ONE COLD DECEMBER DAY IN 2008 WHILE SHOVELING SNOW MY HUSBAND, BEN LOOKED UP AND ACROSS THE STREET ON THE NIEGHBORING HOUSES PORCH SAT A LITTLE BLACK CAT. WE HAD NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE BUT HE SAT AND JUST WATCHED US. WE HAD JUST LOST OUR CAT SCOOTER A FEW YEARS EARLIER AND THIS LITTLE CAT WAS IDENTICAL TO HIM,SOLID BLACK LONG HAIR DOMESTIC BEAUTFUL ROUND GREEN EYES JUST A LITTLE SMALLER THAN SCOO AND HE HAD ONE LITTLE TINY TUFFED OF WHITE FUR ON THE TIP OF HIS FRONT RIGHT PAW. HE STARED AT US WITH THOSE BEAUTIFUL EYES LIKE HE WAS TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING, FINALLY BEN WENT IN AND GOT SOME FOOD AND MILK TO GIVE TO HIM. HE RAN BUT CAME BACK AFTER BEN PUT THE FOOD AND WARM MILK DOWN AND WALKED AWAY. FROM THAT DAY ON AT THE SAME TIME HE WAS ALWAYS THERE WAITING FOR HIS FOOD.WE TRIED TO CATCH HIM AND BRING HIM IN BUT HE NEVER LET US CLOSE.BEN STARTED CALLING HIM BLACKJACK,AND SO HE NOW HAD A NAME.EVENTUALLY HE WAS JOINED BY A LITTLE FEMALE CALICO WHO WAS OLDER AND MORE STREET WISE HE FOLLOWED HER AROUND AND YOU COULD SEE SHE WAS "TEACHING HIM THE ROPES" OF SURVIVAL OUTSIDE.WE FED THEM BOTH AND TRIED TO GAIN THEIR TRUST,BUT DAYS TURNED INTO MONTHS,MONTHS TURNED INTO YEARS. WE NEVER HAD BEEN ABLE TO TOUCH THEM BUT THEY DID FINALLY COME TO OUR PORCH AFTER A FEW MONTHS AND WOULD "HANGOUT" IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE SUNNING THEMSELVES,SHE BECAME CALLIE AND HE BLACK AND THEY WERE NOW AND EVERYDAY PART OF OUR LIVES. WE WOULD CHECK IN THE AM AND THERE THEY WOULD ALMOST ALWAYS BE WAITING FOR BREAKFAST AND THEN AGAIN IN THE PM FOR DINNER.AS THE YEARS PASSED SEVERAL TIMES A DAY FOR A TREAT.EVENTUALLY BLACK BEING A MALE STARTED TO ROAM A BIT MORE, HE WOULD SOMETIMES MISS DINNER, OR BREAKFAST BUT ALWAYS BACK BY THE NEXT MEAL.THEN HE STARTED TO LEAVE FOR A DAY OR TWO,BUT NEVER MORE THEN THAT.IN ALL THIS TIME BOTH CALLIE AND BLACK WOULD RELIGOUSLY BE HERE FOR MEALS AND TREATS BUT RETREATED TO WHEREEVER IT WAS THEY SLEPT,WE TRIED TO FOLLOW AND SEE SO MANY TIMES BUT COULD NEVER ACTUALLY FIND THEIR "LAIRS" IT WAS DEFINATLY GOING TO STAY THEIR SECRET.CALLIE HAVING BEEN AROUND LONGER IN THE NIEGHBORHOOD I THINK HAD A MORE DEFINATIVE SAFE PLACE WHEREAS BLACK ,ONCE AGAIN SEEMED TO BE MORE DISPLACED AND FINDING "NEW" PLACES OFTEN, BEING A MALE ISUPPOSE HE FOUND HIMSELF CHALLENGED MORE OFTEN.ALTHOUGH WE DESPERATLY WANTED THEM TO STAY WITH US,THEY SEEMED DETERMINED TO KEEP THAT THEIR SECRET,RELUCTANTLY WE ACCEPTED THEIR TERMS BUT,STILL BEN HAD BUILT HOUSES FOR THEM INSULATED AND WARM FOR THE WINTER WEATHER AND WE KEPT THEM ON OUR PORCH, ALTHOUGH THEY WOULD NOT STAY IN THEM ALL THE TIME THEY USED THEM OFTEN ESPECIALLY BLACK,I LEAVE FOR WORK EARLY AND OFTEN BLACK WOULD BE IN HIS HOUSE WAITING FOR BREAKFAST(ESPECIALLY IF HE MISSED DINNER THE NIGHT BEFORE) WHEN I WOULD WALK OUT THE DOOR.
ONE DAY IN THE SPRING OF 09 BLACK CAME BACK FORM AN OVERNIGHT TRIP AND WAS LIMPING TERRIBLY ON HIS RIGHT BACK PAW,I COULD NOT GET NEAR ENOUGH TO HIM BUT COULD SEE NO WOUND AND REALIZED IT WAS BROKEN.I WAS ABLE TO CONVINCE THE VET TO GIVE ME A LIQUID ANTIBIOTIC TO PUT IN HIS FOOD JUST IN CASE OF INFECTION BUT THERE WAS NO MORE I COULD DO AS HE STILL WOULD NOT COME ANYWHERE CLOSE. THANKFULLY, HE SLOWLY SHOWED PROGRESS IN USING THE PAW AGAIN IN TIME AND BY FALL WAS WALKING ON IT AGAIN. AS THE YEARS PASSED AND BLACK CAME OF AGE HE AND CALLIE DID NOT SPEND AS MUCH TIME TOGETHER ANYMORE BUT GOT ALONG WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER AND WOULD EAT WITH EACHOTHER. AMAZINGLY, DURING THIS TIME NO OTHER CATS REALLY EVER STARTED TO COME AROUND, EXCEPT ONE LARGE TABBY MALE ONCE IN A WHILE UNFORTUNATLY HE WOULD FIGHT WITH BLACKJACK I ONLY SAW HIM THREE OR FOUR TIMES AND CHASED HIM BECAUSE OF HIS AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR, BUT DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES CALLIE AND BLACK MAY HAVE ENCOUNTERED HIM. BLACK HOWEVER WOULD RUN HE REALLY NEVER DEVELOPED THE TOMCAT DEMEANOR,I WAS ALWAYS AFRAID FOR BLACK FOR THAT REASON. BLACKJACK WAS JUST A MELLOW QUITE BOY WHO SEEMED LIKE HE WANTED NO TROUBLE HE DID NOT FIGHT,I WORRIED ABOUT BLACK FROM TIME TO TIME BECAUSE ALTHOUGH HE WAS GROWING AND GETTING BIG,I KNEW HE WOULD BE CHALLENGED MORE AND MORE OFTEN,YET HE NEVER TURNED INTO A "TOMCAT" HE HAD THIS ETERNAL KITTEN LIKE FEAR AND CURIOSITY. BEN AND I INCREASINGLY WANTED TO GET HIM ,AND HER "OFF THE STREETS" HOWEVER NO MATTER WHAT WE TRIED THEY WOULD NOT LET US NEAR THEM. IT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE I WOULD TALK TO THEM, AND THEY WOULD STAY THERE AND "LISTEN" AS LONG AS I DID NOT TRY TO TOUCH THEM,THEY WOULD RUN UP TO US EVERY TIME WE PULLED IN THE DRIVEWAY LIKE PETS,BUT KEEP AT LEAST A FOOT BETWEEN US,AND THEY WOULD LAY ON THE PORCH ALL DAY WHILE WE WENT IN AND OUT AND RUB UP AGAINST THE RAILINGS AND THEIR HOUSES WHILE I SAT ON THE PORCH AND TALKED TO THEM, BUT NOOOO TOUCHING FRUSTRATING TO SAY THE LEAST BUT I DECIDED I DID NOT START FEEDING THEM AND CARING FOR THEM FOR WHAT THEY COULD GIVE ME, I STARTED TO BECAUSE IT WAS WHAT I COULD DO FOR THEM. IN TIME I ACCEPTED THAT ALTHOUGH I WANTED TO GIVE THEM A HOME AND I WANTED TO TAKE THEM IN AND KEEP THEM SAFE AND PROTECT THEM FROM EVERYTHING, THEY, DID NOT WANT THAT.THEY I DECIDED, APPRECIATED AND ACCEPTED THE HELP IN MAKING THEIR LIVES A LITTLE EASIER, BUT THEY JUST SEEMED TO LIKE THINGS THE WAY THEY WERE. THEY HAD A PLACE OF SOLACE,AND GOOD HEALTHY MEALS REGULARLY BUT THEY HAD THEIR FREEDOM TO BE THE ONLY CATS THEY EVER KNEW HOW TO BE, AND MAYBE WHAT I CONSIDERED SAFE AND RIGHT WOULD BE COOPED UP AND CONFINED TO THEM NOW. SO RELUCTANTLY, I ACCEPTED THIS IS HOW IT WILL PROBABLY STAY ALTHOUGH I NEVER STOP TRYING TO GET THEM TO LET ME TOUCH THEM.CALLIE, BEING A CALICO AND VERY POSSIBLY STERILE, HAS NEVER HAD KITTENS, AND I WORRIED ABOUT THE "DAMAGE" BLACKJACK COULD BE CAUSING I DECIDED THAT WE WOULD NEED TO CAPTURE BLACK EVEN IF WE NEEDED HELP FROM ANIMAL CONTROL JUST TO GET HIM NEUTURED AND RETURN HIM OUTSIDE AFTERWARDS, BUT THAT PROVED TO BE NO EASY TASK AND WE WERE UNABLE AFTER MANY ATTEMPTS TO CATCH HIM. I DID OT WANT TO PUSH TO HARD IN FEAR HE WOULD LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK, BUT OUT SMARTED EVERY ATTEMPT WE MADE AND THERFORE,SADLY WAS NEVER NEUTURED.(IT MAY HAVE STOPPED HIS WANDERING)
BLACKJACK AND CALLIE BECAME CONSTANTS IN OUR LIVES AND WITHOUT HAVING EVER TOUCHED THESE ANIMALS I BECAME SO ATTACHED AND GENUINELY CARED FOR THEM. THEY WOULD BRIGHTEN OUR DAY JUST BY THE WAY THE PLAYED OUT THERE,HOW THEY WOULD COME AND GO IN A FLASH SOMETIMES AND OTHERS STAY FOR HOURS AND HOURS. BEN AND I WENT ABOUT OUR LIVES EVERYDAY AND ACCEPTED CALLIE AND BLACKJACK ON THEIR TERMS,THEY BECAME A PART OF OUR FAMILY ,IN A DISTANT WAY.
ONE DAY DURING THE WINTER OF 2011 BLACK CAME UP FOR DINNER ONE AFTERNOON AND I NOTICED HE WAS LIMPING ON HIS LEG AGAIN, THE SAME INJURY THAT MOST LIKELY NEVER HEALED CORRECTLY APPARENTLY WAS CAUSING HIM PAIN AGAIN. THIS WINTER HAD BEEN ESPECIALLY COLD AND SNOWY IN JANUARY AND I ASSUMED THE EXTREME COLD WAS AGGRAVATING THE LEG. HE WAS HOBBILING BADLY ON IT ONE PETICULIAR DAY AND I REMEMBER WATCHING HIM APPROACH THE HOUSE AND HE WAS HAVING A HARD TIME, HE NEEDED TO SIT SEVERAL TIMES. BY THIS TIME I KNEW I WAS NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO GET NEAR HIM BUT WAS GRATEFUL WHEN HE SETTLED IN HIS HOUSE FOR THE NIGHT. (OR AT LEAST MOST OF IT). THE NEXT DAY HE WAS WALKING ON IT AGAIN,BUT I KNEW THIS WOULD PROBABLY BE A PROBLEM ON AND OFF FOR HIM ,ESPECIALLY IN THE COLD WEATHER. I WAS TERRIFIED BECAUSE BEN AND I LIVE ON A RELATIVELY QUITE STREET, CALLIE NEVER EVER LEAVES IT BUT BLACK HAD TAKEN TO WANDRING MORE AND MORE OFTEN AT FIRST HE WOULD JUST GO DEEPER INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD WHICH WAS ALL QUITE SIDE STREETS AND WORK HIS WAY THROUGH EVERYONES BACKYARDS HAVING LEARNED EVERY HOLE, AND SPLIT IN EVERY FENCE HE COULD TRAVEL QUITE A DISTANCE WITHOUT REALLY HAVING TO GO IN THE STREET, A TRICK CALLIE TAUGHT HIM WELL BACK IN THE DAY. CALLIE,HAS ALWAYS AMAZED BEN AND I WITH HER WITS OF THE STREETS, SHE TRULY LOOKS BEFORE CROSSING AND KNOWS EVERY WAY AROUND WITHOUT HAVING TO TOUCH THE STREET, OR AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE SOMETHING BLACKJACK SEEMED TO HEED TOO, WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER. HOWEVER, AS HE GOT OLDER AND CAME TO MATURITY HIS CURIOSITY WAS GETTING THE BETTER OF HIM AND BEN AND I WERE HORRIFIED WHEN WE SAW HIM CROSSING A MAJOR STREET, AT THE END OF OUR NIEGHBORHOOD DURING RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC ONE NIGHT. WE STARED AT EACHOTHER FOR A SPLIT SECOND BECAUSE WE JUST HAPPEN TO BE THERE,AND REALIZED THAT WAS BLACKJACK. KNOWING BLACKS WANDERING WAS TAKING HIM ACROSS THIS ROAD, AND NOW SEEING HIM LIMPING ON HIS LEG I FEARED THE WORST. THE WINTER CONTINUED AND BLACK CONTINUED,HE STAYED AROUND THE HOUSE MORE AND IN HIS HOUSE MORE, WHICH I WAS GRATEFUL FOR AND WE ALL JUST WAITED OUT THE COLD SNOWY WINTER BOTH OF THEM STICKING CLOSE. FINALLY AFTER WEEKS OF TEMPURATURES IN THE TEENS AND TWENTIES IT STARTED TO WARM UP JUST A LITTLE AND FIVE FOOT TALL MOUNDS OF SNOW EVERYWHERE STARTED TO SLOWLY MELT AND THERE WAS SUN AGAIN. ONE SATURDAY IN FEBUARY BEN AND I WORRIED BLACK HAD EATEN THURSDAY NIGHT BUT WAS NOT BACK BY SATURDAY NIGHT I CALLED AND WAITED FOR HIM, I LITERALLY GOT OUT OF BED TWICE TO CHECK IF HE CAME BACK THAT NIGHT AND MY HEART STARTED TO SINK. SUNDAY CALLIE CAME FOR BREAKFAST, STILL NO BLACK AND BY 2PM CALLIE WAS THER AGAIN BUT STILL NO BLACK. I PUT ON A COAT AND GLOVES AND STARTED TO WALK THE BLOCK CALLING HIS NAME, I WALKED TO THE END TO THE BUSY ROAD WE HAD SEEN BLACK CROSSING(NOW SEVERAL TIMES) AND I CHECKED ALL THE AREA I WAS EXPECTING TO FIND HIM, HIT BY A CAR UNDER A BUSH OR GOD FORBID IN THE ROAD OR ON THE SIDE OF IT, BUT HE WAS NOWHERE.I CHECKED EVERY NIEGHBORS YARD HE WOULD CUT THROUGH AND CALLED BUT NO BLACKJACK.AS I CAME IN THE FRONT DOOR CALLIE CAME UP ON THE PORCH AGAIN AND MEOWED ,WHICH WAS HIGHLY UNUSUAL AND MADE ME EVEN MORE ANXIOUS,WELL, BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS WONDER JUST REALLY WHAT DO THEY KNOW ?I "TOLD" HER I CAN'T FIND BLACK SO IF SHE KNOWS WHERE HE IS TO GO AND GET HIM CAUSE I AM REALLY WORRIED, OF COURSE SHE JUST LOOKED AT ME LIKE A CAT A CONFUSED CAT WHO DID NOT HAVE A CLUE WHAT I WAS SAYING, SO I WENT IN. BEN WAS GETTING READY TO LEAVE FOR WORK AND ASSURED ME HE'LL BE BACK, BUT I COULD TELL BEN WAS WORRIED TOO, I KNOW I KNOW ,IT IS JUST A CAT,
BUT BLACKJACK WAS NEVER GONE THIS LONG. I GOT BENS THINGS TOGETHER QUICKLY WITH HIM BECAUSE HE HAD TO GET TO WORK AND I HAD WALKED AROUND LONGER THEN I REALIZED SO WE RUSHED A BIT AND AS BEN OPENED THE DOOR TO LEAVE THERE WAS CALLIE WALKING UP THE DRIVEWAY, WITH BLACKJACK ALONGSIDE HER, WE COULD NOT BELIEVE IT WE BOTH FROZE, IT WAS LIKE SHE DID UNDERSTAND WHAT I SAID AND SHE WENT AND GOT HIM!!!!!!WHOEVER SAID TIMING IS EVERYTHING, BOY WHAT AN UNDERSTATMENT! THERE WAS BLACK FINE AND WELL JUST HUNGRY AS USUALL.WHAT A RELIEF!!! BUT I STARTED REELING MYSELF IN SAYING I HAVE GOT TO STOP THIS, IT IS A CAT!!
SO ON GOES LIFE, THE FOLLOWING FRIDAY I REALIZE BLACK IS GONE AGAIN, NO SHOW SINCE THURSDAY AFTERNOON AND FIGURE HE IS ON ANOTHER ONE OF HIS TRIPS FOR THE DAY OR SO, BUT CALLIE IS ON TIME AS USUALL FOR EACH MEAL PLUS TREATS A LITTLE RUBBING THE POST AND ROLLING AROUND THANKYOUS AND OFF SHE GOES. I WAS ACTUALLY WORKING THAT DAY BUT HAD COME HOME ON A BREAK IN BETWEEN TO TAKE CARE OF A FEW THINGS. I WAS HEADED BACK TO WORK A 2PM AND REALIZED I NEEDED TO RUN TO THE STORE REAL QUICK TO PICK SOMETHING UP FOR DINNER, BEN NORMALLY STOPS BUT I DECIDED I WOULD GET IT NOW SO I COULD GET STARTED COOKING RIGHT AWAY WHEN I GET HOME.
I JUMPED IN THE CAR AND WHEN I GOT TO THE CORNER I DECIDED TO JUST RUN TO THE CONVINIENCE STORE ON THE CORNER AS OPPOSED TO GOING ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE SUPERMARKET SINCE I WAS PRESSED FOR TIME (B/C I DO NOT LIKE THIS CONVIENENCE STORE NORMALLY, AND WOULD NOT GO THERE),SO AT THE LAST MINUTE I HOOKED A RIGHT INSTEAD OF THE LEFT I WAS GOING TO MAKE AND HEADED DOWN TO THE STORE, AS I MADE THE TURN I LOOKED IN ALL DIRECTIONS QUICKLY OUT OF HABIT FOR THIS WAS THE BUSY ROAD AND THE CORNER WE SAW BLACKJACK CROSSING RECENTLY AND WHERE I HAD WALKED TO LOOK FOR HIM LAST WEEK AND WITH GRATEFUL HEART, HE WAS NOT THERE! RELIVED BUT CHASTISING MYSELF, FOR THIS HAS TO STOP HE IS A CAT,AN OUTSIDE FERAL CAT TO BOOT!! BUT WHEN YOU CARE ABOUT SOMETHING YOU CAN NOT ALWAYS USE LOGICS TO JUSTIFY WHAT YOU DO SO I DROVE.ONE BLOCK LATER MY HEART CAME TO A STOP, THERE IN THE ROAD AN ANIMAL HIT AND LEFT DEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AS I GOT CLOSER I SLOWED DOWN THE ANIMAL HAD BEEN HIT SEVERAL TIMES AND JUST LEFT LIKE SOME UNIMPORTANT THING TO BE HIT AND MANGLED OVER AND OVER, HOW CAN PEOPLE BE LIKE THIS, I SLOWED AND OPENED MY WINDOW KNOWING THIS COULD NOT BE BLACK BECAUSE IT IS TO FAR AWAY BUT YET MY HEART ACHED FOR WHOMEVERS ANIMAL THIS MAY HAVE BEEN, KNOWING THE ANGUISH I FELT WITH FEAR FOR BLACK NOW SOMEONE ELSE WILL FEEL THIS HEARBREAK, AND AS I GOT CLOSER I STOPPED, THINKING MAYBE I CAN AT LEAST GET THIS POOR THING OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND WHEN I LOOKED I GASPED, THE HEARTBREAK WAS MINE IT WAS MY BLACKJACK. TEARS WELLED UP IN MY EYES, I STARTED CONVINCING MYSELF IT WAS NOT HIM I HAD TO MOVE THE CAR TRAFFIC WAS COMING AND I WENT AROUND THE BLOCK AND CAME BACK CONVINCING MYSELF THE WHOLE TIME THIS IS NOT HIM, THE POOR ANIMAL WAS HIT SEVERAL TIMES MAKING IT HARD TO BE SURE BUT WHEN I CAME BACK THE SECOND TIME THE LIGHT WAS RED DOWN THE BLOCK AND THERE WAS NO TRAFFIC EITHER WAY I WAS ABLE TO ACTUALLY STOP COMPLETELY AND LOOK CLOSER THE ONLY THING DEFINATIVE WAS BLACKS LONG SILKY BLACK FUR
THIS ANIMAL HAD THIS FUR THERE WAS NO OTHER DETERMINING FACTORS BECAUSE OF THE WAY HE WAS LAYING, BUT IN MY HEART I KNEW IT WAS BLACKJACK. I DROVE HOME, I LEFT HIM THERE AND DROVE HOME BECAUSE CARS CAME I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO, BUT I KNEW THE SECOND I DROVE AWAY I CAN NOT LEAVE HIM THERE NO MATTER WHAT, RIGHT WRONG GOULISH GOREY WHATEVER ANYONE THINKS I CAN NOT LEAVE HIM THERE HE WAS NOT SOME OBJECT, OR EVEN SOME UNLOVED UN NOTICED SOUL, HE HAD A NAME HE WAS LOVED, I KNEW WE HAD TO GO AND GET HIM. BEN CAME HOME AND WE WENT TO GET BLACK, THERE WAS STILL A POSSIBLE CHANCE THIS WAS NOT BLACK, THE INSENSITIVITY OF WHOEVER HIT HIM AND LEFT HIM THERE TO BE SO DIFIGURED HAD INFACT DONE JUST THAT MAKING THIS PERHAPS EVEN MORE DISTURBING TO SOME,BUT GRATEFULLY, THERE WAS IN FACT VERY LITTLE TO NO BLOOD, OR "GORE" MIRACULOUSLY ALTHOUGH HE WAS HIT NUMEROUS TIMES THEY MOSTLY ,WELL HIT THE SAME SPOT AND AFTER RETRIVING HIM FROM THE STREET ( WITH GLOVES AND SHOVEL) WAS ACTUALLY IN TACT.I KNOW TO SOME THIS WILL BE DIFFICULT AS IT WAS FOR ME BUT HIS HEAD AND PAWS WERE UNDESERNABLE, AND HIS FUR WAS FULL OF DIRT AND MUDD AND HE WAS SO FAR AWAY FROM ANYWHERE WE EVER SAW HIM I STILL THOUGHT THIS MIGHT NOT BE BLACK. WHEN WE GOT HOME I WENT INTO THE IN THE GARAGE, WITH GLOVES, I TOOK THIS LIFELESS BODY OUT OF THE BAG BEN HAD PLACED HIM IN AND GINGERLY TRYING TO DECIFER THIS POOR MANGLED BODY I FINALLY SAW AN EAR AND WAS ABLE TO DETERMINE LEFT SIDE FROM RIGHT AND ALTHOUGH THE MINUTE I SAW THE FUR UP CLOSE I KNEW IN MY HEART THIS WAS MY BLACK, I TURNED THIS LITTLE CAT OVER AND FOUND THE RIGHT FRONT PAW AND THERE IT WAS THE LITTLE WHITE TUFFED OF FUR I WAS PRAYING WOULD NOT BE THERE, AND I KNEW THIS WAS IN FACT MY LITTLE BLACK, I CRIED,THEN I SADLY REALIZED THAT ALTHOUGH I HAD ON GLOVES I WAS TOUCHING HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME. SO I RAN MY FINGER ALONG HIS FUR AS GRATEFULLY, THE ONE SIDE OF BODY WAS VIRTUALLY UNTOUCHED AND HIS FUR WAS STILL SOFT AND LONG AND I REMEMBERED HOW BEAUTIFUL AND JET BLACK IT WAS AND WOULD BLOW IN THE WIND I ALWAYS WANTED TO PET HIM I IMAGINED HOW SOFT IT MUST BE AND EVEN NOW,IT STILL WAS.THEN I WRAPPED BLACK UP IN A BLANKET AND PLACED HIM IN A BOX, I WROTE REST IN PEACE OUR LITTLE BLACKJACK ON THE TOP DATED IT AND THEN WE BURIED BLACK UNDER AN ARBORVIATE OFF THE FRONT PORCH THAT HE USED TO LIKE TO LAY UNDER I THINK HE FOUND IT A SAFE PLACE HE LIKED TO NAP THERE.
I TOO WAS SURPRISED AT THE AFFECTION I HAD DEVELOPED FOR AN ANIMAL I HAD NEVER EVEN TOUCHED, AS BEN FOUND HIMSELF AT ODDS FOR NOT EVEN HAVING BEEN AN ANIMAL LOVER TO BEGIN WITH, HE FOUND TEARS IN HIS EYES WHLE DIGGING BLACKS GRAVE. IN THE YEARS WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER HE HAS HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO BE AROUND ANIMALS BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER NOT BEEN, BUT I THINK HE IS MESMERIZED AT HOW AFTER BEING AROUND THEM BY NO CHOICE, HE COULD NEVER BE WITHOUT ONE AGAIN. THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, THE ABSOLUTE SINCERITY OF LOVE FROM AND FOR ANIMALS HAS BEEN I THINK LIKE A REVELATION TO HIM, NOT HAVING EVER REALIZED THE PURENESS OF LOVE UNTIL NOW,TO LOVE SO REAL AND NOT NEED TO GET ANYTHING BACK IN RETURN, AND FEEL SO FUFILLED BY A FLEETING GLANCE OF GRATITUDE.
I WILL ALWAYS WONDER WHAT MADE ME GO TO THE STORE THAT DAY, AT THAT TIME WHEN I HAD TO LEAVE FOR WORK AND TO A STORE I WOULD NOT HAVE EVER GONE TO, HOOK A RIGHT INSTEAD OF A LEFT LAST MINUTE REFLEX,I SUPPOSE I WILL NEVER RELLY ACTUALLY KNOW BUT I CAN TELL YOU WHAT I BELIEVE.I WOULD NEVER HAVE STOPPED LOOKING FOR BLACK WEEKS MAYBE MONTHS I WOULD HAVE ANGUISHED OVER HIS DIAPPEARANCE WONDERING WHERE IS HE, I WAS GRATEFULLY SPARED THAT DISPAIR AND GIVEN THE DEFINATIVE ANSWER,SO AS NOT TO NEVER KNOW AND GIVEN THE CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE, BUT I THINK MORE THAN THAT I WAS GIVEN A CHANCE TO KEEP MY PROMISE AND THAT IS WHAT I WILL ALWAYS BE MOST GRATEFUL FOR.WHEN I USED TO SIT ON THE PORCH AND"TALK" TO CALLIE AND BLACKJACK I USED TO ALWAYS LOOK IN THEIR EYES AND THEY WOULD ALWAYS MEET MY EYES AS LONG AS I DID NOT TRY TO TOUCH, AND I WOULD TELL THEM YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF ME I PROMISED THEM I WOULD ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF THEM AND IF THEY WOULD JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE AND TRUST ME THEY WOULD SEE. I WILL ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL I MADE THAT RIGHT INSTED OF A LEFT, ALTHOUGH I WAS NOT ABLE TO CHANGE BLACKS FATE, AND I PREFER TO THINK HIS FATE HAS PUT HIM IN A BETTER PLACE ,NO MORE WORRIES, NO MORE PAIN IN HIS LEG, NO MORE CARS I AT LEAST WAS THERE TO RESCUE HIM FROM BEING LEFT ON THE ROAD LIKE GARBAGE, SOME UNOTICED LIFE THAT CAME AND PASSED TROUGH THIS WORLD UNIMPORTANT TO ANYONE,AND IF HE MADE ONE PASSING GLANCE OVER HIS SHOULDER ON HIS WAY TO A BETTER LIFE,I AM GRATEFUL I WAS THERE TO MAKE THAT GLANCE A PEACEFUL ONE I TOOK CARE OF HIM AND DID THE ONLY THING LEFT I COULD FOR HIM SHOW HIM HE WAS LOVED,AND MEMORIES OF HIM WILL ALWAYS LIVE IN SOMEONES HEART. HIS LIFE HERE WAS NOT IN VAIN HE MATTERED TO SOMEONE!AND I LOVED HIM.
I BELIEVE ALL ANIMALS GO TO HEAVEN NOT JUST PETS, I HAVE LOST,SIMBA CODY,TEDDY BEAR, AND SCOOTER, (BLACKJACKS LOOK A LIKE)ALL WHOM I BELIEVE ARE AT THE RAINBOW BRIDGE WAITING FOR ME, I SAID A PRAYER AND ASKED THEM ALL TO FIND THIS LITTLE BLACK CAT NEWCOMER AND KEEP HIM WITH THEM, HE IS ONE OF OUR FAMILY NOW AND I BELIEVE I WILL SEE BLACK AGAIN ONE DAY TOO.
FOR NOW CALLIE STILL COMES ALL THE TIME IN FACT SHE SPENDS A LITTLE MORE TIME HERE NOW,BLACK STARTED TO WANDER MORE TOWARDS THE END BUT STILL WAS CALLIES MAIN COMPANION,SO MAYBE THATS WHY SHE COMES MORE AND STAYS LONGER.SHE LETS ME TOUCH THE TIP OF HER NOSE NOW AND OCCASSIONALLY THE TIP OF HER TAIL,SHE EATS WELL BUT I CAN TELL SHE KNOWS HE IS NOT COMING BACK THIS TIME. IT DOES NOT STOP ME FROM CHECKING ACROSS THE STREET I STILL LOOK AND HALF EXPECT HIM TO COME CRAWLING OUT FROM THE NEIGHBORS FENCE FOR DINNER AS I WATCHED HIM DO A THOUSAND TIMES, I STILL OPEN MY FRONT DOOR HALF EXPECTING BLACK TO BE CURLED UP ON THE PORCH RUG STANDING AND STRETCHING AS I OPEN THE DOOR, I STILL TRY TO BELIEVE MAYBE IT WASN'T BLACK,FOOLISH, I KNOW, BUT THE CONCEPT THAT SOMETHING COULD TAKE SO LONG TO BECOME PART OF YOUR NORM, YET ONCE IT DOES IT'S SO HARD TO ACCEPT THAT IT CAN BE TAKEN OUT SO ABRUPTLY. SO I STRIVE NOW TO CHERISH WHAT I HAVE WHILE IT IS HERE.
AS FOR CALLIE I WILL NEVER STOP TRYING,SOMEDAY NO MATTER HOW MUCH PATIENCE IT TAKES I HOPE TO WIN HER TRUST,BUT EITHER WAY I WILL ALWAYS LOOK OUT FOR HER,SHE WILL NEVER BE HUNGRY,AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO MAKE HER KNOW SHE'S LOVED,EVEN IF SHE NEVER SEE'S THINGS MY WAY,SHE'LL STILL ALWAYS BE LOVED.