hardest too. But you were tired and exhausted and had given us everything you had to give.

You were so young. Only 9 months old. We had you since you were a baby at 6 weeks old. In the short time we had you it was as if you permeated every aspect of our life, and we couldn't remember what life had been like before you. Even the simple act of going to the freezer reminds me of you; remember how you would come running for an ice cube, and then you'd run back to the living room to munch on your cube?

You were rowdy and rambunctious like a puppy should be, and you demanded our attention. And we loved giving it to you. We loved you thoroughly and completely. And you loved us in a way that no person could love us. Both needing our love and giving it right back to us in expected and unexpected ways; the hugs and kisses, the wet, gentle nose against our hand when we were sleeping, the way you would wake up from your naps and come over to us and use us to stretch against, the tail wagging every time we walked in the door...

And now there is this terrible hole in our heart. We know you are now at peace...something you deserved more of during this short life, but something that illness robbed you of. Now you have it though sweet, dear baby. You are released to be the healthy puppy you shoud have been and deserved to be during this lifetme.

We are in pain, but we don't want you to worry about that. In time the pain will heal, never completely, but it will heal enough. We will never forget you. In your short time here with us you gave us more wonderful memories then some people give us in a lifetime. You were quite the clown at times, but you always were true to yourself. You demanded people meet you on your terms, and they did because you were kind and affectionate, and you made them feel better even it was only for a few minutes. Your neighborhood friends have already asked about you; Darien and Daquain are writing a letter about you that they want to give us. They were your best friends in the neighborhood, and they already miss you terribly. Remember playing with them in the front yard, and how you'd chase Darien around teasing him?

We know you are at peace now. We saw it when the vet gave you the sedative. Your poor body that had been rigid and tense and full of confusion slowly gave way to peace and then sleep. For the first time in a very long time you were able to sleep the way all puppies should sleep. Without worry, without tension. Your body relaxed. You were no longer afraid or confused.

Please wait for us. I know in my heart we will meet again. And I know that you will be the first face of many that I see when I cross the bridge. Play joyfully and sleep peacefully.

We miss you. I miss you. We love you. I love you.

Shalom
Mommy