Saturday 22nd September 2012, and you didnt come home. You didn't dash through the living room, announce you were home and dump yourself in the middle of us. Tom was waiting on the doorstep for you, Lucy looked confused, you just didn't come home. Your Dad was worried, I told him not to be silly...You were a cat! you would come back when you had finished with some poor mouse, or got bored of annoying the local felines. At 15 months old you were to full of it to be home by 8pm! And you were to clever to get lost surely?!

We looked for you all day Sunday, and it was almost a storm out there, we shouted your name up and down the streets, through the woods and our field's. when we could walk no more we got in the car, making posters and sticking them up as we went, gave one to every public place and begged them to look for you too, and nothing. Monday we had a sighting! a man rang me and said it was you! Oh Sil he thought it was you! I rushed out, searched the area where the man had told me too, went and got some of your best buscuits to rattle, and even then, when I paid for them, I was convinced that soon you would be eating them, that you would come home..Never even then, did I think it would end the way it did.

I drove up and down when i spotted a little black and white bundle on his back at the side of the road, I stopped, I was shaking, I got out the car and I threw up, convinced it was you, I felt my knees about to go as I got there, I looked down and threw up again. It was a cuddley toy.

It was the lady at the shop that rang us on monday, she rang your daddy, I almost wish she hadn't..he was so upset, she told us about the lady that worked with a group of men that had found you, or at least thought it was you. I need to see, I needed to see if it was you..I begged her to tell us what they had done with you, and her reply was "they buried him darlin" Silvio I hit the roof, I went mad. they buried you? remember when we went to the vets for that little chip?, It was so no matter what, you would always be returned to me and Daddy, and as far as we were knew, you were now in the cold ground somewhere in awful weather, on your own. We spent that night out again in the rain, looking around the factory by the bushes where you were apparently found, looking for a little mound of earth. We were prepared to dig you up in a storm, just to get you home and warm and in our arms to say goodbye.We had to give up. I was getting to upset and Daddy said he would by any means find the people who had buried you tomorrow and get you home. Part of me then still hoped it wasnt you, so we went on calling.

We had to go to work on Tuesday, but your Dad kept on, found the company these men worked at and called them, then he called me.
"It's him baby, it's our lad, they didn't bury him because of the weather, they have him in a box wrapped up in a blanket, Im going to get him now and i'll meet you at home.."
I was relieved, we had you, we found you, we were going to hold you again and kiss your nose and stroke your paws and tell you off for being a little idiot. then I realised, you were gone, my gorgeous boy, my little monster, gone, and I broke. My heart broke right then.

I pulled up outside our house, onto the drive that you waited on for me, the drive it had to hoot my horn to get you off so I could park. You were there on the table, wrapped up in a blanket and Dad was trying to get you dry, 24 hours you had been wrapped up and you still wern't dry. We know you had been out there since saturday till those men found you else you would have come home!
I walked up to you laying there, I couldnt breathe through tears, all I could say to you was "what did you do?! Silvio what did you do! you went to far, you didnt look did you?! you thought to much of whatever you were chasing to look where you were going and you left us, Sil you left us!"
You were perfect, you were still as beautiful as the day you were born, that day I decided you had to come live with us. but you were cold. I held you and I kissed you and you were so cold.Your face was dirty,it was oil, it was a car.

We held you, for as long as we could before we had to take you, up to your lovely vet so she could send you to rainbow bridge. I will never forget that gorgeous sleeping mucky little face on my shoulder in the car during that drive, knowing that soon I would never again hold you, laugh at you, tell you off, shout at you, look at you and imagine what you were going to look like at Toms age, wonder how you would be with mine and daddys other children when we had them,i would never again lay in the bath and hold you while you found the magic that you did in being around water.. and never feel that thump on the bed and that deep and wonderful purr.

It hurts, and Daddy hurts, and Tom is still looking for you, and lucy is trying to stop me crying, but i can't. not yet.

Remember that tiny basket that you slept in, that one you could only get half your body in because you grew to be such a big boy? I took your picture while you were sleeping and I have it in a frame inside that basket, lit up by a candle at night. I can't bear for you not to be in our room at night.and when you come home, your soul having gone to rainbow bridge, im going to put you back in that basket. forever.

You were such a loved and adored little boy, by all of us, and you hae left as little hole in my heart and an ache I can't imagine ever going away. You are with your real mummy now, go find her, tell her about us, and wait for Tom, he wont be long.

We love you darling. Be good! and if you absolutley have to murder a bird or a mouse make it quick!

Night Sweetheart xx xx xx xx xx xx xx