I have so much I would like to tell you and so little time I don’t even know where to begin. The past 19 years have been wonderful for me thanks to you and Sonia. I tried so hard to teach you all that you needed to know to survive in this world without me, knowing that one day I would no longer be around to look after you and the others. Well that day has arrived and I go now, at peace in the knowledge that you all have each other.
I will never forget the many hours I spent curled up on your chest at night just listening to you talk and looking into your eyes. I was always trying to make you feel special, but it was you that made me realize how much you loved me and how special I was. Sometimes I would awake from a deep sleep to find that you were gone. I would panic and begin searching the house for you and crying as loud as I could. Usually I only did this for a few second before I heard you call to me from another room, and then you comforted me with a hug while telling me how silly I was. When you actually did leave the house for some time, I always ran to the door to greet you upon your return. I wanted you to know that I loved you, because as long as you knew that, I knew you would always return.
I will miss seeing the smile on your face as you played “The Thing Under the Covers” game with me. You looked so happy every time I pounced on your moving hand attempting to catch the “thing” under the covers. And yes, I knew it was you hand all along but I did not want to spoil the fun you were having. I will always cherish the memories of the walks you took me on in the outdoors part of my kingdom. The smells in the air and the feeling of fresh grass under my paws were truly wonderful, but that is not why I cried at the door to go outside. I did this because I knew that once we were outside I had you all to myself. You gave me your undivided attention as I stood in the warm sunshine and you petted me. We must have done that a million times together, yet each time you would always comment about how my black fur got so hot as it soaked up the sun. When our time in the sun was over and you said to me, “come on Scooter, let’s go inside”, I always protested a little as I headed for the front door. I only did this because I never wanted our time in the sun to end.
This past year I have not been at my best. As my health began to fail me I know I began to slow down. I was not always able to be the first to greet you at the door because I could not move as fast as the younger cats. Yet you always acknowledged me and made sure to pick me up just as you did everyone else. As the days went by I found it increasingly more difficult to take care of you the way that I should have. Despite this fact, your love for me never faltered.
Over the past few months as my health began to decline more rapidly, I was unable to be there for you as you had been for me for all of these years. When you would come in to take care of me I found it difficult to look into your eyes. The love that had always been there was now partially obscured by the sadness in your heart. I did not want you to be sad for me, because I had had a wonderful life because of you. I did not want you to remember the pain in my eyes, but instead the sparkle that was there whenever we were together.
I want you to know how much I appreciate all that you did for me during our last few days together. My biggest fear was dying alone and uncared for, but I knew that you would never allow that to happen. Those last few times that you picked me up and laid me on your chest in bed were wonderful. Your warmth and tenderness made my pain go away, at least until you fell asleep and stopped scratching my head. That last night as, I lay on your chest, I heard you as you prayed to God for guidance in doing what was best for me. I never doubted for a minute that God would give you the wisdom and strength to do what was best for me. I never doubted for a second that you would do anything for me if you felt it would end my suffering.
As my time in the sun came to its final end, as always, you were there for me. The feeling of your warmth as you held me across you chest made me feel loved and at peace. The sadness in your eyes was unfathomable, so I tried my hardest to purr for you one last time but could not muster the strength. As I began to drift off into a deep sleep like state I laid my head upon you shoulder, as I have so many times before, enjoying the warmth of your body. At that moment I saw all nine of my lives flash before my eyes and you were in all of them. I finally felt at peace, surrounded by the people I loved and who loved me. Thanks to your final act of love for me I am now basking in eternal sunshine. And when your time in the sun finally comes to an end, I will be here waiting for you to come home, just like I have so many times before.
Your Angel Kitty
Scooter (Nov. 1988 ~ Dec. 11th 2007)