December 8th 2006, a day that I will always remember.

This story is dedicated to JORDAN, a very special friend that I lost 1 year ago. They say that time heals, but replacing the huge hole in my heart will take more than time. I have had dogs almost all of my life, but Jordan was an exceptionally special companion.

Jordan, my beautiful Brittany, spent his 14 wonderful years with me, and my family. He loved all people and other dogs. I never had a problem taking him where ever I went. He always did all the right things. Everyone loved him for his warm, loyal and kind demeanor. He was a one of a kind, a gem that I was so lucky to find. The memories of the cute little things he did, and 14 years of unconditional love and loyalty will live on with me forever.

Jordan's 14 years of life were relatively healthy with the exception of one bout of kennel cough, and ongoing ear problems. When he was about 5 years old, we had him in the vet for an ear infection. Do to the reason he loved to swim, and was in the pool constantly. His ear problems were controlled with cleaning and medicine. Although last couple of years of his life, he was becoming hard of hearing. When I would call him he did not respond unless I would either make eye contact with him, or clap my hands. But that did not slow him down. He would be right in the mix of everything we did.

On the night of December 7th, 2006 Jordan had a problem. While sleeping beside me, he woke me up at 1:00AM with uncontrollable yelping. I got him settled down by lying with him on the floor by the back door. That night I had a feeling that I may loose my best friend. That was confirmed the next day by the vet. I had to let him go on December 8th, 2006. I'm not sure if I made the right decision. God does that part hurt, there are no words to describe how bad it hurts. I prayed that night that the Lord would make that decision for me. I guess you would call it a feeling of guilt for having to make the decision that only God should make.

A wonderful woman from the Rainbow Bridge replied to my feelings with a beautiful quote:
You gave him permission to leave you, and it is the greatest gift of love...and that is why it hurts so much.

Colt, my other Brittany, joined our family a little over 8 years ago, when Jordan was 7. Jordan and Colt became the best of friends. Two months after Jordan left us, we got a new baby companion for Colt. His name is Kimber, and is a beautiful Brittany that I got from Forrest Hills Brittanys. Kimber and Colt have become good friends. And I believe he may help fill the void for Colt after Jordan left us. I know he has helped fill the hole in my heart.

Below are a couple of writings which really hit home for me. And if you are an animal lover, they will do the same for you.

THE LAST BATTLE

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this--the last battle--can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand.
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please let me go.
Take me to where my needs they'll tend,
Only stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do.
We've been so close--we two--these years.
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
For in God's blessed arms I will wait
Until you arrive, this is our fate.

Living Love
by Martin Scot Kosins

If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will always remember...

The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your young new friend. You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen that silly looking mutt in a shelter--simply because something in its eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that chosen pet home, and watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front room--and when you feel it brush against you for the first time--it instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come.

The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later. It will be a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will look at your long-time friend and see age where you once saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw energy. And you will see sleep where you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend's diet--and you may add a pill or two to his food. And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.

And on this day--if your friend and God have not decided for you, then you will be faced with making a decision of your own--on behalf of your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit. But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you--- you will feel as alone as a single star in the dark night. If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief, or comfort you. But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the many joy-filled years, you may find that a soul--a bit smaller in size than your own---seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely days to come. And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, you may feel something brush against your leg--very very lightly. And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend used to lay---you will remember those three significant days. The memory will most likely be painful, and leave an ache in your heart---As time passes the ache will come and go as it has a life of its own. You will both reject it and embrace it, and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it will still be an ache.

But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when---along with the memory of your pet---and piercing through the heaviness in your heart---there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living Love---like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted, this love will remain and grow--and be there for us to remember. It is a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go. And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a love which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our beloved pets--it is a love that we will always possess.

Jordan, you are out of sight, but will never be out of my heart or mind. Thank you for giving so much and asking so little. You touched my life in more ways than anyone will ever know. You took a huge piece of my heart when you left, but without a doubt, you deserved every bit of it. And someday you will have my whole heart again. Until we meet again my little friend.

I have set up 2 memorials for Jordan, one on the Rainbow Bridge, and one on a friend's web site.
http://www.freewebs.com/quicksilverchihuahuas/jordanmemorial.htm
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/JORDA009/Resident.htm