My last day on earth
I woke up a little weak today. I couldn't even go potty this morning, I just waited for dad to leave for work and slowly walked to the laundry room and piddled I know it's against my parents rules but they don't mind. I know it's my last day on earth, Mommy and Daddy don't but I do I hear the angels calling me.
Mommy's home from work I am so excited but I don't have the energy to show it. She lets the other dogs out and comes to carry me to the door, "come with me Princess Jazmin, Time for potty." I love it when she calls me princess and I wag my tail. How am I going to break the news to her I have to leave? She places me gently on the stoop. Boy when did it get so high, I try to make her proud and jump down the step, but I fall. Mommy runs to me and helps me up, she and Daddy always are there to help me.
I have been having more trouble walking lately, but today I can barely make it a couple steps. It is harder to breathe today too, also I am not snorting like normal. When I was a little puppy I got really sick Mommy rushed me to a nice man who did a lot of tests and he told Mommy I had malformed trachea, reverse sneezing and open fontanel, Malformed back legs, My mommy and daddy says it makes me their special princess., but it also meant when I had a hard time breathing they would have to breathe for me.
Mommy noticed I wasn't snorting like normal and became very worried.
I don't like to be cuddled but I knew it was my last day with them for a long time so I sat in mommy's lap, but I couldn't look her in the eye it hurt too much see her cry. I laid by My Great aunt Cheryl just to be close by, I am her fearless guard dog and her porky pig, oh my what will she do when I leave, but I will see her before I see Mommy and Daddy again.
It is so hard to get comfortable, I have so much on my mind, what will big sissy do without me to clean her eyes, who will she cuddle with when mommy and daddy are gone? Who will keep pesky little sister in line? But most importantly how to tell mommy and daddy goodbye?
I wander from room to room trying to find the right spot but none seem right, I have a secret I have known for a while my time on earth was come to a close an angel whispered in my ear so I have been trying to make the transition easier for mommy and daddy.
Lots of visitors today doctors and nurses for my aunt. I am special I don't have to go to the bedroom but today I wander in there before the other dogs get in, we have some important matters to discuss. I tell big sissy stay close to mommy and keep little sister in line. I tell pesky little sister watch over aunt Cheryl and keep mommy and daddy entertained they will need it to keep the tears at bay.
All the visitors have gone for the day and it's mommy nap time, I don't normally go to bed with her it is to hot, but I just have to show her I love her and start to say goodbye, still I can't look her in the eye, she will know it is my time to go. My mommy's smart and she is starting to figure it out, she doesn't get much sleep worrying about me, oh my oh my I don't want to make her cry, but how to explain after tonight I will be in no more pain.
Daddy's home and he scoops me up and mommy and daddy love on me. I hear mommy say to daddy "she suffering today, we need to make a decision soon." Little does mommy know God has made the decision for them. It has been a long day of spending special time preparing the way, I love them so and I don't want to go but God says an angel needs a lap dog and it is my turn.
Mommy stays up late watching me closely, I know I can't go in front of her she will try to save me, but that's not my fate. Mommy goes to bed but I am kind of scared so I go to bed with them for cuddles. I can't get comfortable so daddy brings my bed. I hear the angels in my dreams they are louder now. It is important I say one more goodbye, so I bark my playful puppy bark and daddy takes me to bed. Mommy and daddy rub my belly, scratch my head I can't get comfortable so daddy lays me in my bed, I am panting it is so hard to breathe, Mommy gets up gives me her fan. I lay down and relax it is almost the end mommy pets me says "I will be right back." I think to myself I will be gone before you return.
I fall asleep and feel no pain. I see Mommy come back and daddy say "shes finally asleep." Mommy shines her flashlight and says to daddy "NO she gone!" I see Mommy tell Cheryl and break down in sobs. Daddy is holding my body so gentle he doesn't know I feel no pain. I watch Mommy and daddy racked with pain wrap me in my porky pig blanket with a picture of them , a stick and a few little treats, before they place me in my bed they wrap me in a sweat shirt of my aunts. I seen you mommy and kiss and hug me so tight. I watched Mommy and daddy walk me down my favorite trail. I watch them bury me, Mommy you were right you faced me the right way. I brought my blankie, stick and treats to share with all my furry friends up here but my sweatshirt and are mine I won't share.
I have seen my family and friends cry themselves to sleep. I know that for mommy and daddy life will never be the same. I have broke the rules slipped down to visit, Mommy and Daddy heard me bark, I will sneak out to see them as long as I can cause I know they love me and I love them!
Tell everyone I love them and miss them and please don't cry.
I know if love could have saved me I would have lived forever.
In memory of Jazmin Tye Ryania 2/18/17